What would push you to divorce?

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  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
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    I didn't read through all of these, but it looks like everyone hit on most of the big ones. Abuse, cheating, leading a second lifestyle. I also want to add that I couldn't stay with someone who refuses to take care of themself. I know that vows state in sickness and in health, but if my partner won't do anything to help himself, and if I have to sit there and watch him fade, then I'm out. My ex is an alcoholic who refused to go to counseling or AA. He would hide alchol around the house and drink it until he passed out every night. He once tried to drive the kids home drunk. There is only so much of that a person can take. I told him I wouldn't marry an alcoholic and in the end he chose the booze. We were 5 weeks from our wedding when he decided that he no longer wanted to get help and chose the booze instead. I can't help feeling I dodged a bullet because it certainly would have ended in divorce.
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
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    why does divorce cost so much?

    cause it's worth it

    ba dum ba, chhh
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
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    I divorced my ex husband because he had no respect for me, he refused to address his alcohol dependency, he was sexually abusive, and socially, emotionally, and financially controlling. My breaking point after all of that was driving his drunk *kitten* home one night and he was berating me for taking some time off during my winter break from college to visit every day with my dying grandmother. I realized at that moment that I was suffering through his mind games and abuse for no reason because I definitely did not love him anymore, so I talked with him about if for a few months, and after his promises to treat me better fell through I moved out and we got divorced.

    I had my suspicions that he did cheat on me a few times, and that would have saved us both a lot of time if he'd just come out and told me about it because I definitely would have divorced him because of that. Instead, it was a slow, painful process of putting up with abuse and falling out of love with someone.

    To the person that asked if there were no signs before marriage--yeah, I guess there probably were a few, but in my case my ex blatantly told me after two years that he was "already married so why bother trying?" Some people drastically change, OR they stay the same and the person that they're with continues to grow as a person. I think if you don't have mutual respect in your relationship, if you don't continue to grow together and you stop communicating, it's inevitable that a rift opens between you.
  • missomgitsica
    missomgitsica Posts: 496 Member
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    Any kind of abuse, be it physical, emotional, verbal, whatev. And obviously if he was a pedo or rapist.

    And yes, cheating, definitely.
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
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    My 1st marriage had signs of DO NOT DO THIS ! WALK AWAY but do we ever listen ??? Nope - 11 yrs later I was divorced on 5/11/00 and remarried on 5/20/00 !!!! 10 days after my divorce lol Hubby wanted to marry the same day the divorce was final but I couldn`t - He said my ex was a fool to let me go and he wanted to be sure he made me his before I decided to change my mind- I met my sweet heart during my separation and its been 12 yrs now and I never looked back.
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
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    I feel like people don't spend enough time getting to know their SO's before getting engaged and married, and it causes problems down the line. obviously this isnt true for all, some people meet and marry within a year and stay together forever.. either way, I'm glad i was with my man for over 6 years before even getting engaged. our engagement will last 15 months, and by the time we are married we will have been together 7.5 years.
  • Nierikah
    Nierikah Posts: 22 Member
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    For the record, I'm a lady who loves her video games, I worked for a video game developer for years and as such I've seen people who balance their game hobby and real life fantastically (I'm in this camp) and I've seen friends/coworkers who destroy their marriages and relationships having the addiction.

    What have you worked on?

    I worked on Blizz titles and God of War before that. :)
  • Nierikah
    Nierikah Posts: 22 Member
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    THIS. YES.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    THIS. YES.

    Heh, sorry, my pm was a total dupe. :D

    Just saw this now.

    You've got some gumption. I ran from console into the wild world of making money through social. ;)
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    Just sucks.. I don't want to be a failure.. My poor daughter. I don't know what is better, growing up with divorced parents or growing up with parents who hate each other?

    My parents were married for 43 years and they loved each other so much. My father was such a good family man. I never, ever even heard that man raise his voice to my mother.. I guess my standards are too high? Maybe I think my husband should be like my father...

    Looks like we will try marriage counseling seeing this is the only thing we haven't tried.

    Thank you for the advice.

    Yes, counseling is a great idea, for you both.I learned a long time ago that we teach people how to treat us. People continue behavior that they get away with. If there is no consequence, then there is no motivation to stop. Counseling should help you both communicate your needs better, and set some boundaries.

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