Parenthood is it worth it?
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CHildren bring the greatest joy as well as the biggest heartbreak to your life. You cannot imagine that you could possibly love someone that much until you have one of your own. You will find that you would literaly do anything to take away their hurt. I had my first at 37, and no I don't miss my pre-children days. I played enough before I got married and had children that I've got good memories. Children bring other great memories.0
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actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
While I sort of agree with you, I have to say that I wouldn't call myself a parent if all I had was my pets. I don't have to shell out a few hundred dollars a month to have my cat on my cell phone plan.
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We had a completely planned pregnancy, but I *hated* it, and I *hated* my daughter when she was born and about a year afterwards. There are still fleeting moments when I regret having her (she's almost 3). BUT - I had severe antenatal and post-partum depression, and it was made worse by people telling me "oh, you'll love her as soon as she's born and you look into her eyes" - because I didn't love her then.
Once I started on meds (at a year), it changed. For the most part, I wouldn't give her up for the world, but sometimes the depression triggers and I get those fleeting moments. I just remember her smiles and hugs, and it gets me through the worst parts.
long story short: even if you don't love your baby at first sight - it will come although it may take a long time...
I feel for you because I was there for a while. I didn't get meds, but my family was afraid to leave her alone with me for a while. I thought I was broken because I didn't love her as soon as I saw her, and people were telling me the same things they were telling you.0 -
actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
Yes. Yes, they do.
Or they are not a parent.
But your lame attempts at trolling aside, pet ownership IS qualitatively different to parenthood. If you don't understand this simple fact, then I pity your children (the human ones, I mean....)0 -
Smart *kitten*-ery aside, ;0) I'm a mom of 4 but I started young and gave up my freedom by 25. I do love my kids, but not sure I'd do that again. My husband and I only had a very few short years before our relationship went from being all about us to all about them. I think that was really the hardest part.
I *adored* my babies as babies. I was a great baby mom. Toddlers and preschoolers were tough for me because I'm not the most patient person in the world and human beings that are obstinate and unreasonable 95% of their waking hours are difficult to manage for impatient people. Now that everyone can speak in full sentences and control their bodily functions (ages 8 to 14), we get along pretty well. Although I maintain that sibling bickering is the definition of hell and I probably would have been a bang up mom if I'd stopped at one.
The sleep deprivation sucks balls but holidays are a lot more fun. Traveling will blow for a decade. I'd advise you to skip it all together and save your money for a friggin' FANTASTIC vacation when the kid turns 10 or 12. The toys are fun. Your photography will improve (because kids inherently look cute in pictures) until they hit the awkward tween stage. Go to the grocery store ALONE, even if that means you go at 1 a.m. Don't stop having sex, even if it's just quickies for the next four years. Don't buy goldfish because those g*da*n things are addictive and have 100,000 calories per handful.
I think that's it. Enjoy.
:ohwell: 17 month old pushing impatient Mommy's buttons....
Thanks for this post. I am glad I am not alone. Right now I am toying with the "will I be a better Mommy if I only have one?" thought process......
I appreciate your honesty. 0 -
actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
Trolling - level expert.0 -
actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
I guess I don't have to know if you're a parent or not. I know that if my parents equated their love for me to their love for the family dog, I would be pissed.0 -
I woke up last weekend and decided I was going to drive 4 hours to Philly to get Amish donuts from Reading Terminal Market. Yesterday I got back home and did nothing but enjoy watching sports uninterrupted the rest of the night. Today I'm thinking of going hiking if it doesn't snow.
All these are things my best friend wanted to do but couldn't cause he is anchored down by the responsibility of being a good Dad. And that would be my worry if I ever had kids is wanting to do the best for them and how much that would take away from me being me.
Some people lead boring lives and kids tend to introduce excitement, so that might definitely be worth it for them. It's like a play doll that you have to keep alive.
I love kids but that might have something to do with the fact that I get to enjoy engaging them in limited amounts, because I have the option of giving them back to their parents and going to do other things.
For me currently, kids are not even close to being worth it.0 -
actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
Trolling - level expert.
Or, level lame.
It's enjoyable though whilst work is quiet.....0 -
wrong.having pets make you a parent and they replied in such a way that said they aren't ready to be parents.....read the entire thing quote.
Seriously? It doesn't.
Having kids and allowing yourself to grow as they grow makes you a parent.
Having pets makes you a pet owner, no matter how much you love your little fluffy-wuffy munchkins. Fact.
the people I know dress their pets, kiss their pets.....let them sleep in the bed with them.....buy them gifts.....train them.....watch them.....take them on vacation with them....etc I could go on..
kids???????????????????
and seriously people......I'm chilling at work and replying.......geez its no biggie LOL you guys need to evaluate yourself here.
I always thought of my cats as my children, (and still do- Zina Nina is my furry four legged kid) BUT- pets, while being members of the family and like perpetual toddlers, do not talk back. Do not willfully disobey and push every button you have.every.single.day. At least, not if they're decently trained.
It is different, though I wouldn't expect those who have fur-children but not human children to understand that. I *thought* I knew things about kids, childrearing and such.... and then I had kids. And, I'm still learning, but my girls have changed my outlook on a lot of things.
Agreed. It's the complex psychology of child-rearing that makes it sooooo different from pet-rearing. Although, I find cats come very close.
Somewhat OT, but I had an employee of mine make the comment "really? You aren't the nurturing, mothering type" when I gave the news that I was pregnant... I laughed and told her she obviously never saw me with my cats! I used to call myself the 'catmom' because they were my babies. Still are (well, is, I only have one now) but it's nothing like having an actual human being.0 -
From the perspective of being a mother for almost 30 years, yes it is definately worth it.
It isn't always easy, but very well worth it! She is now my best friend.0 -
I woke up last weekend and decided I was going to drive 4 hours to Philly to get Amish donuts from Reading Terminal Market. Yesterday I got back home and did nothing but enjoy watching sports uninterrupted the rest of the night. Today I'm thinking of going hiking if it doesn't snow.
All these are things my best friend wanted to do but couldn't cause he is anchored down by the responsibility of being a good Dad. And that would be my worry if I ever had kids is wanting to do the best for them and how much that would take away from me being me.
Some people lead boring lives and kids tend to introduce excitement, so that might definitely be worth it for them. It's like a play doll that you have to keep alive.
I love kids but that might have something to do with the fact that I get to enjoy engaging them in limited amounts, because I have the option of giving them back to their parents and going to do other things.
For me currently, kids are not even close to being worth it.
There is so much truth in this! Speaking from experience, yes, there are tons of things I miss doing. But now that I have the baby to care for, even if I had a babysitter to watch her so I could go out on the town, 9/10 times I think I would just rather sleep and enjoy silence for a while! Hahaha.0 -
I'm not going to lie and say that there aren't times when I think . . . "ugh! I just want to go to happy hour!" or "Why can't I find a babysitter or why is the babysitter so expensive? I just want to go out!" However, those things are so minor as compared the how full he makes my life. He's 4 now, so we're planning on another . . . we wouldn't do it if the benefits didn't outweight the responsibilities. Yes, he's stubborn and defiant, but he's also sweet and smart and loving and empathetic and he carries just an infective light that seeps into the very soul of me. We start every day in the kitchen where he hears me downstairs and joins me, I scoop him up and hold him tight and give him kisses and say "Good morning love, I'm so happy to see you today." I am grateful for his presence in my lift.
That's not to say that come bed time I'm not getting him into bed so that I can run downstairs to pour myself a glass of wine and have some time to myself . . . both are important.
For us, it was important to take him along so that life didn't change THAT MUCH. Before him we went out on date night every Friday, 4 weeks after he was born our date night grew by 1 little body. We'd strap him on and take him the the wineries with us or whatever . . . we were the people who had the baby in the bar, sleeping in the babyhawk. He's not so easy to take along anymore, so now we do a lot of entertaining in our home or going over to other people's houses. Dinner party? Okay, lets take his blanket and bunny and pack n play and everyone goes! He'll still fall asleep anywhere that he has a proper bed and his blanket and bunny.
I used to travel for work and if I was going somewhere interesting the boy and my mom would come with me, if not my MIL would come down and spend a week with her boys. I don't travel for work anymore, but he still does great for long car rides (8 hours or more - especially if we drive in the middle of the night) and I get excited at the prospect of him getting older and sharing the world together.
We're missing out on so little, and have gained so much.
That being said, I always wanted to have kids. He was part of my plan and I had him when I was 31 and expected to have kids before then, so when I didn't have him I felt like I was missing out on so much.0 -
wrong.having pets make you a parent and they replied in such a way that said they aren't ready to be parents.....read the entire thing quote.
Seriously? It doesn't.
Having kids and allowing yourself to grow as they grow makes you a parent.
Having pets makes you a pet owner, no matter how much you love your little fluffy-wuffy munchkins. Fact.
the people I know dress their pets, kiss their pets.....let them sleep in the bed with them.....buy them gifts.....train them.....watch them.....take them on vacation with them....etc I could go on..
kids???????????????????
and seriously people......I'm chilling at work and replying.......geez its no biggie LOL you guys need to evaluate yourself here.
I always thought of my cats as my children, (and still do- Zina Nina is my furry four legged kid) BUT- pets, while being members of the family and like perpetual toddlers, do not talk back. Do not willfully disobey and push every button you have.every.single.day. At least, not if they're decently trained.
It is different, though I wouldn't expect those who have fur-children but not human children to understand that. I *thought* I knew things about kids, childrearing and such.... and then I had kids. And, I'm still learning, but my girls have changed my outlook on a lot of things.
Agreed. It's the complex psychology of child-rearing that makes it sooooo different from pet-rearing. Although, I find cats come very close.
Somewhat OT, but I had an employee of mine make the comment "really? You aren't the nurturing, mothering type" when I gave the news that I was pregnant... I laughed and told her she obviously never saw me with my cats! I used to call myself the 'catmom' because they were my babies. Still are (well, is, I only have one now) but it's nothing like having an actual human being.
Agreed. Cats don't possess the ability to tell you they hate you when you take their favorite toy (roll of toilet paper) away.0 -
actually it hasn't so far.....if you had read back then you would know if I was a parent but you already made the conclusion that my opinion differs from the majority and how did you do that and missed my reply? haha
That still does not make them parents. Nobody is getting all worked up. It's your opinion, but it just happens to be different that most of the people on here. Do you have kids?
I'm playing.......geez people are touchy
and yes it does....a parent doesn't have to have a human child.
Trolling - level expert.
Or, level lame.
It's enjoyable though whilst work is quiet.....
it's funny when someone disagrees with you....they are a troll.
Awesome, feels like middle school again, no wonder why so many people have emotional, mental disorders anymore.
Everyone disagrees with me normally - they can't all be trolls surely?
What has mental health got to do with it? Why bandy it around so glibly in a thread where people have honest divulged their struggles with PND and the like? See, nonsense like this is why I think you are a lame-arsed troll.0 -
First off, Congratulations!!
I have one child - a daughter, almost 15 years old; I waited till I was 32 - BEST decision of my life - I was old/mature enough to deal with the 'stuff' that comes with having a child - the sleepless nights, the selflessness, the COST of everything - you name it......!
I don't miss anything - I was never a 'party animal' - would much rather spend a quiet night at home with my family.
BUT - as much as I love having a child - I respect peoples' decision NOT to have children.
There's so many unwanted children - I'm glad people have taken time to think this issue over and make an educated choice.
Parenthood is NOT for everyone - it's just not - for a gazillion reasons. And - if you're not completely up for it - maybe you shouldn't have kids.0 -
Cheap entertainment. Also you get to play with toys again and no one looks at you funny.
Love this one!! Might actually make me consider having some some day... 0 -
My son is my life and I wouldn't change a thing! So yes it is definitely worth it!!!0
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Cheap entertainment. Also you get to play with toys again and no one looks at you funny.
Love this one!! Might actually make me consider having some some day...
Yeah... and you get to see all those awesome animated movies without getting funny looks too!0 -
Disclaimer - I only read through about half of the first page of this thread.
That said, I don't know what everyone is talking about. I have two boys, 15 months apart, 6 and almost 5. I work full-time and have to travel internationally A LOT for work.
It's all about setting priorities. I took my kids on their first plane trip before they were 6 months old. They are VERY good travelers. They've been on multiple cruises, to bourbon street at night, I just set the rules and they know what is expected.
Additionally, I leave them too. I've been on numerous trips without them and they know working out is a priority, so mostly they are the last kids picked up from daycare cause "Mamma's at the gym".
I don't want to judge anyone else's situation, but I make my priorities and don't use excuses.
Good luck! Parenthood is the toughest job in the world, but the rewards are so worth it.0
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