Is chivalry really dead? :(
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Ever wonder why guys are more chivalrous towards the more attractive females....................No......it's not really needed as many girls will "give it up", with not much effort....
Bingo. "Girls" like that type of treatment. " women" like to be respected and treated like ladies.
It's also a shame a guy would see chivalry as just something to get a woman into bed.
I honestly can't say I've ever known a guy be chivalrous to one woman and not another. In my experience anyway they are either chivalrous or they aren't.0 -
Chivalry isn't dead in my relationship. My GF opens the house door, car doors, and store/restaurant doors for me. She surprises me with flowers. She sends a " good morning" text every morning. She asks me where we are gonna sit in resturants, etc. She will pick up little grocery items that I mention ( we don't live together). When I spend the night she takes my bags and put them away for me, she gives me space to put my things (drawer/closet), and she picks up toiletress for me.
I do things for her as well; get up with her while she goes to work and offer to make her breakfast or pack a lunch. I treat her to dinners, occassionally buy her flowers, etc.
In my opinion it should go both ways.
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Personally I disagree with the concept behind chivalry and am glad it's dying. I think it's an illusion and I cannot comprehend the idea of giving someone special treatment based on the fact that they are a woman.0
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When out socially I will always open doors, offer to carry packages, offer my seat, rise when a woman enters the room and gets up or joins my table. In my home my wife and any other women are always served first and no one eats until my wife picks up her fork.
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Is that a question or a statement? When out, if a woman enters who will be joining us enters the room then I rise and wait for her. If we are at a party or other social gathering and a woman comes to join our group then I rise until she is seated.0 -
Its not completely dead, but getting close as others mentioned.. The real old traditions are gone.. like standing when a girl gets up (as was mentioned just above my post).. that one is almost unheard of now... I no longer pull out chairs or open the car door and wait for her to get in.. but the rest are pretty much still there.. opening doors and letting them go first (or holding the door), paying, complimenting, taking their coat, etc..0
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I like you.I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.
Chivalry is a way of treating people...
Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.
Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.
But that's just my opinion.
I second that.0 -
Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."
Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"
Guess carefully.0 -
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With equal rights comes equal treatment. Unless females are going to start acting chivalrous towards men, then yes, it should be dead.
That's just silly. I would never expect or want a woman to open my door, pull out my chair or help me with my coat but that's how I was raised.
You seems to miss the point of it. Some of it is simple civility and etiquette that may be shown to anyone but may become more important with respect to a woman.
A good example is helping my wife with her coat. I know that she is perfectly capable of putting on her own coat but she also has a purse to manage, helping with her coat means that she doesn't have to juggle the two as much.
When out and a woman gets up to leave the table or arrives at the table, I will also rise. I know that she is able to get up and sit down by herself but I rise so that she doesn't have to be the only one which would attract attention to herself. Also, in case she needs help with anything or a seat.
I hold doors for anyone and specifically open them for women, again I know they aren't weaklings that are incapable of doing it. I do it because it's the right thing to do, to be ready to help them IF they need it and some doors can be heavy. I also do it because, unlike men, they often carry purses or other things that they may need to juggle to open the door.
These are just a few.0 -
it is tough to be a guy and to know what to do, espcially when you go to hold a door open for a lady and she tells you, I can do it myself. I thought to myself, well sorry lady for trying to be nice, I won't make that mistake again.0
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Laugh at and ignore woman B. She's miserable. Woman A appreciates you.Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."
Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"
Guess carefully.0 -
I'm not sure how that would fit into the whole "being chivalrous" concept. Perhaps I missed the part in the Code of Chivalry about laughing at people with different notions of it than my own.
Laugh at and ignore woman B. She's miserable. Woman A appreciates you.Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."
Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"
Guess carefully.0 -
I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.
Chivalry is a way of treating people...
Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.
Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.
But that's just my opinion.
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Well, people who are rude deserve it. Woman B is rude.
I'm not sure how that would fit into the whole "being chivalrous" concept. Perhaps I missed the part in the Code of Chivalry about laughing at people with different notions of it than my own.
Laugh at and ignore woman B. She's miserable. Woman A appreciates you.Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."
Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"
Guess carefully.0 -
it is tough to be a guy and to know what to do, espcially when you go to hold a door open for a lady and she tells you, I can do it myself. I thought to myself, well sorry lady for trying to be nice, I won't make that mistake again.
I"ve never ever ever been rude to someone that holds a door for me. Usually I'm pushing a stroller while carrying other items, so it's a welcome gesture. I can't imagine the personality of a person that would act like that to a random act of kindness.0 -
I've never been called out for being too chivalrous. I always hold doors and say "please, thanks you, etc" (I do think standing when a woman enters the room is too much).
The reason women might call you out for being over-chivalrous is become you come off as being incredibly beta. That is the worst thing a man can do.0 -
With equal rights comes equal treatment. Unless females are going to start acting chivalrous towards men, then yes, it should be dead.
That's just silly. I would never expect or want a woman to open my door, pull out my chair or help me with my coat but that's how I was raised.
You seems to miss the point of it. Some of it is simple civility and etiquette that may be shown to anyone but may become more important with respect to a woman.
A good example is helping my wife with her coat. I know that she is perfectly capable of putting on her own coat but she also has a purse to manage, helping with her coat means that she doesn't have to juggle the two as much.
When out and a woman gets up to leave the table or arrives at the table, I will also rise. I know that she is able to get up and sit down by herself but I rise so that she doesn't have to be the only one which would attract attention to herself. Also, in case she needs help with anything or a seat.
I hold doors for anyone and specifically open them for women, again I know they aren't weaklings that are incapable of doing it. I do it because it's the right thing to do, to be ready to help them IF they need it and some doors can be heavy. I also do it because, unlike men, they often carry purses or other things that they may need to juggle to open the door.
These are just a few.
Are you afraid the ruffians might spot her and besmirch her honour?0 -
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not at all, thankfully.0
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I guess I fail to see the conflict between chivalry and equality.
Chivalry is a way of treating people...
Equality is allowing people an equal opportunity for achievement.
Men who hold back chivalry in the name of equality do so out of holding a grudge, or because they don't like showing respect to women in the first place.
But that's just my opinion.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I can be a strong, successful woman and still LOVE to be treated like a lady…I'm trying to teach my 14 yr old son to be a good man, and that includes chivalry...0 -
it's only mostly dead \m/0 -
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lots of southern men still have it other than that, almost dead especially in younger generations
I miss the South and can't wait to move back home! Not speaking for all non-southern regions, but the dudes in a Detroit shock me with the inappropriate pickup lines they use when we just met 2 seconds ago. I assume it's normal here because many of the women I have met here do not seem to be phased by it. I am not entirely sure.0 -
Chivalry:
1. The medieval system, principles, and customs of knighthood.
2. a. The qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.
b. A manifestation of any of these qualities.
3. A group of knights or gallant gentlemen.
These traditional qualities are lacking in today's society. Chivalry is not about opening doors for women, it's about respect and honour. Knights swore to protect those who could not protect themselves. It just happened that at the time only men could be knights, so it has become a male ideal. However, today I think everyone can and should be chivalrous.0 -
I live in the South. My fiance is southern. I haven't noticed that men here are any more polite than in other parts of the country.lots of southern men still have it other than that, almost dead especially in younger generations
I miss the South and can't wait to move back home! Not speaking for all non-southern regions, but the dudes in a Detroit shock me with the inappropriate pickup lines they use when we just met 2 seconds ago. I assume it's normal here because many of the women I have met here do not seem to be phased by it. I am not entirely sure.0 -
Guy opens door for woman A: "Thanks, very nice of you."
Guy opens door for woman B (who has a similar appearance and fashion sense to woman A): "What, you don't think a woman can open a door? Sexist creep!"
Guess carefully.
I can't comprehend a woman getting uptight about a man opening the door for them....it just astounds me. I've seen it mentioned quite a few times here and in other threads so it must be true...but seriously it just leaves me shaking my head that some women get offended when a person opens the door for them.
I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess. It seems they are harder to find with each passing generation. I've recently started dating someone who treats me like one, and it's been a learning curve for me as I am a rather independant, self-sufficient woman. He opens doors, puts my coat on for me, carried my packages while we were Christmas shopping...etc. Now I will say that if I come up with an idea for something for us to do for a date, or ask him out then I prefer to pay--only because I'm not going to ask him to do something and then expect him to pay.
To the men on this thread who posted why they practice chivalry---thank you!! It's given me a clearer understanding as to why the man I'm now dating believes and practices chivalry. Yes I've dated guys who have opened doors for me...but to date someone who practices chivalry completely is new to me.
I don't think it's a matter of equality. I think it's the man treating the woman like a princess, and the woman treating the man like he's a prince. It's making each other feel wanted and valued...to mutually do things for each other out of respect for one another.0 -
If it is, I'd lay my bets down that Feminists killed it.0
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I can't comprehend a woman getting uptight about a man opening the door for them....it just astounds me. I've seen it mentioned quite a few times here and in other threads so it must be true...but seriously it just leaves me shaking my head that some women get offended when a person opens the door for them.
I took feminist theory in college. The explanation for this (ridiculous) anger is that it began when women wore hoop skirts and couldn't physically reach doors o open them for themselves because of their clothing. So it's seen in modern times as men saying that women are incapable of opening doors for themselves.
A bit of a reach, but that's the explanation for those who are wondering (as I always did).0 -
Most of the princesses in stories get locked away in towers, as I recall.I've told my 24 year old daughter to hold out for the guy that will treat her like a princess0 -
This is *just* my opinion, but I feel pretty strongly about it. Chivalry is mostly alive and well, and thank goodness for that. Women would be in a mess of trouble if it ever "went out of style".
Chivalry, at its core, is based on women being the weaker sex; and hate me if you want, but women *are* the (physically) weaker sex. If you've ever looked at the numbers put up by males and females in the same weight class at a powerlifting competition, there are HUGE disparities. There are exceptions to every rule, but genetically speaking, a man and a woman of equal weight are not equal in strength. Any woman that thinks she is equal in strength to her male counterpart is, statistically, incorrect.
Chivalry teaches men to be careful with women, to treat them with respect, gentleness and, above all else, to protect them and keep them from harm. Men should know that they are stronger than women, to discourage this and pretend it doesn't exist is to do both men and women a disservice.
I love that women are empowered, and they should be equal. Equality is defined as the state of being equal, especially in status, rights and opportunities. There is no reason that women should not be held equal in these areas because of a disparity in physical strength. But open your eyes. The ability to feel empowered is a result of society, and it is because of chivalry. Look at places where chivalry is not a concept and you will see women being treated as chattel, being bought and sold and traded as a commodity, being abused and treated as slaves - what you see is nature. Nature is beautiful, but also ugly - and the truth of nature is that the strong prey on the weak. In societies where it isn't ingrained in men that women are to be treated gently, protected, guarded, treated with immense respect and allowed to flourish and be equals, you see subservient women.
I would be horrified if I ever heard a woman snap at a man for opening a door for her or offering to help her carry something heavy. Yes, you can open your own door, and you are almost positively able to carry that package on your own, but every time a man offers, he is showing you that he's on board. That he's invested in protecting women, that he respects you, that he's there if you ever need him. Next time, it may not be a package or a door, next time it may be someone stronger than you trying to do you harm, and that chivalrous door-opener might be the only thing standing in the way of you and physical harm.
So to every man that's ever held the door open for me, offered to carry my books for me, pulled over to offer me assistance with changing a tire, or the hundreds of other times you've extended yourself to help me - Thank you. Thank you for letting me know that you respect me, that you see me, and that you're there for me. Thank you for watching over me. May you be blessed by whatever power you believe in.0
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