what is the worst thing you have been called?
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A horrible response to a question loaded with low self-esteem issues. And, not wanting to sound like a creeper, an incorrect response judging by your pic.0
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"Slow"
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Wow! First, let me just say...I don't know a single person in this thread...but I love all of you. Those of us who have been verbally abused can take heart in the fact that we are ALL HERE...trying to better ourselves...for OURSELVES! I have my own story...but first, I must admit that halfway through reading this thread...I sent texts to a couple of my close friends. I happen to be a VERY outspoken person, and I asked them if I had ever said anything to them that hurt their feelings or stuck with them. I needed a reality check, because honestly...I have probably said things to people thinking it was "helping" when in fact, it could have been hurting them. Thankfully, those people (who took entirely TOO long to think about it, and had me panicking!!! Ha!) told me that, no, nothing came to mind. My story is a long one, and I tend to pull TL;DR comments, but I'll try to make it short:
Sheltered my entire life...until high school, I went to the same school system with the same people. I was friends with just about everyone. Then, in the middle of my freshman year of high school, my mother moved in with my (now ex-) stepdad. He lived in Austin, Texas...and I had grown up in the suburbs of Birmingham, Alabama. Yeah...culture shock, much?! Again, I was sheltered and spoiled rotten. I went to a private school. Dated the most popular guy that went to that school. Yada yada yada. Anyway, no one really made fun of anyone there...everyone kind of got along. (I know...weird for a high school, but anyway.) Then, during my junior year of high school, the oh-so-popular boyfriend had gone off to college, and I started hanging out with some people that didn't go to my school. I was 16 when I met "tall, handsome, 19 year old, who had his own apartment". Needless to say, the summer between my junior and senior years in high school, I lost my virginity to this man-boy. He had me convinced that we could run off together and live a wonderful life. So...that's what I did. He took me all the way to Michigan right before I turned 17. (At the time, 17 was "legal age" in Michigan.) He took me as far away from everything and everyone I knew as he could. He kept me isolated. The physical and sexual abuse was bad enough...BUT...the verbal abuse was the hardest to get over. It was easy for him to practically brainwash me. Here I was...a sheltered 16 year old...away from anyone who could tell me anything different than what he told me. He spent close to a year convincing me that I was worthless...I was crazy...no one would EVER love a piece of *kitten* like me...blah blah blah. He got me pregnant, and the day before my 17th birthday...I was almost 5 months pregnant...he beat my daughter straight out of me. He told me that I should have taken better care of myself. I believed him. ANYWAY...this went on for a couple of years until I finally got away from him right when I turned 19. I literally had to "re-learn" how to be ME. I had to learn to drive...(he never "allowed" me to get a driver's license)...I had to learn how to trust people. It was awful. I spent that first year away from him drinking myself into oblivion every single day. Then...a light switch went off. I realized that all I was doing was allowing him to still have power over me. To this day...(I will be 33 in a couple of days)...he has kept "tabs" on me. He knows exactly where I live, even though I live in Alabama again (with my AMAZING husband! *smile*)...and he lives in Texas. He still tries to "get" to me...and guess what! I don't let him. Ever. It took years for me to not flinch when someone near me raised their hand really quickly. It took me years to believe that I could actually be loved for who I am. It took me years to finally figure OUT who I really am.
The thing is...it would be easy for me to play "victim". He did some unthinkable things to me. However, when I look back on it...it's almost like I'm watching a movie of someone else's life. I am SO blessed that I had so many people who loved me through it. I know a lot of people don't. I just had to get to the point where I could say, "The past is going to remain where it belongs...in the past." I had to make a choice...either let him win...or take my power back. So...I took my power back. I have the usual self esteem issues like most women...but nothing like before. Plus, I finally married a man who tells me 20 times a day (no lie) that I am amazing and beautiful EXACTLY the way I am, and that he feels like the luckiest man alive to call me his wife. :-)
I'm so proud of all of you for stepping up and saying what people have said to you in your lives that affected you. I encourage all of you to make a choice TODAY to not let those nasty people any more power over you. I know...it's much easier said than done...but you are ALL worthy of love...no matter WHAT size, shape, color, ethnicity, religion or anything else!
Sending hugs to each of you! :-)
ETA: I should've mentioned...along the way, a lot of people told me I should get my GED since I left school before I graduated...but once I knew I could do ANYTHING I set my mind to, I went to school at night and got my highschool diploma...plus some college. :-) Take that, jerk! :-)
Wow! you are an awesome woman, just because you were able to get away from the abuser. I've met a few ladies who were letting their boyfriends beat on them, and would wear long sleeves and makeup and whatever else to hide the bruises they received. Whenever anyone told them to get out of that relationship, they would say something like, "Why, the next guy I get with will do the same?" No they won't! If my husband ever struck me I would divorce him in a heartbeat. My husband, like yours tells me multiple times a day how much he loves me, is always complimenting me, and encouraging me. He always brings a smile to my face even on the most stressful days.
My story is lot different, but still similar in the fact I was abused in almost every way possible. To sum up, my parents were horrible and never stuck up for me. My mom was nice and she was very book smart and would help with schoolwork whenever I asked. She also had severe mood swings, she was a thrower and I had to duck and dodge to avoid the dishes or whatever she flung my way. She once threw me up against a metal file cabinet, and dented it with my body, another time, she beat me with a blow drier until my back was so bruised and bloody I couldn't sit up in my desk chair at school for about a week. My dad abused me emotionally, by telling me daily how worthless I was and I should be more like my 'perfect' older brother (we are 18 months apart), he played sports and was active in youth group. My parents also always yelled at each other, and I remember crying myself to sleep at night wishing they'd stop, and just get a divorce like my friends parents did. My brother and I fought so much we had to go to separate schools, they paid for him to go to private school, while I stayed in public school. I was bullied and made fun of at school from K-12 on a regular basis, I only had a few friends and was never popular. Oh, when I was 8 years old I had a slumber party with 12 girl friends at my house, plus my 14 year old neighbor to 'watch' us, so my folks didn't have too. Well my neighbor she molested every single one of us girls that night. Nothing was done about it. I told my parents, they talked to the teen and her parents, whom denied everything. I was yelled at and grounded for making up stories about the 'nice' neighbors. My parents got pregnant again when I was 9, my brother 10, so in 4th grade I became my baby brothers babysitter. I had no choice in the matter, they never made my older brother help. I love my baby brother, but I feel more like a mother than a sister to him. I was so used to being mistreated my entire life, that I was depressed and very suicidal, I had made 3 failed attempts by the age of 16. I became overweight in high school because food was my comfort, and I did not do any extracurricular activities, because I thought whats the point I will just be horrible at it, because nothing I do is good or right. Everything changed when I was 17, I met a good looking boy from a different high school, he was 18 and he talked to me and wanted to get to know me and treated me with respect, kindness, and I didn't know how to cope because he was a true gentleman and I had never met one of those before. He even asked permission to hug me the 1st time, because he "didn't want to overstep boundaries or get kicked in the balls." lol now ain't that sweet. Well long story short we got married 2 years later, he has helped me gain self-esteem, confidence, find my voice, and the list goes on and on. I truly believe If I didn't meet him when I did, I would be dead. So yes, words hurt and can destroy peoples life's. It destroyed mine until I reclaimed it with my help of my wonderful husband.0 -
When I was a teenager, my mom used to tell me that I had better study hard because I wasn't the pretty one.....
I have been called a lot of other things .... but that by far was the worst.
My dad told me I would never graduate high school. By golly I did and I went on to college too.0 -
Pizza Face by a kid in HS, I had bad acne.0
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you're gorgeous 0
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When I was pregnant with my son an older grandma type lady said I looked like a baby whale.0
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honey....... by a really pervy old guy creeping me at work
Look, I'm SORRY, ok?
Hmm... when I was six or so, my mom told me very matter-of-factly that I was mentally retarded, and had inherited the trait from my father. She said this explained our shared inability to do anything right. Neither of us were mentally retarded, in fact.0 -
Oh a few, but karma is such a cruel b_tch, and I've been lucky to watch from the sidelines and watch her do her job to perfection.
Age and success are a beautiful confidence booster0 -
I really never got made fun of all that much, but I will NEVER forget this kid in my grade in elementary called me Mrs. Piggy, that hurt me so bad!0
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A former coworker was talking bad about me and some other coworkers and called us overachievers. I'm not mad that he called me an overachiever. I'm proud that I actually do my best at work. I was upset that he actually saw something bad about being an overachiever. Needless to say, he never got promoted.0
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When I was in middle school I was trying on some shorts for gym and asked my dad how they looked. He said with a disgusted look on his face, "I think you need to lose some weight." He was always mean to me and called me names, but I will never forget that one comment. I was going through puberty and my height hadn't caught up with my weight yet.
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Druggy and that was months after i quit drugs. Obviously it hurt me but oh well! I am winning coz i am almost 2 years clean now so hooray me!
WOO HOO! Great job0 -
I overheard my sister's husband telling her that I have 'an ugly nose and no figure'....in response to her asking 'why can't I be the prettier sister?'. After he had finished slagging me off, she said 'thanks, that's made me feel much better'.
As far as they know, I never heard this conversation. Even though I know it was mostly just to make her feel better, there are plenty of ways that he could have made her feel better without making such hurtful comments about her own sister. Why not tell her how beautiful she is, instead of just saying how ugly I am? It's so messed up!
It was only because he wanted you and can't have you. You are very beautiful. Honestly.0 -
****ty personality. Dumb. Stupid. Dumb-*kitten*. Fat. Sausage. Chubby. Moron. Retard. *****. To name a few.0
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When I was about 14 I had a boy tell me I was a fox from a distance, but a dog close-up. I will never forget that. Wish I could
Similar thing here. I had a boy tell me that I didn't look that big when I was sitting down, but when I got up I was huge! UGH0 -
pregnant-0
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First was when i was in fourth grade, this boy said I looked like a whale and I should work out because I was ugly.
second was in seventh grade, this boy was sitting next to me called me a ugly blob of fat, dumb fat @ss, all my "friends" laughed they thought it was the funniest thing ever. It really hurt.... To this day every time I look in the mirror I just hear all the names I've ever been called.......0 -
Worse thing I've ever been called was a "Nigg**". Still hurts me to this day.0
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1. I was going through the dirty clothes basket and dad said it looked like I was dumpster diving... He then called me a hobo for wearing one semi-clean clothing item again. But he kept saying disgustedly again and again like my future was in the gutter because I did this one thing.
2. I was dressed in work attire to go work with young children and mum comes out with... "you look like the grim reaper", giving me this really judgemental look, informing me that I "will scare the children".
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I have three.
Me: "Hey, Dad? I need some new pants."
Dad: "Well maybe if you weren't so fat you wouldn't need new pants."
Sister: "Yeah! Thunder Thighs!"
Two:
Me: "Oh hey, (insert name here), I haven't seen you in a while!"
Her: -looks me over- "Yeah, long time no see..." -awkward pause- "Are you pregnant...?"
Me: -turns bright red- "Oh..uh...no....I'm not..."
Three:
Sister: "Hey, so-and-so told me to tell you something the other day."
Me: -excited- (I had a crush on this guy) "Really? What?!"
Sister: "He said that maybe if you ran around in that sweater you wear all the time, you'd sweat a lot and not be so fat."
....0 -
"You DO have those big-*kitten* thick thighs" -my sister
"Oink, oink" -step dad
"Lazy, fat ****." (I'm a mom of three and my husband is deployed... yeah, I have time to be real lazy)0 -
I remember being a size 16 in high school. My mom worked there and she told me not to eat lunch because "no one wants to see a fat person eat." Other than that....wide load, tubby, beached whale but the favorite is the comment, "you have such a pretty face, too bad your fat."0
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When I was maybe 9-10, we were at my Aunt's house and I went into her kitchen to get a snack and coming back into the living room where everyone was, my dad told me to put out my arms... I did and asked why, he told me if I kept on eating, I wouldn't be able to fit through the door. I was a very active kid, but I was chubby... I didn't find out until after my Dad passed away that he had very obscure and unrealistic standards of what women should look like.
Now-a-days, I make daily video-blogs on Youtube, I've heard almost every "fat person" insult there is in my video comments.0 -
Late for dinner
beat me too it.0 -
Even though I've lost 15 lbs since I moved into my new house, my mother still calls me pregnant.
She's been calling me pregnant for 3 years now. I'm pretty sure the damn baby would have been born by now! 0 -
The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to death
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes
You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
MercyMe "beautiful"0 -
it amazes me that the OP still remembers the hurt and shame from decades ago. when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you unconditionally, the wound is so much deeper.
my sister, whom i worshipped, was always calling me ugly and stupid. i was in college before i felt like i was the least bit attractive or intelligent, much less loveable.0 -
You know, I actually don't remember the worst thing I've been called. I usually let insults roll right off my back.. That could be part of why I let myself go so far without doing anything about it. Perhaps subconsciously I paid attention, but I can't think of anything right off the top of my head.0
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When I was in high school (I'm not sure how much I weighed since I avoided scales), my dad pulled a one-man intervention: "You know what? You're really fat. You are SO fat."
The words themselves weren't especially cruel, but what got to me was that he seemed to think I needed to hear this very simple fact as if it were some sort of revelation. I mean, I was a 16-year-old girl who watched TV and movies, who read magazines. Almost all of my friends were appropriately svelte. Did he really believe that this was news to me? That at this self-conscious period of my adolescent development, I had just somehow failed to notice that I was fat?
After that, he acted like nothing had happened. I guess my mom had told him how mean he was and he felt bad. What would have been great is if he apologized and maybe offered his support if I wanted to improve my health. Instead, just nothing. I guess that in his mind, maybe he was trying to help. I can kind of appreciate that as an adult, but at the time, it hurt like crazy.
Basically, people need to be thoughtful and understanding when approaching this subject with those they care about if they really want to help.0
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