Adopt-A-Noob Program: Reality_Is_Harsh

24

Replies

  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    Hey, you even changed your outfit to post this :wink:

    (I'm not creepy, really)
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Hey, you even changed your outfit to post this :wink:

    (I'm not creepy, really)

    Drunken NYE picture changing. It won't last. :laugh:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    Snip

    ***Please send me a message with nude before FR'ing me***

    Snip

    If you send a nude, you will be immediately disqualified. :laugh:

    Welp, I'm out. *leaves thread*
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    The positives I bring:

    1. Better than mister_universe.

    2. A lot better.

    3. I have a strong grasp of nutrition and certain aspects of fitness.

    4. While I am blunt and won't tolerate whiners, I do actually care if you succeed.

    5. Willing to walk you through the science of why certain things work and others don't.


    ***Please send me a message before FR'ing me***

    To those who are interested: I am not looking for someone who simply wants to be told what to do. I'm looking for someone who wants to become an actual part of the community, learn about nutrition, and are willing to put in the effort to achieve their goals. I am also looking for those with a great sense of humor as I can be crude, perverted, and love shenanigans. So if you're a prude, don't appreciate crass humor, or completely unmotivated, let's just accept that we won't work out.


    Thanks to Mr. Universe for the idea.

    Are you requiring spaying and neutering and/or an adoption fee?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    The positives I bring:

    1. Better than mister_universe.

    2. A lot better.

    3. I have a strong grasp of nutrition and certain aspects of fitness.

    4. While I am blunt and won't tolerate whiners, I do actually care if you succeed.

    5. Willing to walk you through the science of why certain things work and others don't.


    ***Please send me a message before FR'ing me***

    To those who are interested: I am not looking for someone who simply wants to be told what to do. I'm looking for someone who wants to become an actual part of the community, learn about nutrition, and are willing to put in the effort to achieve their goals. I am also looking for those with a great sense of humor as I can be crude, perverted, and love shenanigans. So if you're a prude, don't appreciate crass humor, or completely unmotivated, let's just accept that we won't work out.


    Thanks to Mr. Universe for the idea.

    Are you requiring spaying and neutering and/or an adoption fee?

    Yes to spaying/neutering, and no adoption fee.
  • __Angie__
    __Angie__ Posts: 31
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by
  • Mischieviousme777
    Mischieviousme777 Posts: 190 Member
    P.S. No crazy ones

    Two non-crazies.. Who want to be members of the community? Those exist? Do they live among the unicorns? :laugh:
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
    Can I be a noob?
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    Yeah, but that's pretty darn good, I think! :flowerforyou:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Glad to see you follwed through with it T!

    I copied and changed yours as a template for mine. I would have had mine up earlier, but, naptime hit unexpectedly.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    And I got my first negative message!!! Let's see how many more silly, hateful people I get. :laugh:
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    And I got my first negative message!!! Let's see how many more silly, hateful people I get. :laugh:

    What?? Unbelievable. People, this guy knows what he is doing AND talking about. Jump at the chance to pick his brain I tell you! :drinker:
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Glad to see you follwed through with it T!

    I copied and changed yours as a template for mine. I would have had mine up earlier, but, naptime hit unexpectedly.

    :laugh: :yawn:
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    I've never wanted a noob more than this one. *faints*

    This feels like The Voice. Christina lucks into an awesome noob talent. :grumble:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    And I got my first negative message!!! Let's see how many more silly, hateful people I get. :laugh:

    Wow. And what's even funnier is that they couldn't put their opinions here.
  • nickylee76
    nickylee76 Posts: 629 Member
    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    And I got my first negative message!!! Let's see how many more silly, hateful people I get. :laugh:

    Wow. And what's even funnier is that they couldn't put their opinions here.

    Cowardice usually occurs in the shadows.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    10/10 Would share burger with.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!

    I think she was talking about Pizza.
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    giphy.gif
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    ricky-bobby.png
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    elf-i-m-in-love_o_gifsoup-com.gif
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    elf-i-m-in-love_o_gifsoup-com.gif

    Ry, I don't suppose that's your wife, is it? :laugh:
  • nickylee76
    nickylee76 Posts: 629 Member
    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!

    I think she was talking about Pizza.

    Pizza is best leftover cold.... I'm not cold... :flowerforyou:
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    elf-i-m-in-love_o_gifsoup-com.gif

    Ry, I don't suppose that's your wife, is it? :laugh:

    No. But potential soulmate none the less.....
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    OP, are you whierd?
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    OP, are you whierd?

    Depends on who you ask.
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
    Would you consider some kind of contest with mister_universe?

    You adopt 2 newbies, he adopts 2 newbies, and you see who can break both first, or something like that?

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