Marriage: Is it worth it?
Replies
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I've only been married for a month so I can't tell you too much but read this! ---> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/seth-adam-smith/marriage-isnt-for-you_b_4209837.html0
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Marriage:
~always having someone to share your joys/or sorrows with.
~never having to sleep alone
~someone who loves to make you smile.
~someone to warm you when you're freezing!
~someone you'd do anything for- and do anything for you
~someone who knows you as well as you know yourself.
marriage with the right person is a wonderful thing.
Not to be a Suzie Sourpuss, but my dog provides pretty much all those things, and with her there's no backtalk.
I whole heartedly agree with your last statement though.
LOL, this made me laugh.0 -
I met my husband in college. Actually I met him while I was still in high school and was visiting the school overnight as a prospective student (but I had already sent in my acceptance letter). I was in the dining hall, and he ran in and asked if anyone wanted to go white river rafting. I was immediately attracted to him and his personality. I actually said in my head, "I'm going to marry him". When I became a student we started dancing together at a party and then we stayed up all night talking. He wanted to kiss me, but I had decided that I wanted to be friends and get to know him better. I really liked him a lot. But, I was young and not ready to settle down so quickly into a relationship. I just knew that once I was with him, it was going to last. So, we were great friends. And I grew so much as a person through our friendship. After two years I realized how much my attraction had grown and that I was deeply in love with him. I knew all along that he was interested in me and was just waiting for me to say lets get together. The night before his birthday, I made a banner with friends. He didn't know we had a surprise planned, and he felt left out. So, I went to his room and ended up sleeping over. In the morning we went outside (he was going on a morning hike) and he saw the banner wishing him a happy birthday hanging from the bell tower. He picked me up and spun me around. After his birthday party that night, I told him that I loved him. It was his last semester. And we had many adventures. So, I met him 18 years ago (half my life), started dating 16 years ago, This summer will be 14 years of marriage. We are both very happy. We still have an amazing and adventurous sex life (although not outdoors as much as we used to). We have so many shared memories. We make each other laugh, even during disagreements. We support each other through the tough times. We have two daughters.
You have a sweet story0 -
Married 19 years. Love sharing our lives together. Love raising our children together. So worth it.0
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27 years and counting. Got married way too young and the running bet was we would make it 5 years tops. We were stubborn and decided to allow no one to win that bet. It's not always easy and it is not the "happily ever after" they try to sell in fairy tales but in my case, definitely "worth it."0
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I met my husband in college. Actually I met him while I was still in high school and was visiting the school overnight as a prospective student (but I had already sent in my acceptance letter). I was in the dining hall, and he ran in and asked if anyone wanted to go white river rafting. I was immediately attracted to him and his personality. I actually said in my head, "I'm going to marry him". When I became a student we started dancing together at a party and then we stayed up all night talking. He wanted to kiss me, but I had decided that I wanted to be friends and get to know him better. I really liked him a lot. But, I was young and not ready to settle down so quickly into a relationship. I just knew that once I was with him, it was going to last. So, we were great friends. And I grew so much as a person through our friendship. After two years I realized how much my attraction had grown and that I was deeply in love with him. I knew all along that he was interested in me and was just waiting for me to say lets get together. The night before his birthday, I made a banner with friends. He didn't know we had a surprise planned, and he felt left out. So, I went to his room and ended up sleeping over. In the morning we went outside (he was going on a morning hike) and he saw the banner wishing him a happy birthday hanging from the bell tower. He picked me up and spun me around. After his birthday party that night, I told him that I loved him. It was his last semester. And we had many adventures. So, I met him 18 years ago (half my life), started dating 16 years ago, This summer will be 14 years of marriage. We are both very happy. We still have an amazing and adventurous sex life (although not outdoors as much as we used to). We have so many shared memories. We make each other laugh, even during disagreements. We support each other through the tough times. We have two daughters.
You have a sweet story
Thank you!
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Been married, widowed and divorced at different times.
I'm married now and wish I had found my current husband 20 years ago.
He is the most incredibly kind and funny person I've ever met.
My sons lost their father when they were young and they pretty much worship my husband. He has always been so good and fair with them and I firmly believe that part of the reason they have been successful as adults is because they respect him so much.
I have written a couple of blogs about him and our relationship. Yep. It's love.
No regrets. I know I'm blessed.0 -
At 31, I am still waiting for the "one" to make me feel like it would be worth it. As of now, I have no intention or desire to EVER get married.0
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my husband is an alcoholic unicorn... and i am my husbands evil twin :devil: ... thankfully we are both be ocd on the trust/commitment thing.... most folks think our marital success is due to mental illness(and bacon).... at least the folks that have met us do any way. we have over a decade with each other :flowerforyou:0
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Marriage:
~always having someone to share your joys/or sorrows with.
~never having to sleep alone
~someone who loves to make you smile.
~someone to warm you when you're freezing!
~someone you'd do anything for- and do anything for you
~someone who knows you as well as you know yourself.
marriage with the right person is a wonderful thing.
exactly what this lovely women said-worth it-BUT-with the right man/woman.
And I find, if you were married before, and get married around 33-34 years old-then you've been there, done that. And you know what you DO want, and what you DONT want-and so does the other person if its their second marriage. Just my humble opinion. 0 -
My 5 year old told me she was never getting married. I told her that was fine and she didn't have to but asked why. She said because kissing is gross and she never wants to do it. Then she relented and said she would get married.... to nachos. My 3-year old replied he would marry spaghetti.0
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I was married for 12 years. My ex-husband is still a close friend. Even after the divorce I say it was worth it. We grew as all people do... Just not toward one another. I still get happy warm feelings when I see old people together. You don't know if they met one another at 20 or at 70. That gives me hope 0
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I love being married. It makes me look forward to going home at the end of the day. Having fun time as a family with hubby and our baby. We have been together for more than 6 years, married for 5(this month) and have a 17 month old daughter. Having a baby who does not sleep well has been really has been taxing on the intimacy part, but as a companion and room mate he is the absolute best. He supports me like noone ever has, gives me independence that i never felt i had. He lets me be what i want to be, teaches me how to enjoy my life the best!
I am doing more things now for myself than i did when i was single. We are opposite by nature like night and day, but we try and bring out the best in each other. There are fights, there are bad periods, but by now we both know each other too well to take any of those seriously!0 -
21 years married and together for 23 years. Yes, it's definitely worth it!0
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I've never understood what people mean when they say that marriage takes a lot of work. So far (15 years in) it doesn't seem like work.0
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Tell me some good things about being married! There seems to be so much bitterness. Or maybe there's a larger concentration of divorced people on MFP. Married people are fat and happy
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My husband and I will have been together 12 years in January, married 9.5 years. We have 3 kids. We've had some hard times, periods with lots of fighting over stupid stuff. Having babies is hard on a marriage especially when no one is sleeping. But we've really come to a good place. He supported me (financially and emotionally) through four rough years of grad school. He takes care of the kids when I travel for work. I support him in his endurance mountain bike racing hobby, long training hours, lots of travel for races. The sex is great. The romance and affection are awesome. The kids are at a good stable, less stressful place. We do fun things together as a family, and as a couple. He's a good friend, a good "roommate", a good co-parent, an excellent lover, etc. I don't know. I just really like being married right now.
:flowerforyou:
I've been unhappily married, to the wrong person. I am currently happily married to the right person, celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary next week, in fact, and my husband and I look forward to the next 25 years together. We have grown together, supported each other through the good times and the bad, and come out stronger in the end every time. It isn't always easy, but it's well worth it when marriage is to the right person. The right person is one who never puts you down, who always has something nice to say, who says "I love you" even when you've just been super sick and look like death warmed over. The right person is the one who loves you and shows it no matter what SIZE you are, what color you've decided to try on your hair this month, or what silly clothing trend you're trying lately. The right person loves you through the good moods and the bad ones, helps with any children that may have come from the union, and always wants to do something to make you smile. The right person understands that it's wonderful to spend time together and that it's okay to spend time apart as well, because that makes reuniting all the sweeter, even if it's just been to the grocery and back.
Those were just the feel good reasons, but there are financial ones as well. United States taxes are less for a married couple filing jointly. If one spouse dies, in many states, the surviving spouse doesn't have to fight in court for the right to control all the marital property or the children of that union. If a spouse is hospitalized, the other has the right to visit, even if the hospitalized spouse is unable to communicate his or her wishes to that effect.
All that aside, it's just really nice to know that someone loves you enough to sign a contract that states that fact and works hard with you to keep the marriage a happy one. Marriage takes commitment and effort, but like making pies, practice makes "perfect" and doing a little something every single day to make my husband happy seems to be something that has made us grow together and our love grow deeper over time. He does the same for me.0 -
Marriage, like any situation in life, is what you (and your partner) put into it. Marriage needs constant tending to and ample opportunities to forgive and be forgiven. There must be trust, honesty and compassion. There must also be a love that has the ability to change over time as you do. That love will grow with each situation, challenge and test as long as you allow it to and nurture it.
I have been married for almost four years and with each passing year I have come to realize and accept that we will never love each other the same way we did in the beginning but as we grow older we will love each other exactly as we need to be loved, if that makes sense...He truly is my best friend and the only one I can picture by my side in the days and years to come!0 -
From my own experience, yes. We talk, we hang out together, we like each others company, we have the same interests and are always involved in a family get together of some type every weekend. This month will be 15 years!!!!!!
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
im not seeing the worth financially and insurance wise marriage would not be a good thing for us
lol.....ditto in the tax world!0 -
Tell me some good things about being married! There seems to be so much bitterness. Or maybe there's a larger concentration of divorced people on MFP. Married people are fat and happy.
My husband and I will have been together 12 years in January, married 9.5 years. We have 3 kids. We've had some hard times, periods with lots of fighting over stupid stuff. Having babies is hard on a marriage especially when no one is sleeping. But we've really come to a good place. He supported me (financially and emotionally) through four rough years of grad school. He takes care of the kids when I travel for work. I support him in his endurance mountain bike racing hobby, long training hours, lots of travel for races. The sex is great. The romance and affection are awesome. The kids are at a good stable, less stressful place. We do fun things together as a family, and as a couple. He's a good friend, a good "roommate", a good co-parent, an excellent lover, etc. I don't know. I just really like being married right now.
:flowerforyou:
While I'm currently not married, I still believe that it's a great thing. I have several friends that have married their best friend. They are happy, healthy and doing wonderful. Do they have issues, yes at times they do but they work on those issues together and come out stronger. I hope that I find my "other half" who's willing to work with me to make the marriage work, and who I trust with my life, who I trust to be there for me in the happy and the sad times. And I hope they find the same things in me. Being divorced doesn't always equal bitterness. I just made a poor choice, we didn't want to achieve the same things and therefore we couldn't work together to create a good marriage.
There's the 2 cents from a recently divorced woman who still has hope of marrying the person she can dream with.0 -
We have been married 18 years, together for 20. We've had lots of ups and downs, and without hesitation I would say "I do" again a million times over.0
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Aww, that is the sweetest thing everWe have been married 18 years, together for 20. We've had lots of ups and downs, and without hesitation I would say "I do" again a million times over.
Anyway, to me it will be 0 -
I have been married for going on 22 years. He is my best friend & my rock. We have 2 kids (one is his step-child) who always know that they could rely on us for anything, but are learning how to live their own lives without much assistance from us. Our biggest issue has always been $$$ but our marriage has always been strong, no matter what the bank account says.
There is a plaque in our room that sums it up beautifully: With tiny tears that glistened, my eyes were fixed on you. Our hearts were knit together from the time that we first met, and the memories were gathered that we will never forget. While daily living life with you, you saw the real me & still you accepted me. With many happy times gone by and others when we cried, some days we'd share so endlessly and other days we'd hide. With all the ups & downs we've had in learning to be friends, I know that in this heart of mine I'd marry you again." This plaque is one that I found, but we both agree with what it says.0 -
If it wasn't for marriages then I would be an unemployed gal.
So I am thankful to all the people who get married.
Are you a divorce lawyer? Marriage or not marriage. Finding a partner who loves you and you love is great. Being happy is a choice.0 -
"That's love though, not marriage." <--- I like that. And I agree with it.0
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Marriage is worth it if you want to be married....(and want to stay married.) Some people shouldn't get married, some people should. It's up to the individual. I can't stand when people say "I don't believe in marriage"....that's weird because I promise it exists. :laugh: I love being married, I wouldn't give it up for the world. I love my husband and I never understood dating. That all being said, the only real difference between being married and just being committed to a person w/o being married is the legal aspect. I lived with my husband for over a year before we got married and nothing changed.(Edit: Nothing changed after we got married.) I think that if everything will change by you getting married, it's probably not worth it to get married. It should feel natural.0
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I'm divorced and I think marriage is a beautiful thing. I am kind of an old soul and tear up watching movies like UP and their marriage...and adventure (good and bad that came)....and would love to find something that endures that long. My ex-husband and I were never suited. Looking back I knew that very early on...but I was a different person then.
And with the right person....even the simple things are great and fulfilling. I believe in that and hope to get it some day. I want go be old and gray with someone. :laugh:0 -
I've been married to my husband for 25 yrs. Been together for 27 yrs. Marriage is what you make it. In the beginning of our marriage I had an unrealistic idea of what I wanted my marriage to be (too much romatic stuff i saw on TV) I realized life and marriage doesnt work that way.
Now I have learned marriage is Loving the person enough to compromise so the other is happy. Being willing to accept your faults and willing to make a change for the better of the marriage. COMMUNICATE often even if you have to make your husband communicate with you. Most men do not like to talk about problems in the hopes it will go away. It doesnt go away unless you talk. Never go to bed angry. Respect each other. Allow each other to grow and support each other! When I rise you rise when I fall you fall. If I make money we both benefit together.
My husband is my best friend and we genuinely enjoy each other! He is my soul mate!
Oh and iron out all the fundemental stuff before you even say I do!! I alleviates any problems later on!! COMMUNICATE0 -
A big resounding YES from me. I have been married to my bride for 27 years. .
Has it all been a bed of roses...heck no! but anything worth while takes work. Communication is key with all relationships and that means listening and understanding what the other persons needs and desires are and then working it out.. So for me, I wouldn't change a thing It's been a blessing to have my best friend by my side.0 -
I love being married. In fact, I'm puzzled by a lot of things others often say about it. Especially that it's only good/important/necessary for people who want to create a family with children. I think it's also great for those of us who are childfree by choice!! I love feeling like a two-person family unit with my partner, and having the world recognize us as such.
I'm 37 and have been married twice. After my divorce, I knew I'd marry again! I love that kind of long-term committed relationship. I just figured it would be a lot more time in between marriages LOL. I expected to marry again in a decade, but not in 2 years.
My past marriage was very good. We were a nice partnership and got along well.
My current marriage is 100 times more awesome. We are a nice partnership and get along well. We're also fascinated by each other, motivated by each other, and can't keep our hands off one another.0
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