Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!
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She says she is 'sure' her child knows they are pretending. That doesn't sound exactly like they are clear on the subject of whether the Tooth Fairy is real or not.
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?0 -
To me, that sounds like a religious person "feeling sorry" for a child who isn't forced to go to Sunday School and learn Bible stories.
Wow, you just really excel at the flame baiting, don't you?
Sorry if my honesty is upsetting.
Not going to work on me!
I thought you would be pleased to have your expertise noted, since you did post earlier that you have been purposely in attack mode to 'teach us all a lesson'.
Not, not everyone. Just the Judgey McJudgerson's, which have all pretty much left the thread, from what I can see.0 -
Drama of Santa Claus?
Oh. Yea. It's MFP.
We have drama over water, why not mythical obese elves . . .0 -
She says she is 'sure' her child knows they are pretending. That doesn't sound exactly like they are clear on the subject of whether the Tooth Fairy is real or not.
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?
Power of the mystical = religion
(MHO)0 -
I REALLY hope that you never have a child with an imaginary friend, or if you do, I hope you'll consult their pediatrician before telling the child that their friend isn't real.:noway: Young children don't always understand the difference between visible, real or pretend. You want to talk about traumatizing a kid by telling them something they believe in isn't real? Tell them that the imaginary friend that they created in their own mind, isn't real. That's a pretty young age to start gaslighting.:ohwell: Besides, most kids with IFs know that they made them up - which is why they're so attached to them. They make them into exactly what they want and need.
I wouldn't talk to a pediatrician, I would talk to a specialist if I was concerned about it. Most children know that their imaginary friends are not real, so I would ask, and only if she persisted that it were real, would I consult a psychologist.
Gaslighting is not telling a kid something they believe is not real... Gaslighting is trying to convince someone that reality is not real, ie, trying to make someone think they are crazy.
Imaginary friends are usually reserved for young children. Children young enough to know the difference between make believe and real and but not necessarily between does not exist and not real. All I'm saying is that you (and I'm talking about YOU, not the general population, because you seem to have a deep seated problem with things pretend) would want to be very careful about approaching it and interpreting their response. My little has an imaginary friend. If I ask her if she's real, she'll say yes. If I ask her where she came from, she'll tell me that she made her up in her head and she's just pretend and invisible. Made up, pretend and invisible don't necessarily mean "not real" to a 4 year old. Me telling her that her friend isn't real would be like me telling her that she didn't make her up, or calling her crazy or a liar.
The way you handled it sounds like how I would. You asked enough questions to ascertain that she knows her friend is imaginary. I don't have any problem with pretend. I am ALL FOR pretend, imaginary, make believe, the whole lot. I am NOT for telling a kid that something is real when it is not. I hope that clarifies my position.0 -
No, I asked you what you meant by "religious", not "religion."
What is a "religious" person?
Of course she does because she gets things and they're milestones.
While I don't think this necessarily makes you a bad parent or that your children are abused in any way. I still feel terribly, terribly sorry for them.
Well, I'm confused as to why... She gets terribly excited for lost teeth, and she gets excited that I get to pretend to be the tooth fairy... She gets excited when we play dress-up and wear tiaras and she gets to be the princess, and sometimes I'm the queen and sometimes I'm her forest creature friend... We just have a very clear line between reality and make believe. There's nothing to feel sorry for...
But not allowing her to have something fantastic in her life is limiting. It's sad. She's missing so much and she doesn't even know it and probably never will.
To me, that sounds like a religious person "feeling sorry" for a child who isn't forced to go to Sunday School and learn Bible stories.
Someone who is religious.
re·li·gion
riˈlijən/noun
1. the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.
Just as I was castigated for telling my kids the truth about Santa when they asked, I was also a "horrible mom" for not forcing them to go to Sunday School. Oh well. My kids think I'm the best, and that's what matters to me.
Same word, different part of speech
Someone who believes in a religion is a religious person. Have you seriously never heard the term "religious" before?0 -
So you actually look like a wall of text on a computer screen?
Oh, honey.....No. No, no, no.
Go look up the word. Please. Like right now.
I cannot stop laughing right now.
You obviously didn't look up or read anything else anyone said about it. How about you go look it up... honey.0 -
Drama of Santa Claus?
Oh. Yea. It's MFP.
We have drama over water, why not mythical obese elves . . .
No doubt!0 -
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
The reason I don't care about they mystical is because the mystical is fake. It would be like me trying to convince you, an adult who knows the truth, that santa really is real, and how can you not believe in santa, look how happy it makes people, of course santa is real...
I see plenty of real beauty in the world, and plenty of beauty in real people, that I don't need to make up fake characters to tell my children to believe in. Why waste time with lies? Why not appreciate our world how it is?0 -
OP, then don't "lie" to your kid. Your kid, your choice. Problem solved. , Maybe as they reach adulthood they'll respect your blunt honesty; conversely, maybe they'll resent you for robbing them of the magic that is childhood.
Personally, no one I know was ever traumatized by finding out that Santa, the Easter bunny or the tooth fairy wasn't real. We got to enjoy the magic and mystery of it all (which, from a religious standpoint, is a reflection of the mysteries of faith). And to be honest, while I know there is no jolly bearded man in a red suit leaving presents, I am looking forward to reliving the excitement of it all through my daughters.
To each their own... just one other thing- if you are questioning yourself over it, perhaps that in itself is the answer?0 -
[quote}
To me, that sounds like a religious person "feeling sorry" for a child who isn't forced to go to Sunday School and learn Bible stories.
What is a "religious" person?
[/quote]Someone who is religious.
re·li·gion
riˈlijən/noun
1. the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.
Just as I was castigated for telling my kids the truth about Santa when they asked, I was also a "horrible mom" for not forcing them to go to Sunday School. Oh well. My kids think I'm the best, and that's what matters to me.No, I asked you what you meant by "religious", not "religion."
Of course I have. I wanted to know what YOU meant.Same word, different part of speech
Someone who believes in a religion is a religious person. Have you seriously never heard the term "religious" before?
Wiki:
Religion
Religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence.[note 1] Many religions have narratives, symbols, and sacred histories that are intended to explain the meaning of life and/or to explain the origin of life or the Universe. From their beliefs about the cosmos and human nature, people derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestyle. According to some estimates, there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world.[1]
Google: religious:
relating to or believing in a religion.
"both men were deeply religious, intelligent, and moralistic"
synonyms: devout, pious, reverent, godly, God-fearing, churchgoing, faithful, devoted, committed
"a religious person"
Who is not religious?0 -
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
The reason I don't care about they mystical is because the mystical is fake. It would be like me trying to convince you, an adult who knows the truth, that santa really is real, and how can you not believe in santa, look how happy it makes people, of course santa is real...
I see plenty of real beauty in the world, and plenty of beauty in real people, that I don't need to make up fake characters to tell my children to believe in. Why waste time with lies? Why not appreciate our world how it is?
Amen! There is much beauty in the world! My kids appreciate many of the finer things in life that other children don't bother even noticing.0 -
[/quote]
Of course I have. I wanted to know what YOU meant.To me, that sounds like a religious person "feeling sorry" for a child who isn't forced to go to Sunday School and learn Bible stories.What is a "religious" person?Someone who is religious.
re·li·gion
riˈlijən/noun
1. the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.
Just as I was castigated for telling my kids the truth about Santa when they asked, I was also a "horrible mom" for not forcing them to go to Sunday School. Oh well. My kids think I'm the best, and that's what matters to me.No, I asked you what you meant by "religious", not "religion."
Same word, different part of speech
Someone who believes in a religion is a religious person. Have you seriously never heard the term "religious" before?
Wiki:
Religion
Religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence.[note 1] Many religions have narratives, symbols, and sacred histories that are intended to explain the meaning of life and/or to explain the origin of life or the Universe. From their beliefs about the cosmos and human nature, people derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestyle. According to some estimates, there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world.[1]
Google: religious:
relating to or believing in a religion.
"both men were deeply religious, intelligent, and moralistic"
synonyms: devout, pious, reverent, godly, God-fearing, churchgoing, faithful, devoted, committed
"a religious person"
Who is not religious?
Lots of people are not religious. Where are you going with this line of questioning?0 -
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?
Power of the mystical = religion
(MHO)
Not at all.0 -
Not at all.
Power of the mystical = religion
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?
(MHO)
[/quote]
[/quote][/quote][/quote][/quote]
You can have your opinion. I have mine. :flowerforyou:[/quote]
To me, the notion of Santa Claus as a necessary part of childhood is to place Santa as a religious figure.0 -
This thread reminds me of the time my brother shot a deer, showed it to all the neighborhood kids, and explained that he had finally killed Bambi. Some people enjoy mystery and some people enjoy sucking the life out of the party. They both have their fun . . .0
-
This thread reminds me of the time my brother shot a deer, showed it to all the neighborhood kids, and explained that he had finally killed Bambi. Some people enjoy mystery and some people enjoy sucking the life out of the party. They both have their fun . . .
LOL!!0 -
[/quote][/quote][/quote]
Not at all.
Power of the mystical = religion
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?
(MHO)
You can have your opinion. I have mine. :flowerforyou:[/quote]
To me, the notion of Santa Claus as a necessary part of childhood is to place Santa as a religious figure.
[/quote]
Erm...Santa as a religious figure?? And what religious personage is he supposed to represent in your opinion?0 -
Of course I have. I wanted to know what YOU meant.To me, that sounds like a religious person "feeling sorry" for a child who isn't forced to go to Sunday School and learn Bible stories.What is a "religious" person?Someone who is religious.
re·li·gion
riˈlijən/noun
1. the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, esp. a personal God or gods.
Just as I was castigated for telling my kids the truth about Santa when they asked, I was also a "horrible mom" for not forcing them to go to Sunday School. Oh well. My kids think I'm the best, and that's what matters to me.No, I asked you what you meant by "religious", not "religion."
Same word, different part of speech
Someone who believes in a religion is a religious person. Have you seriously never heard the term "religious" before?
Wiki:
Religion
Religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence.[note 1] Many religions have narratives, symbols, and sacred histories that are intended to explain the meaning of life and/or to explain the origin of life or the Universe. From their beliefs about the cosmos and human nature, people derive morality, ethics, religious laws or a preferred lifestyle. According to some estimates, there are roughly 4,200 religions in the world.[1]
Google: religious:
relating to or believing in a religion.
"both men were deeply religious, intelligent, and moralistic"
synonyms: devout, pious, reverent, godly, God-fearing, churchgoing, faithful, devoted, committed
"a religious person"
Who is not religious?Lots of people are not religious. Where are you going with this line of questioning?
Nothing personal at you.... I see this term is getting used!
Often it gets used with the implication that some people are not religious, that they have achieved some neutral ground in this area.0 -
[/quote][/quote]
Not at all.
Power of the mystical = religion
Oh, I can clear that one up. I said "The tooth fairy is not real". She said "am I still going to get money for my tooth". I said "Yes, I am going to pretend to be the tooth fairy, get up while you are asleep, try to get your tooth without waking you up, and I'm going to leave some money in a pretty little pouch". She said ok.
The next morning, "See my money from the tooth fairy?" Whispers to me "you really put it there, but we're pretending the tooth fairy did".
OK. Then I'm not sure why you stated 'I'm sure she knows we are pretending.' But I'll let it go. But I do wonder why even bother with the tooth fairy at all? I find your exchange with your daughter to be quite sad really. But maybe that is just me.
We do it because she saw *several* cartoons and children's shows that said the tooth fairy is real. I had to explain that it isn't real. That was really confusing to her; why would the cartoons lie about something like that? She wanted the fun of discovering something under her pillow, so I said we could still do that.
She wanted the fun in it, we don't want to promote any myth as true. It was a happy medium. I don't see what is sad about it.
Yeah, I know you don't see what is sad about it, that is abundantly clear. I'm not here to try and enlighten you to the power of the mystical. Because you don't want to hear it. And anyone who continues to try to enlighten is either unceremoniously dismissed or ridiculed (not necessarily by you). Fruitless endevours, and I'm into fruit!
Some people simply aren't religious.
Why are you talking about religion?
(MHO)
You can have your opinion. I have mine. :flowerforyou:[/quote]
To me, the notion of Santa Claus as a necessary part of childhood is to place Santa as a religious figure.
[/quote]
Erm...Santa as a religious figure?? And what religious personage is he supposed to represent in your opinion?
[/quote]
St. Nicholas, whose feast day is December 6, had a penchant for secret gift giving, and as a result became the model for Santa Claus.0
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