Keyboard Warriors

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  • nena49659
    nena49659 Posts: 260 Member
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    If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum.

    Are 'honesty' and 'motivational handholding' mutually exclusive?

    They are when the recipients claim they want honesty but really only want validation for some cockamamie plan and view all honesty (either tactful or blunt) as non-supportive, trolling or bullying.

    Truth is truth, it doesn't have to be 'the brutal truth'. My main concern is that this environment, for whatever reason, is not inclusive. That is not a good thing.

    As you can see by this post, it's all a joke.

    Edited to say: Sorry, not this post...this thread.
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    I'm so sick of these sort of threads. Just log of if you don't like it here. This is the best site ever and there are very few on here that aren't here to honestly help others, not our fault if people don't like the truth.

    false.

    http://dailycatgif.com
  • afat12
    afat12 Posts: 178 Member
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    You can give honest feedback without being condescending or rude... That being said, I think most people here have good intentions and are trying to be helpful :smile:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    I'm so sick of these sort of threads. Just log of if you don't like it here. This is the best site ever and there are very few on here that aren't here to honestly help others, not our fault if people don't like the truth.

    YEAH!

    tumblr_m22h38nfIa1rsk72no1_500.gif
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Anyone?

    Is it an 'either or', really? So people can EITHER have friendly, polite, encouraging replies OR honest feedback. They can't have both? Why?

    Because it's the internet? :grumble:

    There really is no reason that honest feedback has to be rude. And a lot of it here on MFP, frankly, is pretty rude. It's one thing to go Keyboard Nuke on a clown in the 19th sequel of a Paleo or CrossFit (or whatever) thread, it's another when it's clearly a person in some distress who equally clearly doesn't understand why things have gone off the rails.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Failure to plan on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

    It's easy, track calorie intake, exercise, be patient. Consume less energy than you expend, your body burns the reserves. Now, what exactly are people needing help with again?

    Wait, wait, wait...how do I jump start the loss again???
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    You can give honest feedback without being condescending or rude... That being said, I think most people here have good intentions and are trying to be helpful :smile:

    You can give honest advice with being condescending or rude. You have no idea if I'm able to do the same and it's mighty rude for you to just assume I'm not condescending and/or rude all the time. Maybe that's just my nature.
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
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    Alternative hypothesis:

    How about, when people ask for help, they accept all forms of advice and critique without perceiving it as being attacked. It's almost always the case as I've seen it here on these boards. If people don't want honest feedback that could potentially be something less than purely motivational handholding, then they shouldn't ask for advice in a public forum. People will try to get at the root of the problem in the spirit of helping. That means making sure that the asker is being honest with themselves. If someone isn't losing weight, there's a reason. It's either medical or personal accountability (usually unintentional). Which one do you think is more often the case?

    If people just get coddled in the face of trying to discover the problem, that problem may never get solved and the asker will continue to either make no progress or just give up.

    I'd rather people dig for the reason I'm messing up instead of just giving me a placating pat on the back.

    I love it when the first response is so good that the rest of the thread becomes extraneous.
  • Hauntinglyfit
    Hauntinglyfit Posts: 5,537 Member
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    OP, you are obviously a bottom heavy hourglass. Don't let anyone call you a pear. Good luck on your journey.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    You can give honest feedback without being condescending or rude... That being said, I think most people here have good intentions and are trying to be helpful :smile:

    Agree 100%. As for the others... there seems to be less of them than there was. Things are finally improving! :bigsmile:
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
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    So...how about when people are asking for help DON'T berate them or call them liars just because their food diary doesn't look like yours and they are doing things DIFFERENTLY.

    There are MANY ways to get the job done. If people are asking for help in SPECIFIC areas, don't leave comments berating their slow progress because they are doing it differently.

    We are all here supposedly for the same reason. To be healthy.

    We don't know each person's history...or personal struggles/issues that can interfere with weight loss.

    Just because TODAY you are more motivated and handling it...doesn't mean you are perfect either.

    How about we STOP using CAPITALS in random SPOTS to try to MAKE a POINT.

    agREEd!
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    is there cake here?

    No, but I'm about to go buy an ice cream cake. You want me to save you some?
    YYESSSSSSSSS
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
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    is there cake here?

    No, but I'm about to go buy an ice cream cake. You want me to save you some?
    YYESSSSSSSSS
    I HOPE you have ENOUGH for EVERYone. :love:
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    is there cake here?

    No, but I'm about to go buy an ice cream cake. You want me to save you some?
    YYESSSSSSSSS
    I HOPE you have ENOUGH for EVERYone. :love:

    l.jpg

    The medium ROUND is supposed to SERVE 10. I figure THAT means me, Cranq, and TWO to four other PEOPLE.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    Failure to plan on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

    It's easy, track calorie intake, exercise, be patient. Consume less energy than you expend, your body burns the reserves. Now, what exactly are people needing help with again?

    Wait, wait, wait...how do I jump start the loss again???

    NipplesWithJumperCables.jpg
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
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    WAT
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
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    WAT

    lower case in the image tags ....
  • Keep_The_Laughter
    Keep_The_Laughter Posts: 183 Member
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    Usually, it's because when someone offers honest advice, or asks for more information, the OP will get defensive and attack, resulting in the person trying to help getting defensive and snarky, and it perpetuates until a thread like this, or a "Mean bullying" thread is generated. Those threads then generate a large number of parody threads, and then my head explodes because of the derp level.

    ^^^This.^^^

    There are keyboard gangsters, e-thugs and trolls starting threads and responding to them. Realistically, people not looking one another in the face can be a bit lax in the area of basic manners. The questionable approach to communication is bolstered by the attitude..."oh well it's the internet." I find it easiest to move on to things that are more positive in my view.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
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    Some people are sweet like bear meat, and others are just naturally sugar free.

    tumblr_l2tpx30hvB1qz92vfo1_500.png
  • Wetcoaster
    Wetcoaster Posts: 1,788 Member
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    This is probably the tamest forum I have ever been a part of actually.


    This thread needs bacon though......cause bacon is awesome.
This discussion has been closed.