Worst kiss you ever had?

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Replies

  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    On my last day of volunteering at an assisted-care living center, a very old, senile woman (she'd called me Alfred--not my name--the entire time I worked there and always asked if I'd "bring the car 'round so that she could go meet the gentleman for dinner") was sad at the news I was departing and asked for a good bye hug and kiss. I said I'd give her a hug but that my girlfriend would be upset if she found out I was running around kissing other girls :wink: Anyway, I leaned in for a hug and she tried to give me a sneak-attack kiss. She ended up biting me on the cheek. Yes....it drew blood.
  • On my last day of volunteering at an assisted-care living center, a very old, senile woman (she'd called me Alfred--not my name--the entire time I worked there and always asked if I'd "bring the car 'round so that she could go meet the gentleman for dinner") was sad at the news I was departing and asked for a good bye hug and kiss. I said I'd give her a hug but that my girlfriend would be upset if she found out I was running around kissing other girls :wink: Anyway, I leaned in for a hug and she tried to give me a sneak-attack kiss. She ended up biting me on the cheek. Yes....it drew blood.

    you just won the internet
  • I was 17.

    I was on a date with this tall blonde football player with the shoulders of a god.

    He was witty, kinda dumb, drove a fast car and had a truck at the farm. (farmers son, so he had two vehicles)

    We went to the movies and had a fantastic time.

    then he kissed me.

    it was like my mouth had been attached to a Hoover accessory. You know the one, the long tubed one with the extra suckage that had the bristles on the end.

    I felt like he was going to suck out my soul like they do in Sleepwalkers (that horrible 1992 movie based on a Stephen King story)

    it was horrible.
  • mayaocean
    mayaocean Posts: 355 Member
    I was 17.

    I was on a date with this tall blonde football player with the shoulders of a god.

    He was witty, kinda dumb, drove a fast car and had a truck at the farm. (farmers son, so he had two vehicles)

    We went to the movies and had a fantastic time.

    then he kissed me.

    it was like my mouth had been attached to a Hoover accessory. You know the one, the long tubed one with the extra suckage that had the bristles on the end.

    I felt like he was going to suck out my soul like they do in Sleepwalkers (that horrible 1992 movie based on a Stephen King story)

    it was horrible.

    I want to be leaf.
  • _Calypso_
    _Calypso_ Posts: 1,074 Member
    Worst had to be my first..... I remember it vividly and it was pretty bad. Neither of us had a clue what to do. Only one other kiss comes to mind and it was much like OP - tongue and more tongue and spit and slobber and teeth.... I had teeth marks in my lip. Not good at all.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    How awkward!

    A guy burped in my mouth once during a kiss. I mean, I'm a nurse...I don't get grossed out easily, but that was pretty disgusting because we had just eaten dinner.

    Yeah, that burp erased all gender considerations. I think I just puked in the back of my mouth. Just a little bit.

    I think we have a winner here! That's just disgusting!

    I think my worse is the guy who would only peck me on the lips! Come ON man! I want to be turned on with a kiss...not walk away feeling like I just kissed grandpa!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    My junior year of HS I learned never to let looks fool you.
  • Went in for a kiss and I am pretty sure this girl had halitosis. I had to "just remember I have a cold".

    And thanks, now the Wonder Years song is stuck in my head.
  • elleloch
    elleloch Posts: 739 Member
    Dude kissed me once and his tongue flopped around in my mouth like a fish out of water. It was terrible.
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    I was 17 and she wanted to make out with the "bad boy with the Mustang."

    She literally gave my tongue a blow job... most awkward thing ever... then proceeded to lick my face. Terrible.
  • _G4BR13L_
    _G4BR13L_ Posts: 131 Member
    It was something like this.

    moose.jpg
  • willrun4bagels
    willrun4bagels Posts: 838 Member
    I had a roommate in college that was going to go on a blind date with a guy she met online, and his single male friend wanted to tag along, so my roommate wanted to drag me out to make it a double date. I was single, so why not, right?

    We get to this bar/restaurant in the area, and meet them. She seems to hit it off with the guy, and they introduce me to the friend. He was six inches shorter than I am, and within the first ten minutes of sitting down at the table, he's talking about Jesus, and his church (I am not religious at all / agnostic). Otherwise, he seems okay, but very talkative, like this was his first date with a girl... ever. I was kind of just planning to be my roommate's wingman and was not really interested in going on a "date" with anyone.

    My roommate and the guy decide that all 4 of us are going to go back to our house for some beers. We walk back around the block to our house, and my friend and the guy go to the living room downstairs, leaving me upstairs alone with chatty Cathy.

    After like an hour of showing me pictures of his family, his dog, his church, his truck, his friends, on his cellphone, I had to take evasive action. I couldn't really kick him out since the other guy was still downstairs with my friend. I figured (and this was after more than a few beers) that the only way he would stop talking was if we were kissing. So I lean over and start kissing him - and I SWEAR I must have been his first kiss (that could have been the only excuse for the tongue mashing). It was like he was trying to extract my teeth with his tongue. It was horrible. I had spit all over my chin, my face, my nose (WTF?). They both left a while later, and I woke up the next day to a FB friend request from him. I added him, to be nice, and about five minutes later he requests to be listed as "in a relationship" with me on FB. I messaged him and told him sorry but I'm not interested in a relationship.

    My roommate found out the next day that the guy she thought could be "the one" (she was crazy - super crazy) was engaged and had a baby on the way with his fiancee. The end!
  • Brige2269
    Brige2269 Posts: 354 Member
    Dated a guy in high school. He was a wide mouth kisser, but his teeth scraped my face all the way around my mouth. There was tongue and slobber from my nose to my chin. Horrible!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    was on a first date, went back to my place and we went out to walk my dog, he held my hand...........mistake number one. That kinda skeezed me out that he would hold my hand on a first date like we had been dating for months. Then he goes in for a kiss, totally klinks my teeth.........and keeps doing it. Not to mention he was literally trying to fit his entire tongue into my mouth. My roommate an impish frenchman was watching out the sliding glass door because when I came back in ALONE (except for my dog) he had this
    sh!tty grin on his face I believe he even tsked me if memory serves. Got to witness that horrific event.
  • BranMuffin86
    BranMuffin86 Posts: 314 Member
    It was time to have the first kiss with the guy I had been on a couple dates with and somehow his tongue was in front of my teeth. He wouldn't put it in my mouth just kinda lick my front teeth. I thought it was a fluke cos we had been drinking, but no. The next time he tried to kiss me it was the same thing. Lets just say that was our last date. JUST HORRIBLE.
  • wiscck
    wiscck Posts: 185 Member
    I once had a guy come at my mouth open and tongue out. Pro tip: start out with a normal kiss and if that's all good then progress to using tongue.

    Also, the first time one of my exes kissed me he was a little off on his aim and got me half on the lips half on the cheek. Awkward.
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    In honor of hump day (I know, I hate that name too)

    you can just call it Wensday, we wont judge
  • dirty_dirty_eater
    dirty_dirty_eater Posts: 574 Member
    Once thought I was being assaulted by an alien. I half expected a lizard to pop out of my chest the next day.
  • coretemp
    coretemp Posts: 1,796 Member
    alone with chatty Cathy.

    LOL
  • Once thought I was being assaulted by an alien. I half expected a lizard to pop out of my chest the next day.

    oh honey....i just like to get deep....it's not like i'm laying eggs or anything....

    just deep
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    Went in for a kiss and I am pretty sure this girl had halitosis. I had to "just remember I have a cold".

    And thanks, now the Wonder Years song is stuck in my head.

    You're welcome!
  • OMG I think I have received my worst kiss yesterday haha, it looks like he did not know where to kiss me, I felt he wanted to eat my face, it was horrible and mushy! The worst is that it made ​​me hickeys on the neck, WTF I'm not 16 anymore, Who Did hickeys at 33 years old!
  • I LOVE kissing, so this would be tough...except for that one kiss...

    It was pretty hot and heavy and I was pretty new with things (he was only my second "kiss partner") so I just followed his lead - he chose an open mouth with probing tongue action, which wasn't *great*, but whatever, what did I know at that point, maybe that's how it's supposed to be. And then all of a sudden, he burps. DIRECTLY into my open mouth. I felt the heat from it and tasted the spice and gut funk in my mouth and nose. He pulled back a second later and said "Sorry, I had Taco Bell". Blergh. I was young and hormonal and he was uber hot, so I just shrugged and we kept going - but it still kind of haunts me. Turrrrrible.
  • This is with my ex: One night he goes in for the kiss eyes closed and mouth opened like he was about to eat off my face. The he starts kissing me and felt like a dog slobbered all over my face. I couldnt help but wipe my face off in front of him when it was over. :sick:
  • raneylfrick
    raneylfrick Posts: 380 Member
    Worst...or most awkward, I dunno....But, the other night, I was at work and some admittedly drunk guy started flirting really hard. He tried to get me to go up to his place, and when I didn't, he started kissing me. So weird and so gross. He smelled like hell and I swear he had been drunk drooling all night! I finally told him I was dating my boss and got the **** out of there!
  • coretemp
    coretemp Posts: 1,796 Member
    when it was over. :sick:

    LOL
  • arghbowl
    arghbowl Posts: 1,179 Member
    In honor of hump day (I know, I hate that name too)

    you can just call it Wensday, we wont judge

    Or Wednesday. That works, too.
  • SakuraRose13
    SakuraRose13 Posts: 621 Member
    First kiss I ever had it was so gross he tried to suck my face , slobbery ughh ..:sick: .shudders just thinking about it .
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    I've had horrible drooly kissers... overzealous teeth bangers.... helicopter tongue fanatics... one guy who had 'stick' tongue where it was like a hard, unmoving treebranch in my mouth. I'm not sure who was the worst... though at this moment, I would have to say the guy who belched dr. pepper into my mouth while kissing and just kept going. I would have been mortified if it was the other way around. He seemed to find this perfectly acceptable and questioned why I stopped kissing him. Sure, we all have our moments, but as a grown azz person you should kind of feel those things coming on, lest you have some major gastrointestinal issues, and at the very least stop the kissing, turn your head, make it brief and for goodness sake EXCUSE YOURSELF! Perhaps he was just really into me, but it wasn't cool... I don't want to taste things that other people have ingested - even if it is just a whiff of it into my mouth. *GAG*
  • No_Finish_Line
    No_Finish_Line Posts: 3,661 Member
    you judged!