Why water is making you fat
Hi there everyone.
Dr Professor Mutant Esq. here. You may remember me from some of my previous academic studies.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/942499-eggs-make-you-fat?hl=Air+fats
I'm here to share a recent discovery with you, regarding some shocking discoveries about the chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide- yes this CHEMICAL that the GOVERNMENT is forcing on the masses is making you fat.
Now, I'm much more smarter at sciencing than all of you people so I will try to dumb this down for you and break it down in simple terms.
First of all, what is water?
Water is called H2O because it contains Hydrogen and Oxygen. That's right, oxygen. Not only is Oxygen a source of 'air fats' (see my previous studies) but it also has some other interesting properties.
Human bodies are pretty much exactly the same as balloons. The only difference is that we have legs and hair. If you cut a balloon open its insides are the same as ours.
Now what happens when you put OXYGEN in a balloon?
That's right. It gets BIGGER!
That's the conspiracy behind this so called "water"
It's just a sneaky ploy by the government to sneak oxygen into our balloon parts and make us fatter. My research isn't finished yet, so I don't really know why, but it probably means they are in cahoots with the airlines and are trying to make you buy two seats.
So if you want my professional medical opinion then please STOP DRINKING WATER.
THE MADNESS HAS TO END.
Dr Professor Mutant Esq. here. You may remember me from some of my previous academic studies.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/942499-eggs-make-you-fat?hl=Air+fats
I'm here to share a recent discovery with you, regarding some shocking discoveries about the chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide- yes this CHEMICAL that the GOVERNMENT is forcing on the masses is making you fat.
Now, I'm much more smarter at sciencing than all of you people so I will try to dumb this down for you and break it down in simple terms.
First of all, what is water?
Water is called H2O because it contains Hydrogen and Oxygen. That's right, oxygen. Not only is Oxygen a source of 'air fats' (see my previous studies) but it also has some other interesting properties.
Human bodies are pretty much exactly the same as balloons. The only difference is that we have legs and hair. If you cut a balloon open its insides are the same as ours.
Now what happens when you put OXYGEN in a balloon?
That's right. It gets BIGGER!
That's the conspiracy behind this so called "water"
It's just a sneaky ploy by the government to sneak oxygen into our balloon parts and make us fatter. My research isn't finished yet, so I don't really know why, but it probably means they are in cahoots with the airlines and are trying to make you buy two seats.
So if you want my professional medical opinion then please STOP DRINKING WATER.
THE MADNESS HAS TO END.
0
Replies
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because your not drinking enough0
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Don't be so foolish. The government wants you to become addicted to water.0
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What about wine? Is wine safe?0
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I have missed you, Mutant!0
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So if you want my professional medical opinion then please STOP DRINKING WATER.
And in my professional medical opinion, I agree and I think we should all start drinking diet soda, diet chocolate milk. Switch to full sugar stuff only if you run 20 miles a day or deadlift above 100 kg.0 -
In.
...for science.0 -
I have literally never heard this before.0
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So if you want my professional medical opinion then please STOP DRINKING WATER.
And in my professional medical opinion, I agree and I think we should all start drinking diet soda, diet chocolate milk. Switch to full sugar stuff only if you run 20 miles a day or deadlift above 100 kg.
All of these are much better alternatives.
You know what else likes water? Sharks. Would you trust a shark to have your best interest in mind?0 -
Hi there everyone.
Dr Professor Mutant Esq. here. You may remember me from some of my previous academic studies.0 -
Lol!0
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Because science! I love your threads
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You are fun, Dr. Mutant0
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I looked at your egg thread, and loved that some people initially took it seriously. +10
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In.
...for science.0 -
this is why i only drink ethanol0
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Hi there everyone.
Dr Professor Mutant Esq. here. You may remember me from some of my previous academic studies.
Oh I miss Troy McClure so much. I wonder if the Simpsons would be better now if he were still alive and still doing that show? I have to watch vintage Simpsons on DVD instead of the newer ones on TV.0 -
Do you guys know that 100% of people struggling with obesity drink water? The numbers don't lie. Water can only be made safe by mixing it with slim fast0
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Hi there everyone.
Dr Professor Mutant Esq. here. You may remember me from some of my previous academic studies.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/942499-eggs-make-you-fat?hl=Air+fats
I'm here to share a recent discovery with you, regarding some shocking discoveries about the chemical Dihydrogen Monoxide- yes this CHEMICAL that the GOVERNMENT is forcing on the masses is making you fat.
Now, I'm much more smarter at sciencing than all of you people so I will try to dumb this down for you and break it down in simple terms.
First of all, what is water?
Water is called H2O because it contains Hydrogen and Oxygen. That's right, oxygen. Not only is Oxygen a source of 'air fats' (see my previous studies) but it also has some other interesting properties.
Human bodies are pretty much exactly the same as balloons. The only difference is that we have legs and hair. If you cut a balloon open its insides are the same as ours.
Now what happens when you put OXYGEN in a balloon?
That's right. It gets BIGGER!
That's the conspiracy behind this so called "water"
It's just a sneaky ploy by the government to sneak oxygen into our balloon parts and make us fatter. My research isn't finished yet, so I don't really know why, but it probably means they are in cahoots with the airlines and are trying to make you buy two seats.
So if you want my professional medical opinion then please STOP DRINKING WATER.
THE MADNESS HAS TO END.
How do you quantify " much more smarter". I guess That is why I will continue to drink Single Malt Scotch straight up, no water for me. Don't want to be much more smarter!!!0 -
I have missed you, Mutant!
I imagine you have, nobody else here is smart enough to blow an information load all over your mind space0 -
good thing I only drink maker's mark.
:drinker:0 -
'Much more smarter' is a term used in the academic community meaning I am better a doing smart and sciencing with my brain than you are because you are stupid0
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Straight whisky please. 0
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because your not drinking enough
Wrong "you're," but nice toilet, bro.0 -
Safe! I only drink beer.0
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Mmmm damn water
lol 0 -
i think i have seen your website:
http://www.dhmo.org/
other damaging properties are:
Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
Contributes to soil erosion.
Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.0 -
inb4 people ask for a reference to this claim0
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In for sciencing and other more smart stuff0
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Please tell me vodka is a-okay! Or is it unsafe because it is also clear and wet? Oh my god, how far down does the rabbit hole go?!0
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no offence but do u really belong from this planet?0
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