'Tis the season to be insulted by family members?

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  • kagevf
    kagevf Posts: 509 Member
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    time to change those negatives.

    let me help you out and get your sexy back on! add me and I will show you a meal plan, workout plan...and I will wear my friends cheer outfit and wave pom-poms to cheer you on!

    lets work it!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    time to change those negatives.

    let me help you out and get your sexy back on! add me and I will show you a meal plan, workout plan...and I will wear my friends cheer outfit and wave pom-poms to cheer you on!

    lets work it!

    Ummm.....and how much does your meal and workout plan cost? :laugh:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    how old is the little girl? she's either at that age of innocence where kids just blab out whatever they see or the family talks about being fat all the time.

    She is 10, almost 11. Plenty old to understand the effect her words have on others. I see that she is struggling to push boundaries and feel people out, and that is okay. I am more than happy to help her through that. It makes me sad, though, because she seems to get quite the kick out of it. At that age, it is not acceptable. A six year old? Yeah! I can see that. But 10-11? Nah.

    She's 10...she's a kid. Kids will say it as it is and what's rude/shouldn't be said is something her parents need to teach her. But again she's 10 and you're the adult. And if you get hurt (or rather, how much you let it hurt/bother you) is all on you.

    If it's the truth, it's the truth. I'm fat but I'm not going to let something someone (especially a child) says get to me. I'm doing something about me being fat and I'm proud of that. If you are actively doing something about it, then you are doing something about the problem and that should be enough for you to get over what anyone else says.
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
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    When I was eating an extra piece of cake on my 16th birthday my father top me nobody was going to take me away and marry me if I kept eating like that and called me fat like he frequently did as I grew up. At that time I was at my tiniest which was a size 5. I'll add that I got there in a very unhealthy way. I had become bulimic and worked out in my room 14 hours a day. Nobody noticed and I was still called fat. I decided it didn't matter anymore and ballooned back up. It hurt a lot and it still does. I now use that memory do give me that extra drive to work out harder. But this time I am doing it right with people who support me. My family is far away now and can't hurt me anymore because I won't let them.

    Sorry for the long story but that is my experience with mean family members.Children learn from their parents so your nieces mom is the one who needs a swift kick in the butt. Just remember you are stronger and will meet your goals.

    And use this as a comeback: I may or not be a little weight challenged but you are mean and I can lose weight.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    time to change those negatives.

    let me help you out and get your sexy back on! add me and I will show you a meal plan, workout plan...and I will wear my friends cheer outfit and wave pom-poms to cheer you on!

    lets work it!
    pics of cheer outfit pls.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    When I was eating an extra piece of cake on my 16th birthday my father top me nobody was going to take me away and marry me if I kept eating like that and called me fat like he frequently did as I grew up. At that time I was at my tiniest which was a size 5. I'll add that I got there in a very unhealthy way. I had become bulimic and worked out in my room 14 hours a day. Nobody noticed and I was still called fat. I decided it didn't matter anymore and ballooned back up. It hurt a lot and it still does. I now use that memory do give me that extra drive to work out harder. But this time I am doing it right with people who support me. My family is far away now and can't hurt me anymore because I won't let them.

    Sorry for the long story but that is my experience with mean family members.Children learn from their parents so your nieces mom is the one who needs a swift kick in the butt. Just remember you are stronger and will meet your goals.

    And use this as a comeback: I may or not be a little weight challenged but you are mean and I can lose weight.

    The OP heard her neice making an, apparently true, observation and you feel that a proper response is for the eavesdropping OP to confront and then accuse a child (who didn't say a word to the OP about her weight) of being mean.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    I guess it's old-fashioned thinking to teach your children "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." So sorry your family is making you feel awful. And yes, it is still an insult even if it's true. There is a world of difference in a concerned loved one taking a person aside and expressing concern for their health and a child being allowed to call someone fat.
  • danapenguin
    danapenguin Posts: 161
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    omg yes! my family constantly tease me about my big butt and thunder thighs! then tonight i ate so much food that my stomach stuck out and i heard someone say i looked prego! WTF?!
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    how old is the little girl? she's either at that age of innocence where kids just blab out whatever they see or the family talks about being fat all the time.

    She is 10, almost 11. Plenty old to understand the effect her words have on others. I see that she is struggling to push boundaries and feel people out, and that is okay. I am more than happy to help her through that. It makes me sad, though, because she seems to get quite the kick out of it. At that age, it is not acceptable. A six year old? Yeah! I can see that. But 10-11? Nah.

    She's 10...she's a kid. Kids will say it as it is and what's rude/shouldn't be said is something her parents need to teach her. But again she's 10 and you're the adult. And if you get hurt (or rather, how much you let it hurt/bother you) is all on you.

    If it's the truth, it's the truth. I'm fat but I'm not going to let something someone (especially a child) says get to me. I'm doing something about me being fat and I'm proud of that. If you are actively doing something about it, then you are doing something about the problem and that should be enough for you to get over what anyone else says.

    Yeah, it isn't really about her - it hurt my feelings and made me stop and think about my eating issues. I have been numb and ignoring my physical self for months, and her comments made me feel something again. It isn't really about whether she is a child or not, I am merely sharing the effect it had on me and asking for similar experiences to be shared.

    Sometimes things get to us, no matter how resilient we like to believe we are. Sometimes something breaks through that wall, and sometimes something good comes of it. :) I'm going to make the best of the sting.
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    When I was eating an extra piece of cake on my 16th birthday my father top me nobody was going to take me away and marry me if I kept eating like that and called me fat like he frequently did as I grew up. At that time I was at my tiniest which was a size 5. I'll add that I got there in a very unhealthy way. I had become bulimic and worked out in my room 14 hours a day. Nobody noticed and I was still called fat. I decided it didn't matter anymore and ballooned back up. It hurt a lot and it still does. I now use that memory do give me that extra drive to work out harder. But this time I am doing it right with people who support me. My family is far away now and can't hurt me anymore because I won't let them.

    Sorry for the long story but that is my experience with mean family members.Children learn from their parents so your nieces mom is the one who needs a swift kick in the butt. Just remember you are stronger and will meet your goals.

    And use this as a comeback: I may or not be a little weight challenged but you are mean and I can lose weight.

    The OP heard her neice making an, apparently true, observation and you feel that a proper response is for the eavesdropping OP to confront and then accuse a child (who didn't say a word to the OP about her weight) of being mean.

    I wasn't eavesdropping. It was in the den, and our entire family was sitting in the room. And I don't plan to hold this against her in any way. Again, it really isn't about the child.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Is it too much to ask to go through one holiday season without a family member commenting on weight or food intake?
    Yes, it is too much to ask.
    Needless to say, I spent the rest of the weekend hiding.
    Why on earth would you do that because of what a child says?
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    Is it too much to ask to go through one holiday season without a family member commenting on weight or food intake?

    Yes, it is too much to ask.

    Truth.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Is it an insult if someone, particularly a child, is telling you the truth?

    The kid is preparing for a future career as a member of the MFP Meanies.
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    Is it too much to ask to go through one holiday season without a family member commenting on weight or food intake?
    Yes, it is too much to ask.
    Needless to say, I spent the rest of the weekend hiding.
    Why on earth would you do that because of what a child says?

    I have severe social anxiety and other problems - it doesn't take much.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    Is it too much to ask to go through one holiday season without a family member commenting on weight or food intake?
    Yes, it is too much to ask.
    Needless to say, I spent the rest of the weekend hiding.
    Why on earth would you do that because of what a child says?

    I have severe social anxiety and other problems - it doesn't take much.

    I'm very sorry to hear that. It's unfortunate, but kids are going to do mortifying things all the time.
  • SerenaKitty
    SerenaKitty Posts: 142
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    children are rude

    And modern parents are complacent. Scary stuff.
  • Cheeky_and_Geeky
    Cheeky_and_Geeky Posts: 984 Member
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    Last Christmas my 3 year old niece called me pregnant. I laughed it off & told her no I'm just fat! I made an embarrassing situation funny. Its hurtful, but try to make the best of it. Hang in there
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I'm sorry of this comes off as too blunt, but if you're fat...then you're fat. The kid was tactless, of course, but it isn't like you are unaware of it, so why let it affect you so greatly that you'd go and hide and let your holiday be ruined over it?

    I'm sorry that you feel bad, but you're being overly sensitive about it. Time to accept that you are the way that you are and also accept that you're changing it, so that isn't the way you will always be.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Is it too much to ask to go through one holiday season without a family member commenting on weight or food intake?
    Yes, it is too much to ask.
    Needless to say, I spent the rest of the weekend hiding.
    Why on earth would you do that because of what a child says?

    I have severe social anxiety and other problems - it doesn't take much.

    I'm very sorry to hear that. It's unfortunate, but kids are going to do mortifying things all the time.

    Yes, OP, take heart! I am quite certain your niece has embarrassed your aunt more than once. THIS is why parents need to be careful what they say around their kids, and nick any hurtful talk in the bud. They also need to own what their kids say. Your aunt was wrong not to apologize, and/or have your niece apologize to you.

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