Divorce: is it worth it?

HawtinPhoenix

For those of you who have gone through a divorce, was the grass greener on the other side? Are you happier now or do you regret it? Discuss.

Pinkee33

Is it really about the grass being greener though? For me, personally, I think it's more about being happier as an individual, with a lighter spirit and a happier heart:flowerforyou:

sillygoosie

I am so much happier now. I would be a totally miserable person if I was still married to my ex. He's a good guy, but we just ended up wanting completely different things out of life.

wolverine66

i think she meant "grass is greener" to mean "are you happier/better off"

I could be wrong. Maybe she was being literal and meant do you have greener grass in the new place in which you are living.

bookworm_847

I haven't, but I can speak about my parents' divorce (just from my perspective, obviously )

When I was little, my parents fought all the time. They were both really unhappy and eventually decided to get divorced. There was a period after the divorce where they were both struggling to adjust, but after they adjusted, things were much better.

They became great friends. My dad used to come over to take care of my sister and me on weekends when my mom worked, and when she got home, we'd all have dinner together and watch a movie as a family. To this day, they get along really well and have few disagreements.

I can't say that it would be like that for everyone, but I think in the long run, it was a good move for my parents. They're both wonderful people, but just didn't work as a married couple.

lorenzovonmatterhorn7549

It wasn't my choice but I am so much happier now that it's over

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I do not regret my divorce one bit. It was one of the best decisions I made for myself. I was miserable and I didn't want my then 1 year old growing up thinking the relationship her parents had was normal. So I took her and left.

sillygoosie

I haven't, but I can speak about my parents' divorce (just from my perspective, obviously )

When I was little, my parents fought all the time. They were both really unhappy and eventually decided to get divorced. There was a period after the divorce where they were both struggling to adjust, but after they adjusted, things were much better.

They became great friends. My dad used to come over to take care of my sister and me on weekends when my mom worked, and when she got home, we'd all have dinner together and watch a movie as a family. To this day, they get along really well and have few disagreements.

I can't say that it would be like that for everyone, but I think in the long run, it was a good move for my parents. They're both wonderful people, but just didn't work as a married couple.

This. If we had stayed together, I think we would have ended up hating each other and damaging our daughter. Now we are friends and even though she wishes we were together, my daughter gets to see her parents get along and still like each other.

HawtinPhoenix

i think she meant "grass is greener" to mean "are you happier/better off"

I could be wrong. Maybe she was being literal and meant do you have greener grass in the new place in which you are living.

This

just_Jennie1

The question is do you think you will be happier and better off if you get a divorce?

This is not a dress rehearsal. You're not going to get a second time around at life so do what is going to make you happy. I for one would not want to live out the rest of my days in a miserable situation.

jeanlake

Since I re-married my ex after a three-year split, while we were in our 20s, I would say put a lot of effort into restoring the relationship unless abuse or toxic deceit is involved. I left because I was angry and gave up on the relationship. I looked for someone with his similar qualities and kissed a few frogs in the process. After taking it slow and going to counseling during reconciliation, we're still married and great friends. I guess I would say if you are both good people with good intentions -- find the positives and try to keep it together. Regardless of your decision -- get counseling. It's worth your time, sanity and money. Good luck to you.

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askeates

Life is so much better! I'm much happier, and have been able to get back to being myself again!

rungirl1973

It depends?

In my situation, ABSOLUTELY Y E S!!!

Since I have no idea what is going on in your marriage, I can't speak to whether or not it's the right answer for you...

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jkandktmom

I couldn't let me kids grow up thinking that is how a man should treat a women. My ex is a good father and although we struggle sometimes we are both good parents but I will not let someone continuously cheat on me. It wasn't healthy for anyone.

kellenas

I paid for the entire thing and for me and my son, yes it was completely worth it. My ex was an abusive alcoholic and I wasn't going to put my son through it. He grew up not knowing his father, since I terminated his rights when I sued for the divorce. I also think that was worth it. My son is a very well rounded intelligent young man and he had my dad to be a male role model growing up.

RunWinterGarden

She did me a favor and initiated it, but I am a BILLION times happier now.

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calimari

Yes. My first marriage lasted 9 months; my husband's first marriage lasted about 2 months. We've been married now over 23 years and still very much in love. I hated hurting my first husband by leaving, but I should have had the guts to cancel the wedding. He got over it and remarried too.

GTAFrank

She did me a favor and initiated it, but I am a BILLION times happier now.

UsedToBeHusky

The single life doesn't suck nearly as much as it would if I had stayed married.

atb0821

Getting a divorce was one of my best decisions ever.

Chieflrg

Finishing up the process right now.

I would never thought I would say it, but yep, well worth it.

Life is simply brilliant and euphoric now that my boat doesn't have an anchor of drama and selfishness.

pobalita

I'm much happier now. I am me again and no longer trying to mold myself into something I'm not for someone else.

Best of all, I am finally in control of whether I am happy or not.

odusgolp

Best decision I ever made... but my life experience has zilch to do with yours, so please don't use an Internet forum in your decision making process if you're thinking of ending your marriage.

MiloBloom83

It wasn't my choice but I am so much happier now that it's over

Yup.

+1

pobalita

Life is simply brilliant and euphoric now that my boat doesn't have an anchor of drama and selfishness.

this, exactly :drinker:

hbrittingham

My first marriage? Absolutely worth it! 4 1/2 years of being miserably married.

I thought I wanted a divorce from my second husband after 20 years of marriage and 22 years total together. When it came down to the line though, I realized that he was the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. Several months of marriage counseling and lots of work on both of our parts and we are happier now, almost 2 years later, than we had ever been before.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Uhh..... I like being married. We are happier now than we've ever been after 9.5 years (11 being together). Just thought I'd throw that in. :embarassed:

odusgolp

Uhh..... I like being married. We are happier now than we've ever been after 9.5 years (11 being together). Just thought I'd throw that in. :embarassed:

HI-FIVE!!