She's fine, but seriously what do you think scale says?

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Replies

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.

    And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.

    I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.

    god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.

    Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    ...said no man ever.


    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Thank you for this post!!! :happy:
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    y'see...women only really care what other women think...true.
    I don't think most women are concerned about what men think or other women think near as much as what THEY THEMSELVES think when they look in the mirror.

    If I had a husband that I felt loved me "in spite of my weight", well, that would be unacceptable to me.
    Not sure if this was directed at me or not. If so please tell me is he supposed to be physically attracted to a new body type just because you gained weight?

    I mean if you two sat down together and you said I plan to add 45 lbs to my frame. And he says yes I think that would be attractive in you. That is one thing.

    But

    If you add 45 lbs with out giving him the chance to give you his opinion and expect him to say well yes I find you just as physically desirable as before. You are neive and selfish.
  • shellskeller
    shellskeller Posts: 22
    Agreed. That was my point.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    All I know is that "Vogue" and "Cosmopolitan" ain't run by straight men, or sold to straight men.

    Playboy is though, and the women in there have all kinds of different body types. And they're all fine, so do the math.

    I've never seen a truly thick woman in playboy that hasn't been airbrushed to death- now- granted- I don't pick up playboy every week- but maxim, hustler playboy- they have many different body types- but they are all svelt and air brushed. I'd barely make the cut- and I'm fricking fabulous. LMAO

    I perfer tattoo magazines for pin up pictures- THERE is a gold mine of beautiful body types there.

    Oh sure, that's even better. Consider how ****ing hot pinup models are (tattoos or not), and how 90% of them are thick women.

    Pinups are super hot! Definitely what I aim for, with the tattoos and all :)
  • the_texreb
    the_texreb Posts: 138 Member
    :wink:
    ...said no man ever.


    Also thigh gap... wtf...
    lol

    You all do like the thigh gap, though. You know it. Just not the one all these women are striving for.

    Holy Crap!! She's on to us! You have pretty eyes. See? It's not all physical, we're sensitive.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    How does this dress look? Sorry honey, I love you so I have no idea. You could be wearing a trashbag right now, or nothing at all, and I couldn't tell the difference.
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Don't be a hater. Some of us just have wide-set hips.

    QFT.

    Oh lol, my point is that it doesn't matter whether you have it or not. I'm no hater :flowerforyou:
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    There is a difference between changes you can't control(wrinkles/sagging/gray hair/balding) and choosing to be at best oblivious to the fat you are packing onto your body.

    Saying "he should find me desirable no matter what I do to myself" is a silly entitled way to look at the world. In fact I think, if you truly feel this is healthy in a relationship......
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    those things are out of control.

    Being overweight is not.

    I have informed every man I've ever dated- if they reached a certain weight- I was out. I am completely 100% physically unattracted to over weight guys. My current BF's weigh isn't a huge issue right now- except he's squishy- he lost 20 lbs- but he looks ridiculous because has 0 muscle tone what so ever. it's awful. I HATE IT. I won't leave him for it- but it really irks me.

    But if he actually got fat- nope- I'm out.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Don't be a hater. Some of us just have wide-set hips.

    QFT.

    Oh lol, my point is that it doesn't matter whether you have it or not. I'm no hater :flowerforyou:
    Yes!

    I have heard men talk about boobs and butts aplenty. I have never heard a man comment one way or the other about a thigh gap.

    Generally, I think men notice the whole package and either like what they see or don't. And while one man may look at me and barely be able to contain himself, another will not be attracted at all.

    And I'm OK with that.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    lol such a good point
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.

    Yep, this. Well said.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:

    Well to be fair, my own appearance and physical ability is imeasurably important to me as well.

    And as for earning ability... I'm still pretty young and that's been a concern for years now lol :wink:
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
    Men workout to look good in the weight room. Women workout to look good in the locker room.

    (gross blanket statement, but illustrates my point)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:

    your weight is almost always in your control.
    period.

    I don't need abs- (but it would do a lot for the bedroom shennanigans for sure)... but I need someone to not be obese.

    There is wide WIDE band of room for "acceptable" - it falls between HOT and OHHELLZNO.

    it's not just one or the other.
  • DymonNdaRgh40
    DymonNdaRgh40 Posts: 661 Member
    I will say this though, I think it's important that you take care of yourself and your body.

    It's NOT everything, but I would expect my partner to work to stay nice for me, and I for them. I (my opinion) see doing otherwise as taking them for granted in a way.

    Case in point, if she was physically attracted to me for my build, covering all that with fat or letting myself go and expecting her to still like me THAT way isn't really fair to her, is it? If she does, excellent. If she doesn't, it's not really her fault. (important point, I'm assuming a reasonable person here, not someone who is abnormally shallow).

    I have to agree with you on this. I would always encourage and support my partner with this because it is good for the both of us :wink:

    Oh and :flowerforyou: thanks for this post.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:

    By the above post I don't understand why you mocked the fact that I said my husband loved me in-spite of my weight gain. Sounds like that is the evolution of any long relationship. Loving in-spite of the flaws that develop or are uncovered is exactly what you are advocating.

    What we value most does change, but that someone else's sexual preferences I am worrying about is my SO's and I won't allow it to slip as a priority. It is one of my ways to show him that I care about us as a couple as much today if not more than I did the day we met.

    I think the disconnect with us is I feel I have more power over what happens to my body than you do.:flowerforyou:
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

    I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

    I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
    Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

    I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

    I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
    I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.

    I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

    I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

    I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.

    I wish my BF would work out for mine!!!

    guess I have no problem objectifying his squishy butt!!! =D

    seriously- I guess what bothers me- is I take time to make sure I look good- I work at this- it's not free. I put in the time and pay for it.
    He likes the way it looks. Great (I'd be doing it regardless).

    But if you like it so much- why do you think I don't care what you look like? Because guess what... I do. If I put this much effort in- perhaps you should think about putting in some effort for me.
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
    Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

    I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

    I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.

    Yeah, but I'm saying that I would workout for her as well. It's like this for me (within reason of course), at the beginning of a relationship you do everything you can to impress the other person, put your best foot forward. Of course that will slow a little bit, naturally, and there needs to be understanding (I'm assuming this is a worthwhile, healthy relationship) but why not keep trying to bring your A game as time goes on? lol
  • alywei37
    alywei37 Posts: 45
    I love the statement about the you lift so we can eat hahaha.

    Personally, i think everyone has their own point of view on the subject. People visually enjoy different body types. If a person is looking for a very particular body type in a partner that is their choice. If the person who is being asked to change their body wants to, great...if not, that is great too.
  • Melissa_mojo
    Melissa_mojo Posts: 156 Member
    Nice try but this presumes most women really care more about what men think than what other women think about them...
    This is an unfortunate truth. There is a reason things sold to both women and men, have women on the cover. Female sex appeal is what sells.

    so true
  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
    I still have yet to figure out how girl clothing size works. A girl could be like "OMG IM A SIZE BLAH BLAH I NEED TO BE A SIZE BLAH" and I try to figure out what that even means as I look at her.

    I honestly don't have it completely figured out...
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.

    God, I hope not. The older I get, the more important it should be. My body (not just in terms of appearance but also physical ability) has a lot to do with my quality of life. If I want to maintain said quality of life for as long as possible, then it's going to require even more diligence as I get older.
    I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.

    I completely agree that we deserve to be loved for who are, but your appearance absolutely speaks to who you are. I'm not talking about things you have no control over, like going bald or being short or getting stretch marks from pregnancy. I'm talking about things you can control, like your weight, the way you dress, how you groom yourself, etc.
    I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure

    I don't know if "pleasure" is the right word. That makes it sound like you must strive to look exactly like your husband's favorite porn star or something.

    But why shouldn't a wife strive to maintain whatever physical attraction her husband first felt towards her, and vice versa? I don't believe in taking it to a level where you are having plastic surgery to turn yourself into your husband's dream woman. And I think most men understand that when you grow a baby inside you, your body is likely to change in some irreparable ways.

    But what is so unreasonable about a woman expecting her husband to stay in shape or a man expecting the same of his wife? What often gets left out of these discussions is that when a woman lets herself go, it is not always the husband who loses interest in intimacy. It is often the wife being so disgusted by and ashamed of her own body that she doesn't even want to be naked in front of him, let alone have sex with him. And if he even hints that maybe working out and losing some weight would make her feel better, he gets called a pig and told that he doesn't really love her.

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