Living with an unhealthy eater
Replies
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If you don't do something now , you will regret it, I have a friend that has been trying to lose the same 30lbs for 8 years, her husband is always trying to sabotage her , and she is not getting any younger, much harder to lose as you age. In my house I set the example , if I say no eating out and my husband still wants to go , he goes without me.
When someone alters their behaviors for another, it is because they honor the relationship and the needs of their family member. I participate in things I find boring as hell because my husband likes my company (home improvement shows: ugh. He's in construction, we don't own a home).
Just imagine you and your friend are both smokers. You both acknowledge that smoking is unhealthy. Then the friend makes a real effort to quit smoking. Out of respect for your friend you will refrain from lighting up in front of them.
Only a real d!ck would light up in front of their friend despite their request not to. That is obviously a troubled relationship.
Even so, the person trying to quit smoking isn't going to tear a cigarette out of their friends mouth and throw all of their cigarettes in the trash.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
Yep, bizarre.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
You threw his stuff away. It isn't like he made some sacrifice for you. You're just demanding and enforcing mandates.0 -
Wow, some of these women have control issues. If you could only control yourself around food as good as you control your man. Yet if a man came on here and said he controlled what his wife ate, the women be like "no he didn't". :noway:
There was a thread the other day where a man was concerned for his wife's health and was seeking advice about how to get her to eat healthy. He got that exact response.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
I say each to their own, but as someone who doesn't buy into the concept of clean eating (it's not for me, I'd prefer to be balanced between whats good for me, whats handy and what I like but as I say each to their own and I do see the appeal)
I *am* a little offended that you liken that to drug use, smoking and racism. It's absolutely not the same. Not at all. I think that view is far too black and white, and there is a lot of grey here for most of us. I'm grey here - i'm not a druggie or a racist or a smoker, but I like the odd 'dirty' food.
I don't think the categorisation helps your case - and it's one of the reason 'clean' eaters do get attacked on here - that superiority.0 -
So, I have been trying to change my lifestyle for the past 4 months now and it seems nearly impossible. I work in an office for 8 hours a day (which the only physical activity I get at work is walking to and from the printer... pathetic, I know) I bring healthy lunches, and eat a healthy breakfast every morning, but when I get home there's a box of Krispy Kreme donuts sitting on the counter that my boyfriend decided to pick up. Every weekend he's wanting to order pizza or stop by the burger joint that's next to our house, so we don't have to cook. It is the MOST difficult thing ever to try and resist the pizza and the treats when its in the house! I've been trying to motivate him so that we can do this together, (he could stand to lose a few pounds too) but it always seems to back fire! Are there any suggestions on what I should do, or what I can change?! I know the obvious choice is to resist the goodies, but it drives me insane trying to do this on my own without any support!
P.S.- Ive gained 25 pounds in the past 6 months- at this rate, I'm rapidly moving towards obesity! HELP!
Also, my profile picture is definitely not recent. Its my motivation picture. That was me at 120lbs0 -
If you don't do something now , you will regret it, I have a friend that has been trying to lose the same 30lbs for 8 years, her husband is always trying to sabotage her , and she is not getting any younger, much harder to lose as you age. In my house I set the example , if I say no eating out and my husband still wants to go , he goes without me.
When someone alters their behaviors for another, it is because they honor the relationship and the needs of their family member. I participate in things I find boring as hell because my husband likes my company (home improvement shows: ugh. He's in construction, we don't own a home).
Just imagine you and your friend are both smokers. You both acknowledge that smoking is unhealthy. Then the friend makes a real effort to quit smoking. Out of respect for your friend you will refrain from lighting up in front of them.
Only a real d!ck would light up in front of their friend despite their request not to. That is obviously a troubled relationship.
I will point out that you, not he, threw the cake away...
Oh, snap!0 -
Did anyone understand the post? It wasn't a post about me blaming my significant other for my choices, it was explaining my scenario and asking for advice to make better choices. The obvious choice is to NOT EAT it, but advice on how YOU PERSONALLY motivated yourself and got through it would be a little bit more helpful rather than criticizing for "being controlling" when that's not the situation at all.
It's simply a matter of what's more important to you. You will follow your true desire.0 -
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone mentions that she doesn't let her husband keep junk in the house, and in another comment specifically mentions that if she's alone she will binge eat (which is actually considered an eating disorder), and instead of being shown love and support she is ripped a new a-hole. Instead of people talking to her and trying to encourage her to find a happy medium she is torn into and ridiculed because she made a choice in her house (that her husband is obviously okay with because he supports her, not because he's whipped) that helped her with the binge-eating problem she was having. People make comments about how she must not have children, or how her husband will end up being fat when she already said that he is now eating healthier. How absolutely demeaning and presumptuous is that?
I'm absolutely put off by the comments in this thread and am shocked at the lack of love and support. We are all here together to help reach our goals and help our lives be better. It's not about keeping a perfect public diary so that everyone can bask in your ability to stay disciplined. It's about supporting each other -- something I'm seeing a HUGE lack of in this post.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
Isn't it your husband's home as well? But he doesn't get to relax and enjoy the foods he likes to eat in it?
You have major control issues, and your husband is putting up with it. /story0 -
oh man I hear you there sistah! My husband is the same! He could stand to lose a few pounds too, but thats up to him. I need to take ownership of my goals and not expect anyone to help me or keep me from meeting those goals. Its up to me, day-in and day-out to make the choices that are right for me. With my husband its hard because he always wants burgers and fries, or fried chicken or pizza or pasta and its all delicious but not quite what I should be eating on a regular basis if I'm trying to cut down on my calorie intake. I think I need to just tell him to cook his own food and I'll make my own and we can still eat together, just be eating different dinners. That way he is happy and I am happy and maybe, just maybe, he'll see me lose weight and then want to make healthier choices when he eats too! You can't make anyone do something they dont want to do, but you can show them the benefits by demonstrating in your own behavior.
Plus I've just realized the only way Im going to get a workout in and feel good (not guilty with every bite I put in my mouth throughout the day) is if I work out in the morning. 30 - 45 min in the morning is all it takes! Do that, and you can afford to eat pizza with your man every now and then!0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
Shocked! I am SHOCKED!
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Food shop for the week and then plan to cook meals at home .... also don't eat at work unless you bring it from home --- i keep protein bars in my desk in case i get some extra hunger that needs to be squashed --- better that than candy from someone's desk jar0
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I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
I say each to their own, but as someone who doesn't buy into the concept of clean eating (it's not for me, I'd prefer to be balanced between whats good for me, whats handy and what I like but as I say each to their own and I do see the appeal)
I *am* a little offended that you liken that to drug use, smoking and racism. It's absolutely not the same. Not at all.I think that view is far too black and white, and there is a lot of grey here for most of us. I'm grey here - i'm not a druggie or a racist or a smoker, but I like the odd 'dirty' food.
I don't think the categorisation helps your case - and it's one of the reason 'clean' eaters do get attacked on here - that superiority.
I wonder where you come down on the whole "food addict" thing.
Were you here when there were many individuals that stated that being "addicted" to food is the same thing as narcotics? (yes, absolutely!)0 -
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone mentions that she doesn't let her husband keep junk in the house, and in another comment specifically mentions that if she's alone she will binge eat (which is actually considered an eating disorder), and instead of being shown love and support she is ripped a new a-hole. Instead of people talking to her and trying to encourage her to find a happy medium she is torn into and ridiculed because she made a choice in her house (that her husband is obviously okay with because he supports her, not because he's whipped) that helped her with the binge-eating problem she was having. People make comments about how she must not have children, or how her husband will end up being fat when she already said that he is now eating healthier. How absolutely demeaning and presumptuous is that?
I'm absolutely put off by the comments in this thread and am shocked at the lack of love and support. We are all here together to help reach our goals and help our lives be better. It's not about keeping a perfect public diary so that everyone can bask in your ability to stay disciplined. It's about supporting each other -- something I'm seeing a HUGE lack of in this post.
Its how she posted how demanding she is and her word is final that most likely caused the backlash.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
I say each to their own, but as someone who doesn't buy into the concept of clean eating (it's not for me, I'd prefer to be balanced between whats good for me, whats handy and what I like but as I say each to their own and I do see the appeal)
I *am* a little offended that you liken that to drug use, smoking and racism. It's absolutely not the same. Not at all.I think that view is far too black and white, and there is a lot of grey here for most of us. I'm grey here - i'm not a druggie or a racist or a smoker, but I like the odd 'dirty' food.
I don't think the categorisation helps your case - and it's one of the reason 'clean' eaters do get attacked on here - that superiority.
I wonder where you come down on the whole "food addict" thing.
Were you here when there were many individuals that stated that being "addicted" to food is the same thing as narcotics? (yes, absolutely!)
food addiction and clean eating vs 'dirty' (hate that term, I'd prefer to call it 'normal' but it's not normal for everyone) are NOT the same argument and it's ridiculous to claim that they are.0 -
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone mentions that she doesn't let her husband keep junk in the house, and in another comment specifically mentions that if she's alone she will binge eat (which is actually considered an eating disorder), and instead of being shown love and support she is ripped a new a-hole. Instead of people talking to her and trying to encourage her to find a happy medium she is torn into and ridiculed because she made a choice in her house (that her husband is obviously okay with because he supports her, not because he's whipped) that helped her with the binge-eating problem she was having. People make comments about how she must not have children, or how her husband will end up being fat when she already said that he is now eating healthier. How absolutely demeaning and presumptuous is that?
I'm absolutely put off by the comments in this thread and am shocked at the lack of love and support. We are all here together to help reach our goals and help our lives be better. It's not about keeping a perfect public diary so that everyone can bask in your ability to stay disciplined. It's about supporting each other -- something I'm seeing a HUGE lack of in this post.
How absolutely demanding and presumptuous are her house rules? PP never expressed any concern over her lack of will power, but instead likens it to alcoholism. She simply cannot exert any willpower over herself whatsoever, and it is all the junk food's fault. Or her husband's for leaving it in the house.
Sorry, I don't enable.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
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I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
It's not your desire to eliminate foods from your home. It's your desire to force others to do it. if your husband also agrees and also wants it, that's great, but I'm pretty sure you started off all "I am woman, hear me roarz, that man don't get none here" and THAT is the biggest issue. If you've come to it together - then, meh, to each their own. I'm more of a moderation sort, but I do lean toward trying to have more fresh fruits and vegetables in the home. But, if the husband wants doughnuts, that's his choice and he can - why? because he's an adult. Just because I don't want one, doesn't mean he can't bring them in the house.
Illicit/illegal drugs are really quite different than foods. And smoke can add odor and do damage that way. So they aren't actually equivalent comparisons at all.
And really - did you just compare banning certain foods to banning racial slurs?
There really are no words for that one.0 -
I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone mentions that she doesn't let her husband keep junk in the house, and in another comment specifically mentions that if she's alone she will binge eat (which is actually considered an eating disorder), and instead of being shown love and support she is ripped a new a-hole.
The idea of a woman "not letting" her husband do anything is pretty bad.
When "I don't let my husband keep cake in the house" becomes "I literally throw away my husband's cake after he asks me not to" is when the line has been crossed to crazytown.
That is simply unacceptable behavior.0 -
The lovely miss Bloom has said it better than I could, so to you... I'm just going to say.I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone mentions that she doesn't let her husband keep junk in the house, and in another comment specifically mentions that if she's alone she will binge eat (which is actually considered an eating disorder), and instead of being shown love and support she is ripped a new a-hole. Instead of people talking to her and trying to encourage her to find a happy medium she is torn into and ridiculed because she made a choice in her house (that her husband is obviously okay with because he supports her, not because he's whipped) that helped her with the binge-eating problem she was having. People make comments about how she must not have children, or how her husband will end up being fat when she already said that he is now eating healthier. How absolutely demeaning and presumptuous is that?
I'm absolutely put off by the comments in this thread and am shocked at the lack of love and support. We are all here together to help reach our goals and help our lives be better. It's not about keeping a perfect public diary so that everyone can bask in your ability to stay disciplined. It's about supporting each other -- something I'm seeing a HUGE lack of in this post.
Also... More shock!!
SHOCKED!
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I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
I say each to their own, but as someone who doesn't buy into the concept of clean eating (it's not for me, I'd prefer to be balanced between whats good for me, whats handy and what I like but as I say each to their own and I do see the appeal)
I *am* a little offended that you liken that to drug use, smoking and racism. It's absolutely not the same. Not at all.I think that view is far too black and white, and there is a lot of grey here for most of us. I'm grey here - i'm not a druggie or a racist or a smoker, but I like the odd 'dirty' food.
I don't think the categorisation helps your case - and it's one of the reason 'clean' eaters do get attacked on here - that superiority.
I wonder where you come down on the whole "food addict" thing.
Were you here when there were many individuals that stated that being "addicted" to food is the same thing as narcotics? (yes, absolutely!)
food addiction and clean eating vs 'dirty' (hate that term, I'd prefer to call it 'normal' but it's not normal for everyone) are NOT the same argument and it's ridiculous to claim that they are.
If food "addiction" is possible (hence my previous comment), someone throwing away a cake due to their addiction is not a "clean" vs. "dirty" eating scenario (regardless of how you try to spin it).
Note: This is not to imply that is what the poster is claiming occurred in this instance.0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
Eh, I feel like people are really not giving your husband enough credit here. I assume he is a strong, confident adult male who could also "put his foot down" if necessary and this is KIND OF a joint choice. I could be wrong, but that's what I'd assume. I don't know too many men who would just say "oh I'm so sad wifey won't let me have my Oreos, I'm just gonna sit here and cry and never eat them even at work or when I'm away from her...or she will divorce me".
Nah. I don't think he's probably thinking that.0 -
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health.
To hell with what your husband wants! It's YOUR HOME, and if he breaks any rules you will throw his stuff in the dumpster!0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
My husband is fully on board with clean eating. We occasionally indulge in sweets out of the house. Hell there are 4 (yes FOUR!) fast food places across the street from our apartments. There are dozens more within a 2 mile radius as we live in a dense urban area. Getting some sugary treats is not complicated or difficult or inconvenient. Burgerville isn't going to cut me off if I should want to spend my money there (or dairy queen or Baskin Robbins or Starbucks or Shair's Pies or...well you get the idea).
I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health. Here I can relax and enjoy the plethora of foods that won't kill me. It is not necessary for me to load up on chemical, gmo, HFCS, transfat laden foods in my own home.
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
I say each to their own, but as someone who doesn't buy into the concept of clean eating (it's not for me, I'd prefer to be balanced between whats good for me, whats handy and what I like but as I say each to their own and I do see the appeal)
I *am* a little offended that you liken that to drug use, smoking and racism. It's absolutely not the same. Not at all.I think that view is far too black and white, and there is a lot of grey here for most of us. I'm grey here - i'm not a druggie or a racist or a smoker, but I like the odd 'dirty' food.
I don't think the categorisation helps your case - and it's one of the reason 'clean' eaters do get attacked on here - that superiority.
I wonder where you come down on the whole "food addict" thing.
Were you here when there were many individuals that stated that being "addicted" to food is the same thing as narcotics? (yes, absolutely!)
food addiction and clean eating vs 'dirty' (hate that term, I'd prefer to call it 'normal' but it's not normal for everyone) are NOT the same argument and it's ridiculous to claim that they are.
If food "addiction" is possible (hence my previous comment), someone throwing away a cake due to their addiction is not a "clean" vs. "dirty" eating scenario (regardless of whether that's how you try to spin it).
Note: This is not to imply that is what the poster is claiming occurred in this instance.
The posters claims about 'I choose to make my home a sanctuary of health' etc and citation that her hubby supports clean eating, then goes on to slate everyone who isn't clean eating as being likened to drug users and racists is what i'm reacting to.
Food addiction doesn't enter into it there.
Food addiction I've seen people have and that's different. But still, throwing away someone elses portion of your 'poison' isn't really what I'd call reasonable behaviour.0 -
I would definitely like to see a bit more genuine compassion in most of the posts around here, but honestly first and foremost this entire site is about accountability. Allowing this tread to pass without remark is tacit approval that as a community, we support someone attempting to control the behavior of everyone around them, and their environment at all times vs.the accountability of their own actions.It's fundamentally against the entire concept of long term success.
I'm not trying to be an *kitten*, or even trying for tough love... this IS compassion, if poorly presented.
She will NEVER control her surroundings and the people around her long term; supporting someone who predicates their long term success on such a behavior is a very, very special kind of cruelty.0 -
My boyfriend does the same thing, despite being totally supportive of my weight loss goals. He doesn't need to lose any weight, and even if he did, I wouldn't expect him to change his ways. Some people are just like that.
What I do is simply give him a spot to put all of his junk food items that's out of the way, like a specific cupboard or a corner on the counter, and make him put away the pizza/donuts/fried chicken so that they're not just lying about. If I look into the fridge and I see a pizza box, but then I see my healthy foods next to it, I feel a lot less tempted to grab the pizza.
Over this summer, he and I worked similar hours at the same place and we took lunch together often. I always packed myself a healthy lunch, but he'd conveniently "forget" to pack a lunch and would insist that he needed to go to McDonald's to get food. When this would happen, I'd simply be sure to eat my lunch ahead of time so I'm not hungry anymore and follow him so he could get his greasy, fattening food. He'd sometimes insist that I get something too, so he's not the only one eating, in which case I'd get a bottle of water or something small and relatively not fattening.
It can be a challenge, but you can do it! Just moving things out of your immediate site or eating before he insists on going somewhere unhealthy can do a lot for you to keep you determined and away from bad foods. Good luck!0 -
I am shocked at how many people are having visceral reactions to my desire to eliminate junk foods from my home. This speaks to the disordered way we deal with health and food in our society.
....
I also don't let people use illicit drugs in my home (family included) or smoke cigarettes or other tobacco products. I also don't permit racial slurs be used within our walls.
It's not your desire to eliminate foods from your home. It's your desire to force others to do it. if your husband also agrees and also wants it, that's great, but I'm pretty sure you started off all "I am woman, hear me roarz, that man don't get none here" and THAT is the biggest issue. If you've come to it together - then, meh, to each their own. I'm more of a moderation sort, but I do lean toward trying to have more fresh fruits and vegetables in the home. But, if the husband wants doughnuts, that's his choice and he can - why? because he's an adult. Just because I don't want one, doesn't mean he can't bring them in the house.
Illicit/illegal drugs are really quite different than foods. And smoke can add odor and do damage that way. So they aren't actually equivalent comparisons at all.
And really - did you just compare banning certain foods to banning racial slurs?
There really are no words for that one.
Well, to be fair, I think she just mentioned those other dictates of hers to further illustrate her control issues for us.
I (for one) am extremely grateful.0 -
The only thing you can change is yourself - it sounds trite, but it's true!
My friends eat what they want when we go out, and it doesn't bother me now...but it takes time to form a habit. I used to get "dessert envy" but I just had to remind myself that I had a goal, that I could eat a huge dessert if I wanted but I was choosing not to.
I found that calorie logging, via the MFP app, really helped curb my sugar cravings...scanning something and seeing it take me over my goal was a real motivator to not eat it!
At the end of the day, it's about choice.0 -
Last year we ended up with a lot of leftover cake after a graduation celebration. It was a full sheet cake, so it was huge and I couldn't resist it. I pleaded with my husband to throw it away while we were cleaning up after the party. He refused. I kept going back to that damn cake. By the next day I took it upon myself to toss it in the nearest dumpster.Only a real d!ck would light up in front of their friend despite their request not to.
So what you're saying about your husband is...........0 -
The only thing you can change is yourself - it sounds trite, but it's true!
My friends eat what they want when we go out, and it doesn't bother me now...but it takes time to form a habit. I used to get "dessert envy" but I just had to remind myself that I had a goal, that I could eat a huge dessert if I wanted but I was choosing not to.
I found that calorie logging, via the MFP app, really helped curb my sugar cravings...scanning something and seeing it take me over my goal was a real motivator to not eat it!
At the end of the day, it's about choice.
and self control. I don't believe that people have no self control. I believe that everyone has it but it's too hard for some to apply at first so they give up.0
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