Keyboard Warriors

Happymelz

So...how about when people are asking for help DON'T berate them or call them liars just because their food diary doesn't look like yours and they are doing things DIFFERENTLY.

There are MANY ways to get the job done. If people are asking for help in SPECIFIC areas, don't leave comments berating their slow progress because they are doing it differently.

We are all here supposedly for the same reason. To be healthy.

We don't know each person's history...or personal struggles/issues that can interfere with weight loss.

Just because TODAY you are more motivated and handling it...doesn't mean you are perfect either.

brower47

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

Mokey41

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

^^^ This. It doesn't solve a problem to just have everyone hold your hand and tell you that you must be special.

Hildy_J

If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum.

Are 'honesty' and 'motivational handholding' mutually exclusive?

Wetcoaster

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

Spot bang on.

SezxyStef

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

Spot bang on.

x3

Hildy_J

Anyone?

Is it an 'either or', really? So people can EITHER have friendly, polite, encouraging replies OR honest feedback. They can't have both? Why?

Pearsquared

It's the internet - can't avoid it. I had my food diary berated one time when I had started the thread in the "success stories" forum and wasn't even asking for advice. xD

Hildy_J

It's the internet - can't avoid it. I had my food diary berated one time when I had started the thread in the "success stories" forum and wasn't even asking for advice. xD

S'nothing. Did you see the 'avocado death threat' thread earlier? :bigsmile:

SezxyStef

Anyone?

Is it an 'either or', really? So people can EITHER have friendly, polite, encouraging replies OR honest feedback. They can't have both? Why?

What is impolite about pointing out the errors in their method(IE not logging consitently, using HRM without a chest strap, not using a kitchen scale) in a matter of fact way or telling them they are eating more then they think beause they "eyeball" portions???? This happens often and then the OP gets defensive and mean because they are being called out on somethign they don't even want to admit to themselves.

JoRocka

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

god thank you.

saved me the effort. LOL

we ARE trying to help- but it's really hard to help people who are deluding themselves. Seriously.

Pearsquared

It's the internet - can't avoid it. I had my food diary berated one time when I had started the thread in the "success stories" forum and wasn't even asking for advice. xD

S'nothing. Did you see the 'avocado death threat' thread earlier? :bigsmile:

I'm a sucker for some good MFP drama. Did it get deleted already? xD

randomtai

We are all here supposedly for the same reason.

No we are not. :flowerforyou:

Pearsquared

We are all here supposedly for the same reason.

No we are not. :flowerforyou:

Seriously. I came here for tacos and all I got was this silly ticker. I put a pokemon in it.

LiftAllThePizzas

So...how about when people are asking for help DON'T berate them or call them liars just because their food diary doesn't look like yours and they are doing things DIFFERENTLY.

There are MANY ways to get the job done. If people are asking for help in SPECIFIC areas, don't leave comments berating their slow progress because they are doing it differently.

We are all here supposedly for the same reason. To be healthy.

We don't know each person's history...or personal struggles/issues that can interfere with weight loss.

Just because TODAY you are more motivated and handling it...doesn't mean you are perfect either.

Stop telling people what to do.

awtume9

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

Touche.

Dangit I don't know how to put the little accent over the 'e'. Oh well, you get the idea.

silenceinspace

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

Cranquistador

LiftAllThePizzas

If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum.

Are 'honesty' and 'motivational handholding' mutually exclusive?

Considering the fact that almost every thread you post in ends up getting locked, I hardly think you're in a position to tell other people how they should or shouldn't phrase their help or advice.

SezxyStef

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

It's not like we say things like "just stay fat"

ZoeLifts

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

TheSlorax

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

TIL I'm hella immature... that is my favorite thing to say to someone when they trip.

eta: any other connotations in the above sentence are purely coincidental, however I am going to roll with it. :smokin:

jofjltncb6

We are all here supposedly for the same reason.

No we are not. :flowerforyou:

Seriously. I came here for tacos and all I got was this silly ticker. I put a pokemon in it.

Good choice.

perfect_storm

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

I agree, if you are asking for help you should be prepared to get honesty being honest can still be supportive.

jofjltncb6

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

It's not like we say things like "just stay fat"

Have you even read the book? Don't knock it if you haven't.

PikaKnight

Alternative hypothesis:

How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

cmcollins001

Achrya

I'm the last person anyone should ever ask about positive support. I don't even know how to apply those words to real life.


:smokin:

SezxyStef

If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum.

Are 'honesty' and 'motivational handholding' mutually exclusive?

Considering the fact that almost every thread you post in ends up getting locked, I hardly think you're in a position to tell other people how they should or shouldn't phrase their help or advice.

Yeah... but can you answer my question. It's just a question.

I did...did you answer my question?

SezxyStef

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

It's not like we say things like "just stay fat"

Have you even read the book? Don't knock it if you haven't.

no not yet...I will get right on that.:drinker:

TheSlorax

I just saw this and was kind of upset about it. Like I said in that thread, giving a different opinion can be done in different ways. Sarcastically saying to someone, "Have a nice trip. See you next fall" is purposely being immature and expecting that person to fail. If MFP's community is about support (and it is, or it should be), then maybe everyone should grow up a little.

It's not like we say things like "just stay fat"

The mods delete your posts if you tell people to just stay fat.

Ask me how I know.

now I'm going to start saying just break up.... with the idea of ever being not fat. is that more positive and/or supportive?

I'm the last person anyone should ever ask about positive support. I don't even know how to apply those words to real life.


:smokin:

I can't even answer questions about supportive bras. from MFP I have learned this is because I am "pear shaped." I believe I even used the correct type of fruit there.