Parenthood is it worth it?
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I have 4 kids - ages are 20, 17, 13, and 2 1/2 yrs. I've had 5 miscarriages and would like another one. My 2 1/2 yr old is a vampire child and likes to stay up until 4am most nights. You ask if it's worth it? Absolutely. There is not enough space here to tell you all the things I love about being a parent. (And yes, I'm aware space is created as you write lol) Seriously, not. enough. space.0
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Prior to children, 'Days of freedom'??? I didn't lose freedom when I became a parent, although I did gain new responsibilities and commitments.0
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I have 3 kids - all now grown adults.
Totally worth it for me, I never regretted it.
But it's not for everyone and if kids aren't for you, that's great too.0 -
This is MY thoughts and by no means am I telling others to think of it the same.
After being a world traveler and seeing some of the cruel world, I have decided for myself that it would seriously selfish of me to bring another soul to this world. Why should I put a kid through all the mess that is life for MY entertainment and joy? Sure, he might have an awesome life but he could also have an incredibly messed up. I am basically gambling on how his life turns out and that is not something I can do.
If there was ever an "accident" and I endup becoming a father, I would love and care for him but I am 30 and have no intention of bringing a child to this world after planning. I also think I am very horrible with kids and will be a terrible father so no, not for me.0 -
I decided as a teenager that I didn't want kids, and didn't particularly like them. Then at 32 I gave birth to the most wonderful miniature human and everything got better. He turned 9 last week and it still sometimes feels as though someone took my heart out of my chest and made it walk around independently. So worth it.0
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I have 8 sweet kids
I wanted 12 but that is not meant to be . I would not trade my kids for anything ever they are lifes greatest blessings on earth . 0 -
I never thought I had a motherly bone in my body. I never liked even liked playing with dolls. Now my baby is 17 and ready to grow up, go to university and start partying a bit (I hope less than me). I'm the so overly-cautious mum now but trying to to let him go.. it's so hard. I don't want to do it. Children change you for the better, less selfish. Yes they do make you poorer but they never stopped us as a couple doing anything. We had grandparents to look after them while we took off overseas. I can't wait to be a grandparent and do the same! It's going to be the BEST time of my life without a doubt.0
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Love is the answer.0
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My 3 year old is speech delayed. He doesn't have a very big vocabulary, his pronpuciation is off, he doesn't use complete sentences. A couple of months ago he starts saying "tell you sum fing mom. Wuv you mom."
I have a friend that was speech delayed. I could say that he grew up to be what the world classifies as "Normal", but I can't. He ended up getting a Phd in High Energy Particle Nuclear Physics. Needless to say, don't sweat the speech delay, especially if they have a chatty older sister. He said he didn't talk because he didn't have to.
As far as kids go, love mine. They take the best, and worst of you, and give it back to you when you least expect it.0 -
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I remind my parents daily that they only have one child to take care of them when they get old, so be nice to me. My family has a weird sense of humor, because all three of us find this hilarious. :laugh:0
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The fun of freedom is so not even close to the unspeakable joy of being called "Mama". I wish I'd given up a few years of freedom and started sooner. I adore, love, worship and cherish my little boy every second of every day, even when he's being obnoxious. I can hardly wait to give him brothers and sisters!
Awwwww....so sweet! I feel the same way about my 2! They are my world!0 -
To copycat the other posts:
I'm about to give up my 36 some years of carefree childless days in less than two months. I was thinking about some of this things I'll miss such as sleep, being able to travel at the drop of a hat and staying out all night.
What to is it about your kids that makes them so much more special then the days of freedom? Do you miss your freedom? Just want to hear your story about your adorable progeny, and how they've turned your life upside down for the better.
Totally worth it! Are you having a boy or a girl?0 -
To all the women having kids in their 30's AWESOME! And thank you for sharing!
Its funny how once you pass 25 you start feeling bad for not having kids.
At the moment I don't want kids, I am 28 and I may change my mind, but I anyways want to wait until I am in my 30's before deciding.0 -
I was 28 held my niece and knew I wanted my own. Life was great before kids but each one of my children has added so much more meaning and joy to my life. Don't get me wrong it's the toughest job I've ever experienced and these teen years are rough and scary. But it's amazing to think how a microscopic sperm and egg developed into human life and now you get to build memories and family history that will last lifetimes. My kids love that the tooth fairy left letters and the Easter Bunny left tracks of candy and carrots. Not one day goes by that My husband and I regret our choices even when I kid around with them and say "if I didn't have kids I wouldn't have to work". But if I didn't have kids there would be so much less joy in my life.0
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I had kids when I was 36 and 38. I never wanted them when I was younger and I am glad I waited because I was such an *kitten* when I was young! By the time I had them I was finaciallyt secure, I got all the partying and man chasing out of my system. I gave up being able to go out anytime in exchange for being able to love like I never knew I could! They make me so happy and they keep me honest. I have to set a good example for them. They are 18 and 20 now and we have been through a lot.
this is a great thread! Good luck with your little one and remember, they aren't teenagers forever! LOL0 -
Warning: for me, NOTHING hurts more than when my child hurts.
Watching them struggle? Incredibly difficult!
Watching them succeed? Exhilarating!
When my first son was born, I decided that my ultimate goal was to raise socially productive and independent people.
I'm the proud mom of 2 sons (will be 22 & 26 in a few weeks) and we had plenty (!) of hiccups along the way, but the goal has been met!!
I made tons of sacrifices, most without even realizing that I was sacrificing, others with mental kicking and screaming.
Now that they are grown, I'm doing many of the things that I didn't when I was "mommy" and it's terrific!
And I have two of the best friends anyone could ever have!
My only big regret is that their birthdays are so close together & so close to Christmas. But having them? Nope. Best decision I ever made.0 -
My kids are my world. My life would be very boring if I didn't have children. Even when they are making me pull my hair out, I enjoy every minute of it, because one day I will look at the 2 of them (soon to be 3) and they will be grown-up.0
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFQfylQ2Jgg&sns=fb
A little morning humor for those contemplating parenthood and those who are living it now!0 -
I've got 3 daughters - 11, 9, 9.
Parenting is hard work- painfully frustratingly hard. You never catch a break. Every episode of your child's life has new and exciting difficulties. I've spent my girls' childhoods looking forward to that next bend in the road, when things will be easier. Well, they're not easier, they're different. They're just as hard in new and exciting ways.
With that said, I get to spend every day with the only person I've ever been uncontrollably in love with, watching three of the most exciting, amazing, and spectacular people I've ever known - three of the best friends I've ever had, to be honest - grow from newborns into these beautiful young women. And I'm not only watching, I'm helping.
Do I miss my pre-children days? Almost never. I never miss the places I used to go but don't anymore. But there are times when I'm at places where there's no way in hell I'd ever go without kids (think Chuckee Cheese) and I feel that little niggle that says, "If you just hadn't knocked her up…" At the same time, my kids get taken to places I want to go where they think, "If only I had a different dad…", so we're even.
For me, parenthood is worth every tear, every struggle, every meltdown, it's simply worth it all. I'm not that great of a dad, nor am I some spectacular husband. So I struggle with it all. I fail often. And there are many nights I go to bed hoping I haven't scarred my children or given them their first adulthood therapy topic. I suppose that's all part of parenting. You know you've had a good day when you go to bed with the same number of kids you woke up with. You know you've had a great day when you've made it to bed time without giving your kids fodder for their eventual therapist. Still, I love it, I cherish it, and through every moment of pain and struggle, I cannot imagine any other way.
If this helps, here's a little prayer I say quite often: "Dear God - Please grant me the strength to cope with my Blessings."
OP, I hope this helps. Just remember, you don't have to be a perfect person to be a spectacular parent.0 -
I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
SAME! I have 3 dogs and that's good enough.0 -
Im 22 and had my first son as 20 and second at 21, Im done now lol. I was never into partying and staying out so I dont miss that. I moved from my partners parents house with our 4 week old first son so had a newborn and a first home at the same time, I had PND with my second which im taking meds for but in general being a mum is great. I hate when they are hurt/have jabs. When my oldest had chicken pox I hated it , he was sick and led out on the sofa for days and i wished I could have the illness instead of him. Id love a new BABY but not a new CHILD so thats why im done with having kids. I love the baby stage but toddlers/older children are hard work. My partner has an 11yr old son too and Iv been around him since he was 6 so Iv handled kids of all ages. It is tough sometimes but at the end of the day when they want a cuddle and say "mummy/daddy" its all worth it0
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this is an ignorant statement.......animals are just as much responsibility.......seriously.......please reevaluate yourself.I'll never have children because I don't want to give up the life of a non-parent. I decided this when I was a teen and have stuck to it.
SAME! I have 3 dogs and that's good enough.
calm down. They never said dogs are less responsibility. They said they have dogs and that is enough.0 -
To copycat the other posts:
I'm about to give up my 36 some years of carefree childless days in less than two months. I was thinking about some of this things I'll miss such as sleep, being able to travel at the drop of a hat and staying out all night.
What to is it about your kids that makes them so much more special then the days of freedom? Do you miss your freedom? Just want to hear your story about your adorable progeny, and how they've turned your life upside down for the better.
I had my first daughter 2 months before I turned 32, and my second this past July. I can honestly tell you that while I can look back on my pre-child time with fondness/nostalgia (and perhaps a teeny bit of longing!) that I wouldn't give them up for the world. My 21mo tests the limits of my patience daily, and my LO is very needy, but I cannot imagine life without them now that they're here. They're maddening, amazing, exhausting, curious, lively little beings that fill my world.
I am glad I waited until my 30s to have children- I partied, I traveled, I did all the things I wanted to do; I have no regrets, I do not feel as though I missed out on anything.
While the initial lack of sleep sucks, it doesn't last long. It will be over before you know it! And, in the last few weeks of pregnancy, one gets so little sleep (and then NO sleep at the hospital), that a solid 3 hours between feedings feels amazing.
Congrats lady! It will change your life! :flowerforyou:0 -
Well said!!! and so accurate!DD: "I love you Mommy."
Me: "I love you MORE".
DD: "No, I love you more."
Me: "Sweetie, you can't imagine just how much Mommy loves you until you have a baby of your own."
So worth it!
It is an all encompassing love when it comes to my babies (16, 11, and 10). I have a special needs son, who will never live on his own, but I would move heaven and earth for him. I feel the same way about both my daughters. This feeling that parents have for their children isn't something that is easily definable. I have given up a lot of freedom, especially with my son, but I wouldn't trade it for my pre-child life for anything. It has shown me just how much I can love and how much I can hurt.
But I am realistic enough to say that yes, I do miss my pre-child life sometimes. And to help with that I would suggest don't forget to try and schedule some time for you. Most people I would think would agree with me here, that having children in your life means you have to have some sort of schedule in your life, don't forget to schedule some "me time" too.
And yes it is OK if you don't want to have children, it really isn't something for everyone. Or even something that everyone HAS to do.
Gonna borrow an old jingle here (thank you Peace Corp)... " Parenthood, the toughest job you will ever love"0 -
To all the women having kids in their 30's AWESOME! And thank you for sharing!
Its funny how once you pass 25 you start feeling bad for not having kids.
At the moment I don't want kids, I am 28 and I may change my mind, but I anyways want to wait until I am in my 30's before deciding.
Neither my husband or I wanted children until we met each other.... I was 30 and he was 33. On our second date, we had the "i don't want kids" discussion. Five weeks after our first date, he told me was going to marry me. A week later, we were talking about possible baby names. Six weeks after that, we were pregnant. 0 -
Make sure you have good support so that you can continue to do the things you love doing. It's not an "either/or" thing. A happy mom makes for happy kids....0
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short answer - that is something everyone needs to determine for themselves..
for me.. yes, so worth it..0 -
There's a lot of genetic abnormalities in my family...so my sister and I made a pact when we were younger to not have children. She's 35 and I'm 31. I love the children in my family to death, but I'm happy without kids of my own. It's a choice for everyone. Let's not assume everyone wants them. Those that have them, should love them with all their hearts though.0
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You literally cannot explain the sheer joy you feel as a parent when coming home after a long $hitty day and the minute you walk in the door your 2 year-old Screams "DADDY! (or MOMMY!) and runs full speed across the room to throw themselves at you in a big hug.
My wife and I tag-teamed a soul-crushingly long 9 months of a baby who didn't sleep through the night, switching off with the kid, first for bottles, then for crying over lost pacifiers and blankets.
None of those nights sleeping on the floor while they were teething and miserable matter when you go to leave or put them to bed and they say 'Love you Daddy, me kisses?" and "Twinkle Star Please?"
THIS!!!! PERFECT!0
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