Is chivalry really dead? :(

delicious_cocktail

When out socially I will always open doors, offer to carry packages, offer my seat, rise when a woman enters the room and gets up or joins my table. In my home my wife and any other women are always served first and no one eats until my wife picks up her fork.

. . .

dayone987

Any man who doesn't behave in a "chivalrous" fashion or does only to get a woman into bed isn't worth spit IMO.

When out socially I will always open doors, offer to carry packages, offer my seat, rise when a woman enters the room and gets up or joins my table. In my home my wife and any other women are always served first and no one eats until my wife picks up her fork.

While I do not do all of these things while at work, especially in meetings, as it could be seen as sexist; I do them all outside of it for every woman.

Well said, and this is the key to the whole thing. People are confusing manners and mating signals with the right to vote and earn equal pay for equal work. Being civilly and professionally equal does not necessitate being socially genderless.

To me, people are confusing manners with chivalry. If it was about manners, men would do all those nice things for men and women.
Why do men who consider themselves chivalrous do these things for women only?

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Yes. It died after the medieval times.

dbmata

Oh I missed this thread. It's been weeks since it's been posted.

TeamDale1

Not with me. I always put women before my selfish self.

dbmata

No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

Bingo. "Girls" like that type of treatment. " women" like to be respected and treated like ladies.

It's also a shame a guy would see chivalry as just something to get a woman into bed.

Ever wonder why guys are more chivalrous towards the more attractive females....................

Ever wonder why guys shower, shave, and wear clean clothes? :laugh:

AmykinsCatfood

I don't believe its dead, my hubby still opens the door for me and always unlocks my door for the car first.. :}

So does my best friend who also happens to be a lady. That is just common courtesy. Which is almost dead as well.

BobOki

With equal rights comes equal treatment. Unless females are going to start acting chivalrous towards men, then yes, it should be dead.
Now, not acting like an *kitten* and being polite should be global.

DMZ_1

I don't think it is dead, but it is dying. At least the interpretation of chivalry present in modern Western society of opening the doors for women and generally being courteous towards women is dying. Why dying? Because men are realizing these behaviors are not necessarily rewarded.

Bry_Fitness70

Chivalry is different than politeness. Chivalry is opening the chariot door for a lass, helping her on and off her horse, taking off your riding jacket and placing it over a mud puddle, picking up her kerchief if she drops it, defending her honor by slapping a ruffian’s face with your riding glove and engaging in a duel, etc. Politeness is holding the door open as you pass through, saying “thank you” following a polite gesture by another, saying “excuse me” if you bump into or interrupt someone, using your turn signal when turning or changing lanes, RSVP’g by the stated deadline, etc.

Women rejected chivalry (in its modern adaptations as well) when they embraced the pursuit of absolute equality, but are certainly entitled to politeness, just like everyone else.

lauren3101

No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....

Bingo. "Girls" like that type of treatment. " women" like to be respected and treated like ladies.

It's also a shame a guy would see chivalry as just something to get a woman into bed.

Ever wonder why guys are more chivalrous towards the more attractive females....................

I honestly can't say I've ever known a guy be chivalrous to one woman and not another. In my experience anyway they are either chivalrous or they aren't.

BlackandWhitePhotoOp

Chivalry isn't dead in my relationship. My GF opens the house door, car doors, and store/restaurant doors for me. She surprises me with flowers. She sends a " good morning" text every morning. She asks me where we are gonna sit in resturants, etc. She will pick up little grocery items that I mention ( we don't live together). When I spend the night she takes my bags and put them away for me, she gives me space to put my things (drawer/closet), and she picks up toiletress for me.
I do things for her as well; get up with her while she goes to work and offer to make her breakfast or pack a lunch. I treat her to dinners, occassionally buy her flowers, etc.

In my opinion it should go both ways.

contingencyplan

Personally I disagree with the concept behind chivalry and am glad it's dying. I think it's an illusion and I cannot comprehend the idea of giving someone special treatment based on the fact that they are a woman.

Toblave

When out socially I will always open doors, offer to carry packages, offer my seat, rise when a woman enters the room and gets up or joins my table. In my home my wife and any other women are always served first and no one eats until my wife picks up her fork.

. . .

Is that a question or a statement? When out, if a woman enters who will be joining us enters the room then I rise and wait for her. If we are at a party or other social gathering and a woman comes to join our group then I rise until she is seated.

Greenrun99

Its not completely dead, but getting close as others mentioned.. The real old traditions are gone.. like standing when a girl gets up (as was mentioned just above my post).. that one is almost unheard of now... I no longer pull out chairs or open the car door and wait for her to get in.. but the rest are pretty much still there.. opening doors and letting them go first (or holding the door), paying, complimenting, taking their coat, etc..

ren_ascent

I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.

Chivalry is a way of treating people...

Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.

Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.

But that's just my opinion.

I like you.

I second that.

RllyGudTweetr

Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."

Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"

Guess carefully.

LuLuChick78

Toblave

With equal rights comes equal treatment. Unless females are going to start acting chivalrous towards men, then yes, it should be dead.

That's just silly. I would never expect or want a woman to open my door, pull out my chair or help me with my coat but that's how I was raised.

You seems to miss the point of it. Some of it is simple civility and etiquette that may be shown to anyone but may become more important with respect to a woman.

A good example is helping my wife with her coat. I know that she is perfectly capable of putting on her own coat but she also has a purse to manage, helping with her coat means that she doesn't have to juggle the two as much.

When out and a woman gets up to leave the table or arrives at the table, I will also rise. I know that she is able to get up and sit down by herself but I rise so that she doesn't have to be the only one which would attract attention to herself. Also, in case she needs help with anything or a seat.

I hold doors for anyone and specifically open them for women, again I know they aren't weaklings that are incapable of doing it. I do it because it's the right thing to do, to be ready to help them IF they need it and some doors can be heavy. I also do it because, unlike men, they often carry purses or other things that they may need to juggle to open the door.

These are just a few.

sjebert

it is tough to be a guy and to know what to do, espcially when you go to hold a door open for a lady and she tells you, I can do it myself. I thought to myself, well sorry lady for trying to be nice, I won't make that mistake again.