Skipping Thanksgiving

13

Replies

  • bookwormer28
    bookwormer28 Posts: 16 Member
    I totally understand what you are saying. You should be able to say to your family, hey guys, I'm not going to make it this year. But honestly, they would not understand. I told my husband I didn't want to cook this year at all. He looked at me like I had three heads. But I normally cook at least three meats, four or five sides, and three or four veggies and cornbread. Then we eat off it for days. So it's not like you will eat on Thanksgiving and call it a day. I start cooking on Monday and cook all the way up to Thanksgiving morning. I make everything homemade (lots of butter and milk). I don't want to do that this year. I'm all for going to someone else's house and eat for one day.
  • rosemary98
    rosemary98 Posts: 632
    someone always ends up crying at my family holidays. it seem that it bring up old wounds. food fuels the fire.
  • rosemary98
    rosemary98 Posts: 632
    I totally understand what you are saying. You should be able to say to your family, hey guys, I'm not going to make it this year. But honestly, they would not understand. I told my husband I didn't want to cook this year at all. He looked at me like I had three heads. But I normally cook at least three meats, four or five sides, and three or four veggies and cornbread. Then we eat off it for days. So it's not like you will eat on Thanksgiving and call it a day. I start cooking on Monday and cook all the way up to Thanksgiving morning. I make everything homemade (lots of butter and milk). I don't want to do that this year. I'm all for going to someone else's house and eat for one day.

    better yet, a restaurant!
  • Jasmine_James
    Jasmine_James Posts: 188 Member
    We love our families, but we loathe family get-togethers. Everyone on both sides has accepted the fact that it's really important to us to live a low-stress, low-drama life. Some Thanksgivings we join one of our families for dinner -- but many years we just say we're wanting something low-key and spending it by ourselves.

    This year we are going to Aspen for two nights and enjoying some fine dining for Thanksgiving dinner.

    They are all happy for us and totally understanding.

    I say, just express what you want/need and if they are a supportive family they'll accept it and thankful to have such open lines of communication that you were able to tell them how you felt.
  • britfout
    britfout Posts: 86 Member
    This is why i'm glad i'm vegan in a non-vegan family, i'm bringing all my own food portioned out and calories counted! Too easy!
  • yustick
    yustick Posts: 238 Member
    I know how you feel. I feel the same, really. I HAVE to host and daily I think how much I just want to get out of it. Ugh, the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking...it's just too much. I don't know why I'm unsentimental and don't really cherish these moments. But I will tell you what I keep saying to myself...

    Suck it up. Your family deserves to feel like they are welcome,special and loved and you will make that happen.

    Happy Holidays!
  • Unknown
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  • MommyisFit
    MommyisFit Posts: 139 Member
    I don't see anything wrong with staying home and doing what you want for the day. I always stay home on Thanksgiving and spend the day with my husband and children. I make a small meal. My family is always welcome here and sometimes they do come. Most other times everyone enjoys it with their immediate families.

    My family is huge and there is an event or two every month that we get together. It is really nice to have a holiday that we relax here.
  • Chain_Ring
    Chain_Ring Posts: 753 Member
    I feel you.
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    I don't think there's been much of a "Thanksgiving" since I was a kid, but I do remember going with my boyfriend's family when I was 17. That's a story for another nightmare.

    Otherwise, I took to either an early Subway dinner or having deli turkey in the house. Can't stand my family.
  • WestCoastJo82
    WestCoastJo82 Posts: 2,304 Member
    I want to hang out with UpEarly this Thanksgiving!
    I say it's your day off, do what you want. I'm not one for family obligations though - if guilt was the only reason someone was seeing me, I'd rather not have them see me.
  • GOINSTD12
    GOINSTD12 Posts: 331 Member
    My husband's family has a huge get-together on Thanksgiving and again on Christmas. I love them to pieces and am really disappointed when I can't go, because they really know how to party. There's always lots of music, dancing, conversation and laughter. And oh yes, FOOD.
    The thing is, if you take the time to visit with all your family members, you won't have much time for eating. If the weather is good, go for a walk before dinner, or go out and play with the kids.
    Also, if you limit yourself to the vegetable dishes and ONLY white meat, leave off the gravies, potatoes, and pies (oh my!), you'll come out a lot better on the meal. And, ONLY ONE TRIP to the food trough!
    Like so many other people have said, you only get your family for a limited time. Treasure the opportunities to get together, and make the most of them. Don't make them about food, don't let food control you.
  • happieharpie
    happieharpie Posts: 229 Member
    I'm the hostess and the cook, so I will be doing lots of gorgeous veggies, sugar free cranberry sauce, turkey, and sugar free pumpkin pie.

    I will avoid Auntie Alice's famous brownies and the turkey dressing.

    Works for me!
  • michellemybelll
    michellemybelll Posts: 2,228 Member
    i am NOT a fan of any of the big holidays. My detest for Thanksgiving is trumped only by that of Christmas. If I could, i would totally duck out and spend both thanksgiving and xmas curled up in bed with a book, a blanket, and some wine. alone. or, perhaps in the company of one select individual.

    i love my family to no end, but i despise the forced nature of these commercial holidays.

    what i really wish i could do is go vacation somewhere from nov. 22 through the new year. man. that would be perfect.
  • ElBence
    ElBence Posts: 291 Member
    I'm on the other side of this debate. I'm going to stuff my face until I can't walk and fall into a significant food coma.
  • littleburgy
    littleburgy Posts: 570 Member
    My family doesn't push food on me, but my in-laws do, BIG TIME.

    But I've learned to avoid this by filling the plate and eating slowly. If the plate got empty before meal's end another portion gets heaped on, so I learned a slow steady pace lets me eat a hearty amount but not get stuffed alive. :)
  • Spaghetti_Bender
    Spaghetti_Bender Posts: 509 Member
    I'm going to do cardio Thanksgiving morning, and then proceed to go full beast mode once the food comes out. Then watch football, and take a nap while doing so.........................................................and like it!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    You could just eat the food and get over it. How on earth is one day going to ruin you?
  • KnitSewSpin
    KnitSewSpin Posts: 147 Member
    I also have a few cheat meals a month and Thanksgiving will definitely be one of those days! I'm hosting at my house this year :)
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    i cant tell if this is a food thing or a family thing.

    if its a food thing, get over it. 1 day aint gonna kill ya.

    if its a family thing...eh, i kinda get it. there have been years where ive thought to myself "man i'd much rather just not drive an hour. i'd really enjoy just staying home with my wife and kid and relaxing doing what we do."

    but 99% of the time....we go.
    we go because my in-laws love it.
    we go because our son loves it.
    we go because it's good to spend holidays with loved ones and laugh and smile and make memories.

    take your book, stuff your face, enjoy the day, and leave early.
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    hubby and I usually go out to eat. My adult kids had so many places to go so we let them off the hook and said we would just get together Christmas. Now I kind of enjoy it. No cooking, no leftovers. Sometimes my son comes up and if he does we go out to eat. If he wants to fine, if not fine. More relaxing this way. I agree, all those leftovers is too tempting, give them away or freeze them if you don't go out! We don't have those big thanksgiving meals like on tv, I see others don't either, we have a small family.
  • lngrunert
    lngrunert Posts: 204 Member
    I live 800 miles from my family, and 600 from my in-laws. Thanksgiving dinner is usually me making a fairly massive feast for me, my husband and daughter. It is freaking bliss! I get to spend the day doing something I love (cooking) for the two most important people in my life. I'm an only child and have never cared much for large family get-togethers, so I'm glad there's no pressure for us to attend one.
  • kkerri
    kkerri Posts: 276 Member
    Family holiday meals are my favorite times of the year. Cherish these times while you still have your family to attend these events.

    Agree. I am praying for two to be out of the hospital. Food has little to do with it.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    I just don't know how to get my point across to my highly sentimental relatives that I'm just not all that into stuffing my face this year. Food = Love in my family.

    Nightmare scenario. Yes, I think a bout of the flu is the answer to this one. :wink:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    Love doesn't ask you to do things you are uncomfortable with doing. Maybe rethink your definition.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
    Love doesn't ask you to do things you are uncomfortable with doing. Maybe rethink your definition.

    Nail on head. Love is acceptance - not food.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    My family always gets together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and at a few random times throughout the year for BBQs or parties. We lost one of my brothers earlier this month, very suddenly, just a few months after a cancer diagnosis. I'm so grateful for all the times we got to spend together, but it was never enough.
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    Be grateful that you have family close enough to see. Isn't that what Thanksgiving is about? Being thankful for all you have?

    I would give anything to see my family over the holidays, but they're states away.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
    I get to work 18 hours on Thanksgiving. Hope you enjoy your "quiet evening at home." :flowerforyou:

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