Does anyone actually want help?
Replies
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Nothing worse than so called 'Fitness Professionals' with a holier than thou attitude. In my experience and reading a lot of advice given by them on these boards 'Fitness Professionals' are some of the biggest perpetuators and instigators of fad diets and dodgy bro science.Or do you more-so want to vent on these boards? Talk about fads that you cycle through, ask very specific impossible questions to answer in a paragraph, defend the protocol you follow although you may not be seeing ANY results..
As a fitness professional, i use MFP to help my clients stay accountable and to track my own macros. I occasionally visit the boards to help out, maybe clear up some confusion, answer questions etc...
Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Can anyone shed some light? or am i just being cynical
People have different goals sometimes 'advice' given is totally inappropriate to the question asked. A lot of the time responders 'Agendas' get in the way or it feels like the person asking the question is being shouted at. Yes people may be following dodgy advice but shouting at them and calling them names wont help.
There an large proportion of people who actually take advice given in threads and use that information so I think your only reading selected threads or on a different forum to the rest of us.0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.0 -
Not really? I joined to use the food diary, but I wasn't looking for support or motivation. Not that I haven't found it, there are some awesome people I've met here. I don't need anyone to hold me accountable for my actions, the only one who can do that is ME. I don't need motivation from anyone else, I know what I'm aiming for and that's motivation enough. I don't look for support on the message boards, because I've seen a lot of hangry people here. No thanks. I am grateful for the friends I've made here, they've been a saving grace I appreciate immensely.
Losing/gaining/maintaining weight is never the same for everyone. It's a struggle a lot of people need help with, and there's no good reason not to give it. There are a lot of desperate, angry, tired, stressed people here who look to make themselves feel better by taking it out on those asking questions. Yeah, you may read the same question 10 times in a row. Yeah, they may ask about a dangerous diet or calorie goal. Being snide and/or sarcastic when answering is wasting your time. The person is not going to listen to you.
If you give genuine advice and it's ignored, don't take it out on the next person asking. They may very well take your advice and be thankful you took the time to give it.
False. All the advice I've taken on MFP has been at least slightly snide and always sarcastic. If a person can't see the forest through the tired and long suffering trees well...JSF then. It hurts no one but the people seeking advice.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.
Fine. Obese. Semantics.0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.0 -
Can anyone recommend a good 21 day cleanse? I'm looking to drop that last 60 pounds in the next 30 days!
Hehehehe just kidding0 -
My experience on these boards showed me that even though OP's often do not listen to what I and others say.....several other people who read the thread, *do*. And that's a good thing.
I'd say 5 out of 10 times that I post something and see nothing back from the OP after several people have given great advice, I get a private message from a random person I've never seen before saying, "great advice on that thread about xyz...I need help." People are watching, even if they're "silent" - and *they* are being positively affected.
That, to me, makes it all worth it to respond to an OP.
Truth is like a rock. People bump up against Truth and Truth doesn't move. Thus the person has to do something about that rock. Some people choose to whine and cry that it "hurts" to bump up against it. Yet some people use that moment to stop and think about why they bumped up against it, and how can they move beyond it. It's that second group I'm interested in reaching, and continue to do so through PM's.0 -
I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.
It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?
I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.0 -
I think there are those who truly are ready to change and are serious when they ask for help and then there are those who think they're ready to change but can't quite make the transition. They ask for help but aren't ready for the harsh reality that they really do have to change in order for change to happen to their bodies. I've been both and I've encountered both on this site.0
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I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.
Fine. Obese. Semantics.
Just trying to be helpful. Sorry if I was too blunt. :flowerforyou:0 -
I think you're correct, although I personally prefer the truth to sympathy.0
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Most of the time it seems like people dont really want to hear it? they dont want truths or accuracy. They want...sympathy.
Yep. And that is exactly why failure rates are so high.
The idea of losing weight and getting fit is a lot more appealing than the actual commitment of actually losing weight and getting fit, for an awful lot of people.
The bottom line is that an awful lot of folks are, deep down, comfortable with their obesity and lack of physical fitness.0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
Rather than losing interest, try to take the advice and adapt it to work for you. Yes, log calories, and yes, weigh food (food scales are super cheap). If the workout isn't what you can do, then adapt it to what you can do. Even a can of soup can function as a hand weight for a new start. Don't take the advice so literally - basically they are just saying mix weight lifting and cardio. Doing some lunges or stairs uses your own body weight for resistance and can count as weight training for a beginner.0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
I think you mean the only way to be over-fat is to consume more calories than you burn. Eating too much usually causes fat gain. Weight gain may be caused by things other than fat.
Fine. Obese. Semantics.
Just trying to be helpful. Sorry if I was too blunt. :flowerforyou:
thanks for the flower! :blushing:0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.0 -
I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.
It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?
I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.
There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.0 -
Things I'm sick of hearing...
"But it worked for my friend's, aunt's, cousin's friend so don't tell me it won't work for me!"
"I'm netting -600 calories a day and I'm not losing weight??"
"I workout like CRAZY and I'm not losing weight??" (10 minute walk twice a week)
"I don't care what you ALL say, the more calories I cut the more I will lose!"0 -
I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.
It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?
I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.
There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.
I used the term because I was answering the post of the previous person, who used the term.0 -
nope. No help!
I DO WHAT I WANT0 -
I do not want any help. I am only merely seeking justification for my bad decisions and poor habbits. If i really wanted help, I would go to Dr. Oz!0
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No one thing works for everyone...people who don't understand that are in denial about something or just don't want to try hard enoguh to find what owrks for them.
I, on the other hand, truly appreciate advice, recommendations of books or workouts, nutrition etc...from everyone. It helpss with the trial and error tofind what will work for me.
SO, anyone who wants to friend me, take a look ay my food diary, etc...please do so. I know I may get differing opinions but I will take what applies to me and factor it into my life. I just started this week and havent done my grocery shopping (this damn snow)...so I am eating what I have in the house for now.
Again, PLEASE feel free to friend me and give advice...solicited or unsolicited...thank you.:happy:0 -
I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.
It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?
I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.
My point is that hating the body you have is counter-productive. Why is being fat somebody's "fault"? Yes, it is a direct result of their choices, but so is the size of the cup that I'm currently drinking my coffee out of. Is that my "fault" or simply something that I could change, if I wanted to, by making different choices.
There are a whole lot of people on this website who are no longer fat and still hate their bodies.
I agree - there is a lot of information out there about the potential choices. A lot of it is confusing, contradictory and not very helpful. I had a fitness trainer at a gym tell me that the real way to "boost my metabolism" would be to drink a green shake every day. I tried to explain that nothing you eat can "boost your metabolism" (besides coffee, and that's a maximum of 40 calories a day) but my message got too involved and I had to stop.0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.
^^^This.
Especially "Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them."0 -
We want OUR LEVEL of truth meaning if a beginner like me is reading the boards we are discerning whether or not the advice is practical for us. I know my strengths and weaknesses and if I see advice that fits me then yeah I will adhere. But if I see someone saying lift weights 3 days a week ... P90X 2 days...log calories and weigh your food!!!....Then of course you just lost me. Now everything they said is TRUTH and will work but hey that plan personally does not work for me. Just me 2 cents.
so you are saying logging calories and weighing food loses you??? I don't understand...
I was confused by this too... If someone says lift weights 3 days a week, and workout (cardio) 2 days a week, and count calories, you are lost? What lost you? And when you say that plan doesn't work for you, then what plan does? Not working out or counting calories? Hmm....
Why would you assume that because a person says that plan doesn't work for them that they don't want to do anything at all? Your response is exactly what I was talking about in my post. You're attacking this poster on a personal level by assuming they aren't dedicated, and you don't even know what she's confused about yet.
I was simply saying I have LOST interest in that plan because that would not be practical for ME right now. I currently do not have weights nor gym membership. I currently have a treadmill/dog a few workout tapes and MFP so if the workout is outside of my means then I have LOST interest.
Check out the book (or app) You Are Your Own Gym.0 -
It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person.
This is the kind of pointless word mincing that just distracts people. Who is to blame for yesterday's obesity is irrelevant - what matters is that obesity today and tomorrow is completely owned by the individual carrying the excess weight, and they have 100% control and power over it.0 -
I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person. Far too many young adults were fat long before they had a say in what and how much they ate. The choice was made for them by parents or care-givers. Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them. But to say that every obese person made themselves that way is simply not true.
^^^This.
Especially "Certainly, at some point they must take ownership of the situation and the solution does fall to them."
lol
I love these threads. Make yourself fit or don't. No one else cares.
Ok. A few people care, god love them. The rest of us have enough to worry about.
The whining is entertaining at times though.
Let's parse language rather than work . . ,0 -
Ok - the key to anything is ...............You ready for it?????????
You sure???????????
Ok you ask for it...........................
Hard work!!! That is all.0 -
It's also not true that it is always the fault of the overweight or over-fat person.
This is the kind of pointless word mincing that just distracts people. Who is to blame for yesterday's obesity is irrelevant - what matters is that obesity today and tomorrow is completely owned by the individual carrying the excess weight, and they have 100% control and power over it.
Um, yeah. Thanks for cutting off the part of my post that said that, then repeating it back. Most helpful.0 -
I believe that many if not most folks who are overweight/obese or who deal with eating disorders tend to have a really difficult time with living in reality and facing truth, just in general. This is why many people became overweight in the first place: they shut their eyes to the reality that their behavior is unhealthy, even though they *want* to be healthy. Their ideals do not line up with their actions. So they have to shut down their consciences in order to deal with the discomfort of that disparity.
Once you shut down your conscience for a long period of time, your head gets pretty messed up. You start to live in a fantasy land.
Now - Bring that mentality into MFP. They "want" help (or they say so) and probably deep down they do. But they also "want" to continue their bad behavior (because it's a habit, or feels good, or tastes good, or is their emotional crutch, whatever). The latter overcomes the former, thus, they're looking for people to tell them it's okay to continue as they are.
And when people DON'T tell them that...they freak.
There is an old, spiritual principal that says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
This applies to just about every good thing in life. Not many will follow the narrow path. It's too hard. But.....some will! Those are the people I care about. And they're out there. And they're listening.0 -
I would agree about the guilt, but there's a certain amount of ownership that people tend to hand off when they don't want to address issues like weight. Our culture seems to be built on enabling. If a person hates the body they have, and are able to (not everyone is, of course, due to disability or other health issues) they should do what they can to change it. There are so many resources out there to help people who are willing to work to change things.I believe your right, but some people are in denial of them being overweight, sometimes its not there fault as much as eating habits or the world teaches us to eat fast foods, but people have different backgrounds and trades. People that if you are over weight you just there and eat bons bons. so untrue
It is true that sometimes people are in denial about being overweight, but not that it's not their fault. It's always their fault. People think that if you are overweight, you eat too many calories, and that's true. The only way to be overweight is to eat more calories than you burn, regularly.
The problem is that a lot of people feel guilty or ashamed of being overweight as if they've sinned or something.
It's really hard to focus on something that you feel bad about. Why should you spend so much time on a body you hate?
I tend to lose a lot of weight right after buying myself new clothes, because I feel more confident with how I look.
There are also ways to phrase things so that they don't sound accusatory - "fault" is generally associated with something bad happening. People who are overweight and want to change are well aware that their decisions got them there (barring medical reasons), so shaming language like that really does nothing but make them feel bad about themselves. There is a line between enabling someone and kicking them when they are down.
I used the term because I was answering the post of the previous person, who used the term.
You completely missed what the previous person was trying to say. The previous poster was trying to touch on things like learned eating habits, backgrounds, availability of food, etc that lead to people being overweight that are not entirely conscience choices, unlike the idea of the obese person sitting around stuffing bon bons in their mouth because they want to.0
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