Do you leash your kid?
Replies
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If by the time your child is walking, and you feel the need to leash them....somethings up! Not necessarily with the child....
My daughter walked at 9.5 months old! Sure, at that age she understood all about road safety!
I guess that's why there are parents, right? To look after the kids and teaching them how to behave.
I must admit reading this thread and all those opinions pro leashing is shocking to me. I was raised always knowing that I'm being respected and treated as a human being, not as a dog. That leashing must cause serious emotional damage to the kids
Why do you call it 'leashing' in the US? We call them reins, and it's like a harness with a kind of loop to hold. Loads of people use them in England, and when I used them with my son I often got stopped by older people and told how nice it was to see a mum looking after her child so well. I have also been stopped and told how nice it was to see me talking to my children when we were out.
We generally use reins from around 18 months to age 2.5, because by then a child understands about road safety. I think we walk more in England than in the US. From where I live we can walk to the seafront, walk to the shops, the supermarket, the station, the park etc. My son was 22 months old when my daughter was born and it's not like I could run fast with a pram to chase my son, or just leave my newborn while I chased him. We get the train a lot and I would never risk having a young child loose on a platform. A age 2.5 he started to be more responsible and better behaved, and he language and understanding were better.
It's unlikely you'd see a child of over 3 on reins, and it's very rare to see a child that age still in a stroller. If a child over 3 is in a stroller you'd get funny looks here, people would think they were special needs or something.
My view is it's far better to let a young child have the freedom to walk using the safety of reins that to keep them trapped on a stroller. That's how they learn about walking outside.
If we're somewhere safe like the seafront I wouldn't use reins, but by a busy road and with a small child, I wouldn't take the risk of having my toddler ran over.
A few people earlier in the thread commented that they kept their kids in a stroller until age 5. No-one seemed to think that was odd. So I kind of figured that must be the norm in the US?0 -
A few people earlier in the thread commented that they kept their kids in a stroller until age 5. No-one seemed to think that was odd. So I kind of figured that must be the norm in the US?
Nope not the norm. My kids were out of strollers by 3, never leashed or reined. Also we walked everywhere as well as that is the norm in NYC.0 -
kids in strollers that age is odd to me; we stopped by the age of 4, and that was only if we were walking more than they could handle. Generally by 3. And we used to call it harnessing, or using a harness. I imagine leashing was started by someone who finds it offensive, and it just stuck.0
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kids in strollers that age is odd to me; we stopped by the age of 4, and that was only if we were walking more than they could handle. Generally by 3. And we used to call it harnessing, or using a harness. I imagine leashing was started by someone who finds it offensive, and it just stuck.
My son pretty much stopped using a stroller by 20 months, and totally stopped by 2.5. My daughter is nearly 2.5 now and still uses it occasionally, but only because I have my son, now 4, to keep an eye on too. When I take the to the seafront for example I put her in the stroller as they take their scooters, and I have my bag with spare clothes etc in it, and I can't hold 2 children's hands and hold 2 scooters at the same time as crossing a busy road.
When my son is at school I use reins for my daughter. Sometimes she refuses to hold my hand. She can be quite naughty at times! Once she has learned to be better behaved, then the reins can go. I'm hoping it won't take her long!0 -
Great post Dawnie.
So good to read a post articulating why they are used rather than these 'its disgusting' outraged posts- with no explanation of why it is disgusting.
They are used quite often here in Australia too and we don't call them leashes either.
Mostly it's those cute backpack ones with a long animal tail which works as the strap. Nothing like a dog collar and leash.
Never heard of kids being traumatised by them and many people use them. I do not get why they would be traumatic at all. Why on earth would they cause serious emotional damage? That is just projecting your own thoughts about them with no logical rationale.
I also don't get these self righteous just teach your kids type posts - using leashes/reins/ harnesses and teaching kids is not mutually exclusive - some kids use a harness while they are learning, I haven't seen them here on kids older than about 3, (unless they have special needs) ; by then, child has been taught about road safety, shopping safety etc and they are no longer required.0 -
^Exactly!0
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If by the time your child is walking, and you feel the need to leash them....somethings up! Not necessarily with the child....
My daughter walked at 9.5 months old! Sure, at that age she understood all about road safety!
I guess that's why there are parents, right? To look after the kids and teaching them how to behave.
I must admit reading this thread and all those opinions pro leashing is shocking to me. I was raised always knowing that I'm being respected and treated as a human being, not as a dog. That leashing must cause serious emotional damage to the kids
LOL
they've been used in the UK for decades (except they're called reins, because they don't go around the child's neck) -not only did my mum put me in reins as a toddler, if I threw a tantrum in a shop she picked me up by the back of the harness (which goes around the child's chest) and carried me out of the shop so I could calm down somewhere quiet.
Guess what.... no emotional damage. in fact I probably learned not to throw tantrums in shops a lot more quickly. And no emotional damage to the millions of other British kids whose parents used reins when they were toddlers, where they have been used for decades. It's normal in the UK because our pavements (sidewalks) tend to be narrow, so it only takes a second for a kid to end up under the wheels of a car.
BTW holding a kid's hand probably does work 99% of the time. But what about the 1% of the time they get away? What if you're next to a busy road? You'd seriously put your imagined emotional damage (which there's no evidence for whatsoever) ahead of a child's actual, real, physical safety? You'd walk a 1 year old child down a busy British street just a metre away from traffic, and think that your reaction time if they slip their hand out of yours, is goodenough to stop them getting killed? It only takes a second, and it also takes a second for your brain to process what's going on, and by then it could be too late. And yes, this happens, or did you miss the post from the lady in this thread who posted about that happening to a little girl in her neighbourhood?
Also, if you are trying to stop a child from running away from you, reins are safer than hand holding. Forcibly holding a small child's hand while they try to run away can actually result in the child's elbow being dislocated (their little baby joints are not very strong). That happened to a child I know, and it wouldn't have happened if said child had been on reins when they made a dash for it, because with reins, the force is spread over a wide area of the torso, which is a much stronger part of their body that their arm. If you're restraining a toddler by their arm, that's a huge force on their elbow and shoulder, and the elbow is the weaker of the two (although if there have been cases of dislocated shoulders from this, I wouldn't be surprised at all). Toddlers do not know their limits, they have no sense of danger at all. They will try to run away fast enough, or throw themselves on the ground hard enough to dislocate their elbow if you hold their hand tight enough to stop them. Or, if they manage to slip your grip rather than their bones being dislocated, then they slip your grip and could run into traffic of some other danger.
It really amazes me how much hatred some Americans have for something that is purely for a child's safety. And toddlers really couldn't give a rat's hairy behind whether dogs have leashes (which look nothing at all like a child's reins) or not. They're too young to be humiliated by anything like that. The fact you even think that they would be shows how little you actually know about toddlers. You seem to expect them to be able to just learn to walk and be like mini adults, which isn't what happens. You're shocked by people being in favour of safety devices that stop kids from being killed by cars. I'm shocked that anyone would be against something that could save a child's life....0 -
Many years ago, I had to fly with my 2 sons (baby and toddler) alone for very long distances (Alaska to the lower 48 - I'm American, btw.)
Until you've tried lugging a baby, diaper bag, stroller, toddler, and small suitcase for for hour after hour through multiple huge air ports by yourself, I suggest you suspend your judgement about what works for other people.
Call it a leash, restraint, hand-holder or torture device... I don't care.
My priority was to keep my children safe and to make my flights.
Both sons are now alive, well-adjusted and productive members of society.
Mission accomplished.0 -
I take it you don't have children? Let's hope you never do. Discipline a 18 moth old & see where that gets you.
It's got nothing to do with that at all.
Lol please...are you forgetting (like the last person)...I also said "or lack of attention" pertaining to the adult? Obviously you can't show and imbed the major no-no's like walking away from mommy to an 18 month old child.
To say that's "got nothing to do with it" is naive and it's exactly why kids run off and don't know any better as they get older and are able to walk and wander.0 -
We use the harness/leashes on our children. I saw parents using them when I was a kid and always said I would NEVER leash my children. Then I had a surprise pregnancy resulting in a 15 month old and a newborn. You try nursing while walking around and holding the hand of a 2 foot tall 15 months old. Not that easy. Now that they are older we only use them in very crowded places to ensure their safety (zoos, airports, etc). They have cute monkey and dog backpack harnesses that have the tail as the leash, we wrap it around our wrists, but still hold their hand. That way if someone tries to snatch them or they have a momentary lapse of judgment and run after something that catches their eye they are not lost. Honestly when people say "My children are not dogs" my reaction is... Exactly. Dogs can be taught not to run off as well, but we keep them on a leash for their safety. My children are a hell of a lot more important to me than a dog why would I not protect them as well?0
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If snowflake parents cant watch their kids without a leash, it is a wonder the human race has survived.0
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My little brats love to tug and pull when they see something that excites them.....I usually use my dogs choke collar sometimes I use the one that I can zap them with too0
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Many years ago, I had to fly with my 2 sons (baby and toddler) alone for very long distances (Alaska to the lower 48 - I'm American, btw.)
Until you've tried lugging a baby, diaper bag, stroller, toddler, and small suitcase for for hour after hour through multiple huge air ports by yourself, I suggest you suspend your judgement about what works for other people.
Call it a leash, restraint, hand-holder or torture device... I don't care.
My priority was to keep my children safe and to make my flights.
Both sons are now alive, well-adjusted and productive members of society.
Mission accomplished.
God yes. Just traveled IN to GA, then GA to SC to IN. Luckily the return trip my husband was with me, but the trip to GA I had my 3 year old and 4 year old, a carry on suitcase, laptop bag, child size duffel for my son, beach bag for my daughter, my son's Graco MySize65, and my daughter's Graco Nautilus. All of which I had to get through both airports on my own. Had I not had the harnesses I could not have physically been able to hold on to my children unless I sprouted several more arms.0 -
If by the time your child is walking, and you feel the need to leash them....somethings up! Not necessarily with the child....
My daughter walked at 9.5 months old! Sure, at that age she understood all about road safety!
I guess that's why there are parents, right? To look after the kids and teaching them how to behave.
I must admit reading this thread and all those opinions pro leashing is shocking to me. I was raised always knowing that I'm being respected and treated as a human being, not as a dog. That leashing must cause serious emotional damage to the kids
LOL
they've been used in the UK for decades (except they're called reins, because they don't go around the child's neck) -not only did my mum put me in reins as a toddler, if I threw a tantrum in a shop she picked me up by the back of the harness (which goes around the child's chest) and carried me out of the shop so I could calm down somewhere quiet.
Guess what.... no emotional damage. in fact I probably learned not to throw tantrums in shops a lot more quickly. And no emotional damage to the millions of other British kids whose parents used reins when they were toddlers, where they have been used for decades. It's normal in the UK because our pavements (sidewalks) tend to be narrow, so it only takes a second for a kid to end up under the wheels of a car.
BTW holding a kid's hand probably does work 99% of the time. But what about the 1% of the time they get away? What if you're next to a busy road? You'd seriously put your imagined emotional damage (which there's no evidence for whatsoever) ahead of a child's actual, real, physical safety? You'd walk a 1 year old child down a busy British street just a metre away from traffic, and think that your reaction time if they slip their hand out of yours, is goodenough to stop them getting killed? It only takes a second, and it also takes a second for your brain to process what's going on, and by then it could be too late. And yes, this happens, or did you miss the post from the lady in this thread who posted about that happening to a little girl in her neighbourhood?
Also, if you are trying to stop a child from running away from you, reins are safer than hand holding. Forcibly holding a small child's hand while they try to run away can actually result in the child's elbow being dislocated (their little baby joints are not very strong). That happened to a child I know, and it wouldn't have happened if said child had been on reins when they made a dash for it, because with reins, the force is spread over a wide area of the torso, which is a much stronger part of their body that their arm. If you're restraining a toddler by their arm, that's a huge force on their elbow and shoulder, and the elbow is the weaker of the two (although if there have been cases of dislocated shoulders from this, I wouldn't be surprised at all). Toddlers do not know their limits, they have no sense of danger at all. They will try to run away fast enough, or throw themselves on the ground hard enough to dislocate their elbow if you hold their hand tight enough to stop them. Or, if they manage to slip your grip rather than their bones being dislocated, then they slip your grip and could run into traffic of some other danger.
It really amazes me how much hatred some Americans have for something that is purely for a child's safety. And toddlers really couldn't give a rat's hairy behind whether dogs have leashes (which look nothing at all like a child's reins) or not. They're too young to be humiliated by anything like that. The fact you even think that they would be shows how little you actually know about toddlers. You seem to expect them to be able to just learn to walk and be like mini adults, which isn't what happens. You're shocked by people being in favour of safety devices that stop kids from being killed by cars. I'm shocked that anyone would be against something that could save a child's life....
I'm not an American to start with, I live in Europe. And no, I've never seen a child on a leash or whatever you call it.
I don't have any kids yet but I have plenty experience with kids, including taking care of my bf's kids. They're pretty crazy little girls but I've never thought of leashing them, just asking them to behave, explaining them that it's important to pay attention and act like ladies they're. They just simply hold my hands on streets and walk by me, no leash needed.
I thought this thread was a joke at first.0 -
I'm not an American to start with, I live in Europe. And no, I've never seen a child on a leash or whatever you call it.
I don't have any kids yet but I have plenty experience with kids, including taking care of my bf's kids. They're pretty crazy little girls but I've never thought of leashing them, just asking them to behave, explaining them that it's important to pay attention and act like ladies they're. They just simply hold my hands on streets and walk by me, no leash needed.
I thought this thread was a joke
If a child is capable of understanding the concept of "acting like a lady", then the child is obviously beyond the age of restraint being a real issue.
Babysitting for older children is to parenthood as a prom date is to marriage.0 -
Many years ago, I had to fly with my 2 sons (baby and toddler) alone for very long distances (Alaska to the lower 48 - I'm American, btw.)
Until you've tried lugging a baby, diaper bag, stroller, toddler, and small suitcase for for hour after hour through multiple huge air ports by yourself, I suggest you suspend your judgement about what works for other people.
Call it a leash, restraint, hand-holder or torture device... I don't care.
My priority was to keep my children safe and to make my flights.
Both sons are now alive, well-adjusted and productive members of society.
Mission accomplished.
God yes. Just traveled IN to GA, then GA to SC to IN. Luckily the return trip my husband was with me, but the trip to GA I had my 3 year old and 4 year old, a carry on suitcase, laptop bag, child size duffel for my son, beach bag for my daughter, my son's Graco MySize65, and my daughter's Graco Nautilus. All of which I had to get through both airports on my own. Had I not had the harnesses I could not have physically been able to hold on to my children unless I sprouted several more arms.
Oh my!! I hope your fellow passengers and the crew were helpful!!!0 -
I have to laugh at patents who get offended at a child leash but then strap their kids down to a chair with wheels ( ie a stroller)0
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i dont leash mine.
but now thati think about it. one of my brothers growing up probably could have used one.we would go to the store and youd have a hand on the back of his neck then youd hear a noise, look away , one second later youd look back at you hand where he was and you were holding a stick instead. Modern day Houdini.0 -
Many years ago, I had to fly with my 2 sons (baby and toddler) alone for very long distances (Alaska to the lower 48 - I'm American, btw.)
Until you've tried lugging a baby, diaper bag, stroller, toddler, and small suitcase for for hour after hour through multiple huge air ports by yourself, I suggest you suspend your judgement about what works for other people.
Call it a leash, restraint, hand-holder or torture device... I don't care.
My priority was to keep my children safe and to make my flights.
Both sons are now alive, well-adjusted and productive members of society.
Mission accomplished.
God yes. Just traveled IN to GA, then GA to SC to IN. Luckily the return trip my husband was with me, but the trip to GA I had my 3 year old and 4 year old, a carry on suitcase, laptop bag, child size duffel for my son, beach bag for my daughter, my son's Graco MySize65, and my daughter's Graco Nautilus. All of which I had to get through both airports on my own. Had I not had the harnesses I could not have physically been able to hold on to my children unless I sprouted several more arms.
Oh my!! I hope your fellow passengers and the crew were helpful!!!
None of the crew or staff at the airports were helpful in the slightest. There was one man (who had been sitting next to us on the plane) who carried one of the car seats for me when we arrived in Atlanta because the staff refused to bring me a cart or anything. My daughter and I told him he was our hero of the day.0 -
Many years ago, I had to fly with my 2 sons (baby and toddler) alone for very long distances (Alaska to the lower 48 - I'm American, btw.)
Until you've tried lugging a baby, diaper bag, stroller, toddler, and small suitcase for for hour after hour through multiple huge air ports by yourself, I suggest you suspend your judgement about what works for other people.
Call it a leash, restraint, hand-holder or torture device... I don't care.
My priority was to keep my children safe and to make my flights.
Both sons are now alive, well-adjusted and productive members of society.
Mission accomplished.
God yes. Just traveled IN to GA, then GA to SC to IN. Luckily the return trip my husband was with me, but the trip to GA I had my 3 year old and 4 year old, a carry on suitcase, laptop bag, child size duffel for my son, beach bag for my daughter, my son's Graco MySize65, and my daughter's Graco Nautilus. All of which I had to get through both airports on my own. Had I not had the harnesses I could not have physically been able to hold on to my children unless I sprouted several more arms.
Oh my!! I hope your fellow passengers and the crew were helpful!!!
None of the crew or staff at the airports were helpful in the slightest. There was one man (who had been sitting next to us on the plane) who carried one of the car seats for me when we arrived in Atlanta because the staff refused to bring me a cart or anything. My daughter and I told him he was our hero of the day.
I'm glad you found one! Yeah, I find it strange that people are much faster to judge than to assist.0 -
Ha! Yep, I had one of those!i dont leash mine.
but now thati think about it. one of my brothers growing up probably could have used one.we would go to the store and youd have a hand on the back of his neck then youd hear a noise, look away , one second later youd look back at you hand where he was and you were holding a stick instead. Modern day Houdini.0 -
I leash anything that moves :smokin:0
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I'm not an American to start with, I live in Europe. And no, I've never seen a child on a leash or whatever you call it.
I don't have any kids yet but I have plenty experience with kids, including taking care of my bf's kids. They're pretty crazy little girls but I've never thought of leashing them, just asking them to behave, explaining them that it's important to pay attention and act like ladies they're. They just simply hold my hands on streets and walk by me, no leash needed.
I thought this thread was a joke
If a child is capable of understanding the concept of "acting like a lady", then the child is obviously beyond the age of restraint being a real issue.
Babysitting for older children is to parenthood as a prom date is to marriage.
They're 3 and 5. And yes, they can act crazy but not in public places. Because they're raised well and know their manners. Obviously, can't take credit for that, I'm not their mother. But they don't create me any problems when living with us.0 -
I leash anything that moves :smokin:
Hi there. Wanna get leashed?
I'll baby you, lol. 0 -
I leash anything that moves :smokin:
Hi there. Wanna get leashed? I'll baby you, lol.
If you can beat me in arm wrestling.....if not...dog collar for you :devil:0 -
I'm not an American to start with, I live in Europe. And no, I've never seen a child on a leash or whatever you call it.
I don't have any kids yet but I have plenty experience with kids, including taking care of my bf's kids. They're pretty crazy little girls but I've never thought of leashing them, just asking them to behave, explaining them that it's important to pay attention and act like ladies they're. They just simply hold my hands on streets and walk by me, no leash needed.
I thought this thread was a joke
If a child is capable of understanding the concept of "acting like a lady", then the child is obviously beyond the age of restraint being a real issue.
Babysitting for older children is to parenthood as a prom date is to marriage.
They're 3 and 5. And yes, they can act crazy but not in public places. Because they're raised well and know their manners. Obviously, can't take credit for that, I'm not their mother. But they don't create me any problems when living with us.
Sounds like you're continuing what their mom started. Kudos :-)0 -
I love when people leash their kids, especially at amusement parks....I immediately snap a pic and mock them on FB.
I have 2 young ones, never used a leash, everyone still alive. :flowerforyou:
I had 3 kids, all still alive and I didn't use leashes either but I don't award myself a medal for that or have any objections to those who do use them.
Any more than any other item or technique which I happened not to use but which worked for others.
I hope your first sentence isn't serious - that really would be quite pathetic.
Oh, I'm serious.... :bigsmile:0 -
One thing I notice that there are those on here that are very willing to judge someone's parenting skills because they have used a harness. There seems to be some on here that are quick to blame the parents for lack of training or just pure laziness.
I liked to think in most cases those parents are trying to keep their kids safe in a difficult situation and have their children's best interest at heart. I know from experience that I'd much rather have my daughter on a harness then in front of a car and she is the sort of child that even with 3 adults watching her can disappear in seconds.
Those who take pictures and post them on Facebook - how do you know that the child is not special needs. My autistic son used to have a wrist strap till he was 7 and he was the one wanting it as it made him feel more secure.0 -
I don't think it's anyone else's business how parents raise their kids. I don't have kids, but if I had one who was prone to dashing off I sure as hell would use a leash, and I wouldn't care what the kid, or anybody else, thought.0
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I love when people leash their kids, especially at amusement parks....I immediately snap a pic and mock them on FB.
I have 2 young ones, never used a leash, everyone still alive. :flowerforyou:
I had 3 kids, all still alive and I didn't use leashes either but I don't award myself a medal for that or have any objections to those who do use them.
Any more than any other item or technique which I happened not to use but which worked for others.
I hope your first sentence isn't serious - that really would be quite pathetic.
Oh, I'm serious.... :bigsmile:
Who's watching your kids while you're on your phone? :glasses:0
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