Does anyone actually want help?

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  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    Bumping, to come back and check for snark.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I had to change my profile picture from a photo of my delt because (as I should have known better), I got a few back handed remarks about being muscular in private message and on the thread. I'm well aware that isn't everyone's desired physique. I know that few people can dedicate their lives to physique sports etc and I know perfectly well that people have "different goals" (by far the most obvious point made). We know it's common courtesy to not judge someone for being fat, so why would you judge someone for just the opposite?? I guess my question was answers loud and clear. I will worry about my close friends clients and family. You people can buzz off. I won't waste my time talking fitness with MFP'ers...


    Please don't ask for the truth if it will upset you, OP. I don't know what else to tell you.

    I liked her first message, but the last one was stupid. Sigh.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Sometimes I post REAL questions, that I actually need help with.


    Usually I get very few responses.

    Have you tried http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/10067-eat-train-progress-
  • DamePiglet
    DamePiglet Posts: 3,730 Member
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    I had to change my profile picture from a photo of my delt because (as I should have known better), I got a few back handed remarks about being muscular in private message and on the thread. I'm well aware that isn't everyone's desired physique. I know that few people can dedicate their lives to physique sports etc and I know perfectly well that people have "different goals" (by far the most obvious point made). We know it's common courtesy to not judge someone for being fat, so why would you judge someone for just the opposite?? I guess my question was answers loud and clear. I will worry about my close friends clients and family. You people can buzz off. I won't waste my time talking fitness with MFP'ers...


    Please don't ask for the truth if it will upset you, OP. I don't know what else to tell you.

    I liked her first message, but the last one was stupid. Sigh.

    Well, frankly, vardaeml, if you don't have an adopt a newbies thread, I think you'd be a good candidate. You seem to know your stuff and have the patience and understanding to help new folks.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    I'm a Type 2 diabetic with elevated cholesterol with a goal of getting to 130 lbs. by July by any means necessary. I currently weigh 202.8 lbs. I need and want help. It feels like I can't eat anything I want to.

    Without knowing what you want to eat, I would say that you are quite likely correct. You probably can't eat anything you want to, at least not in the portions you might want to. And diabetes does bring dietary restrictions with it. But, you likely can eat more than you might think. Especially if you start exercising regularly.
  • nomeejerome
    nomeejerome Posts: 2,616 Member
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    I had to change my profile picture from a photo of my delt because (as I should have known better), I got a few back handed remarks about being muscular in private message and on the thread. I'm well aware that isn't everyone's desired physique. I know that few people can dedicate their lives to physique sports etc and I know perfectly well that people have "different goals" (by far the most obvious point made). We know it's common courtesy to not judge someone for being fat, so why would you judge someone for just the opposite?? I guess my question was answers loud and clear. I will worry about my close friends clients and family. You people can buzz off. I won't waste my time talking fitness with MFP'ers...

    :huh:
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I had to change my profile picture from a photo of my delt because (as I should have known better), I got a few back handed remarks about being muscular in private message and on the thread. I'm well aware that isn't everyone's desired physique. I know that few people can dedicate their lives to physique sports etc and I know perfectly well that people have "different goals" (by far the most obvious point made). We know it's common courtesy to not judge someone for being fat, so why would you judge someone for just the opposite?? I guess my question was answers loud and clear. I will worry about my close friends clients and family. You people can buzz off. I won't waste my time talking fitness with MFP'ers...


    Please don't ask for the truth if it will upset you, OP. I don't know what else to tell you.

    I liked her first message, but the last one was stupid. Sigh.

    Well, frankly, vardaeml, if you don't have an adopt a newbies thread, I think you'd be a good candidate. You seem to know your stuff and have the patience and understanding to help new folks.

    I've already picked up a couple :)

    I'm pretty active in the Couch to 5k forum, so that's where a lot of my new friends come from :)
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I'm a Type 2 diabetic with elevated cholesterol with a goal of getting to 130 lbs. by July by any means necessary. I currently weigh 202.8 lbs. I need and want help. It feels like I can't eat anything I want to.

    Without knowing what you want to eat, I would say that you are quite likely correct. You probably can't eat anything you want to, at least not in the portions you might want to. And diabetes does bring dietary restrictions with it. But, you likely can eat more than you might think. Especially if you start exercising regularly.

    ^^^This.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
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    I don't need any help. If I couldn't do this by myself, no stranger making comments on the web is going to be able to help. I use the site as a convenient tool to track calories when I'm losing weight, just maintaining right now so I post breakfast or coffee and that's it. .
  • MrsG31
    MrsG31 Posts: 364 Member
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    Sometimes I post REAL questions, that I actually need help with.


    Usually I get very few responses.

    ^^This - I posted a few questions in the past and received very few replies. Bu as they were respectful and helpful, I was grateful.

    The longer, more-replied-to threads I have seen are usually what started out as someone wanting help, but asking a quesiton that gets mis-interpeted and the snarky commentors get going and it goes way off track and becomes a GIF-fest. And then you have people interjecting with their own questions for help that have nothing to do with the original topic. And then I get sucked in reading and not being very productive at work. Whoops.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I get PMs from people semi-regularly telling me that I have no right to give advice because I am fat or that I am incredibly rude.

    Sorry that I am smarter than you.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    But really, most people are looking for advice that fits into what they already believe to be true, They just want confirmation, a magic "Just stop eating this!", or to be told it isnt their fault.
  • bunkahes
    bunkahes Posts: 216 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    In order to lose the weight you have to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. This means having thick skin. If you run screaming from the room the first time some is brutally honest chances are you will fail.

    I think there's a ton of people here that aren't mentally ready to lose weight. This spawns the never ending "people are mean" threads.

    I totally disagree with this. The MFP forums often do call for a thick skin. But losing weight does not. It is possible to be a very sensitive person and lose weight. Those that are sensitive would probably do better not posting to the open forums, and instead just lurking to find supportive friends and perhaps joining closed groups of like-minded people.

    But neither MFP, it's forums of blunt helpfulness, or a thick skin are requirements for losing weight.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    No, it is almost always our own fault for becoming overweight.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    I get PMs from people semi-regularly telling me that I have no right to give advice because I am fat or that I am incredibly rude.

    Sorry that I am smarter than you.

    I like this. Damn. Right.
  • spookyjo
    spookyjo Posts: 76 Member
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    I think that there should be sticky advising people to use the search function.

    It's helped me tons since i've been here.

    There are some truely knowledgeable people here.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    Not really? I joined to use the food diary, but I wasn't looking for support or motivation. Not that I haven't found it, there are some awesome people I've met here. I don't need anyone to hold me accountable for my actions, the only one who can do that is ME. I don't need motivation from anyone else, I know what I'm aiming for and that's motivation enough. I don't look for support on the message boards, because I've seen a lot of hangry people here. No thanks. I am grateful for the friends I've made here, they've been a saving grace I appreciate immensely.

    Losing/gaining/maintaining weight is never the same for everyone. It's a struggle a lot of people need help with, and there's no good reason not to give it. There are a lot of desperate, angry, tired, stressed people here who look to make themselves feel better by taking it out on those asking questions. Yeah, you may read the same question 10 times in a row. Yeah, they may ask about a dangerous diet or calorie goal. Being snide and/or sarcastic when answering is wasting your time. The person is not going to listen to you.

    If you give genuine advice and it's ignored, don't take it out on the next person asking. They may very well take your advice and be thankful you took the time to give it.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue

    It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.

    The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.

    It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?

    I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look. :)

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