She's fine, but seriously what do you think scale says?
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I'm not saying women should feel free to let themselves go physically. We should care for ourselves for our health, for our own self-esteem, for all kinds of reasons including appearance. I think the older you get the more you see your ability and quality of life aren't tied to being a size 2 or even 10. Even if you remain a size 2, 4, 6, whatever, you're going to find you look less and less like the woman he married every year and that's ok. You can be healthy and worthy of love and even desire and physical attraction at sizes larger than you were on your wedding day.Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
God, I hope not. The older I get, the more important it should be. My body (not just in terms of appearance but also physical ability) has a lot to do with my quality of life. If I want to maintain said quality of life for as long as possible, then it's going to require even more diligence as I get older.
*For me*, someone loving me 'despite how I look today' (regardless of who's 'fault' it is) would be unacceptable, and I hope my daughter never feels that way. I have unconditional love. The people I love could get hate messages tattooed across their faces and I'd still love them. I would never let them think for a second that I judged them on their appearance and rated love with their weight as a factor.0 -
When I read the topic I thought it was going to be a parody of "What does the fox say?" :laugh: My scale says "You be, you be, you be FAT."
I do think some guys care what their girlfriends/wives weigh, just for bragging purposes if nothing else. Also (maybe not so much on this forum where women of all sizes post their pictures and weights) it seems like a lot of guys out there have no clue what women of various looks actually weigh and so they default to the idea that only under 130 is properly feminine and aesthetically acceptable.0 -
I see where we are being misunderstood. You are talking about love and I am talking about physical desire. Yes aging happens bit we choose how we maintain our appearance.
I'm not saying women should feel free to let themselves go physically. We should care for ourselves for our health, for our own self-esteem, for all kinds of reasons including appearance. I think the older you get the more you see your ability and quality of life aren't tied to being a size 2 or even 10. Even if you remain a size 2, 4, 6, whatever, you're going to find you look less and less like the woman he married every year and that's ok. You can be healthy and worthy of love and even desire and physical attraction at sizes larger than you were on your wedding day.Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
God, I hope not. The older I get, the more important it should be. My body (not just in terms of appearance but also physical ability) has a lot to do with my quality of life. If I want to maintain said quality of life for as long as possible, then it's going to require even more diligence as I get older.
*For me*, someone loving me 'despite how I look today' (regardless of who's 'fault' it is) would be unacceptable, and I hope my daughter never feels that way. I have unconditional love. The people I love could get hate messages tattooed across their faces and I'd still love them. I would never let them think for a second that I judged them on their appearance and rated love with their weight as a factor.0 -
I see your point about physical 'love'.The reason I began on MFP is because I no longer felt desired by my husband. I had had 2 kids and gained 45lbs! Don't get me wrong he still loved me but I could feel the shift from uncontrollable desire, to I love you inspite of the weight you gained.
At first I felt hurt by this shift but quickly realized that it was my own doing.
This is not to say fluctuation in weight is bad, but that we must realize what we choose to do to our bodies will influence the way our SO feels towards us on a physical level.
But I think a smart husband, if he did feel less desire for his wife due to her weight, would hide that thought very carefully! Turn out the lights, pretend he's with JLo or something if he has to, and man up! Especially if It was his babies that got her heavy, not her laziness or self-neglect! :bigsmile:
Ok, I'll drop it.
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i like thigh gaps.
not exclusively, but I do kinda want to sneak in there sometimes0 -
Also thigh gap... wtf...
Don't be a hater. Some of us just have wide-set hips.
We don't hate the thigh gap thing it's fine. Most of us just don't have it on our mental list of sexy features.
I wasn't even really aware that it existed or that some women had it and some didn't until I heard the term sometime this year and had to look it up to figure out what the heck it meant.
I mean I guess technically I had seen it's presence or absence but I didn't CARE or remember. Considering how incredibly interesting the whole area where it exists is that says a lot...0 -
I mean I guess technically I had seen its presence or absence but I didn't CARE or remember.
Yep. It's completely irrelevant from my perspective as well. Simply not a factor in attractiveness.0 -
I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.
I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*
It's not how you look...it's your confidence...that has made that better.0 -
I know looks have nothing to do with sexual desire and if they are even slightly considered than the person is shallow.:noway:
I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.
I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*
It's not how you look...it's your confidence...that has made that better.
#sarcasm0 -
Anyone who says that confidence has everything to do with sexual attractiveness is just making things up. It isn't shallow, it is just how things are.0
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But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.
And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.
I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.
god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.
Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.
Oh, I love mine. And I have a bootie. :bigsmile:0 -
I wish my BF would work out for mine!!!
guess I have no problem objectifying his squishy butt!!! =D
seriously- I guess what bothers me- is I take time to make sure I look good- I work at this- it's not free. I put in the time and pay for it.
He likes the way it looks. Great (I'd be doing it regardless).
But if you like it so much- why do you think I don't care what you look like? Because guess what... I do. If I put this much effort in- perhaps you should think about putting in some effort for me.
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a talk.0 -
Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.
I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
Yeah, but I'm saying that I would workout for her as well. It's like this for me (within reason of course), at the beginning of a relationship you do everything you can to impress the other person, put your best foot forward. Of course that will slow a little bit, naturally, and there needs to be understanding (I'm assuming this is a worthwhile, healthy relationship) but why not keep trying to bring your A game as time goes on? lol
You have an excellent attitude! My husband works very hard on his fitness as it is important to him that I find him hawt. And thank goodness for that! Fortunately, he has a lifetime of good sports fitness under his belt, so it's mainly a matter of upkeep and trying not to eat too much popcorn late at night. :happy:0 -
Maybe for you...Anyone who says that confidence has everything to do with sexual attractiveness is just making things up. It isn't shallow, it is just how things are.
I love low rise jeans, too.
I had never heard of a 'thigh gap' before a few months ago. My 8th grader showed me the fuss online about it, amongst young girls. At least I assumed it was only amongst young girls. It's kind of troubling.0 -
I see your point about physical 'love'.The reason I began on MFP is because I no longer felt desired by my husband. I had had 2 kids and gained 45lbs! Don't get me wrong he still loved me but I could feel the shift from uncontrollable desire, to I love you inspite of the weight you gained.
At first I felt hurt by this shift but quickly realized that it was my own doing.
This is not to say fluctuation in weight is bad, but that we must realize what we choose to do to our bodies will influence the way our SO feels towards us on a physical level.
But I think a smart husband, if he did feel less desire for his wife due to her weight, would hide that thought very carefully! Turn out the lights, pretend he's with JLo or something if he has to, and man up! Especially if It was his babies that got her heavy, not her laziness or self-neglect! :bigsmile:
Ok, I'll drop it.
*sigh* I remember when J.Lo was hot.
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I workout for me, but I choose not to become overweight again for him. I workout to find my perfection, but love the fast that he has that spark of sexual desire towards me again. I choose to better myself and in doing so have bettered our sex life.Yes, you're probably right. I think you might get more accepting of your body and your weight the older you get, but who knows, maybe not. It's all a matter of values and priorities.
I didn't mean to offend. I meant it more as 'we all deserve to be loved for who we are period', not 'who we are despite our flaws in appearance'.
I find it a little objectifying when women say they workout for their husband's pleasure but who am I to judge.
I still don't see how this is a bad thing. Shrug*
It's not how you look...it's your confidence...that has made that better.
You can't assume that. My husband has leaned out considerably in the past 6 months, and I am definitely feeling more frisky in his direction as a result.
EDIT: And I certainly do not consider myself shallow because of it. Looks have a lot to do with it, whether you have made a commitment to love a person 'till death do us part or not.0 -
bubble butt, boobs, flat stomach, and doesn't ***** and complain. that's what guys care about..i was raised by brothers and a father...that's what I got from it all xD0
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As long as your boobs are bigger than your stomach....0
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I wish my BF would work out for mine!!!
guess I have no problem objectifying his squishy butt!!! =D
seriously- I guess what bothers me- is I take time to make sure I look good- I work at this- it's not free. I put in the time and pay for it.
He likes the way it looks. Great (I'd be doing it regardless).
But if you like it so much- why do you think I don't care what you look like? Because guess what... I do. If I put this much effort in- perhaps you should think about putting in some effort for me.
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a talk.
we've had a few... ultimately I started dating him when he wasn't in great shape- I got a new job and finally was able to get serious about working out- I've always been a worker-outer... but my crazy schedule didn't allow me to really train- just to work out.
now that I work steady hours... it's game on. I train- for real. and he seems to think doing 200 hindu squats is the same as squatting 200 lbs on a barbell.
it's infuriating. but he is a grown *kitten* man- I don't appreciate his attitude about it -but he's not a fat pig so that's good enough. I wish he realized if he was actually muscled out and ripped- things would be a lot better. But meh- he's happy with mediocre that's his business.0 -
I wish my BF would work out for mine!!!
guess I have no problem objectifying his squishy butt!!! =D
seriously- I guess what bothers me- is I take time to make sure I look good- I work at this- it's not free. I put in the time and pay for it.
He likes the way it looks. Great (I'd be doing it regardless).
But if you like it so much- why do you think I don't care what you look like? Because guess what... I do. If I put this much effort in- perhaps you should think about putting in some effort for me.
Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a talk.
we've had a few... ultimately I started dating him when he wasn't in great shape- I got a new job and finally was able to get serious about working out- I've always been a worker-outer... but my crazy schedule didn't allow me to really train- just to work out.
now that I work steady hours... it's game on. I train- for real. and he seems to think doing 200 hindu squats is the same as squatting 200 lbs on a barbell.
it's infuriating. but he is a grown *kitten* man- I don't appreciate his attitude about it -but he's not a fat pig so that's good enough. I wish he realized if he was actually muscled out and ripped- things would be a lot better. But meh- he's happy with mediocre that's his business.
Totally get where you're coming from. I've heard the same sentiment from both men and women in that same position.0 -
I think for me it's important that a partner take pride in their body and wants to be healthy and fit because it is a big part of my life that i work towards!!0
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I don't think I've ever even tried on a pair of low rise. The midrise are low enough! I cannot wear jeans or pants that sit at the waist. They look AWFUL on me. My waist is a full 12 inches smaller than my hips, so the cut is just bad. Midrise ae perfect, though. They pretty much always fit just right.But then they still have to fit over your hips or butt. I cna't wear men's jeans, even if they're the right waist size. They're too small over my hips.
And women have the low and midrise pants, too, which throws it all off.
I just get midrise so they fit my hips and I'm good.
god low rise pants are probably the worst thing to happen to women's jeans since pleats.
Seriously- if you have ANY butt at all- low rise is INSTANT crack city OR front wedgie. It's awful.
Oh, I love mine. And I have a bootie. :bigsmile:
Although, I live in Florida so I spend about 10 months of the year in sundresses, anyway.0 -
I'm about 20 years too old for this thread. Where's the smiley with a walker?0
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I think for me it's important that a partner take pride in their body and wants to be healthy and fit because it is a big part of my life that i work towards!!
yeah if I had to start all over- I would not accept someone who didn't work out as a mate. too much of a difference.0 -
As long as your boobs are bigger than your stomach....
ROFL! I came up with this years ago in college! It's not necessarily how big your boobs or waist are, it's proportions!
I'm a face and hair guy though, can't beat a woman with a pretty face and nice hair.
Of course, this is just my opinion, but consider the implications regarding weight, boob size, etc... once again, what is fine, is fine.0 -
The whole "thigh gap" phenomenon is SO annoying. People are so silly. I can't believe that's even a thing. what the eff0
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The whole "thigh gap" phenomenon is SO annoying. People are so silly. I can't believe that's even a thing. what the eff
Thank you!
Thigh gap = No thigh gap... it's a non issue. It's like... I dunno, hearing a woman talk about the backs of her ears or something. Unless there is some kind of larger problem going on there... why are we even discussing it?0 -
If a girl is HOT she is HOT! I don't CARE what the scale says. I have seen girls that look GOOD and weigh MORE than I thought.
And there's been some that look BAD and weigh LESS than I thought..lol.
If they have the extra weight in their boobs or butt that AWESOME!0 -
The whole "thigh gap" phenomenon is SO annoying. People are so silly. I can't believe that's even a thing. what the eff
Thank you!
Thigh gap = No thigh gap
Never heard a man comment or consider it without having heard about it from someone first. It's just not something that occurs to anyone I've ever talked to. Given the whole of female anatomy, there are far more important things to spend my time on :flowerforyou:
to be perfectly honest- and no offense here, but that's more of women being stupid than anything. Never heard a guy say "well, she would be hot, but she doesn't have thigh gaps. Think i'll pass".
Ridiculous0
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