Holy sexism, batman!
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Let's be honest; you don't have to be at your goal weight to get attention. You don't need to have a Baywatch bod to turn heads. You don't even need to be looking for attention to get it.
Earlier tonight: I've had a few glasses of wine. I head to the liquor store 10 mins away at 9:00 pm, alone, but made sure my mum and boyfriend knew what was up just in case. Everything's great until I get home, and on the walkway to the building is some guy. No big deal. Across the way on the grass is another guy. Now it's kindof a deal. But still, head down, keep marching, and don't look like you're asking for trouble, right? Wrong. Catcalling. Not flattering. I never pull the door closed on anyone, but tonight I made an exception, both for the outer and inner (key access only) doors. Once I'm in, two inebriated guys come out of the elevator. No catcalls, just uncomfortable looks. You know the kind when you're coveting a fancy dress or plate of food? Not the look anyone is supposed to give a stranger. I walk in a wide arc around, then get in the elevator and lay on the "close doors" button, just in case. My heart doesn't stop pounding until I'm behind the locked door of my apartment, and even then, I keep an ear out just in case anyone saw my floor from the lobby.
Say what you want. Say sexism is a myth, and feminism is redundant because women have no reason to feel marginalized. If you can't feel safe walking around your own home, there's a problem.
Not looking for pity or attention, just a little positive support.
Sad the UK has such strict gun laws. Then you wouldnt have to be afraid in your own dwelling0 -
Oh, and btw:
"mangina"
What MRAs call other men who don't uphold their misogynist views, therefore shaming a man by comparing him to the "lesser" woman. Men's rights indeed. Progressive.
Misogynist: What feminists call men who don't uphold their misandric views, therefore shaming a man by comparing him to psychopaths and spree killers such as George Lepine. Feminism is a movement of equality. Very Progressive.
FIXED, now crawl back to Tumblr or Jezebel and whine about the imaginary patriarchy and pay gap.
LOL, wow. I'll assume my definition of Mangina stands, then. Since you did not refute it.
did I hit a nerve?0 -
Not just sexism - it's plain ol' scary! There are some creepy folks out there.
I walk to work every morning and before I leave I stop in front of the mirror and put on my 'fearless warrior ' attitude...0 -
Drink|Drunk. Know your line.
I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.
If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.
date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.
As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.
Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.
Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.
How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?
What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.
So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.
Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.
If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!
Omg I was reading through to catch up and I've stopped here. So no one should have sex if they've had drink in case they don't have enthusiastic consent?!
Perhaps everyone should sign up to a sexual contract beforehand just to be sure hey??0 -
Well, since the women in this thread have been informed multiple times how not to be harassed (when the logical answer is "Men should not harass women") the tables have been turned. Sure, the logical answer should be "Women shouldn't make false claims of rape" but, instead, we're going to tell men not to have sex with women they don't trust or with women who are incapacitated in any way. Sound fair to you?
Drink|Drunk. Know your line.
I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.
If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.
date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.
As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.
Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.
Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.
How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?
What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.
So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.
Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.
If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!
Omg I was reading through to catch up and I've stopped here. So no one should have sex if they've had drink in case they don't have enthusiastic consent?!
Perhaps everyone should sign up to a sexual contract beforehand just to be sure hey??0 -
Well, since the women in this thread have been informed multiple times how not to be harassed (when the logical answer is "Men should not harass women") the tables have been turned. Sure, the logical answer should be "Women shouldn't make false claims of rape" but, instead, we're going to tell men not to have sex with women they don't trust or with women who are incapacitated in any way. Sound fair to you?
Drink|Drunk. Know your line.
I will say this, clearly and unequivocally, one. more. time. There should not be such a double standard as you have described. What you are describing is wrong. No I am not saying women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds. That is the double standard you have described. I most certainly do not think that.
If only there were some way we could, oh, I don't know, *teach* people that if she (or he) was drunk/drugged, she (or he) didn't give affirmative consent! If only there were some way of combating these ridiculous double standards! http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2013/03/enthusiastic-consent/
So, it couldn't possibly be the case that some dudes are ignorant about what constitutes explicit, affirmative consent and would not benefit from being educated that consent is never implied, or that consent cannot be given by someone who is impaired by alcohol or drugs? OK. Carry on then.I don't think anyone needs to be taught not to rape lol do you think someone would be raping people for years, then hear someone say "no dude rape is bad you shouldn't do that" and they'd be like "really? guess I'll stop". And this whole thought that there is a culture that promotes rape completely blows my mind. Rapists are criminals. That's it.
date rape. drunk rape. drugs rape.
As I said before. If both parties are equally intoxicated, all blame falls on the man and he can be charged with rape, even if she consented while drunk. This is where things get ridiculous. And I'm in no way saying that rape or date rape or anything like that are ok, but the double standards are out of hand.
Um like I said, if both parties are intoxicated.
Say you go out to the bar, meet a girl, bring her back home. She's definitely down for sex, in fact taking your clothes off. You guys do the deed, while both of you are drunk. She can turn around the next morning and charge you for rape.
How can anyone think that is just? Are you saying that women can't comprehend anything if they've had a few drinks but men are evil masterminds? But I thought men and women were equal?
What I *am* saying is that neither party was capable of giving informed, enthusiastic consent.
So, maybe don't do the deed when you're impaired. I know, that's a crazy radical idea. Nobody ever got their rocks off when they were stone cold sober.
Wait so no one should have sex if they've been drinking? Are you serious? Lol ok I'm out this is ridiculous.
If it works for driving a frickin' car, why is it so crazy for applying to intimate actions involving another human being's body?!
Omg I was reading through to catch up and I've stopped here. So no one should have sex if they've had drink in case they don't have enthusiastic consent?!
Perhaps everyone should sign up to a sexual contract beforehand just to be sure hey??
seems fair.0 -
I would also like to point out that false accusations of rape are very rare. And that unreported rapes are fairly common.0
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I would also like to point out that false accusations of rape are very rare. And that unreported rapes are fairly common.
And you know this how? :huh:0 -
Oh, and btw:
"mangina"
What MRAs call other men who don't uphold their misogynist views, therefore shaming a man by comparing him to the "lesser" woman. Men's rights indeed. Progressive.
Misogynist: What feminists call men who don't uphold their misandric views, therefore shaming a man by comparing him to psychopaths and spree killers such as George Lepine. Feminism is a movement of equality. Very Progressive.
FIXED, now crawl back to Tumblr or Jezebel and whine about the imaginary patriarchy and pay gap.
LOL, wow. I'll assume my definition of Mangina stands, then. Since you did not refute it.
did I hit a nerve?
Those who disagree with feminist dogma tend to labeled as misogynists, gender traitors, or anti-feminists, so the insult is really meaningless.
Mangina isn't sexist, it came into being when men , especially feminist men started to encompass and promote the misandry of feminism; i.e. men are warmongers, rapists, abusers, and so on. In their rhetoric they promote negative stereotypes of men and obliquely claim women are the superior gender. It's as if they covet to be female while they loathe their own gender; thus have vagina envy. Michael Kimmel and Jackson Kaatz are two notable examples of a mangina.
It isn't exclusively used by MRAs, (as MRAs try to be too politically correct to use the term) but pickup artists too or the general mansophere. Even common people not associated with the mansophere, both men and women use the term.0 -
That wasn't sexism, just a few guys being pigs.
Next time walk with your head up and confident. If you feel threatened look them in the face. Guys won't attack or try to touch you if there's a chance you could describe them to the police. Keeping your head down is more likely to lead to an attack because you look unsure, weak and timid.
Exactly! People who walk around staring at the ground look like victims. The less you look like a victim the less likely you are to be one. People who are confident and situationally aware are more likely to be left alone.
^this...
...and in...
...to learn what perceived and real wrongs committed by others of my gender for which I will be expected to recompense.0 -
Every brewery in the world would go out of business if people stopped going out for drinks and sex...0
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I would also like to point out that false accusations of rape are very rare. And that unreported rapes are fairly common.
I think Susan Brownmiller said only 2% of rape accusations are false, despite her source being bad.
There are a few studies on the subject, some studies showing 40 to 90%. Difficult to say if it is common or not as a lot of studies use flawed methodology, and there has never been a survey designed to gauge the dark area of the crime unknown or known to police.0 -
what's MRA mean?
Men's Rights Activist I presume.
Lots of talk of blue pills and red pills and the like...0 -
what's MRA mean?
Men's Rights Activist I presume.
Lots of talk of blue pills and red pills and the like...
ahhhh got it, thanks0 -
That wasn't sexism, just a few guys being pigs.
Next time walk with your head up and confident. If you feel threatened look them in the face. Guys won't attack or try to touch you if there's a chance you could describe them to the police. Keeping your head down is more likely to lead to an attack because you look unsure, weak and timid.
Exactly! People who walk around staring at the ground look like victims. The less you look like a victim the less likely you are to be one. People who are confident and situationally aware are more likely to be left alone.
^this...
...and in...
...to learn what perceived and real wrongs committed by others of my gender for which I will be expected to recompense.
+1000
Predators don't generally prefer to go after 'aware' prey. Even better if you actually have a clue how to handle yourself and don't just mimic the behavior of someone who does.
And BTW, when did catcalling become threatening? I'm no fan of it, but I've never felt like I needed protection because some *kitten* is making a fool of himself. They weren't moving toward the OP, right? Just standing back and being loud mouths? Now the guy who pursued me down a crowded street in broad daylight, grabbing my arm and trying to drag me in an alley while telling me in explicit terms what he was going to do to me when he got me there ... yeah. That warranted some nervousness on my part. If he hadn't let go and given up when I twisted out of his grip, I'd have broken his fingers for him.0 -
Sorry OP, that's not sexist.
Your "I am a helpless woman, OMG, there are 2 guys in my building and they are looking at me!" does nothing to help get rid of TRUE sexism.
Not everyone who looks at you or even catcalls(disrespectful, i agree), is out to get you.
I would assume you lead a fairly sheltered life. From my personal experience, i can tell you that the best thing to do when you find yourself in a really threatening situation is to act confident, look people in the eyes and don't show fear. Stand your ground at all times.0 -
Just putting this here..
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I would also like to point out that false accusations of rape are very rare. And that unreported rapes are fairly common.
And you know this how? :huh:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_accusation_of_rape#FBI_statistics
FBI statistics say unfounded accusations of rape (which is false accusations AND accusations where there is little evidence) is 8%.0 -
To exude power over another does not require a specific gender formula nor a rating of hot or not. That is one of the biggest misconceptions about being attacked or sexually assaulted. Sounds like they were seeking to victimize someone they deemed weak. I am glad that you were not harmed!0
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What are the statistics on unreported rapes, specifically the ones that clearly indicate that they are 'fairly common?'I would also like to point out that false accusations of rape are very rare. And that unreported rapes are fairly common.
And you know this how? :huh:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_accusation_of_rape#FBI_statistics
FBI statistics say unfounded accusations of rape (which is false accusations AND accusations where there is little evidence) is 8%.0
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