i have absolutely no will power..

Fitscorcher

The only person in control of you is YOU! We can all help and encourage but ultimately you need to find your willpower. You have willpower, you just have to find it. It's not easy but it's possible. I'm a chocoholic and definitely one for sweets, I thought it was impossible for me too as I am weak but I made the decision to stop and take control. I haven't eaten chocolate , sweets or cake since 25th August. I have 1 Chinese take away and I didn't enjoy it. I'm feeling good because I'm finally winning. YOU CAN DO THIS! Add me as a friend if you want to and we can support each other. Oh and I weigh about 392lb so if I can do it so can you! x

mtapia713

Ask someone to give you a hug. A REAL hug, not a half hearted one arm hug but a real hug. :flowerforyou:

After the hug commit to logging in myfitnesspal.

Log EVERYTHING the good, the bad and the ugly and just keep doing that day after day after day.

Don't worry about the days you go over your calorie amount just keep working at hitting it more days than not.

All the best to you.

kri5tle

If you are tired of starting over, don't quit

This is what keeps me going. It takes 21 days to form a new habit. Set small goals, track your food and review weekly. All the other advice that has been given here.

You will find a way. Stop thinking of food as something you enjoy. It is fuel for your body and that is it. You are not going to get the fuel you need from cake.

JL2513

You've already taken the first step- acknowledging that you have a problem and that something needs to be done. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to begin with. Start small and work your way up.

Personally, just 'eating right' alone is difficult for me. What triggers success is exercise. When I start working out, I naturally want to eat better and healthier foods start to hold lots more appeal. Start with walking and be open to exploring new exercises. I wouldn't try anything too intense or high impact to start off with. Wait until you bring your weight down and your fitness level improves, for safety and motivational reasons, before progressing to those exercises.

One thing that may be really good motivation for you? When you start at a higher weight, the weight melts off more rapidly than someone starting at a lower weight. The process may be long, it may be hard, but it is always, always worth it. Good luck!

dorkof82

Unfortunately there's no secret source of will power. Every single person on this site who has been successful had to make the decision to become a healthier person. It's incredibly simple, but that doesn't make it easy. You have to decide that becoming healthier is worth your effort (believe me, it is), and then you have to just hunker down and do it. No tricks, no gimmicks, no pills, no "kick starts" or whatever else.

Look at every decision you make as a chance to make yourself healthier. Watch TV or take a walk? Eat a side dish of french fries or fresh vegetables? Drink a large Coke or a bottle of water? One decision at a time. Sometimes you'll make unhealthy decisions, but that doesn't mean you're a failure. It's just a detour, you can always get back on track.

Start small, making one change at a time. It's easier to get long-term, sustainable results if you don't try to drastically change your lifestyle all at once.

And develop a healthier relationship with food and exercise, and with yourself. You may want to seek counseling if you feel that there are fundamental psychological issues that are causing you to overeat. For me personally, I didn't develop a healthy sense of self-esteem until I stopped worrying about how I looked and started worrying about making myself healthier and stronger. Maybe that's what you need as well.

Good luck!

THIS!!!!! spot on.

megsmom2

you don't need willpower. just make a choice. right now. just one. choose to eat something healthy, or not to eat anything at all right now. ok, good. now...do it again. make another choice. just one. one small one. good. now...do it again. And again. If you make a bad choice...ok, move on, try to do better....forgive yourself, you're not perfect...but now, make another good choice. And again. Keep doing this. That's all you have to do. Don't sweat tomorrow, or next week, or 10 lbs from now, or anyone else's choices...just keep making one good decision at a time. You CAN do this. If you tell yourself you can't, you'll be right. But if you tell yourself you CAN...you'll be right about that! You can do it. One decision, one choice, one moment, one day at a time. Dream big, yes, but live in smaller chunks of time, and you can stay on track.

christa96

http://www.gainsthroughloss.com

Go here and read this blog. Scroll to the very bottom and start reading. Kyle is a MFP member and his story is truly incredible! He's been there and he did it, along with many, many other people. So can you!

WannabeStressFree

I've quit many times before, not anymore. Our life will keep on going, and if we don't do what we want, the big R word will come along. If you fall once, get up and try again, it's my motto, I slip so many times, yet I get up again.
I was feeling unmotivated just now until I read this post-
Stay on MFP, there are so many inspiring stories, learn and read some more.

I agree to take baby steps, I used to take drastic steps then ended up bingeing, it's not good.
Try small changes and you'll see a quick difference. If you like groups, join Weight Watchers or exercise classes, Zumba, or dvd's at home, it's all good.
You'll eventually find some kind of activity you'll love. I love running/jogging now, who knew?
Look for healthy but yummy recipes. Do research, check out Youtube videos, there's so many out there.
Most of all, open your mind, this is a slow process, not overnight. I remind myself this everyday.
I wish you the very best luck, I'm 34 and wish I had started this journey earlier, but it's all good, we are in it for now and for life.
xo

WestCoastWild

Reading that, it sounds more like you might be depressed, rather than just your average lack-of-willpower post. It sounds like you're suffering from a general lack of motivation in many areas of your personal life, and food is just a part of it. Many people think depression means you are sad, but that's not necessarily true. This is a great explanation of it (in the form of a sarcastic comic strip):

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

Perhaps you can sit down, alone at first, then with a friend or family member, and outline a plan. Im scared of any depression medication, to be frank, so maybe instead of going for that....you could try something you have always wanted to do, or small things that bring some motivation to the table, might be a good place to start. Going on walks listening to music, trying yoga, signing up for random classes, giving yourself a manicure, having a potluck w a bunch of ppl, board game nights, etc. Anything to jumpstart some sense of motivation! Anyways, Im not an expert (obviously, haha) but thought this might steer the discussion in a more productive and perhaps more relevant to your situation direction.

ninerbuff

Till you actually start to value yourself as important, nothing will change. The eating, the sadness the disconcern are symptoms of the real problem. Define and correct it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

5ftnFun

Till you actually start to value yourself as important, nothing will change. The eating, the sadness the disconcern are symptoms of the real problem. Define and correct it.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I always appreciate this guy's truths. Straight to the heart of it.

annaowen67

SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO KICK YOURSELF IN THE *kitten*!

I've been there and not long ago. There's got to be something that can motivate you. Do you have friends or relatives trying to get healthy? - Join them. Do you like to read? - doesn't matter what it is, just read. It'll help get you into a better mindspace. Do you make any good choices? - recognize them and pat yourself on the back. Start building on little good choices and that will lead to bigger good choices.

You can do this - refuse to feel sorry for yourself and just get going! BTW do your make up, pick out your best outfit to wear - FAKE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT!

:happy:

Zaniejane

I haven't read this whole thread so just ignore me if I'm going down a redundant path.

I want to ask you these questions:
What do you do well?
What gave you the strength to join mfp?
What do you do that is healthy and good for your brain? For your body? It could be reading, it could be getting enough sleep. Think of all the things you that are good for you:)

What else is positive in your life? Sometimes if we can consider and list all the positive, we can find a creative way to build on the strengths you ready have in a way that will help you work towards your goals.

NikiChicken

I haven't read the responses, so I'm sure all this has already been said.

Will power has nothing to do with it. Will power waxes and wanes for all of us. It's DETERMINATION that is the key. It's NOT easy, but you know what? Being fat isn't easy either. Pick which hard you want.

Take things one hour at a time. Don't look long-term. Just get through this ONE single hour and tackle the next when it comes and then keep doing that over and over. Some days are easier than others and on the hard days, tackle it minute by minute.

The more care you take for yourself, the better you will feel and the better you feel, the easier it becomes. There will STILL be hard days, but they will become easier and easier to get through. The more hours you make it through, the more days that pile up, the more it becomes habit.

padams2359

My problem was not sweets, it was just food. However, a little sweet does hit the spot from time to time. Fibre One Oats and Chocolate are the bomb. 140 Cal. That's about 10% of 1400 calories per day. I agree, plan your meals. Put in what you want into the program, and work around it. If you stop everything, you are destin to fail. Just space out the bad things, and enjoy them when your have them. About 3 weeks ago, I wanted a cheese burger and fries. I had not had one in weeks. I ate about a third of the burger as is, about 10 shoe string fries, then ate the rest of the patty and cheese only. My stomach was in knots for hours. I wanted it, had it, and moved on. Today I had Chinese. Didn't eat half of what I use to eat, and had not had it in about 3 weeks. I use to eat it about twice a week. No fried foods now. Oddly enough, I and trying to figure out how to get all my calories in for today. If watermelon does it for you, make sure you always have some on hand.

slim4health56

As contradictory as all this advice is, 99% of it is still great advice! Weight loss is very personal - what may work for one might not work for another. I've been at this for about 2 1/2 months and will power flew out the window a long time ago. Some days are easy, some days I "white knuckle" it through the day wanting to eat everything. But, most days, I make it through, close to my calorie allotment. When you fail, don't quit...just try something else. Start with small changes, drink water, and commit to reducing your calories to a small deficit, and throw in a little walk for good measure. Stay focused on how you want to feel, not how you feel at your current weight...negative reinforcement is less effective than positive enforcement.

And, just know this: Sometimes it's hard...but it's never impossible.

MrsFowler1069

MFP could seriously destroy your health. I joined last Thursday, and have yet to see a profile that has the minimum daily BMR allowance recommended for an adult. And, I don't believe, all the MFP members, are less than 12 years old. Well, I am not, and should have been given a BMR suitable for an adult female, but no. Even, the protein levels are to low compared to the carbohydrate ratio. Need I go on?
A long talk with your practisioner, should set you on the right track, or write a letter, if your gp is busy.

Didn't you say you were leaving? If you don't like it here, you are free to do that. No one will miss you or your negativity.

I have checked my TDEE with several online calculators and, accounting for taking out exercise, my levels here are just fine. I'm also losing weight and am never hungry. The protein is a minimum, not a maximum; further, you can set them to a customized level if you prefer.

If this is the system that you're looking for, then go fine one that is and stop being childish.

wilsoje74

I would, but I don't know where to find it.. where do I get that from?

how do I get started?

I don't even know how to make a plan.

You don't need a plan, just start tracking calories.

BrendaLee

You can't rely on willpower or motivation. You just need to decide that you've had enough and do something about it. Have you had enough? You're basically where I was when I started in February. I saw a really big number on the scale, and that was it for me. I struggle a lot, but I have no choice but to do this if I want a life.

TheRealParisLove

Will power is like muscles or endurance. You have to work at it and start small and build up to having better strength.

Perhaps a radical change is in order. Do something completely out of the ordinary. Maybe even try a juice fast for a couple of days and see if that doesn't help (it requires a juicer and a whole lot of produce, so it can be expensive).