Why water is making you fat

Options
1246

Replies

  • Lemongrab1
    Lemongrab1 Posts: 158 Member
    Options
    I can confirm this is 300% fact.
    I worked out 6 days a week, ate 'healthily' and drank my recommend 8 glasses of water. Nothing changed! I remained obese. I was at the depths of despair, yet adequately hydrated.
    Slowly slowly...I took to the marijuanas. Snorting, shooting, smoking, I even boiled it in spaghetti.
    I was high and never thirsty ALL. THE. TIME.
    I decided I didn't want to live any more. What was the point? Everything I saw was purple (because drugs) and most of what I saw were stomach rolls. I decided I was going to dehydrate myself into extinction.
    On the third day of my extended suicide attempt, I was THIN! Not just "Ooo, I'm skinnier!", I'm talking a 60LBS WEIGHT LOSS!
    When people say "It's just water weight", remember that 'water weight' is fat because water is FAT!
    It's thank to scientists like Mutant that I can now prance around in string bikinis and have sex with vain men with testicular abs.
    :flowerforyou:
  • sdreed25
    sdreed25 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    I drink about 4 litres a day! God damn that's why I'm so fat (and not the 5,000 cupcakes). From tomorrow I'm switching to Coke and Vodka all day long, I'll be thin in no time
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
    Options
    and at your age,, you know this?
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
    Options
    its true about the coke and vodka tho
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    WAKE UP, SHEEPLE

    Because XKCD
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    I seriously need help, i have just drunk half a liter of water again...
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    I seriously need help, i have just drunk half a liter of water again...
    [/quote
    You are beyond help


    I dub thee a WATER JUNKIE. Get out of here water junkie
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    I can confirm this is 300% fact.
    I worked out 6 days a week, ate 'healthily' and drank my recommend 8 glasses of water. Nothing changed! I remained obese. I was at the depths of despair, yet adequately hydrated.
    Slowly slowly...I took to the marijuanas. Snorting, shooting, smoking, I even boiled it in spaghetti.
    I was high and never thirsty ALL. THE. TIME.
    I decided I didn't want to live any more. What was the point? Everything I saw was purple (because drugs) and most of what I saw were stomach rolls. I decided I was going to dehydrate myself into extinction.
    On the third day of my extended suicide attempt, I was THIN! Not just "Ooo, I'm skinnier!", I'm talking a 60LBS WEIGHT LOSS!
    When people say "It's just water weight", remember that 'water weight' is fat because water is FAT!
    It's thank to scientists like Mutant that I can now prance around in string bikinis and have sex with vain men with testicular abs.
    :flowerforyou:

    The facts are there plebeians. Come look beyond the veil.
  • bantamspaul
    bantamspaul Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    It's no wonder water is evil - most of it is here on earth near the devil in hell not up in the sky near God. Repent you sinners.

    Inciidentally, is Holy Water any better for you?
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    It's no wonder water is evil - most of it is here on earth near the devil in hell not up in the sky near God. Repent you sinners.

    Inciidentally, is Holy Water any better for you?

    Only holy water that has been blessed by a naturopath
  • bantamspaul
    bantamspaul Posts: 77 Member
    Options
    Wow - you know everything!
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    Options
    I'm going to start drinking helium, if my insides are like that of a balloon.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    Options
    I'm going to start drinking helium, if my insides are like that of a balloon.

    You would be interested in my new book 'Helium Makes You Lighter-The Tapeworm Diet.'
  • tinz75
    tinz75 Posts: 912 Member
    Options
    I think my company are pumping artificial Air Fats into the air conditioning system.
  • missdibs1
    missdibs1 Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    OMG Over exposure to OXygen again!


    We are all doomed
  • OccupiedBanana
    OccupiedBanana Posts: 6 Member
    Options
    Don't be so foolish. The government wants you to become addicted to water.

    This is funnier than Kayne West's tweets insulting Jimmy Kimmel.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    OMG!

    Yesterday I had water, white potatoes AND corn.

    It's all over for me. Save yourselves!
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
    Options
    41786_363593427585_4978751_n.jpg
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    Options
    DRINK MOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    funny-aquarium-exploded-water-woman-animated-gif-pics.gif
  • Camera_BagintheUK
    Camera_BagintheUK Posts: 707 Member
    Options
    Well I'm not giving up my cuppa tea. I'm just not. I'll take the risk.

    Anyway, water in the UK is different since it falls from the sky - incessantly. We don't drink it, we absorb it through our skin which creates immunity. Also we're surrounded on all sides by it. Water holds no fears for us. In fact it keeps us safe!

Categories