Does anyone actually want help?

24567

Replies

  • Great question. If your referring to my mentioning of "macros" in my first post I don't want to mislead. I follow a certain split for my sport. I do not agree with or follow the "iifym" theory that everyone believes is the new hotness.
    My quick response to those looking to lose body fat is keeping stable blood sugar while eating frequent small meals is a great place to start. Avoiding even fruit sugars will help decrease random insulin spikes throughout the day.
    You would be surprised to know how much you can eat calorically when you are eating the right things
    Well here's a question that plagues me. I hear about macros and I am curious what is most important; trying to reach goal weight; keeping calories under or reaching your maximum macros? I did just start lifting weights again and I am trying to eat as much protein as possible. I also try to keep my carbs lower than what I am allowed. I have been losing steadily but want to make sure this trend continues. Am I worrying too much about keeping calories low? I'll open my diary of you want to look at my last few days. Thanks
  • 4daluvof_candice
    4daluvof_candice Posts: 483 Member
    I'm a "stalker" :glasses: of the majority of these threads.
    Sometimes I respond/comment majority of the time I dont. But I have learned alot from my "snooping" habit:bigsmile:
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    Some people want unvarnished truth. Some people want sympathy or empathy. Some people want to vent. Some people want to proselytize. Some people want to argue. Some people want to post funny gifs.

    And sometimes, that "some people" is the same person - just experiencing different moods or needs. Don't sweat it. :smokin:

    Ditto that. Also, that some people come here to help "clear up confusion". The problem everyone here is sure they're right, so adding more opinions rarely clears up anything.
  • lol I knew there would be at least one of you. No i don't need to vent. My goal is to attract others who feel the same and decide if the few moments of spare time I have are worth trying to help. It's what I love to do: figured this would be a cool place to do it. But with this account and my former one, it never seemed anyone wanted "help". And of course I "want" to know. Why else would I post?
    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)

    ^^^^ This. ^^^

    So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?

    Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?

    Are you just venting?

    Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?

    Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    most people just want confirmation that their magic bullet diet - cleanse, low carb, keto, etc - is going to work..and when they do not get confirmation of that they either...

    1. go away
    2. argue
    3 start a "MFP is mean thread"
    4 all of above...
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    I hear what you are saying. However, if you want this to work, you need to be able to take the nuggets of what they are saying and MAKE it work for you.

    -You've got to get active - 30 minutes a day 5X a week, and some of that should be resistance exercises (body weight or weight lifting) to protect your muscle mass while losing fat.
    - You've got to log all your calories.
    - You've got to figure out some way of portion control. I never had to weigh my food, but I knew that if I wasn't able to lose weight, that was the first place I'd need to make a change.
    - You've got to get the nutrition (including calories) to support yourself physically. Small changes trump big losses.

    If you're not meeting these minimum requirements, nobody's advice is going to do anything for you.
  • I'd love to do that

    Sometimes people really do need help.

    All those "I can't seem to eat 1200 calories" posts? I copy and paste a list of healthy fat/carb foods into a PM and usually get a heart-felt thank you.

    The people who really want to figure out what they need to do, I direct to http://www.myfitnesspal.com/groups/home/10118-eat-train-progress

    People get real help there, not just MFP debate.

    If you really want to help people and are credentialed, I'd love to see you start a moderated forum where people can ask for advice and get informed answers. As much help as Sarauk and SideSteel are, they have limited amounts of time.

    Some people just aren't ready to listen to the answers. I, personally, don't waste a lot of time on them. When they are ready to hear, there's plenty of help around.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    That's a relief! I'm very surprised to see anyone agree!

    You've obviously seen the same threads as me... January newbies are driving me mad already... Time to stay out the forums for a month or so!
    well at least we have some entertainment....
  • Great reply
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    I hear what you are saying. However, if you want this to work, you need to be able to take the nuggets of what they are saying and MAKE it work for you.

    -You've got to get active - 30 minutes a day 5X a week, and some of that should be resistance exercises (body weight or weight lifting) to protect your muscle mass while losing fat.
    - You've got to log all your calories.
    - You've got to figure out some way of portion control. I never had to weigh my food, but I knew that if I wasn't able to lose weight, that was the first place I'd need to make a change.
    - You've got to get the nutrition (including calories) to support yourself physically. Small changes trump big losses.

    If you're not meeting these minimum requirements, nobody's advice is going to do anything for you.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    I think it depends on the person posting as to what they want. The problem with communities like this is that you never really know what point someone is at in their journey, so it's hard to gauge how receptive they are going to be to advice. Some people genuinely want help. Some people want sympathy, some want reassurance, and some I think just want to feel like they are not completely alone. Some just want to be bullheaded and have someone tell them they're right.

    As far as responses, some people do need the harsh truth and need to be hit over the head about things. I do think some posters go way overboard with their assumptions about people in their responses and get very judgmental. There's a lot of "well, I did it and if you're not doing it than you're not really dedicated/just making excuses/etc." It's hard to stay motivated and feel welcome in the community when your post about an issue you are having turns into a character attack.
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
    In order to lose the weight you have to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. This means having thick skin. If you run screaming from the room the first time some is brutally honest chances are you will fail.

    I think there's a ton of people here that aren't mentally ready to lose weight. This spawns the never ending "people are mean" threads.
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..

    As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.

    Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical

    Some people want unvarnished truth. Some people want sympathy or empathy. Some people want to vent. Some people want to proselytize. Some people want to argue. Some people want to post funny gifs.

    And sometimes, that "some people" is the same person - just experiencing different moods or needs. Don't sweat it. :smokin:

    Ditto that. Also, that some people come here to help "clear up confusion". The problem everyone here is sure they're right, so adding more opinions rarely clears up anything.

    agreed.

    Also, we AREN'T all here for the same thing. Some people are into sculpting / building, some for just weight loss, some for dietary reasons and on and on.

    IIFYM works really well for some people. They may not be looking to get as cut and muscular as you.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Yeah, well. The My Fitness Pal site is build around the IIFYM premise. That's why it attracts a lot of people that this works for (and that's a lot of people). Different sports have different requirements - I'm a runner, so I love my carbs.
    Great question. If your referring to my mentioning of "macros" in my first post I don't want to mislead. I follow a certain split for my sport. I do not agree with or follow the "iifym" theory that everyone believes is the new hotness.
    My quick response to those looking to lose body fat is keeping stable blood sugar while eating frequent small meals is a great place to start. Avoiding even fruit sugars will help decrease random insulin spikes throughout the day.
    You would be surprised to know how much you can eat calorically when you are eating the right things
    Well here's a question that plagues me. I hear about macros and I am curious what is most important; trying to reach goal weight; keeping calories under or reaching your maximum macros? I did just start lifting weights again and I am trying to eat as much protein as possible. I also try to keep my carbs lower than what I am allowed. I have been losing steadily but want to make sure this trend continues. Am I worrying too much about keeping calories low? I'll open my diary of you want to look at my last few days. Thanks
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
    I think those that genuinely want help are willing to open their mind and listen to those with more experience and knowledge. (that is backed by science by the way) Rather than taking the time to listen, learn and apply new knowledge, some come into the forums and spout whatever new thing they saw on some media site. I am thankful for the blunt and non-sugar coated responses from the veterans. I was able to learn a lot and continue to learn everyday. Some people have patience and others do not.
  • I started using MFP in December but only really started using recently. I do see where all of the veterans of MFP get aggravated because there are a lot of people looking for sympathy. I have been sincerely asking questions that may seem stupid but I'm so new so I'm sorry but I really do take the responses and put them to use. It's only been maybe a week but I already feel better with the way I've changed my eating habits and working out every day. A lot of people on here have been motivating and supportive and have really helped me feel better about starting my new lifestyle. Just as well as there are new people on here fishing for sympathy and not really looking for advice, there are also veterans to the site who are snarky not even regarding the "truth of the matter" but simply being rude. You will find all of that everywhere but Im personally grateful for the site because it's helping me a lot.
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
    Many people's idea of "support" is just agreeing with them and farting rainbows and ****ting jelly beans...

    QFT
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Thanks!
    Great reply
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    I hear what you are saying. However, if you want this to work, you need to be able to take the nuggets of what they are saying and MAKE it work for you.

    -You've got to get active - 30 minutes a day 5X a week, and some of that should be resistance exercises (body weight or weight lifting) to protect your muscle mass while losing fat.
    - You've got to log all your calories.
    - You've got to figure out some way of portion control. I never had to weigh my food, but I knew that if I wasn't able to lose weight, that was the first place I'd need to make a change.
    - You've got to get the nutrition (including calories) to support yourself physically. Small changes trump big losses.

    If you're not meeting these minimum requirements, nobody's advice is going to do anything for you.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    most people are here for relationship advice.
  • I know very well that my goals are different and extreme. Thank you for pointing that out.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    nope,, its fun to be obnoxious.,
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    I started using MFP in December but only really started using recently. I do see where all of the veterans of MFP get aggravated because there are a lot of people looking for sympathy. I have been sincerely asking questions that may seem stupid but I'm so new so I'm sorry but I really do take the responses and put them to use. It's only been maybe a week but I already feel better with the way I've changed my eating habits and working out every day. A lot of people on here have been motivating and supportive and have really helped me feel better about starting my new lifestyle. Just as well as there are new people on here fishing for sympathy and not really looking for advice, there are also veterans to the site who are snarky not even regarding the "truth of the matter" but simply being rude. You will find all of that everywhere but Im personally grateful for the site because it's helping me a lot.

    This is a really good attitude. Send a friend request to the people who are helpful and stay off the main forums, unless you really want diverse opinions on a topic. This site can be gold.
  • Mischievous_Rascal
    Mischievous_Rascal Posts: 1,791 Member
    I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...

    You spoke the truth!! You may want to check this link out - it's a sort of mentoring program they have going on.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1161976-adopt-a-noob-official-mfp-thread
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    In order to lose the weight you have to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. This means having thick skin. If you run screaming from the room the first time some is brutally honest chances are you will fail.

    I think there's a ton of people here that aren't mentally ready to lose weight. This spawns the never ending "people are mean" threads.

    ^This

    Cutting weight is tough because you've got to apply yourself consistently over an extended period of time if you want to succeed. This takes sand, grit, determination, chutzpah, moxie, etc.

    If the first piece of correct advice that doesn't chime with your incorrect preconceptions breaks you mentally, you're going to struggle staying the distance.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
  • I'll check it out! Thanks
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.

    so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...

    I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
    lol I knew there would be at least one of you. No i don't need to vent. My goal is to attract others who feel the same and decide if the few moments of spare time I have are worth trying to help. It's what I love to do: figured this would be a cool place to do it. But with this account and my former one, it never seemed anyone wanted "help". And of course I "want" to know. Why else would I post?
    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)

    ^^^^ This. ^^^

    So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?

    Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?

    Are you just venting?

    Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?

    Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.

    "At least one of you"?

    I ask you a question and you're assuming things about me? That's not exactly helpful, is it?

    Actually, I have read many conflicting opinions in these forums about what works and what doesn't and I've gleaned what has worked for me.
    I've learned to consider the source (poster) and how their goals are similar or dissimilar to mine. Also, I consider their lifestyle to determine whether or not their advice applies to me.

    I have faith that many people who are sincere about their goals will eventually do as I have done.

    I hope you took time to read my answer.
  • You know very well that this concept is being abused across the board. Even athletes save their "macros" for a pop tart pig out feast at the end of the day. You make not "gain weight" doing this but your pancreas won't be too happy after while.

    I know it's an easy way for people to start to get it. I was speaking of my own personal application.
    Yeah, well. The My Fitness Pal site is build around the IIFYM premise. That's why it attracts a lot of people that this works for (and that's a lot of people). Different sports have different requirements - I'm a runner, so I love my carbs.
    Great question. If your referring to my mentioning of "macros" in my first post I don't want to mislead. I follow a certain split for my sport. I do not agree with or follow the "iifym" theory that everyone believes is the new hotness.
    My quick response to those looking to lose body fat is keeping stable blood sugar while eating frequent small meals is a great place to start. Avoiding even fruit sugars will help decrease random insulin spikes throughout the day.
    You would be surprised to know how much you can eat calorically when you are eating the right things
    Well here's a question that plagues me. I hear about macros and I am curious what is most important; trying to reach goal weight; keeping calories under or reaching your maximum macros? I did just start lifting weights again and I am trying to eat as much protein as possible. I also try to keep my carbs lower than what I am allowed. I have been losing steadily but want to make sure this trend continues. Am I worrying too much about keeping calories low? I'll open my diary of you want to look at my last few days. Thanks
  • Was exercising like a maniac, got injured, then depressed. Need help developing fitness regime incorporating strength. F, 54 yrs. I jog, and swim but really know nothing about strengthening exercises. Have access to multiple types of fitness equipment.
  • If I only trained, mentored and coached people with the same goals as me I would be broke on my butt and have to close the doors to my gym. That's a silly mentality. I learn things from all sorts of people!!!

    lol I knew there would be at least one of you. No i don't need to vent. My goal is to attract others who feel the same and decide if the few moments of spare time I have are worth trying to help. It's what I love to do: figured this would be a cool place to do it. But with this account and my former one, it never seemed anyone wanted "help". And of course I "want" to know. Why else would I post?
    It's a learning curve. People have preconceived ideas about health, fitness and diet. I did too when I started. Sometimes we all just think we know better. Eventually people give up or realize that some of the things they probably did not want to hear were and are the things that will work :)

    ^^^^ This. ^^^

    So, this is going to be really ugly, but OP, what are YOU hoping will happen with this post?

    Do you actually WANT to know why we come here?

    Are you just venting?

    Do you think that somehow complaining about newbies is going to change these forums?

    Everyone starts somewhere. Either choose to be patient or don't visit the forums. You're not going to change them.

    "At least one of you"?

    I ask you a question and you're assuming things about me? That's not exactly helpful, is it?

    Actually, I have read many conflicting opinions in these forums about what works and what doesn't and I've gleaned what has worked for me.
    I've learned to consider the source (poster) and how their goals are similar or dissimilar to mine. Also, I consider their lifestyle to determine whether or not their advice applies to me.

    I have faith that many people who are sincere about their goals will eventually do as I have done.

    I hope you took time to read my answer.