She's fine, but seriously what do you think scale says?

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  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.

    And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.

    I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.

    god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.

    Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    ...said no man ever.


    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Thank you for this post!!! :happy:
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    y'see...women only really care what other women think...true.
    I don't think most women are concerned about what men think or other women think near as much as what THEY THEMSELVES think when they look in the mirror.

    If I had a husband that I felt loved me "in spite of my weight", well, that would be unacceptable to me.
    Not sure if this was directed at me or not. If so please tell me is he supposed to be physically attracted to a new body type just because you gained weight?

    I mean if you two sat down together and you said I plan to add 45 lbs to my frame. And he says yes I think that would be attractive in you. That is one thing.

    But

    If you add 45 lbs with out giving him the chance to give you his opinion and expect him to say well yes I find you just as physically desirable as before. You are neive and selfish.
  • shellskeller
    shellskeller Posts: 22
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    Agreed. That was my point.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    All I know is that "Vogue" and "Cosmopolitan" ain't run by straight men, or sold to straight men.

    Playboy is though, and the women in there have all kinds of different body types. And they're all fine, so do the math.

    I've never seen a truly thick woman in playboy that hasn't been airbrushed to death- now- granted- I don't pick up playboy every week- but maxim, hustler playboy- they have many different body types- but they are all svelt and air brushed. I'd barely make the cut- and I'm fricking fabulous. LMAO

    I perfer tattoo magazines for pin up pictures- THERE is a gold mine of beautiful body types there.

    Oh sure, that's even better. Consider how ****ing hot pinup models are (tattoos or not), and how 90% of them are thick women.

    Pinups are super hot! Definitely what I aim for, with the tattoos and all :)
  • the_texreb
    the_texreb Posts: 138 Member
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    :wink:
    ...said no man ever.


    Also thigh gap... wtf...
    lol

    You all do like the thigh gap, though. You know it. Just not the one all these women are striving for.

    Holy Crap!! She's on to us! You have pretty eyes. See? It's not all physical, we're sensitive.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
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    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    How does this dress look? Sorry honey, I love you so I have no idea. You could be wearing a trashbag right now, or nothing at all, and I couldn't tell the difference.
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Don't be a hater. Some of us just have wide-set hips.

    QFT.

    Oh lol, my point is that it doesn't matter whether you have it or not. I'm no hater :flowerforyou:
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    There is a difference between changes you can't control(wrinkles/sagging/gray hair/balding) and choosing to be at best oblivious to the fat you are packing onto your body.

    Saying "he should find me desirable no matter what I do to myself" is a silly entitled way to look at the world. In fact I think, if you truly feel this is healthy in a relationship......
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    But people change. We age. We don't sign a contract that we love each other today 'as is'. If someone doesn't love me for who I am in all my betters and worses, they can go buy a blow up doll. That won't change.

    Does he change? Is his hairline guaranteed? Will you love him less with less hair or gray hair? Does it affect your desire? I guess we're just different. If I love someone I see the person, not the love handles or the gray.

    those things are out of control.

    Being overweight is not.

    I have informed every man I've ever dated- if they reached a certain weight- I was out. I am completely 100% physically unattracted to over weight guys. My current BF's weigh isn't a huge issue right now- except he's squishy- he lost 20 lbs- but he looks ridiculous because has 0 muscle tone what so ever. it's awful. I HATE IT. I won't leave him for it- but it really irks me.

    But if he actually got fat- nope- I'm out.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Also thigh gap... wtf...

    Don't be a hater. Some of us just have wide-set hips.

    QFT.

    Oh lol, my point is that it doesn't matter whether you have it or not. I'm no hater :flowerforyou:
    Yes!

    I have heard men talk about boobs and butts aplenty. I have never heard a man comment one way or the other about a thigh gap.

    Generally, I think men notice the whole package and either like what they see or don't. And while one man may look at me and barely be able to contain himself, another will not be attracted at all.

    And I'm OK with that.
  • FindingMyPerfection
    FindingMyPerfection Posts: 702 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
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    lol such a good point
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.

    Yep, this. Well said.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:
  • FrnkLft
    FrnkLft Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:

    Well to be fair, my own appearance and physical ability is imeasurably important to me as well.

    And as for earning ability... I'm still pretty young and that's been a concern for years now lol :wink:
  • samammay
    samammay Posts: 468
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    Men workout to look good in the weight room. Women workout to look good in the locker room.

    (gross blanket statement, but illustrates my point)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Is graying out of his control? He could color his hair, and get hair plugs.

    Is gaining weight really always 'something we do to ourselves'? What about the stretch marks from having kids? We could go childless or have plastic surgery.

    At some point I think you have to accept that maybe you and he both are probably doing all you can to battle it and just support each other instead of being judgmental and blaming and disapproving.
    Nothing was ever said about blame or disapproval coming from SO, but taking responsibility for what can be controlled and having realistic understanding if what your weight aim does to them and their visual attraction to you.
    I think values just differ and also change across time, and so do ideas about what we can control and to what extent we should have to control some things, especially for the benefit of someone else's sexual preferences.

    The older I get the lower 'abs' gets on the wish list and the higher 'earning ability' gets. :laugh:

    your weight is almost always in your control.
    period.

    I don't need abs- (but it would do a lot for the bedroom shennanigans for sure)... but I need someone to not be obese.

    There is wide WIDE band of room for "acceptable" - it falls between HOT and OHHELLZNO.

    it's not just one or the other.

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