Adopt-A-Noob Program: Reality_Is_Harsh

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124

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  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    From what I read dirty photos will disqualify me so I'm only here to offer my support
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
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    Would you consider some kind of contest with mister_universe?

    You adopt 2 newbies, he adopts 2 newbies, and you see who can break both first, or something like that?

    that's a foregone conclusion. and dammit, you don't talk about noob club!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    elf-i-m-in-love_o_gifsoup-com.gif

    Ry, I don't suppose that's your wife, is it? :laugh:

    No. But potential soulmate none the less.....
    Maybe it's a kid you didn't know about? Can you account for your whereabouts in the late 80's early 90's?
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Welcome, Dear Noobs, to MFP.

    I hereby volunteer my services to two (2) MFP newbies in search of help on their journey to greater health.

    The positives I bring:

    1. Better than mister_universe.

    2. A lot better.

    3. I have a strong grasp of nutrition and certain aspects of fitness.

    4. While I am blunt and won't tolerate whiners, I do actually care if you succeed.

    5. Willing to walk you through the science of why certain things work and others don't.


    ***Please send me a message before FR'ing me***

    To those who are interested: I am not looking for someone who simply wants to be told what to do. I'm looking for someone who wants to become an actual part of the community, learn about nutrition, and are willing to put in the effort to achieve their goals. I am also looking for those with a great sense of humor as I can be crude, perverted, and love shenanigans. So if you're a prude, don't appreciate crass humor, or completely unmotivated, let's just accept that we won't work out.


    Thanks to Mr. Universe for the idea.

    Are you requiring spaying and neutering and/or an adoption fee?

    Yes to spaying/neutering, and no adoption fee.

    Spaying/neutering and adoption fees are fine... It's the blood work, net worth disclosure, and cavity search which concerns me (or perhaps disqualifies me) :grumble:
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Would you consider some kind of contest with mister_universe?

    You adopt 2 newbies, he adopts 2 newbies, and you see who can break both first, or something like that?

    hansel-zoolander-dance-off.gif
  • __Angie__
    __Angie__ Posts: 31
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    Would you consider some kind of contest with mister_universe?

    You adopt 2 newbies, he adopts 2 newbies, and you see who can break both first, or something like that?

    hansel-zoolander-dance-off.gif
    ^ That gif
  • 360hope360
    360hope360 Posts: 29
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    Im ready I need all the help I can get please let me know if you can help
  • __Angie__
    __Angie__ Posts: 31
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    Look at her form
    Isn't it weak?
    Wouldn't you think her training's incomplete?
    Wouldn't you think she's a noob
    Who has no clue
    Look at the gym
    Location untold
    How many lifters can one small gym hold?
    Looking around here you think
    Wow, she's not fitting in
    I've used treadmills and ellipticals aplenty
    I've used stair steppers and jump ropes galore
    You want DVD's?
    I've got twenty
    But who cares?
    No big deal
    I want more

    I wanna be where the athletes are
    I wanna look, wanna look just like them
    Strutting around with those- what's the word again?
    Oh-Muscles!

    Cardio only gets you so far
    Lifting's required for better fitness
    Running around with those- what do you call 'em?
    Cross trainers

    The room where they lift, the room where they bench
    The room where they work out just for fun
    So you can see- wish I could be
    Part of that world

    Don't mind me, I'm just a noob with way too much time on her hands passing by

    elf-i-m-in-love_o_gifsoup-com.gif

    Ry, I don't suppose that's your wife, is it? :laugh:

    No. But potential soulmate none the less.....
    Maybe it's a kid you didn't know about? Can you account for your whereabouts in the late 80's early 90's?
    Oh boy O.o
  • Derp_Diggler
    Derp_Diggler Posts: 1,456 Member
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    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!

    I think she was talking about Pizza.

    Pizza is best leftover cold[/b}.... I'm not cold... :flowerforyou:

    So is revenge. And I will get mine.

    That's right, I'm looking at you Mr. Universe

    Imlookingatyou_zps6af9db2d.gif
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!

    I think she was talking about Pizza.

    Pizza is best leftover cold[/b}.... I'm not cold... :flowerforyou:

    So is revenge. And I will get mine.

    That's right, I'm looking at you Mr. Universe

    Imlookingatyou_zps6af9db2d.gif

    1e49bcfa5ff9.gif
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    Would you consider some kind of contest with mister_universe?

    You adopt 2 newbies, he adopts 2 newbies, and you see who can break both first, or something like that?

    that's a foregone conclusion. and dammit, you don't talk about noob club!

    fight_club_300x298.jpg?maxWidth=500
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
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    And I got my first negative message!!! Let's see how many more silly, hateful people I get. :laugh:

    Wow. And what's even funnier is that they couldn't put their opinions here.

    I know! Cowards gonna' cower.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    *gets in line*
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
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    Lol well I guess if I don't get adopted by Mr Universe there's always #2....

    Disqualified, I don't accept Mr. Universe's leftovers. :angry:


    :( Leftovers are always best the next day!!

    Are you a pot of chili? ARE YOU?!

    I think she was talking about Pizza.

    Pizza is best leftover cold[/b}.... I'm not cold... :flowerforyou:

    So is revenge. And I will get mine.

    That's right, I'm looking at you Mr. Universe

    Imlookingatyou_zps6af9db2d.gif

    Would it not be easier to look at me over in my own thread?
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
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    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.

    MINE. :angry:
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.

    MINE. :angry:

    If you want to keep him, maybe you should add him to your FL.



    Or in other words...

    If you liked him then you should have put a FR on him.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Options
    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.

    MINE. :angry:

    If you want to keep him, maybe you should add him to your FL.



    Or in other words...

    If you liked him then you should have put a FR on him.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • __Angie__
    __Angie__ Posts: 31
    Options
    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.

    MINE. :angry:

    If you want to keep him, maybe you should add him to your FL.



    Or in other words...

    If you liked him then you should have put a FR on him.
    That was pretty clever haha
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    Options
    Wait, what?



    I clicked through to this thread to try to adopt Reality_Is_Harsh.

    MINE. :angry:

    If you want to keep him, maybe you should add him to your FL.



    Or in other words...

    If you liked him then you should have put a FR on him.

    We have an open relationship.

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