Most effective cleanse?

124

Replies

  • tm82001
    tm82001 Posts: 133 Member
    Taco Bell is usually pretty good. I've heard White Castle has some good ones too. Tainted seafood has really worked for me a few times.

    Almost fell out of my damn chair....way too funny!
  • j6o4
    j6o4 Posts: 871 Member
    Hang cleans, clean and press, and power cleans.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    in…for the best cleansing method...
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  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Taco Bell is usually pretty good. I've heard White Castle has some good ones too. Tainted seafood has really worked for me a few times.
    I've found the "spoiled chicken" cleanse to be highly effective. Runny at both ends and you won't even be able to keep water down for about a week.

    Joking aside, "cleanses" and "detoxes" don't do anything beneficial. The diet industry makes millions off suckers who buy into their fraudulent hocus-pocus. The only place they make you lose weight is in your wallet. Here's a good read for more info:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821828-detoxes-and-cleanses

    < did the spoiled chicken cleanse..dropped about ten pounds in four days…not really that much fun though...
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    You need to be more specific. There are colon cleanses or cellular cleanses... Among others I am sure..

    I practice a 5:2 meal plan and use a cellular cleanse on those two low calorie days.
    Best advice, Google to see what cleanse type you are looking for. Then comeback for which products to use.

    ahhh yes google…the poor mans american journal of medicine…
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    coffee and a cig is actually the google recommend cleanse...
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    From Harvard Medical school about cleansing and detoxes.....



    "The body’s own detox system

    We tend to forget that the body is equipped with a detoxification system of its own, which includes the following:

    The skin. The main function of the body’s largest organ is to provide a barrier against harmful substances, from bacteria and viruses to heavy metals and chemical toxins.

    The respiratory system. Fine hairs inside the nose trap dirt and other large particles that may be inhaled. Smaller particles that make it to the lungs are expelled from the airways in mucus.

    The immune system. This exquisitely orchestrated network of cells and molecules is designed to recognize foreign substances and eliminate them from the body.

    The intestines. Peyer’s patches — lymph nodes in the small intestine — screen out parasites and other foreign substances before nutrients are absorbed into the blood from the colon.

    The liver. Acting as the body’s principal filter, the liver produces a family of proteins called metallothioneins. Metallothioneins neutralize harmful metals like lead, cadmium, and mercury to prepare for their elimination from the body. Liver cells also produce groups of enzymes that regulate the metabolism of drugs and are an important part of the body’s defense against harmful chemicals and other toxins.

    The kidneys. The fact that urine tests are used to screen for drugs and toxins is a testament to the kidneys' remarkable efficiency in filtering out waste substances and moving them out of the body."

    bro everyone knows harvard is full of a bunch of bro scientists ….
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    I shower once a day, sometimes twice, if I feel like it. That's the extent of my cleanse.
    And do you use shampoo? I have to remind certain young males in my household. And soap. Yes, water AND soap. Soap works well, not sure if they believe me though.
  • vikramtag
    vikramtag Posts: 67 Member
    **** loads of water
  • Snowthorn
    Snowthorn Posts: 6 Member
    Not 100% on what you mean by 'cleanse' but if you drink lots of water it will flush out the toxins in your body naturally. If you don't like water you could try adding some lemon to make it taste nice.
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
    eat...then

    pee
    poop

    repeat.

    yep. this is pretty accurate
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Garden hose will do a good job. FFS!
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  • colortheworld
    colortheworld Posts: 374 Member
    Sugar free gummy bears by Harino. Seriously, look at the reviews on Amazon. Just one small handful needed. :drinker:

    ^^^^ THIS!!!

    Here's the link... I nearly "cleansed" myself laughing!

    http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/product-reviews/B000EVQWKC/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?showViewpoints=1

    Dying. I'm going to put that link on every single cleanse thread on here from now until forever. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Not 100% on what you mean by 'cleanse' but if you drink lots of water it will flush out the toxins in your body naturally. If you don't like water you could try adding some lemon to make it taste nice.

    I've read many times on MFP that only water is water. If you add lemon to it, you have lemonade and not water...so it doesn't count.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    We are kind of saying the same thing I guess. The website I gave promotes getting all your nutrients from juice for awhile, or just incorporating juice into what you already eat. Wouldn't that count as nutrient rich foods? I'm not sure if it's considered a cleanse or not - looks like there may be different definitions for cleanses anyway - but I think it's definitely worth a try. More for general health than for weight loss though.
    Not really. I don't feel adding juice to the diet is detrimental (although one would still have to count it's calories), however getting ALL one's nutrients from it for awhile is since protein and fat are essentials and to intake enough would definitely put one way over on carbs to suffice.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • sfbaumgarten
    sfbaumgarten Posts: 912 Member
    My colonoscopy prep was quite the experience. Also highly effective. Though the name "GoLytely" seems to be a little misleading... You've been warned.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Not 100% on what you mean by 'cleanse' but if you drink lots of water it will flush out the toxins in your body naturally. If you don't like water you could try adding some lemon to make it taste nice.

    I've read many times on MFP that only water is water. If you add lemon to it, you have lemonade and not water...so it doesn't count.

    What if I drink the lemon juice and the water separately?
  • Number_44
    Number_44 Posts: 97 Member
    IN for waterboarding of the back door
  • arrseegee
    arrseegee Posts: 575 Member
    Smoked salmon past its use by date is also an excellent option. It will really cleanse your digestive system, and depending on your level of dehydration at the end can also be somewhat of a spiritual experience. Nothing like a bit of food poisoning every now and then to override the job that your bowels and liver can do perfectly well on their own.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Smoked salmon past its use by date is also an excellent option. It will really cleanse your digestive system, and depending on your level of dehydration at the end can also be somewhat of a spiritual experience. Nothing like a bit of food poisoning every now and then to override the job that your bowels and liver can do perfectly well on their own.

    "spiritual experience" - that right there is funny!!!!!!!
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
    Not 100% on what you mean by 'cleanse' but if you drink lots of water it will flush out the toxins in your body naturally. If you don't like water you could try adding some lemon to make it taste nice.

    I've read many times on MFP that only water is water. If you add lemon to it, you have lemonade and not water...so it doesn't count.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    And NOW.........i'm in!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Not 100% on what you mean by 'cleanse' but if you drink lots of water it will flush out the toxins in your body naturally. If you don't like water you could try adding some lemon to make it taste nice.

    I've read many times on MFP that only water is water. If you add lemon to it, you have lemonade and not water...so it doesn't count.

    What if I drink the lemon juice and the water separately?

    That's water.
  • AprilLizbethWire
    AprilLizbethWire Posts: 38 Member
    We are kind of saying the same thing I guess. The website I gave promotes getting all your nutrients from juice for awhile, or just incorporating juice into what you already eat. Wouldn't that count as nutrient rich foods? I'm not sure if it's considered a cleanse or not - looks like there may be different definitions for cleanses anyway - but I think it's definitely worth a try. More for general health than for weight loss though.
    Not really. I don't feel adding juice to the diet is detrimental (although one would still have to count it's calories), however getting ALL one's nutrients from it for awhile is since protein and fat are essentials and to intake enough would definitely put one way over on carbs to suffice.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Honestly you can probably do with out a lot of fat for a week or two, but there are fruits and veggies that have it if you're worried about it. Veggies have protein - lots of it. I try to follow plant based, and the one thing I haven't had a problem with is getting enough protein. If you're going to do a juice cleanse it takes a lot of planning to make sure you're going to get the proper nutrients, but that's true of any diet. Really, if I was doing a juice cleanse I wouldn't worry about counting my calories. But that's up to each individual person. If they're just incorporating juice into their diet they should probably count calories then. Also, I've been steadily losing weight for weeks and I always go way over on my carbs. I know cutting down on carbs isn't all about just weight loss, but as long as I'm getting my carbs from fuits, veggies, grains, or nuts I don't really worry about going over the recommended amount I'm supposed to have.
  • egrusy
    egrusy Posts: 196 Member
    In for a much-needed laugh or twelve...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    We are kind of saying the same thing I guess. The website I gave promotes getting all your nutrients from juice for awhile, or just incorporating juice into what you already eat. Wouldn't that count as nutrient rich foods? I'm not sure if it's considered a cleanse or not - looks like there may be different definitions for cleanses anyway - but I think it's definitely worth a try. More for general health than for weight loss though.
    Not really. I don't feel adding juice to the diet is detrimental (although one would still have to count it's calories), however getting ALL one's nutrients from it for awhile is since protein and fat are essentials and to intake enough would definitely put one way over on carbs to suffice.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Honestly you can probably do with out a lot of fat for a week or two, but there are fruits and veggies that have it if you're worried about it. Veggies have protein - lots of it. I try to follow plant based, and the one thing I haven't had a problem with is getting enough protein.
    Not disputing if you can get fat and protein from it. I implied if one is trying to meet macronutrient profiles for whatever their needed values are, that juice alone may add more calories than they need to.
    If you're going to do a juice cleanse it takes a lot of planning to make sure you're going to get the proper nutrients, but that's true of any diet.
    Not really. I can just grab something log it and see what my macro/micro nutrients are that were fulfilled. Now how much of that would I have to drink to fulfill what I need? Let's see: for protein I take in about 195g a day. I like spinach so let's look at how much I'd have to consume to meet it. At 5.3g per cup that's about 37 cups of spinach I'd have to juice. That's quite a bit. And that would probably give me several trips to the bathroom too.
    Really, if I was doing a juice cleanse I wouldn't worry about counting my calories. But that's up to each individual person. If they're just incorporating juice into their diet they should probably count calories then. Also, I've been steadily losing weight for weeks and I always go way over on my carbs. I know cutting down on carbs isn't all about just weight loss, but as long as I'm getting my carbs from fuits, veggies, grains, or nuts I don't really worry about going over the recommended amount I'm supposed to have.
    Carbs aren't bad. Over consumption of them (calorie wise) is the concern. Let's be honest here, anyone doing a juice "cleanse" isn't probably intaking anymore than about 1200 calories a day. For the general population, that would result in weight loss. It's still about calories in/out.
    Nutrition isn't just about fruit and vegetables. If your stance that it's just about being meatless and that's why you stand behind juicing, then your view is more subjective than objective. As a professional in the business, I don't make it subjective. I look at actual peer reviewed research and use those conclusions to help people decide how they want to approach weight loss and health.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • AprilLizbethWire
    AprilLizbethWire Posts: 38 Member
    We are kind of saying the same thing I guess. The website I gave promotes getting all your nutrients from juice for awhile, or just incorporating juice into what you already eat. Wouldn't that count as nutrient rich foods? I'm not sure if it's considered a cleanse or not - looks like there may be different definitions for cleanses anyway - but I think it's definitely worth a try. More for general health than for weight loss though.
    Not really. I don't feel adding juice to the diet is detrimental (although one would still have to count it's calories), however getting ALL one's nutrients from it for awhile is since protein and fat are essentials and to intake enough would definitely put one way over on carbs to suffice.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Honestly you can probably do with out a lot of fat for a week or two, but there are fruits and veggies that have it if you're worried about it. Veggies have protein - lots of it. I try to follow plant based, and the one thing I haven't had a problem with is getting enough protein.
    Not disputing if you can get fat and protein from it. I implied if one is trying to meet macronutrient profiles for whatever their needed values are, that juice alone may add more calories than they need to.
    If you're going to do a juice cleanse it takes a lot of planning to make sure you're going to get the proper nutrients, but that's true of any diet.
    Not really. I can just grab something log it and see what my macro/micro nutrients are that were fulfilled. Now how much of that would I have to drink to fulfill what I need? Let's see: for protein I take in about 195g a day. I like spinach so let's look at how much I'd have to consume to meet it. At 5.3g per cup that's about 37 cups of spinach I'd have to juice. That's quite a bit. And that would probably give me several trips to the bathroom too.
    Really, if I was doing a juice cleanse I wouldn't worry about counting my calories. But that's up to each individual person. If they're just incorporating juice into their diet they should probably count calories then. Also, I've been steadily losing weight for weeks and I always go way over on my carbs. I know cutting down on carbs isn't all about just weight loss, but as long as I'm getting my carbs from fuits, veggies, grains, or nuts I don't really worry about going over the recommended amount I'm supposed to have.
    Carbs aren't bad. Over consumption of them (calorie wise) is the concern. Let's be honest here, anyone doing a juice "cleanse" isn't probably intaking anymore than about 1200 calories a day. For the general population, that would result in weight loss. It's still about calories in/out.
    Nutrition isn't just about fruit and vegetables. If your stance that it's just about being meatless and that's why you stand behind juicing, then your view is more subjective than objective. As a professional in the business, I don't make it subjective. I look at actual peer reviewed research and use those conclusions to help people decide how they want to approach weight loss and health.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    My stance isn't about being meatless at all, my stance is that juicing is a viable choice for a cleanse, and it is possible to get all the nutrients one needs from it. It IS true that you have to plan your diet (I'm using diet as in what a person habitually eats, not as in restriction of foods to lose weight) out to make sure you're getting your nutrients - I don't see how you can argue with that, but whatever. I don't have little fancy titles in bold under my comments on here, and I never studied nutrition at a University, but I'm subjectively researching my food choices every day.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Time out.

    Can someone remind me what it is a cleanse purports to cleanse?

    Yeah, I know, "toxins"...

    ...but can someone name even ONE of these toxins that are cleansed by a cleanse that aren't otherwise cleansed by the body regardless?

    Just one? Please?

    Thanks.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Cycling or running.

    One just has to poop right at the most inconvenient time - usually just before the start of the race or nearing the finishing sprint.