Does anyone actually want help?

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  • xLexa
    xLexa Posts: 482 Member
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    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)
  • THECaptainObvious
    THECaptainObvious Posts: 399 Member
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    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    Lately it seems like those who are coming here for help get knocked down with sarcastic/jibberish like answers and then the thread gets way off topic of what the original person asked. I like coming here to see if I can help or get help. Initially people don't want to hear the truth but the more they hear it the more they are going to have to accept it.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    This thread:

    standing-ovation.gif
  • CulturedCowgurl
    CulturedCowgurl Posts: 136 Member
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    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
  • scubasuenc
    scubasuenc Posts: 626 Member
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    I"m a relative n00b to MFP, but been losing (and gaining) weight my entire life. I think there are people who honestly want advice and help, I know I am one. I don't mind blunt, truthful, fact based advice, but what I see on a lot of the posts is people being rude and insulting.

    The old saying about catching more flies with honey is true. Starting off a post by calling someone a stupid idiot is not a way to get them to listen to advice. They will immediately tune out everything that follows and focus on their hurt feelings. I suggest stepping back, and just giving them fact based information on why they are wrong or what they need.

    And a dose of patience helps of course. :smile:
  • ScottH_200
    ScottH_200 Posts: 377 Member
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    A lot of these posts are submitted by trolls, bored and looking to get people worked up. I have to say though, some of them are pretty amusing at times.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Sometimes people really do need help.

    All those "I can't seem to eat 1200 calories" posts? I copy and paste a list of healthy fat/carb foods into a PM and usually get a heart-felt thank you.

    The people who really want to figure out what they need to do, I direct to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

    People get real help there, not just MFP debate.

    If you really want to help people and are credentialed, I'd love to see you start a moderated forum where people can ask for advice and get informed answers. As much help as Sarauk and SideSteel are, they have limited amounts of time.

    Some people just aren't ready to listen to the answers. I, personally, don't waste a lot of time on them. When they are ready to hear, there's plenty of help around.
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    I"m a relative n00b to MFP, but been losing (and gaining) weight my entire life. I think there are people who honestly want advice and help, I know I am one. I don't mind blunt, truthful, fact based advice, but what I see on a lot of the posts is people being rude and insulting.

    The old saying about catching more flies with honey is true. Starting off a post by calling someone a stupid idiot is not a way to get them to listen to advice. They will immediately tune out everything that follows and focus on their hurt feelings. I suggest stepping back, and just giving them fact based information on why they are wrong or what they need.

    And a dose of patience helps of course. :smile:
    If you honestly see posts calling someone stupid or idiotic, they should be reported. That's against the rules of the forum.
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
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    That's a relief! I'm very surprised to see anyone agree!

    You've obviously seen the same threads as me... January newbies are driving me mad already... Time to stay out the forums for a month or so!
    One has already stomped off and deactivated. I think it also would help if people understood how forums in general worked. But, that's asking waaay too much.

    I really hope that's the low carb woman!

    :laugh: :laugh:
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)

    ^^^^ This. ^^^

    So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?

    Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?

    Are you just venting?

    Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?

    Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.
  • dwithbenefithfc
    dwithbenefithfc Posts: 30
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    Great question. If your referring to my mentioning of "macros" in my first post I don't want to mislead. I follow a certain split for my sport. I do not agree with or follow the "iifym" theory that everyone believes is the new hotness.
    My quick response to those looking to lose body fat is keeping stable blood sugar while eating frequent small meals is a great place to start. Avoiding even fruit sugars will help decrease random insulin spikes throughout the day.
    You would be surprised to know how much you can eat calorically when you are eating the right things
    Well here's a question that plagues me. I hear about macros and I am curious what is most important; trying to reach goal weight; keeping calories under or reaching your maximum macros? I did just start lifting weights again and I am trying to eat as much protein as possible. I also try to keep my carbs lower than what I am allowed. I have been losing steadily but want to make sure this trend continues. Am I worrying too much about keeping calories low? I'll open my diary of you want to look at my last few days. Thanks
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
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    I'm a "stalker" :glasses: of the majority of these threads.
    Sometimes I respond/comment majority of the time I dont. But I have learned alot from my "snooping" habit:bigsmile:
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    Some people want unvarnished truth. Some people want sympathy or empathy. Some people want to vent. Some people want to proselytize. Some people want to argue. Some people want to post funny gifs.

    And sometimes, that "some people" is the same person - just experiencing different moods or needs. Don't sweat it. :smokin:

    Ditto that. Also, that some people come here to help "clear up confusion". The problem everyone here is sure they're right, so adding more opinions rarely clears up anything.
  • dwithbenefithfc
    dwithbenefithfc Posts: 30
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    lol I knew there would be at least one of you. No i don't need to vent. My goal is to attract others who feel the same and decide if the few moments of spare time I have are worth trying to help. It's what I love to do: figured this would be a cool place to do it. But with this account and my former one, it never seemed anyone wanted "help". And of course I "want" to know. Why else would I post?
    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)

    ^^^^ This. ^^^

    So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?

    Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?

    Are you just venting?

    Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?

    Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    most people just want confirmation that their magic bullet diet - cleanse, low carb, keto, etc - is going to work..and when they do not get confirmation of that they either...

    1. go away
    2. argue
    3 start a "MFP is mean thread"
    4 all of above...
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Options
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    I hear what you are saying. However, if you want this to work, you need to be able to take the nuggets of what they are saying and MAKE it work for you.

    -You've got to get active - 30 minutes a day 5X a week, and some of that should be resistance exercises (body weight or weight lifting) to protect your muscle mass while losing fat.
    - You've got to log all your calories.
    - You've got to figure out some way of portion control. I never had to weigh my food, but I knew that if I wasn't able to lose weight, that was the first place I'd need to make a change.
    - You've got to get the nutrition (including calories) to support yourself physically. Small changes trump big losses.

    If you're not meeting these minimum requirements, nobody's advice is going to do anything for you.
  • dwithbenefithfc
    dwithbenefithfc Posts: 30
    Options
    I'd love to do that

    Sometimes people really do need help.

    All those "I can't seem to eat 1200 calories" posts? I copy and paste a list of healthy fat/carb foods into a PM and usually get a heart-felt thank you.

    The people who really want to figure out what they need to do, I direct to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

    People get real help there, not just MFP debate.

    If you really want to help people and are credentialed, I'd love to see you start a moderated forum where people can ask for advice and get informed answers. As much help as Sarauk and SideSteel are, they have limited amounts of time.

    Some people just aren't ready to listen to the answers. I, personally, don't waste a lot of time on them. When they are ready to hear, there's plenty of help around.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    Options
    That's a relief! I'm very surprised to see anyone agree!

    You've obviously seen the same threads as me... January newbies are driving me mad already... Time to stay out the forums for a month or so!
    well at least we have some entertainment....
  • dwithbenefithfc
    dwithbenefithfc Posts: 30
    Options
    Great reply
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    I hear what you are saying. However, if you want this to work, you need to be able to take the nuggets of what they are saying and MAKE it work for you.

    -You've got to get active - 30 minutes a day 5X a week, and some of that should be resistance exercises (body weight or weight lifting) to protect your muscle mass while losing fat.
    - You've got to log all your calories.
    - You've got to figure out some way of portion control. I never had to weigh my food, but I knew that if I wasn't able to lose weight, that was the first place I'd need to make a change.
    - You've got to get the nutrition (including calories) to support yourself physically. Small changes trump big losses.

    If you're not meeting these minimum requirements, nobody's advice is going to do anything for you.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Options
    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    I think it depends on the person posting as to what they want. The problem with communities like this is that you never really know what point someone is at in their journey, so it's hard to gauge how receptive they are going to be to advice. Some people genuinely want help. Some people want sympathy, some want reassurance, and some I think just want to feel like they are not completely alone. Some just want to be bullheaded and have someone tell them they're right.

    As far as responses, some people do need the harsh truth and need to be hit over the head about things. I do think some posters go way overboard with their assumptions about people in their responses and get very judgmental. There's a lot of "well, I did it and if you're not doing it than you're not really dedicated/just making excuses/etc." It's hard to stay motivated and feel welcome in the community when your post about an issue you are having turns into a character attack.

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