Wedding Ring Debate

245

Replies

  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    My husband has lost about 30 lbs which has made his wedding ring quite loose. He doesn't need to lose more weight. He's a mail carrier and as the weather chills, it's not uncommon for his ring to fly off. Thankfully, it's been at the office before he's delivering. I've actually encouraged him to leave it off. Even knowing there are ladies where he works that fancy him. I would rather he wear it when he's not at risk of losing it. And, we are too cheap to pay for resizing. So, personally it doesn't matter. But, like everyone else (just about) has pointed out...if it matters to YOUR wife, you should probably pay attention to what she's saying.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    But if it's important to her, ask yourself if it's worth fighting over.

    And is a conversation piece more important to you than making sure the woman you love is happy?

    Just compromise. Get the wedding band resized and wear the other for conversation :P

    QTF. Re-size your wedding band. Which finger you wear the claddaugh on doesn't really matter now that you have a wedding band. :smile:

    Just a Note: The claddagh is more significant to me than the band. (It's a wedding ring too, after all). She got it for me when we got engaged (because it's an engagement ring too). At the wedding ceremony, when we did the rings, I also flipped the claddagh around too. But, I'm on my 3rd wedding band. I HATE the original, and never really wore it - there was a mistake, and it was a 2mm (instead of 5mm) wide ring - looks ridiculous on my snausage fingers.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

    It's not even a big issue for me. I wouldnt resize the wedding band, I'd just buy a new one, but - I don't want to touch the claddagh. And I can't really explain why to myself, nevermind to all y'all ...
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I wear 2 rings; a standard wedding ring on my left hand, and a claddagh on my right. For a couple years, I wore neither, because they didn't fit. Well, I lost enough weight to start wearing them again, but then something happened; I kept losing weight and now they are too big. They were spinning around, falling off - I've had to fish 'em out of the disposal, trash at work, etc ..

    Well here's the debate. To solve this issue, I started wearing them on my middle fingers instead of my ring fingers. My wife however, is insisting that I get them resized so that I can wear them on the correct fingers, but I've decided I kind of like them on the "wrong" fingers. (I have to say I kind of like the .. "Hey, what's up with the rings?" .. well, I used to weigh over 300 .. "nooo ****. wow.") This debate has not gotten heated, nor do I think it will .. it just exists, and comes up from time to time.

    So anyway I figured I would post the question here because MFP'ers tend to be quiet and reserved in their opinions, and will treat me gently, with dignity and respect.

    Does it REALLY matter which finger you wear the ring on?

    I think whenever your wife complains you should display both the fingers the rings are currently on and tell her she's always gonna be your #1. Be sure to check back to tell me how it goes.

    (P.S. You can also tell your wife you don't need rings on correct fingers to keep the ladies at bay. You've got that great shirt and glasses going for you. This is not mean but an honest observation as everyone knows women only like men in tight Tshirts and shades and skinnyjeans. You are dressed in the official "off the market" uniform and have no needs to worry about the "single ladies".)
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I wear 2 rings; a standard wedding ring on my left hand, and a claddagh on my right. For a couple years, I wore neither, because they didn't fit. Well, I lost enough weight to start wearing them again, but then something happened; I kept losing weight and now they are too big. They were spinning around, falling off - I've had to fish 'em out of the disposal, trash at work, etc ..

    Well here's the debate. To solve this issue, I started wearing them on my middle fingers instead of my ring fingers. My wife however, is insisting that I get them resized so that I can wear them on the correct fingers, but I've decided I kind of like them on the "wrong" fingers. (I have to say I kind of like the .. "Hey, what's up with the rings?" .. well, I used to weigh over 300 .. "nooo ****. wow.") This debate has not gotten heated, nor do I think it will .. it just exists, and comes up from time to time.

    So anyway I figured I would post the question here because MFP'ers tend to be quiet and reserved in their opinions, and will treat me gently, with dignity and respect.

    Does it REALLY matter which finger you wear the ring on?

    I think whenever your wife complains you should display both the fingers the rings are currently on and tell her she's always gonna be your #1. Be sure to check back to tell me how it goes.

    (P.S. You can also tell your wife you don't need rings on correct fingers to keep the ladies at bay. You've got that great shirt and glasses going for you. This is not mean but an honest observation as everyone knows women only like men in tight Tshirts and shades and skinnyjeans. You are dressed in the official "off the market" uniform and have no needs to worry about the "single ladies".)

    That's just how I dress. I've been an old man since I was 15 ...
  • Sovictorrious
    Sovictorrious Posts: 770 Member
    Just wear the ring
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    My husband never wore his wedding ring.


    We're divorced now.


    Care to play "Choose Your Own Adventure?"
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    I wear 2 rings; a standard wedding ring on my left hand, and a claddagh on my right. For a couple years, I wore neither, because they didn't fit. Well, I lost enough weight to start wearing them again, but then something happened; I kept losing weight and now they are too big. They were spinning around, falling off - I've had to fish 'em out of the disposal, trash at work, etc ..

    Well here's the debate. To solve this issue, I started wearing them on my middle fingers instead of my ring fingers. My wife however, is insisting that I get them resized so that I can wear them on the correct fingers, but I've decided I kind of like them on the "wrong" fingers. (I have to say I kind of like the .. "Hey, what's up with the rings?" .. well, I used to weigh over 300 .. "nooo ****. wow.") This debate has not gotten heated, nor do I think it will .. it just exists, and comes up from time to time.

    So anyway I figured I would post the question here because MFP'ers tend to be quiet and reserved in their opinions, and will treat me gently, with dignity and respect.

    Does it REALLY matter which finger you wear the ring on?

    I think whenever your wife complains you should display both the fingers the rings are currently on and tell her she's always gonna be your #1. Be sure to check back to tell me how it goes.

    (P.S. You can also tell your wife you don't need rings on correct fingers to keep the ladies at bay. You've got that great shirt and glasses going for you. This is not mean but an honest observation as everyone knows women only like men in tight Tshirts and shades and skinnyjeans. You are dressed in the official "off the market" uniform and have no needs to worry about the "single ladies".)

    That's just how I dress. I've been an old man since I was 15 ...

    I know what you mean. My kid is an old man and he's only 6. It took quite a convo to get him to concede to NOT wearing a tuxedo to kindergarten. Still can't get him out of polo's and buttondowns. It's cute though. I like the preppy style personally, but yeah out there in the dating world your outfit is like woman repellant.
  • run2bfree
    run2bfree Posts: 108 Member
    personally I wouldn't care. BUT if it bothers the wife - you should make it a priority. get'em sized.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Just wear the ring

    OMG for some reason this response from this user just gave me the PERFECT answer. Maybe you can wear the ring on your 21st finger that way it's right where it needs to be when it needs to be seen. OTherwise it's none of anyones business, but when it's go time, it's right where it would get the most attention and be a deterrent, yes?
  • LosingExtraKristy
    LosingExtraKristy Posts: 164 Member
    You wife may feel it is important, so respecting her is probably the right thing to do!

    ^ This. :smile:
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

    ^^^ this! Choose your battles, my friend. Choose your battles!
  • LosingExtraKristy
    LosingExtraKristy Posts: 164 Member
    My husband never wore his wedding ring.


    We're divorced now.


    Care to play "Choose Your Own Adventure?"
    BWAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAH

    :laugh:
  • kiekokay
    kiekokay Posts: 101 Member
    A dramatic change , such as the one you've made and continue to make, can make your life partner feel insecure. She may view your reluctance to wear your wedding on your "ring finger" as a subtle signal that the "new" you is available. If her concerns are important to you, get your ring sized and put it back where it belongs.

    Exactly this!! ^^^^
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    I wear 2 rings; a standard wedding ring on my left hand, and a claddagh on my right. For a couple years, I wore neither, because they didn't fit. Well, I lost enough weight to start wearing them again, but then something happened; I kept losing weight and now they are too big. They were spinning around, falling off - I've had to fish 'em out of the disposal, trash at work, etc ..

    Well here's the debate. To solve this issue, I started wearing them on my middle fingers instead of my ring fingers. My wife however, is insisting that I get them resized so that I can wear them on the correct fingers, but I've decided I kind of like them on the "wrong" fingers. (I have to say I kind of like the .. "Hey, what's up with the rings?" .. well, I used to weigh over 300 .. "nooo ****. wow.") This debate has not gotten heated, nor do I think it will .. it just exists, and comes up from time to time.

    So anyway I figured I would post the question here because MFP'ers tend to be quiet and reserved in their opinions, and will treat me gently, with dignity and respect.

    Does it REALLY matter which finger you wear the ring on?

    Thats why its called a ring finger and middle finger. Get them resized and wear them on the proper fingers you dilhole.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I live in the middle of the USA and here, yes it matters. If a man or woman does not have a ring on the "ring finger" of their left hand people assume they're single.
  • LisaGNV
    LisaGNV Posts: 159 Member
    IMO: The symbolism of your wedding ring should be greater than it's use as a conversation starter about your weight loss. Honor your wife, get the ring resized. There are other ways you can share about your weight loss sucesses.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    Yeef. I was expecting this to go maybe 50-50, and resolve NOTHING. (tacitly enabling my inaction)

    Thanks for nothing, mfp ...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Well (and I don't know how true this is) I heard that you wear the ring on the ring finger because there is a vein in that finger that runs straight to the heart. Wearing the ring on that finger is symbolic of the connection between yourself and your spouse.
  • steveinct
    steveinct Posts: 140 Member
    I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

    It's not even a big issue for me. I wouldnt resize the wedding band, I'd just buy a new one, but - I don't want to touch the claddagh. And I can't really explain why to myself, nevermind to all y'all ...

    I think that is a good idea. The wedding ring should be the only one that matters anyway.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Since it doesn't really matter to you but obviously matters to your wife, just get them resized and wear them on the right finger.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

    It's not even a big issue for me. I wouldnt resize the wedding band, I'd just buy a new one, but - I don't want to touch the claddagh. And I can't really explain why to myself, nevermind to all y'all ...

    I think that is a good idea. The wedding ring should be the only one that matters anyway.

    Agree that the claddagh ring doesn't really matter. Just deal with the wedding ring.
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    Well (and I don't know how true this is) I heard that you wear the ring on the ring finger because there is a vein in that finger that runs straight to the heart. Wearing the ring on that finger is symbolic of the connection between yourself and your spouse.

    It is true. But all veins run to the heart. And all fingers have veins.
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
    If is keeps coming up, then obviously it matters to her, on some level. And you and her are really the only two that matter in this discussion. Hence if it makes her feel better, is it that much of a problem for you.

    Personally, this is one of those things I file under; pick my battles.
  • Followingsea
    Followingsea Posts: 407 Member
    Possible compromise:

    You could always get a ring guard/ring size adjuster. That way you can wear the rings on the right finger, they will fit appropriately, but still be way oversized so you can proudly explain to anyone who asks that you've lost X lbs since [whenever].
  • sullus
    sullus Posts: 2,839 Member
    I can't believe this is even an issue for you. There is about 1 million things a guy must do to ensure your woman feels happy and secure and we, as men, don't understand 99.9% of them. This is in the0.1% of things that is freaking easy! Do it!

    It's not even a big issue for me. I wouldnt resize the wedding band, I'd just buy a new one, but - I don't want to touch the claddagh. And I can't really explain why to myself, nevermind to all y'all ...

    I think that is a good idea. The wedding ring should be the only one that matters anyway.

    Agree that the claddagh ring doesn't really matter. Just deal with the wedding ring.

    I posted earlier. The claddagh does matter. more than the wedding band.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I know many happily married people who don't wear rings at all, so I don't see the big deal. It's symbol, not a chastity belt.
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
    Yeef. I was expecting this to go maybe 50-50, and resolve NOTHING. (tacitly enabling my inaction)

    Thanks for nothing, mfp ...

    Did you get it resized yet? Quit posting here and get your @$$ to the jewelry store.
  • lambchristie
    lambchristie Posts: 552 Member
    I am wearing my wedding ring on my middle finger too, because its too big. I am not done losing weight yet so I won't get it re-sized until then. A couple of people have commented, but not many. I also wear my thumb rings from my right hand on my middle finger, right hand. For the same reason. Not sure those will get re-sized. Kinda like them on my middle finger.

    Since marriage is about love, honor, respect (and a whole lot more) ... I agree .. respect your wife's desire, show her the love you have in your heart for her ... and have the ring re-sized and wear it where she placed it on your wedding day. Perhaps have a re-commitment ceremony in the process. Just a thought.

    Best of luck.

Categories