Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!
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Whew!
We really need a sarcasm font!
What?! Confused. What do you think is a lie?I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.
It's not a lie if the intentions are good.
She was being a little sarcastic, I think.
Maybe do it like this *sarcasm*0 -
While I don't think this necessarily makes you a bad parent or that your children are abused in any way. I still feel terribly, terribly sorry for them.I am, actually. We have bonfires, and I spin poi, everyone gets sloshed, and no one talks about Santa. :laugh:
what about when your kids blow out the candles on their birthday cakes? do you tell them, "try to blow out all of your candles in one breath, but nothing will happen."?
Blowing out candles is a game (as in, see if you can get them in one breath!!! Yay, you did it!). We don't really talk about making wishes, because they can't conceptualize how a wish could be made true. We talk about things we want, or want to do, and we talk about making plans to make those things happen... but we don't sit around and wish for things.
What about children with imaginary friends? Are they told to stop the shenanigans?
If it were mine, I would make sure they knew it was imaginary. If they want to pretend, what do I care? We pretend the tooth fairy is real, but I am sure that she knows it is just pretend and she knows that I am the one pretending to be the tooth fairy. I'm not against imagination, I have a very active imagination myself; but I'm not going to tell them that a myth is real and get them to believe it, and then do things to reinforce the belief that it is a real thing (letters, gifts signed from Santa, milk and cookies, carrots for the reindeer).0 -
Is there really a book called The Farting Dog?! I need to find that!
I actually have it. It's Walter the Farting Dog. I also have the "Walter" stuffed dog that farts when you squeeze it. My wife bought it for me....:bigsmile:
It's nice to see you smiling. You spent the whole last part of this thread crying.0 -
No fussing in the forums! Hop on in and answer some posts, it will be good for you. How do you feel about telling your children that Santa is real?Parenting, Politics, and Religion should probably never be talked about on the internet, especially in these forums. It's terrible how some people are acting.0 -
When the time comes for my kids to question Santa...should they accuse me of lying, I hope the exchange goes something like this:0
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Okay now that the thread has rolled I feel safe in asking...Can you bring the extra presents that appear under your tree on Dec 25th to my house so they don't ruin the illusion for your child of truth? That's the only reason I'm asking. For the sake of your child. The only reason.0
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While I don't think this necessarily makes you a bad parent or that your children are abused in any way. I still feel terribly, terribly sorry for them.
Well, I'm confused as to why... She gets terribly excited for lost teeth, and she gets excited that I get to pretend to be the tooth fairy... She gets excited when we play dress-up and wear tiaras and she gets to be the princess, and sometimes I'm the queen and sometimes I'm her forest creature friend... We just have a very clear line between reality and make believe. There's nothing to feel sorry for...0 -
*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH
I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."
If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.
It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.
I was angry with my parents when I found out Santa was not real. Because I had been teased mercilessly in school about it, and my mother kept telling me he was real when I asked her. I feel I am a reasonably well adjusted adult now and don't still harbor active anger over the whole issue. Not like some other people I could name...0 -
Okay now that the thread has rolled I feel safe in asking...Can you bring the extra presents that appear under your tree on Dec 25th to my house so they don't ruin the illusion for your child of truth? That's the only reason I'm asking. For the sake of your child. The only reason.
Have already picked the spot under your tree where they will go. My boys are excited to practice breaking in. We are currently mapping the best path through your house.:bigsmile:0 -
No fussing in the forums! Hop on in and answer some posts, it will be good for you. How do you feel about telling your children that Santa is real?Parenting, Politics, and Religion should probably never be talked about on the internet, especially in these forums. It's terrible how some people are acting.
I told my children about Santa. They even got presents from Santa, Mrs. Claus and Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer. Those had different wrapping paper. When they got older, the kids at school spilled the beans. They still get presents from Santa though. It's kind of fun.0 -
So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"
Dafuq? :laugh:
LMFAO :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Wondering how she feels about Disney World??? It's no deferent than Santa!!!0 -
I was angry with my parents when I found out Santa was not real. Because I had been teased mercilessly in school about it, and my mother kept telling me he was real when I asked her. I feel I am a reasonably well adjusted adult now and don't still harbor active anger over the whole issue. Not like some other people I could name...
I resemble that remark, so I'd like to point out that I am not harboring anger over it, and have come to terms with all the crapiness that was my life back then.
My choice to not perpetuate the myth is based on my own experiences, but I don't walk around angry about it.0 -
How old were you when that was happening?*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH
I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."
If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.
It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.
I was angry with my parents when I found out Santa was not real. Because I had been teased mercilessly in school about it, and my mother kept telling me he was real when I asked her. I feel I am a reasonably well adjusted adult now and don't still harbor active anger over the whole issue. Not like some other people I could name...0 -
As a kid, the thought of some jolly, fat stranger breaking into our house through the chimney to "eat cookies and leave presents" scared the crap out of me. I always had trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve because I was so frightened.
Heheh. Ever read David Sedaris's 'Six to Eight Black Men'?
http://chuma.cas.usf.edu/~pinsky/texts/Six to Eight Black Men.pdf0 -
Of course she does because she gets things and they're milestones.
While I don't think this necessarily makes you a bad parent or that your children are abused in any way. I still feel terribly, terribly sorry for them.
Well, I'm confused as to why... She gets terribly excited for lost teeth, and she gets excited that I get to pretend to be the tooth fairy... She gets excited when we play dress-up and wear tiaras and she gets to be the princess, and sometimes I'm the queen and sometimes I'm her forest creature friend... We just have a very clear line between reality and make believe. There's nothing to feel sorry for...
But not allowing her to have something fantastic in her life is limiting. It's sad. She's missing so much and she doesn't even know it and probably never will.0 -
So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
"I'm so mad at my parents for making me believe in Santa and giving me presents" - said no sane person, ever.
That's just rude. There are sane people who didn't like being lied to about Santa, regardless of the presents.
If that is the worst thing that your parents ever did then you have lived an amazingly charmed life.
No, there was more to it, you missed the first thread, maybe?
Here, copied and pasted to save the click:
For me, it was extremely painful to realize Santa wasn't true. I had a really, really ****ty childhood, and god, jesus, nor the church members I went to for help, bothered to help me. My last ditch string of hope was that santa was real, and he could see that I was a nice kid who didn't deserve the hellish life I had. When I realized that santa really wasn't real, it really sunk in that I was completely alone in the world, that no one was going to help me, that no one was going to come save me.
I felt the same thing when I finally rejected the christian myth as well.
So, does it color my perception on whether we should perpetuate the lie? Yes, it does. It also makes me feel that false hope, not matter how well-intentioned, is detrimental. Believing in any of these false gods is detrimental, because NOTHING supernatural is going to come to your aid, no matter how good of a person you are. If you don't expect a god to rescue you, you can devote your time to actually making the world a better place.
You've got some stuff to work through. There are plenty of people who have had HORRIBLE lives and had HORRIBLE things happen to them. A lot of those people feel that believing in a higher power is the only thing that got them through it and they thank god for helping them get to a better place.
I'm agnostic, and personally don't get why people don't take responsibility for the fact that they have themselves to thank for making it through the hard times and bettering their lives, but whatever. My point is that what you see as "false" hope, others may see as actual hope, and what you see as a disappointing lie, others may see as the light at the end of the tunnel.
The vast majority of children aren't going to be that traumatized by finding out about Santa. And out of the ones who are, I would imagine that the vast majority have way bigger issues that need to be addressed so that they don't go into their adult lives with strange misconceptions about lasting effects of being lied to about Santa.:frown:0 -
Had to add in: My children did believe in Santa and are not self centered, if anything they wanted to be like him and help. You can not keep either of my daughters away from the Salvation army buckets at this time or from constantly wanting to buy "just one more toy" for the Toys for Tots program.
I did not mention earlier but in our house Santa brought the small presents, that fat sob was not getting credit for the high-end gifts :noway:
All of this arguing is just silly, the holidays are a time to give and be thankful. Some of the people on these threads I feel really sorry for their kids. My youngest told me a few months ago that she wants to be a unicorn or a doctor when she grows up, I laughed and made her hair into a unicorn horn. She knows its not real, but imagination is a great thing. Also she just figured out Santa wasn't real after last Christmas, all she said is "well I figured and I suppose the tooth fairy is fake too" She then admitted that she always thought the Easter Bunny was a fake but didn't want to ruin our fun.
Personally Santa was a great part of our holiday....plus he gave joint presents that they had to share sometimes, they couldn't argue with him about not wanting to share. Both of my girls when they found out wanted to know if they would still get the normal Santa stuff....slippers, blankets, a game to play together and a few small items, they also wanted to make sure their stockings would still be around.
Everyone disagrees but this subject it just silly. If you do not want to lie to your kids, then don't....I still do, when I tell them "Dad and I are going to our room early for the night to snuggle and watch a movie" it is my line for having alone time with the man that I love, I am surely not going to say Dad and I are going to our room, don't disturb us we want to have sex". Any parent that thinks they are honest on everything needs to look at the little things, you are probably less than honest on many small things. I think I am honest but I know that I sometimes shield my kids from the horror of this world with small omissions and white lies.0 -
I am, actually. We have bonfires, and I spin poi, everyone gets sloshed, and no one talks about Santa. :laugh:
what about when your kids blow out the candles on their birthday cakes? do you tell them, "try to blow out all of your candles in one breath, but nothing will happen."?
Blowing out candles is a game (as in, see if you can get them in one breath!!! Yay, you did it!). We don't really talk about making wishes, because they can't conceptualize how a wish could be made true. We talk about things we want, or want to do, and we talk about making plans to make those things happen... but we don't sit around and wish for things.
What about children with imaginary friends? Are they told to stop the shenanigans?
If it were mine, I would make sure they knew it was imaginary. If they want to pretend, what do I care? We pretend the tooth fairy is real, but I am sure that she knows it is just pretend and she knows that I am the one pretending to be the tooth fairy. I'm not against imagination, I have a very active imagination myself; but I'm not going to tell them that a myth is real and get them to believe it, and then do things to reinforce the belief that it is a real thing (letters, gifts signed from Santa, milk and cookies, carrots for the reindeer).
Oh - it's pretending if you do it, and lying if anyone else does it?
It's all clear to me now. Thanks!0 -
How old were you when that was happening?*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH
I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."
If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.
It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.
I was angry with my parents when I found out Santa was not real. Because I had been teased mercilessly in school about it, and my mother kept telling me he was real when I asked her. I feel I am a reasonably well adjusted adult now and don't still harbor active anger over the whole issue. Not like some other people I could name...
8 or 9. :blushing:0
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