Do you let your partner tell you what to wear?

Mutant13
Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok, so without going into too much detail- my partner attempted to tell me I couldn't/shouldn't wear something because he was concerned I might get too much attention.

He got a total and utter verbal beat down. I'm a grown adult and I can dress myself, I'm not stupid and can make my own decisions about appropriate clothing.

It made me wonder though, is it ever ok for your partner to tell you what to wear? Has it happened to you?
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Replies

  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Yeah, I'm told all the time I don't match, or that my shoes should be black or brown.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    That's mean
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,407 Member
    No. My boyfriend is really good at only giving his opinion when asked when it comes to my appearance. I am grateful that he is honest too for when I do ask.
  • juliewatkin
    juliewatkin Posts: 764 Member
    It's a bit of a grey area. What were you wearing that your partner took issue with it? Why did he feel it would draw undo attention? Did you ask him?

    I don't think I've ever really objected to something my husband was wearing but may make gentle suggestions as to what I think may be appropriate for an occasion. In addition, if he felt uncomfortable with something I were wearing I'd take his thoughts and feelings into account just as I'd expect him to take mine into account.

    In most relationships it's not about control and telling another what they can and can't do or wear but considering another's feelings.
  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,486 Member
    No way. He only offers his opinion if I ask. He does not mind if I get too much attention either as long as people keep their hands off.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    I dress my husband, but he would never try and tell me what to not wear. lol Then again, my husbands color blind too so he has issues matching things.
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    No
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
    It's a bit of a grey area. What were you wearing that your partner took issue with it? Why did he feel it would draw undo attention? Did you ask him?

    I don't think I've ever really objected to something my husband was wearing but may make gentle suggestions as to what I think may be appropriate for an occasion. In addition, if he felt uncomfortable with something I were wearing I'd take his thoughts and feelings into account just as I'd expect him to take mine into account.

    In most relationships it's not about control and telling another what they can and can't do or wear but considering another's feelings.

    It's pretty tame. A long dress with a slit to mid thigh.

    I can understand saying things like 'it might be a bit cold for that shirt' or 'here, why don't I iron that for you?' Or even something like 'the Smiths are really conservative, maybe you should bring a jacket or something...'

    Beyond that I think it's a pretty sh!tyy thing to do
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    No, but he will make stupid comments if he doesn't like it, in hopes that I'll go change. Which I don't. I'm also grown :smile:
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I don't want my boyfriend telling me what to wear, but at the same time, I wouldn't want him to be ok with other guys looking at my "stuff" if I was wearing something too revealing. Ultimately, it is my decision though,
  • LurveTheDoctor
    LurveTheDoctor Posts: 303
    My husband and I are life partners and his opinion on my clothing matters. I don't want to wear shirts w/ my tits hanging out bc those are for feeding babies and my husband to see.

    So, If he said something didn't look good or he didn't like how revealing it was I wouldn't wear it. Then again, He never would bc he really just doesn't care.

    And, I constantly tell him what to wear and dress him and buy all his clothes.. bc he doesn't care.

    I go out of my way to try and make sure all of his clothing matches with each other bc he doesn't even try to look good in that aspect.
  • notreallychris
    notreallychris Posts: 501 Member
    I'm a confused dude. So I usually ask the Mrs. if what I'm wearing is acceptable.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    No.
  • KimberlyinMN
    KimberlyinMN Posts: 302 Member
    Nope. I might ask him his opinion between a couple of choices that I've put together. Although sometimes he's suggested I wear "this" or "that", but he doesn't TELL me. (I'm always up for listening to advice, but I may not always take it.)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    My wife and I are grown adults. She's more than capable of picking out my clothes, and I'm quite adept at freaking out over her bikinis. I'm sorry, what was the question?
  • TheRealBruceWayne
    TheRealBruceWayne Posts: 22 Member
    Not a chance.. the majority of women don't know nearly as much about style and dressing men as they think they do. I dress myself and I look good doing it. If my girlfriend wants to be sexy or topless for that matter I don't care.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    My ex used to. My current likes when I dress sexy. :bigsmile:
  • rakufire
    rakufire Posts: 21 Member
    My guy has excellent taste and a great eye, so if he gives his opinion, I sure as hell listen. Besides which, I want to look good for me first and him second, so his opinion is important to me. Having said that, I can't imagine him ever outright banning or demanding anything.
  • HeyGoRun
    HeyGoRun Posts: 550 Member
    Only at bed time which is always "wear nothing" lol im cool with that
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    Nope never been told what to wear. If it were up to my husband I would be in tight sexy clothes 24/7, he's not threatened by the attention I get, he takes it as a compliment.
  • dcarr67
    dcarr67 Posts: 1,403
    Your husband would be making a good choice then :)

    I haven't been married 24 years by telling my wife anything...LOL
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    I value my husband's opinion, but I don't always follow it. He won't object if I dress sexy to go out with him, but for the most part he doesn't care. I tend to ask him more about interview clothes and the like, and he has been known to give good advice.

    If your SO is complaining that you might get too much attention, remind him that he's all the attention you care about or need.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    No, my man is down with my choices, lol.
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
    Heck no! My SO is a bit more clever in that department, though. He works on positive reinforcement.
    I'll wear a dress or an outfit and he'll mention off-the-cuff "I love that colour" or "That dress looks great on you"... So I'll make a mental note to buy/wear more stuff in that colour/style because he likes it and so do I!

    If we have something special lined up like a party etc, I will ask him what level of "fancy" we need to be (I am a jeans and teeshirt type of girl by default, and he lives in Hawaii so most of the time even that gets downgraded to "shorts and vest) before we go out.

    I like him to find me attractive, but he's not so insecure that he would tell me not to wear something for fear of attracting attention from other men.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Nope. He doesn't offer anything unless I ask his opinion.

    His intelligence leaves me in awe sometimes. :-D
  • lintino
    lintino Posts: 526 Member
    This made me smile. I love big, colorful and beautiful prints. My husband has frequently said he does not like them. But he will still go out with me!!!
  • Clameater
    Clameater Posts: 317
    No, but I tell them what they can't wear
  • rollins52
    rollins52 Posts: 2
    The thing is, it's not what he said, it's what he meant.

    Maybe he was expressing some insecurity about himself in your relationship, a certain amount of anxiety about whether he deserves you or not. Maybe he needs reassurance. Maybe he just wants to hear that, no matter how sexy you look or how many guys try to hit on you, he is your one and only.

    Unless he isn't.

    In which case, yeah, he SHOULD be concerned about what you're wearing.
  • Change4mygirls
    Change4mygirls Posts: 28 Member
    Only if it shows too much cleavage.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    That would not fly with me.

    I "let my partner tell me what to wear"...as in...I ask him "owl necklace or spiky necklace? red dress or black skirt? yellow shoes with this, or just brown shoes?"

    I like his opinion. I like looking nice for him. I am perfectly capable of dressing myself, however, and whether something is revealing or not is not the issue. Good for you for telling him what's what!!!

    ETA: I also rely on my fiance and my mom to tell me when something is too big for me. That happens a lot lately because I'm not totally used to wearing smaller stuff than before. Just this AM, I trusted my fiance's opinion to toss this old shirt that was literally falling off one shoulder when I woke up. It's not cute even for sleeping in now.

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