Doing this in secret?

jennifer_417

I didn't go out of my way to keep it a secret, but I didn't really talk about it, either. I didn't want the people around me to feel free to give me tips, or comment on what I ate, how I exercised, or anything else.

MickeyCastello

I didn't have to tell anyone, because my girlfriend, at the time, managed to get the word out to the whole world.

hararayne

I've gone back and forth through out my life on "hiding it". Right now, a friend at work is working out (excessively to me) and it's actually causing me to NOT want to workout myself. She has asked me to come along a few times and I always find a good excuse. I guess I'm just embarassed. And I really don't have much time to workout. But mostly I'm just intimidated and embarassed that I can't get as excited as she gets about exercising. So I don't discuss it much with her right now. I discuss it sparingly with another girl and read and try to motivate myself on here.

Your partner is about as supportive as my partner. He's been snotty in a similar way several times before. So I allow the waterworks to come on because it makes him uncomfortable, much how his comments have made me feel. So, knowing what it's like to be in love with someone that isn't always nice about your efforts hits very close to home. Just try to remember that what they say doesn't define you and it isn't the majority of what they mean to you. And DON'T let it derail you. My partner has often tried to say he is attempting to "motivate me". But it derails me pretty much every time. And food is far more comforting than the nasty thing he just said.

What you have is 1 scale victory (10 lbs!) and 2 non-scale victories. Be proud of yourself and keep working on improving. And honestly, the point is to be healthier. Who cares if you lose weight or not as long as you are becoming healthier, building muscle and taking care of YOU!

mellyish

I only have ~100 friends on facebook, about half family, and everyone knows I've lost weight/ still am, exercise, and I occasionally share healthy recipes and share my runs. I have a small amount of people that regularly support me when I post, whether it's just likes or words of encouragement. If I didn't share on facebook and didn't talk to anyone about this journey I don't think I'd be able to make it through. And my occasional posts have actually encouraged many other people in my life to be more active which feels great that I inspired people like that which encourages me to keep pushing. I tried being secretive in the beginning but it just made things more difficult.

LolaDeeDaisy23

I agree with brandolin. It really sounds like your wife & you should look into some counseling. Maybe she feels a little envious that you're losing weight & she isn't? Maybe you should try to include her in your journey. Try to change your healthier lifestyle together. I haven't told anyone that I'm using mfp. Only my fiance knows & he completely supports & motivates me. Except for the few times where he tries to force feed me a bite of his Little Caesar's pizza. Besides him knowing, I log in secret. Idk why I'm embarrassed but I am. Maybe because the few times I actually mention healthier eating or working out, people will roll their eyes. I ordered a sandwich from subway with no cheese & a friend laughed at me saying " who doesn't put cheese on their sandwiches??" I actually love cheese but I was saving my cals for a big dinner & dessert that night.
Anyways, I don't need people to criticize my food choices or tell me I don't need to work out. If people notice that I'm getting more toned or looking better, then great. But I'm not going to advertise to everyone what I'm doing.

Ed98043

I didn't go out of my way to keep it a secret, but I didn't really talk about it, either. I didn't want the people around me to feel free to give me tips, or comment on what I ate, how I exercised, or anything else.

Yep. I told a few people when I first started but haven't mentioned it in a while. I'm not losing very quickly and I don't need all the Judgy McJudgersons monitoring my progress. Plus I want people to notice, and hopefully comment, on their own - not because I pointed out that I've lost weight. I'm curious to see if anyone says anything at the Thanksgiving family gathering. I'm not counting on it.

hararayne

I don't think I'll keep my exercising a secret. If I'm obese and need to lose weight, why would I hide the fact I'm working towards loosing the weight a secret? Seems odd to me. Just the other day I told my friend I was getting ready for a workout and he gave me a compliment.

I keep my exercising a secret from my friend because I'm not at her level and am embarassed. I keep my exercising secret from my boyfriend because I worry he will make some comment about how I'm not working out hard enough (because he has WITHOUT seeing how I was working out) Last May I was doing Zombies, Run on a regular basis and I felt really good about myself, but it worked best when I didn't discuss it with anyone or try to have a workout buddy. I just went and did it.

I'm having a little trouble getting back on the band wagon with exercising, but my counting has been going pretty well recently,

Ophidion

Why yes and I have ways of hiding it as well, such as...

When on MFP I am sure to always have porn open in another tab, so I can quickly switch to it as to not embarrass myself by being seen a fitness site.

If anyone see's me lifting weights I just let them know I am double checking that gravity still works.

Whenever doing cardio I am sure to wear a balaclava and carry a sack with a $ sign on it so I look like I am running from the scene of a robbery.

If people notice that I weigh or pay attention to my food portions I quickly explain the sad details of my OCD condition then quickly flip the light switch twelve times whilst reciting the alphabet backwards.

Short answer: No but I don't advertise it either unless people have a genuine interest.

SamanthaH10

Why yes and I have ways of hiding it as well, such as...

When on MFP I am sure to always have porn open in another tab, so I can quickly switch to it as to not embarrass myself by being seen a fitness site.

If anyone see's me lifting weights I just let them know I am double checking that gravity still works.

Whenever doing cardio I am sure to wear a balaclava and carry a sack with a $ sign on it so I look like I am running from the scene of a robbery.

If people notice that I weigh or pay attention to my food portions I quickly explain the sad details of my OCD condition then quickly flip the light switch twelve times whilst reciting the alphabet backwards.

Short answer: No but I don't advertise it either unless people have a genuine interest.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

lisa35120

Well.. my husband knows. I tell him everything. Even if I didn't tell him he would still know because I don't eat much junk food anymore. Chocolate actually lasts for longer than a day around our house now.. lol

People on facebook know that I've started running, but they don't know how much or why. They just know I run.

Other than that nobody knows. And I'm not planning on announcing it to anybody either.

tindy5799

Yes! Luckily I live with my friends and they don't notice if I eat or not. I think that now that I'm down 10 pounds one of them might have noticed a difference (since I only have 30 to lose total) but for the most part i'm the only one that has seen any changes.

My friends do try and sabotage my loss so I'm just not telling them and hopefully one day they'll just see it and be jealous :-)

fitspo145

Why yes and I have ways of hiding it as well, such as...

When on MFP I am sure to always have porn open in another tab, so I can quickly switch to it as to not embarrass myself by being seen a fitness site.

If anyone see's me lifting weights I just let them know I am double checking that gravity still works.

Whenever doing cardio I am sure to wear a balaclava and carry a sack with a $ sign on it so I look like I am running from the scene of a robbery.

If people notice that I weigh or pay attention to my food portions I quickly explain the sad details of my OCD condition then quickly flip the light switch twelve times whilst reciting the alphabet backwards.

Short answer: No but I don't advertise it either unless people have a genuine interest.

Great excuses. I should give those a try. :laugh:

But in all seriousness, same here. I don't advertise it, but I don't hide it either. I'm sorry to hear that your wife is not more supportive but sometimes the people closest to us are the harshest judges. My family is harsh about weight mainly because most of them have the super fast metabolism trait from my Dad's side of the family and are sizes 0-4. So for instance, my aunt visited me a few weeks ago when I was in my last 3 days of Insanity and commented that I had lost weight but there are better strategies I could use to lose the flab off my arms :grumble: . I think my arms are great so those comments I just shrug off and do my own thing.

This is for you and keep going at it and well done with your progress so far!

Fivepts

I didn't have to tell anyone, because my girlfriend, at the time, managed to get the word out to the whole world.

Haha. An example of the kind of person you shouldn't tell.

Fivepts

It seems that it's wise to keep my fitness journey secret (as much as possible) from certain types of people like the posters before me have said. The Judgy McJudgers (I like that one), Controllers, Sabotagers, Busybodies, Critical People, Fitness/Diet/Exercise Know-it-Alls, People who've never struggled with weight, Shamers, Public Announcers, Policers, People who are Jealous of Your Success/Attention (in any form), Nit-pickers etc don't need access to that area of our lives. If they get a hint of my goals I'm forced with trying to get away from them somehow or going back at them. Sometimes I try one approach, sometimes the other.

Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot of people to confide in and really only includes those who are genuinely rooting for us. Sometimes our own spouse or mom can't root for us (hopefully only in this one area) but we can find others who can. I struggle personally with the "Never Struggled and Think Losing Weight is a Piece of Cake" type and do my best just to ignore them and realize that their insensitivity is their problem and not mine. (Obviously, being sensitive to others struggles isn't a piece of cake for them). Jealous People who are also struggling with weight is another issue and I agree with previous posters that they can often be won over with love and encouragement.

kzshelbi

I am doing this kind of in secret but I have a good reason, I'm looking to shock my family and friends at how much weight I'm going to lose by the next time I see them! I'm always shunned out because I'm the big girl in the family I want to show them I'm something way more then that! I wanna prove everyone wrong who says I'll never change.

blably

yeh im pretty much by myself.

and specially now that people are talkin how my ex broke me with cheating that all i do is someke and not eat thats why im gettin smaller.... well why take them the satisfaction by tellin them that ims weatin my *kitten* off and watch what i eat?

EvgeniZyntx

You are trying to get fit and are keeping that a secret?

There aren't enough gif's in the internet to express the amount of lol's that produces.

Getting fit takes time. You have to exercise one way or another to be fit. Are you sneaking one in at lunch time, going for midninght rendezvous with your short-shorts while she sleeps, secret dates with the kettle bells?

C'mon, you can't keep real fitness secret - it's a major lifestyle change. Dela with it, have an open discussion (and there are probably other issues going on if you can't). Discussions around "too much protein," "bad food", etc. can be had and myths dispelled in a calm way.

You don't need to annouce it on the roof-tops but real partners are in it for the journey one way or another or collateral damage.

jennifer_417

You are trying to get fit and are keeping that a secret?

There aren't enough gif's in the internet to express the amount of lol's that produces.

Getting fit takes time. You have to exercise one way or another to be fit. Are you sneaking one in at lunch time, going for midninght rendezvous with your short-shorts while she sleeps, secret dates with the kettle bells?

C'mon, you can't keep real fitness secret - it's a major lifestyle change. Dela with it, have an open discussion (and there are probably other issues going on if you can't). Discussions around "too much protein," "bad food", etc. can be had and myths dispelled in a calm way.

You don't need to annouce it on the roof-tops but real partners are in it for the journey one way or another or collateral damage.

Hey, that's what we have MFP for! Everyone IRL can just compliment us as they notice progress!

EvgeniZyntx

Hey, that's what we have MFP for! Everyone IRL can just compliment us as they notice progress!

secret progress?

hararayne

You are trying to get fit and are keeping that a secret?

There aren't enough gif's in the internet to express the amount of lol's that produces.

Getting fit takes time. You have to exercise one way or another to be fit. Are you sneaking one in at lunch time, going for midninght rendezvous with your short-shorts while she sleeps, secret dates with the kettle bells?

C'mon, you can't keep real fitness secret - it's a major lifestyle change. Dela with it, have an open discussion (and there are probably other issues going on if you can't). Discussions around "too much protein," "bad food", etc. can be had and myths dispelled in a calm way.

You don't need to annouce it on the roof-tops but real partners are in it for the journey one way or another or collateral damage.

Well, if you go on his profile, (I know, work....) he states that he IS an active guy by nature but it is his eating habits that need tweaking. He describes himself as one who can't out-exercise what he eats....or something like that.