Can cheaters change?

smantha32

The answers yes. But the real question is why bother? If someones cheated on you what's the point in wasting your time and effort, just my opinion.

I agree with you.

latenitelucy

I'll take "Broad Sweeping Generalization Because I've Been Hurt" for 1,000 Alex.

I agree. I also think there is a difference between someone who has cheated once and a "cheater"

Doing it for the fun of it? probably won't change.

cheated because they felt (justified or not) that they needed something that they currently did not have? May never cheat again

penelopelake

People often cheat - 50% of married people - for one reason. They are not getting what they want in their marriage. IE, their spouse has withheld sex for years and that in itself is a form of torture.

Cheating is simply a sign there is something not right in the r-ship.

Monogamy is also very hard for a majority of people, men and women, and women are hardwired to NOT be monogamous (read Sex at Dawn etc etc)

ryry_

Cheaters will always be cheaters.
They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

Thats my opinion anyway.

From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.

See, I don't buy into that excuse.
All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
And in the INFANTRY!!!
Can't get much dumber then that.
But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

I keep thinking your stuff is going to rhyme but it never does.

digitalbill

Cheaters will always be cheaters.
They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

Thats my opinion anyway.

From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.

See, I don't buy into that excuse.
All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
And in the INFANTRY!!!
Can't get much dumber then that.
But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.

I have broken up with girlfriends before. I knew that it would hurt. Somethimes it happens.
I never, ever cheated on one.
As a matter of fact, I never broke up with a girl just to go out with a different one.

I do believe that it is a matter of caracter and there really is no excuse to cheat on someone.

digitalbill

Cheaters will always be cheaters.
They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

Thats my opinion anyway.

From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.

See, I don't buy into that excuse.
All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
And in the INFANTRY!!!
Can't get much dumber then that.
But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

I keep thinking your stuff is going to rhyme but it never does.

Hmmmm...
CHALLANGE ACCEPTED!!!!!!!!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Cheaters will always be cheaters.
They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

Thats my opinion anyway.

From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.

See, I don't buy into that excuse.
All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
And in the INFANTRY!!!
Can't get much dumber then that.
But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.

I have broken up with girlfriends before. I knew that it would hurt. Somethimes it happens.
I never, ever cheated on one.
As a matter of fact, I never broke up with a girl just to go out with a different one.

I do believe that it is a matter of caracter and there really is no excuse to cheat on someone.

I don't think anyone is arguing there are actual legitimate reasons to cheat. They are saying that people cheat for reasons that don't really say much about their moral character in the long run. People, all people, do things they shouldn't do.

Ninguneado77

Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing.

wheird

Why would you think a cheater can't change? If you make one wrong decision do you continue making that same wrong decision forever?

ryry_

Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing.

Drug addicts can cause the same pain and distrust to their spouses and families. They can also change. And?

Ninguneado77

Can murderer's change? Can paedophiles change?

You are the actions you commit upon this world.

Erm. No. We are more than just the actions we commit on the world. That's a pretty unfair statement for someone who has changed their ways.

Sorry to disagree with such a lovely person…but we are what we do

Until you decide that you want to do something else.

You know, to say that you personally believe that a cheater can never change implies that you have no conscience.

And as I said earlier, if you can't take accountability for the pain you've caused people ever, then there is some deeper, under-lying mental health issues at work here.

I can think of a few junkies that people once called nonredeemable, but they have changed and went from being thieves/takers to being employees and full-time parents, volunteers even.

addiction and immorality…two different things

3dogsrunning

Cheaters will always be cheaters.
They are near the bottom of the scumbag barrel and will never be able to climb out if it.
Cheaters only care about themselfs and for that reason, they will always be garbage.
Cheaters are only one step about child abusers.

Thats my opinion anyway.

From the bottom of my scumbag barrell, for being 20 and stupid.

See, I don't buy into that excuse.
All of us were at one point 20 and stupid.
I mean, I was in the Army at 20.
And in the INFANTRY!!!
Can't get much dumber then that.
But even then, I knew that hurting someone else was wrong.

So in your life, you have never hurt anyone?

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a saint amongst us.

I have broken up with girlfriends before. I knew that it would hurt. Somethimes it happens.
I never, ever cheated on one.
As a matter of fact, I never broke up with a girl just to go out with a different one.

I do believe that it is a matter of caracter and there really is no excuse to cheat on someone.

Good for you. :flowerforyou:

I do believe that it is best not to apply broad generalizations to everyone and judge people I don't know. I also believe that one can't really judge a situation unless you have been in it. There are lots of things I don't agree with but I prefer to know the person before actually deciding on their character. I don't believe there is an excuse to apply sweeping generalizations especially classifying a large group of people as garbage or just above a child molester. I do believe that is a matter of character.
:drinker:

twinketta

People can change their behaviour if they want to.

marko320

This thread needs to lighten up. Please enjoy this on topic NSFW (language) video: http://youtu.be/qjPBMAmNH14

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing.

I thought the issue was if cheaters could change? Does cheating ruin relationships because trust cannot be regained? Sure. But that doesn't mean cheaters don't change.

sunman00

aged 18-40 multiple cheating
aged 40-54 zero cheating

yes they can

(naturally I'm referring to a friend)

rebeccalee1986

Nope

UsedToBeHusky

Can murderer's change? Can paedophiles change?

You are the actions you commit upon this world.

Erm. No. We are more than just the actions we commit on the world. That's a pretty unfair statement for someone who has changed their ways.

Sorry to disagree with such a lovely person…but we are what we do

Until you decide that you want to do something else.

You know, to say that you personally believe that a cheater can never change implies that you have no conscience.

And as I said earlier, if you can't take accountability for the pain you've caused people ever, then there is some deeper, under-lying mental health issues at work here.

I can think of a few junkies that people once called nonredeemable, but they have changed and went from being thieves/takers to being employees and full-time parents, volunteers even.

addiction and immorality…two different things

No... they aren't really. Illegal substances are illegal, and therefore, using them is wrong. We live in a generally accepted monogamous society, and therefore, cheating is wrong.

Both have a tendency to cause harm in the lives of the people we love (or don't love depending on how completely narcissistic you are).

csuhar

Can they? Sure. What are the odds? Well.... that much isn't easy to say. I think that someone who was busted the first time they tried might have better odds of reversing the trend, but that's more a matter of personal opinion than anything based on impartial analysis.

I do definitely think that those who have done it repeatedly have lower chances of success. Like one of my friends said: "A mistake is subtracting instead of adding in your math homework. Affairs take PLANNING."

Plus there's the issue that the cheating may strain their future reltionships. From the cheater possibly wanting the thrill or the freedom to the other individual wondering if the cheater is cheating, again, it's going to change how they approach things.

wheird

Behaviour good and bad has consequences. You can decide to change but you can't necessarily wipe out the consequences of your actions. Weight gained can usually be lost again. But trust broken due to cheating can rarely be re-gained.

Thank you for this!….. Someone was trying to convey that since you can sign up on mfp and lose some lbs then you can also stop being unfaithful. Hence this thread… The consequences of a cheater are pain, distrust, hurt, trauma, etc..on his spouse and his children and the rest of family and friends…being overweight is not the same thing.

I thought the issue was if cheaters could change? Does cheating ruin relationships because trust cannot be regained? Sure. But that doesn't mean cheaters don't change.

Non sequiturs are valid!