Why water is making you fat

Mutant13

BALLS! I have already had 3 cups of water this morning, that is going straight to my thighs. :sad: :sad: :sad:
Thank you for this edumacational thread :flowerforyou:

Water dependence is a difficult thing. Now that you have admitted that you have a problem we can begin the healing process.

bantamspaul

I live only on air fats now - I have never felt better

turbofuzz77

I mix my government issued water with gasoline and now i ride my bike like a rocket!

Mutant13

wait a second, the water is polyunsaturated fats, so it's all goooood!

False! Saturated means wet.

What else is wet? WATER!

Mutant13

But i am addicted to water.

Is there an Anomynous Water Drinkers (AWD) group for this i can sign up to

I'm looking at starting AWD in my basement. We can't hold it anywhere else because I'm not allowed within 500m of schools, churches, museums, cemetaries or Blockbuster.

bantamspaul

Hold on a cotton-picking minute air-fats are slightly damp surely they don't contain the vile substance water as well??

Mutant13

Hold on a cotton-picking minute air-fats are slightly damp surely they don't contain the vile substance water as well??

No, air fats are dangerous in other ways. Unlike other calories, air fats are extremely 'floaty' so they can sneak in to every bodily orifice.

EVERY orifice.

bantamspaul

Hold on a cotton-picking minute air-fats are slightly damp surely they don't contain the vile substance water as well??

No, air fats are dangerous in other ways. Unlike other calories, air fats are extremely 'floaty' so they can sneak in to every bodily orifice.

EVERY orifice.

Phew! I'm good with that - saves eating and avoids water and eggs too

Pookylou

But i am addicted to water.

Is there an Anomynous Water Drinkers (AWD) group for this i can sign up to

I'm looking at starting AWD in my basement. We can't hold it anywhere else because I'm not allowed within 500m of schools, churches, museums, cemetaries or Blockbuster.

I would like to join. I am currently having another glass.... I can't get this monkey off my back. I am so weak. :sad:

SkinnyWannabeGal

Screw water! No wonder I'm a fatty-mcfatterton! I am playing it safe and am never drinking anything ever again (you never know what liquids the government may have snuck that vile poison into!).

Thanks for saving my life, Mutant. I owe ya one.

losing4799

thank god I only drink pure distilled coke zero.

Snow3y

I think I lost a brain cell

bubaluboo

I applaud your brave warning Dr Mutant but I am afraid that you have only told half of the story. Were you silenced before you could give the whole truth of the devastating effect of water? WATER KILLS!!! OK so the oxygen causes air fat but then your left with hydrogen. It would be great if that left your body harmlessly, but no! The hydrogen builds up in lymph glands. Firstly it suffocates your immune system leading to increased susceptibility to colds and flu. But that's not all! In the worst cases, due to the highly explosive nature of hydrogen, those deluded individuals that drink over 8 glasses a day could at any moment SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST!!! There is hope though, FIZZY DRINKS - the carbon dioxide will mop up the excess hydrogen to form the relatively harmless ethanol which is efficiently processed by the liver.

Mutant13

I applaud your brave warning Dr Mutant but I am afraid that you have only told half of the story. Were you silenced before you could give the whole truth of the devastating effect of water? WATER KILLS!!! OK so the oxygen causes air fat but then your left with hydrogen. It would be great if that left your body harmlessly, but no! The hydrogen builds up in lymph glands. Firstly it suffocates your immune system leading to increased susceptibility to colds and flu. But that's not all! In the worst cases, due to the highly explosive nature of hydrogen, those deluded individuals that drink over 8 glasses a day could at any moment SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST!!! There is hope though, FIZZY DRINKS - the carbon dioxide will mop up the excess hydrogen to form the relatively harmless ethanol which is efficiently processed by the liver.

CAREFUL BUBALUBOO!
There are eyes everywhere. I have shared these suspicions for sometime. We must be careful.

Meet me at my Antarctic fortress. Bring beer

LarryDUk

I think I lost a brain cell

I think you better find it STAT!

Chadomaniac

Wtf is happening in here

Mutant13

Wtf is happening in here

Motherf*ckin science

njbh86

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE

bubaluboo

I applaud your brave warning Dr Mutant but I am afraid that you have only told half of the story. Were you silenced before you could give the whole truth of the devastating effect of water? WATER KILLS!!! OK so the oxygen causes air fat but then your left with hydrogen. It would be great if that left your body harmlessly, but no! The hydrogen builds up in lymph glands. Firstly it suffocates your immune system leading to increased susceptibility to colds and flu. But that's not all! In the worst cases, due to the highly explosive nature of hydrogen, those deluded individuals that drink over 8 glasses a day could at any moment SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST!!! There is hope though, FIZZY DRINKS - the carbon dioxide will mop up the excess hydrogen to form the relatively harmless ethanol which is efficiently processed by the liver.

CAREFUL BUBALUBOO!
There are eyes everywhere. I have shared these suspicions for sometime. We must be careful.

Meet me at my Antarctic fortress. Bring beer

Antarctic fortress...they will never suspect...surrounded by water, protected by beer! Cunning! I am tunnelling out of here. It may take some time.

Chadomaniac

Wtf is happening in here

Motherf*ckin science

Lets do the big bang??