Bye Bye Obesity: 400 days, 135 pounds lost with pics

njgarose28

Outstanding, you have truly decided to live your life and not let food destroy it by keeping you isolated, miserable and slowly unconsciously killing yourself. I am and glad to see your journey to the other side.

INxFOCUSx2013

Today was a remarkable milestone day for me. For the first time in decades I am not classified as “Obese”. At 158 pounds with a BMI of 29.9 I am proud to say I am now “Overweight”.

I started this most recent journey in August of 2012. I was not just obese, but morbidly obese. My highest weight was 306, a BMI of 57.8. I was killing myself and it felt like it. My obesity was interfering with my basic physical functions, and with age it was getting worse. I suffered from severe obstructive sleep apnea, hypertension, osteoarthritis, gastroesophageal reflux, transient osteoporosis, depression, stress incontinence and constant exhaustion. Along the way, I lost my gall bladder, uterus and one kidney.

I’ve given enough of my life over to this self-inflicted condition, I am done with it. Bye bye obesity! This train has left the station. Here is a review of some of the stops I’ve passed along the way; many of you may recognize one, or more, in your own journey:

- Bullying
I remember incessantly being called “maternity ward” by some idiot boy in 6th grade. I can still remember the flash of heat when my face would go crimson with shame and embarrassment. I felt like such an outsider, unworthy to be a part of the group, afraid to reach out for fear of being shot down. That was over 40 years ago and it still hurts today when I think about it.

- Public Shaming
Going clothes shopping with my mom and the saleslady saying “Oh, you need to go to the chubby department, we don’t have anything here that will fit her”. And my mom turning to me and chiding that I needed to lose weight in front of the saleslady. A double dose of shaming. To this day, I don’t like to go clothes shopping. I totally avoid it.

- Secret Eating
Growing up, I felt like there was no safe place to go… except lost in the pleasure of food. Food was my secret best friend, my security blanket. I would hide stashes of it all around so I would never be without. People wouldn’t make me feel very good, but those cookies and candy bars sure would. I could escape into a happy sugary world and build up my insulation against more hurt.

- Food Addiction
As I grew older, things didn’t change much. Except that it was significantly easier to get more food. Fast food became an addiction, having to get my fix almost every day, and it didn’t require much interaction with other people. The succulent warm deliciousness of a burger and fries momentarily made up for the lack of warmth from others.

- Denial
I remember when it first hit me. I saw it on a medical chart: “obese female”. I didn’t think I was that bad and I ignored it. Eventually the charts said “morbidly obese female”. So, I stopped going to the doctor so I wouldn’t have to see it and feel humiliated and ashamed. Out of sight is out of mind, I kept my blinders on tightly.

- Professional Humiliation
Out on a business lunch with a group of people and being shown to a booth that I obviously had no hope of fitting into. I had to ask to be reseated in front of everyone there… and the whole group had to stand around waiting, uncomfortably, until the restaurant readied another table.

- Ostracism
What stands out is traveling. The look of dread on passengers’ faces when they saw me in the aisle seat and were worried they might have the seat assignment next to me. Having to ask for the extension belt and the flight attendant rolling her eyes, going to get one and handing it over in a demonstration of abject disgust.

- Discomfort
Being cold and no one offering to lend me a sweater, sweatshirt or jacket because it just wasn’t going to fit and everyone knew it. So, I pretended not to be cold.

- Binging
Being embarrassed to eat in front of other people, wanting them to think that I somehow just got fat by a quirk of nature, bad metabolism, an act of God… anything not to have them suspect that I simply had no self-control. So, I pretended not to be hungry and binged in secret.

- Isolation
It just got to be too painful to go out anymore, both physically and emotionally. Why bother… except to get more food. If a place had a drive thru, I would be there to get my fix.

- Hiding
I hid behind anything available when a camera came out, I gazed away when passing a mirror, but the worst hiding was from myself. I steadfastly avoided looking inward at the issues that were causing me to find comfort in food at the expense of my health.

All that is behind me, but I won’t forget where I’ve been because return visits are not on the itinerary.

These past 400 days I have changed from the inside out. This transition is a celebration of my graduation into a new life, a new era. I’ve learned so many lessons about myself, how I want to live and my relationship with food. I see myself differently: as a healthy person, and act accordingly. I am facing the issues that made me turn to food. I have not been “on a diet”, I have changed my lifestyle and how I choose to fit into the world. I have taken back control of my life.

Bye bye obesity! This train has left the station and I am never going back. Now passing through “Overweight”; next and final stop: “Normal Weight”. All aboard!

Before:



Today:

You are one AWESOME LADY! Congratulations

DiaryofaMadFatMan

Congrats! You look great!

lenore304

Amazing job! You're an inspiration! Go you!!!!!

losin4ever

Thank You so much for breaking down all the trials and tribulation of your journey. I can as well as many I'm sure, relate to so many of your topics. You have done an amazing job! For once in my LIFE I'm going to get off that darn morbidly obese train too and say Bye Bye and Ki$$ my *kitten*.......

I remember the day back in 1989 when I had to have emergency back surgery and the Dr called me Morbidly Obese. I was horrified. Sad to say that it clicked for a few months then back to binging. I've done this yo yo cycle for over half my adult life. I'm now 51 and proud mother of a soon to be 7 year old and enough is ENOUGH!!

I'd like to add you as support if you don't mind.......


Donna.....

sparklelioness

you go, girl! you look happy

davypr86

Congratulations! You look amazing. Great transformation!

I read your story and I really felt what you were going through. When I was obese I went through many of the things you said. The humiliation, having to buy clothes in certain places...ect. So, I know where you are coming from.

Well done!

Nennajayx3

Very nice progress ! ☺️

CHERYLRWT

Loved your story! Very relatable! Congratulations on your success!

madaleingericke

Wish I could hug you - bravo! You are so honest and encouraging that what you wrote should help many, many others. Thanks.

imzadi481

You are amazing, thanks for sharing!

mfernando6

your amazing :flowerforyou:

momjmd

Wow!! thank you for sharing!! I wish all the young girls and boys could read this to know the affect that they are having on others by teasing them about their weight- and the parents too. So glad that you have found yourself through this process!!! You are doing amazing!!!!! Hoping to become overweight sometime soon too

skylarbwell

Congratulations on your success! It is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story

BeckyLF05

Love your story! Your are an amazing person and you will do just fine...I have no doubt! :flowerforyou:

zornig

Thank you for that incredibly thoughtful and articulate post. Congratulations to you!

janatarnhem

I have seen bits of myself through your journey! Congratulations on you loss and your new life! I am in awe!

traciz78

Wow....Everything you have written seems to come out of my life. You are definitely an inspiration. I have fought this weight since I was a small child. I started getting "chubby" at the age of 5. My sister was born chubby and slimmed down by the age of 3 and stayed that way. Fair? No. Did it cause me to secretly sneak into the kitchen at night and eat half the carton of Oreos? Yes. My Dad and my Grandfather were always trying to tell me how to lose the weight, but all I heard was words they didn't say, "YOU ARE TOO FAT!"

When dress hunting for my sisters wedding, I had a breakdown in the middle of the bridal shop because they had no bridemaids dresses "large" enough for me to try on. I lost it. I sat in the dressing room and cried. I ruined her dress shopping day. That's when something snapped.

I started trying to lose weight. By the last fitting two days before her wedding, my bridesmaid skirt slid off my hips! I had done it. I had lost something. But that didn't last long.....fell off the wagon.

Then got back on, fell off, back on, fell off.....you know the story. When I started this journey in 2010, I was 232 pounds. Two days ago, I was 183. I still have a long way to go, (I'm short, so the 183 is not a good look for me), but as of right now, I am back with a vengeance.

Reading your post just gave me an extra push. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that we have control of our bodies and only we, as individuals, can make the difference we want to see.

(I apologize that I have written a book. I'm sure many people on here understand this pain. You are an inspiration!)

MamaCat99

Well done! Beautifully written. I never had your struggles (mine were very different) but I can TOTALLY relate. So happy to see your beautiful, warm, confident self today. Keep it up. No question, you'll make it.

~Jina (aka MamaCat99)

klerato

Wow,look at you.....not even your obvious weightloss.....but how truly happy you look! Congrats