Totally not cool.

rml_16

A bit extreme but you could always just move

Actually, this may be the answer. I spent two straight years barely dating and not meeting anyone worth a relationship when I lived in one city. I moved 1,000 miles away and four months later was living with the man who I'm now engaged to.

In certain circumstances, it may be the answer. There would be a lot of factors in play. On the surface, it would appear that Auckland would be a good enough dating environment though.

You base this on???

I moved from a larger area to a smaller one. Like, from hundreds of thousands population to 50,000 in the entire county.

The key phrase is "on the surface". There's a big population in Auckland and many possibilities for the OP to get asked out.

Too few choices is a bad thing. However, conversely, too many choices often leads to bad decision making. This is a problem that I see in the dating markets of big cities and especially with many women who date online. A lot of times, in really big cities, everyone is convinced the next best thing is around the corner and are overly harsh on existing options (true of both sexes). Part of this explains why people claim that they can't find anyone. But in a smaller town, it is very common to have people paired off at 25, leaving older singles SOL.

So because there are a lot of people, you assume it's a good place for dating. That really has not been my experience and I've lived in small towns and big cities (more than one each).

It's far more difficult to meet people in bigger cities.

dbmata

It's far more difficult to meet people in bigger cities.

Depends on the person and the city. zero problems when I lived in Reno, NV and it was hard to find decent talent when I was in Sacramento, CA. Two completely different sized cities. Then you move on up to SF and there is no chance in hell you'll have a problem. Just simple numbers at work.

rml_16

It's far more difficult to meet people in bigger cities.

Depends on the person and the city. zero problems when I lived in Reno, NV and it was hard to find decent talent when I was in Sacramento, CA. Two completely different sized cities. Then you move on up to SF and there is no chance in hell you'll have a problem. Just simple numbers at work.

You think Sacramento is a small town?

Mia_RagazzaTosta

I've asked several women on dates before just to hear them talk with their foreign accents. Kinda just puts me in a trance.

I speak Yankee

ldrosophila

I dont know what is wrong with the dudes in New Zealand. Find a nice American boy.

One more thing your birds are the cutest!

shutyourpieholeandsquat

I disagree..... I live in a small area and it's WAY harder because everybody's already married!

dbmata

It's far more difficult to meet people in bigger cities.

Depends on the person and the city. zero problems when I lived in Reno, NV and it was hard to find decent talent when I was in Sacramento, CA. Two completely different sized cities. Then you move on up to SF and there is no chance in hell you'll have a problem. Just simple numbers at work.

You think Sacramento is a small town?

I wrote city. Yes, it is a small city. SF is a medium sized city.

Where I live now is a large town. Now compare this to 1.4mil pulses in auckland.

Point is, regardless of location, it is what you make it.

DamePiglet

standards are your enemy.

Even if this dude is goofing, he has a point.

OP thinks that she's surrounded by short, skinny guys.

She's made it clear that she would NOT date men who are smaller than her because she needs to feel protected.

So, which is the more likely situation:
That ALL those guys are WRONG for not asking OP out?
or
OP is making sure they know that they're unacceptable, even if she doesn't realize it?

Hate me all you want, people, but I'll tell it like it is:
OP ain't alone because of her looks or quirky fashion sense.

kyleekay10

I am a kiwi girl, you know a girl from New Zealand. I am not sure if it is my culture or who I am or whatever, but I have never been asked out on a date. Is this a common thing? I am 31 years old, I look younger, I do prefer the younger guys, but at this point anyone who is decent and not too old would be nice. I am really quirky and out there but I don't feel that should be a problem. Just want to know what is wrong with the men out there that can't treat a woman with respect and kindness and actually ask her out?! Oh I have had plenty of guys want sex from me, no I don't dress like a slut, but I don't get dates and I have been completely single for 5 years. So I thought, since I was feel lonely and sad about it tonight, I would start a discussion about this. What do you all think? What is this about?

the piercings scare men away

Speaking from experience, piercings alone are not a large enough deterrent to prevent someone from ever getting asked out.

RonnieLodge

I am a kiwi girl, you know a girl from New Zealand. I am not sure if it is my culture or who I am or whatever, but I have never been asked out on a date. Is this a common thing? I am 31 years old, I look younger, I do prefer the younger guys, but at this point anyone who is decent and not too old would be nice. I am really quirky and out there but I don't feel that should be a problem. Just want to know what is wrong with the men out there that can't treat a woman with respect and kindness and actually ask her out?! Oh I have had plenty of guys want sex from me, no I don't dress like a slut, but I don't get dates and I have been completely single for 5 years. So I thought, since I was feel lonely and sad about it tonight, I would start a discussion about this. What do you all think? What is this about?

Hi, I am a Kiwi too.

I have lived in the UK and in NZ and the dating culture is pretty much by osmosis. I.e. you go out with your friends (or with work or flatmates), get drunk and go home with the same guy a few times and when you mates figure this out/you are seen together - you are a couple!

In my experience, NZ guys don't really *do* dating. As in the asking out a stranger or someone they have met only a few times to go out for A Date. And (in my experience) UK guys aren't so hot with it either.

It tends to be meeting through friends or work type of thing again.

I don't think it is out of disrespect or unkindness, simply that they don't really know any better or are too frightened of being turned down.

It is up to us to (nicely!) tell them that we would love for them to take us out for dinner/to a movie/bowling etc.

Guys from the US, Europe and Jamaica are GREAT with the dating (in my opinion).
In the US & UK I have been randomly stopped in the street and asked to go for a coffee. And going out on a date with US guys is great because the ones I have dated were really attentive and made sure I had a good time and got home safe regardless of whether they would be staying over.

Some friends of mine have had fun with NZ dating.com and the like - if you want to be going out, perhaps give internet dating a whirl? I found it pretty fun when I did it.

CharleePear

If the ratio of women to men in New Zealand is 3/1 the odds are stacked against you to begin with. You do have a unique style, which I applaud, but the men that style attracts most likely are not the type you are looking for. Most men hitting 30 have a career where they can't have a style like yours and the women they are approaching are the ones they can take home for holiday. I am sure they can take you to meet family and friends but if their family/friends is not into the style....they would need to do the whole get to know her, you'll get why she is so great, thing. For a lot of men that would be a lot of extra work that without already knowing you, they may just not want to put in.

Wow, where did you find the 3:1 female to male ratio? Census data for New Zealand has it at 1.05 : 1, male : female ratio.

The most extreme ratio on planet is China with a 1.12 : 1, male : female ratio.

Dunno why you sited Wikipedia, cos it's not always accurate. I had heard it millions of times before and did my research. I found data that claims the ratio and an article that said you are just as likely to find a man when you are a 35 year old woman than if you were a 86 year old woman. Not awesome.

DMZ_1

It's far more difficult to meet people in bigger cities.

Depends on the person and the city. zero problems when I lived in Reno, NV and it was hard to find decent talent when I was in Sacramento, CA. Two completely different sized cities. Then you move on up to SF and there is no chance in hell you'll have a problem. Just simple numbers at work.

There are nuances unique to each city that a person lives in. But I find people partner off earlier in life in smaller areas.

CharleePear

I am a kiwi girl, you know a girl from New Zealand. I am not sure if it is my culture or who I am or whatever, but I have never been asked out on a date. Is this a common thing? I am 31 years old, I look younger, I do prefer the younger guys, but at this point anyone who is decent and not too old would be nice. I am really quirky and out there but I don't feel that should be a problem. Just want to know what is wrong with the men out there that can't treat a woman with respect and kindness and actually ask her out?! Oh I have had plenty of guys want sex from me, no I don't dress like a slut, but I don't get dates and I have been completely single for 5 years. So I thought, since I was feel lonely and sad about it tonight, I would start a discussion about this. What do you all think? What is this about?

Hi, I am a Kiwi too.

I have lived in the UK and in NZ and the dating culture is pretty much by osmosis. I.e. you go out with your friends (or with work or flatmates), get drunk and go home with the same guy a few times and when you mates figure this out/you are seen together - you are a couple!

In my experience, NZ guys don't really *do* dating. As in the asking out a stranger or someone they have met only a few times to go out for A Date. And (in my experience) UK guys aren't so hot with it either.

It tends to be meeting through friends or work type of thing again.

I don't think it is out of disrespect or unkindness, simply that they don't really know any better or are too frightened of being turned down.

It is up to us to (nicely!) tell them that we would love for them to take us out for dinner/to a movie/bowling etc.

Guys from the US, Europe and Jamaica are GREAT with the dating (in my opinion).
In the US & UK I have been randomly stopped in the street and asked to go for a coffee. And going out on a date with US guys is great because the ones I have dated were really attentive and made sure I had a good time and got home safe regardless of whether they would be staying over.

Some friends of mine have had fun with NZ dating.com and the like - if you want to be going out, perhaps give internet dating a whirl? I found it pretty fun when I did it.
[/quote

Yeah I know they don't I don't expect the same type of dating as Americans, though I never got asked out there either but I was in a small city in ministry school and there was only one guy in 950 students who was hardcore like I am. No I just mean, get to know me and if you like me ask me out...Still don't have that.