Wedding Ring Debate

sullus

I wear 2 rings; a standard wedding ring on my left hand, and a claddagh on my right. For a couple years, I wore neither, because they didn't fit. Well, I lost enough weight to start wearing them again, but then something happened; I kept losing weight and now they are too big. They were spinning around, falling off - I've had to fish 'em out of the disposal, trash at work, etc ..

Well here's the debate. To solve this issue, I started wearing them on my middle fingers instead of my ring fingers. My wife however, is insisting that I get them resized so that I can wear them on the correct fingers, but I've decided I kind of like them on the "wrong" fingers. (I have to say I kind of like the .. "Hey, what's up with the rings?" .. well, I used to weigh over 300 .. "nooo ****. wow.") This debate has not gotten heated, nor do I think it will .. it just exists, and comes up from time to time.

So anyway I figured I would post the question here because MFP'ers tend to be quiet and reserved in their opinions, and will treat me gently, with dignity and respect.

Does it REALLY matter which finger you wear the ring on?

ThePlight

She might feel that other women may believe that you are single. I'm going to be getting a tattoo, so won't be a problem for me, at least.

sizzle74

I would respect your wife's wishes.

Unknown

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PennyM140

Eh, my husband lost his ring in a pond years ago. Neither of us really felt like spending the money to replace it.
Sometimes I wear mine, sometimes I don't. It's just a piece of jewelry to me.
But if it's important to her, ask yourself if it's worth fighting over.

exquisitelyimprobable

I wouldn't care, but it's not my opinion that counts. If it is important to your wife, I would have them resized when you are at maintenance.

ekz13

traditionally yes, and it probably wouldn't matter to her, but couple that with your weight loss, increased confidence, etc, and now the ring on the "wrong" finger she maybe getting a bad inner feeling about the whole thing .


it's a small thing, but it's important to her.

notdieting

Dang boy! Get your ring back where it belongs! Of course it matters which finger it's on or we would just choose whichever we wanted at the ceremony.

I have had the same issues with my engagement, wedding and eternity ring but would never dream of wearing them anywhere else....they will be re-sized!

TriShamelessly

I ended up buying a $20 ring off amazon to replace my wedding band. As soon as I'm sure this weight is where I'll maintain, then I'll resize. Until I "splurged," I felt it best to either go without the band (as I did) or you can wear it on the other finger. Better options than losing the darn thing down a drain somewhere where you can't retrieve it. Best of Luck! (P.S. Your wife is always right regardless).

Edited for typos.

SweetTrouble_

Happy wife, happy life...go get your rings sized.

Aquabird

I don't always wear my rings (I work in a bad neighborhood and don't feel safe with them on and then don't take them to Cheer practice on the weekends since I spend a lot of time catching falling bodies and don't want to jam my fingers with them on ). My husband doesn't mind since he knows I am not doing it to play off that I am single.

I like that you use the different fingers to start a conversation on your journey, but I think that your wife's feelings trump that.

If you don't want to get them resized, you can by inserts that will make them tighter on your fingers so they don't fall off.

SmexAppeal

You want gentle??? Bahahhaaaaaa....

Seriously though, people who lose lots of weight love to tell their story of success. They have every damn reason too! And you should be proud of yourself. As long as the issue doesn't bother or hurt her, then keep doing it and keep telling your story!!!

SugarBaby71

From my point of view, if it matters to her maybe you should consider that.

see_turtle

I would not want my husband to wear his ring on another finger. He works at a college and even with his wedding ring gets hit on by (male and female) students occasionaly. I feel as though the ring is an symbol to the rest of the world and to ourselves. Ask your wife!

charissh

I'm kinda the same as you.

My engagement ring is way too big and it's now on my middle finger, it's safer there and it was expensive so I'm not sure I trust it to get resized!

But I'm getting married next year and it's important for me to wear a wedding ring so I'm gonna get one which fits nicely

It really depends on you and what it means to you, and what it means to your wife. If it's an important sign of commitment for her you might want to get them re-sized x

felcandy

But if it's important to her, ask yourself if it's worth fighting over.

And is a conversation piece more important to you than making sure the woman you love is happy?

Just compromise. Get the wedding band resized and wear the other for conversation :P

StinkyWinkies

it wouldn't matter to me which finger my SO wore his ring/s on...but having been married to a man who wasn't allowed to wear rings on the job, it was a moot point...that being written, you wanna be right or you wanna be happy?

PS Orthodox Greeks wear them on the Right hand ring fingers...just sayin'

rmt5580

My thoughs exactly.

shastacrystal

Happy wife, happy life...go get your rings sized.

THIS!!! Plus you can still find a great way to tell your amazing weight loss story;)

ItsCasey

I think if it matters to your wife, it matters. Period.

I have a friend who married a Ukrainian woman, and apparently in the Ukrainian Orthodox tradition, you wear your wedding ring on your right hand. He is an American Christian, but because it was important to her, he wears his wedding band on his right hand.

bajoyba

I think it really just depends on how important it is to your wife and what the two of you decide together.

My husband has lost his wedding ring TWICE and is now on his third ring. Each time, he went a few months in between without any ring at all, but it was important to both of us that he have one, so we replaced it. He also gets hit on pretty frequently by people of all genders/orientations, and although neither of us have trust issues, we view our rings as an outward symbol of commitment.

Now that I've lost as much weight as I have, my wedding/engagement rings are VERY loose and often slide around on my finger. I intend to get them sized, but for now, I went to the grocery store and bought a $10 ring to match in a smaller size and plopped it on top of the other two rings to hold them in place. It works perfectly, but I'm not sure many guys would accept that as an adequate solution.

Lleldiranne

I would resize the traditional band at least. Part of the point of wearing a wedding band is letting others know your "taken" (at least, to many people), and wearing on the "wrong" finger may give some weird vibes concerning that.

But ask your wife if she's willing to compromise and let you keep the other ring for the right hand on the different finger, if you want.

docsandy

A dramatic change , such as the one you've made and continue to make, can make your life partner feel insecure. She may view your reluctance to wear your wedding on your "ring finger" as a subtle signal that the "new" you is available. If her concerns are important to you, get your ring sized and put it back where it belongs.

just_Jennie1

Get them re-sized when you're at your goal weight. Let your wife know that once you hit your goal weight you'll be putting the rings back on the correct finger.

The only time I wear my wedding ring now is when I get dressed up.

My husband rarely, if ever, wears his. He's not a fan of jewelry and he almost lost it once so he's kind of banned from wearing it.

In all honesty I don't see what the big deal is when it comes to wedding bands and whether or not some people choose to wear them. I get that it's boasting to the world "I'M MARRIED! HANDS OFF THE GOODS!" but in reality it's just a symbol. Not wearing a ring doesn't make you not married.

mrsamanda86

I wouldn't care, but it's not my opinion that counts. If it is important to your wife, I would have them resized when you are at maintenance.

^^This.
My hubby can't wear his rings most of the time because of the job he does. It doesn't bother me, he doesn't give off a single guy vibe and I know I can trust him so whatever. It sucks that he doesn't get to wear it that often because it's a super cool looking ring, but that's about the only reason I care lol I take mine off when going to the gym now because I recently cracked the band of my engagement ring, luckily it doesn't pinch and it's sodded together to my wedding band so not a huge deal... just gonna wait till I need to get it resized and have all of it done at once.

steveinct

I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

Ed98043

Get your left-hand ring sized, at least. If you want a conversation starter then wear a loose watch, or get an "Ask me about my weight loss!" button made or something.

Lleldiranne

I think it really just depends on how important it is to your wife and what the two of you decide together.
My husband has lost his wedding ring TWICE and is now on his third ring. Each time, he went a few months in between without any ring at all, but it was important to both of us that he have one, so we replaced it.
Now that I've lost as much weight as I have, my wedding/engagement rings are VERY lose and often slide around on my finger. I intend to get them sized, but for now, I went to the grocery store and bought a $10 ring to match in a smaller size and plopped it on top of the other two rings to hold them in place. It works perfectly, but I'm not sure many guys would accept that as an adequate solution.

Actually, it might. The prongs on my diamond/set need to be replaced (so I don't lose the stone) and we haven't been able to do that. I bought a $10 band at Wal-Mart a few years ago and usually wear just that. Even when we do the the diamond ring fixed, I'll probably wear just the band for most things so I don't damage my fancy ring. (I think wearing the diamond all the time is a generational thing … my grandma was a post WWII bride and had a diamond and a plain band. She always wore the band, but added the diamond just for special occasions/dressy and it seems like most of her generation did the same)

gobonas99

But if it's important to her, ask yourself if it's worth fighting over.

And is a conversation piece more important to you than making sure the woman you love is happy?

Just compromise. Get the wedding band resized and wear the other for conversation :P

QTF. Re-size your wedding band. Which finger you wear the claddaugh on doesn't really matter now that you have a wedding band.

ethompso0105

I agree with the couple of people who suggest resizing your wedding ring (that WOULD make a difference to me) but keeping your other ring on your middle finger. Presto--conversation starter AND a happy wife!

PS--congrats on your weight loss!!!

Julzanne72

Get your left-hand ring sized, at least. If you want a conversation starter then wear a loose watch, or get an "Ask me about my weight loss!" button made or something.

^^^^^ This !! LOL!