Most awkward weight comment
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Once after an orchestra concert I'd performed in, as we were hauling things back stage, one of the elderly violin players came up to me and put her hand on my stomach--without asking or saying a word before--and said "Ohhhh, you're going to have a baby!" I was like nope, just fat, thanks. I don't think I'd have been so bothered if it hadn't included the touching . . . I'm definitely someone who has a bubble! I threw out the shirt I wore to the concert as soon as I got home that night.0
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When I was younger my mother would always say "You're going to be as big as a house."
LIke, how is that possible?0 -
I had to go and get fitted for a new bra just after Christmas a year ago because my current one was too small. When I told the fitting lady this, she laughed, 'You've eaten all the pies then, haven't you!' Felt really awkward with her fitting me after that.
Also, a Greek friend of mine just came right out with it and said 'You've put on a LOT of weight since I knew you'. When she saw an older photo of me (when I was doing a lot of exercise) she pointed and said, 'What? But where's your tummy?!' I know she didn't mean badly but still -_-
I started my current job when my first daughter was 6 months. I gained 60lbs and was still 40-50 lbs from my "wedding" weight when I started. A co-worker came over to my desk picked up the picture and asked if it was me and when I replied yes he exclaimed LOUDLY "But your so - your body is..." then he trailed off apparently realizing what he was going to say would be rude and offensive. I laughed it off and said "Yeah I've gained some weight since then, thanks for pointing it out". So at least he walked away as embarrassed as he left me.0 -
Not me, but I worked in a supermarket and a co-worker on the checkouts was very opinionated. She was putting through someone's shopping, which must have been all junk, getting to a packet of ham she exclaimed oh hooray finally some protein :noway:
That's reminded once putting our shopping through the operator asked if we were having a party, nope I just ate a lot of cake and chocolate :blushing:0 -
I wish it were appropriate to make snarky comments back. It sounds like a lot of you have endured seriously rude people and taken the high road!
For fat comments/ pregnant comments I would love the common response to be "Thanks for noticing that I'm fat. I'd like to point out that you're very rude and insensitive!" or "Wow I know 5-year-olds with better manners than you!" or "Hey you should really get that blurting problem checked out. I'm so embarrassed for you!"
And for all the skinny haters I just want to respond with "Thin is relative. Sounds like you're problem not mine!" or "Sure why don't you give me your sandwich and then we can all average out!" or "I'm not wasting away. It's just been a long time since you've seen a waist!"
The real thing we all need to take up is reminding people "It's not okay to make comments about another person's body."
(Technically that's harassment when done in the workplace.)0 -
OK, this isn't weight related, but while I was on vacation during the holidays I decided to cut off all my hair, when I showed up for work the first day my boss came over and asked, "you cut off all your hair or what?", I jokingly said, "or what" since by this time, I'd had the "hair" conversation quite a few times and was already over it. Of course later I remembered that his wife had gone through cancer treatment the year before and lost her hair though chemo. DOH!!0
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I carry the majority of my extra weight around my middle. So as you can imagine, I have gotten the "are you pregnant" comment numerous times. When men do it, I have to laugh...like the bell boy at the hotel in CT that barely spoke English and rubbed his stomach while pointing at mine and said "baby?"...to which I replied "nope, baby is 4 years old, but thanks for reminding me that I have some work to do." Or the man on the airplane that was asking me about my recent trip sailing around the Spanish Virgin islands with my friend and his sailboat...he pointed to my stomach and asked me "so, how far along are you?"...to which I replied "I'm not pregnant, but thanks for that."
But the worst is when a woman does it, because COME ON LADIES...you ought to know better!! I was driving my ex husband's Jeep with the windows out and we pulled up next to a minivan full of older women. The lady in the passenger seat looked over at me and asked me when I was due. I flashed her an evil look and said "not pregnant...you should think before asking another woman that question!!"
But seriously...unless you see the baby crowning, don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.0 -
When I was 15-16, I was rummaging through the shoe closet for some boots when my guy friend walked in. When I turned around:
"You scared me! I thought you were your (tall and skinny) sister. You look thinner when you're bending over."
Thanks.0 -
I just learned a hard lesson: keep all comments to myself, no matter it's your friend, co-worker, stranger, or celebrity. There are land mines everywhere, when it comes to weight, and body image, especially on the internet...
It's easy to lose that way too. Invariably you'll have the friend who has lost weight and gets pouty because you didn't compliment them.0 -
At my current weight I have heard a lot of snarky skinny comments. This one was the worst. One woman said "people are so jealous of your body." Second woman chimed in "it's because she hasn't had kids yet." I have been struggling with infertility for a long time and they both know it too. That one practically made me cry.
I am so sorry that happened to you. People can be just wretched!!!
Sort of a different topic...but in the same vein...I have been big my entire life, pretty much, and as a 37 yr old woman I have a typically matronly figure. Large breasts that sag a little (from size and weight loss as well), huge hips and bum, tummy. But I have had the matronly type of figure since I was 14-15 yrs old, it's not a new thing. Anyway I am childfree by choice, I am never having children. But it kind of rubs me the wrong way when it seems like a lot of plus size and female fitness stuff is targeted to "moms losing the mom weight" and "After kids, your 30+ body is wrecked" and so on. It just bugs me in so many different ways!!!0 -
I just learned a hard lesson: keep all comments to myself, no matter it's your friend, co-worker, stranger, or celebrity. There are land mines everywhere, when it comes to weight, and body image, especially on the internet...
It's easy to lose that way too. Invariably you'll have the friend who has lost weight and gets pouty because you didn't compliment them.
Too true - how many posts have we seen asking "when did someone notice". When you are losing it is nice when people notice. It makes you feel like all your hard work isn't for nothing. However turning the compliment into a negative by adding words like "skinny" or phases like "you need to eat" can be done without
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I just learned a hard lesson: keep all comments to myself, no matter it's your friend, co-worker, stranger, or celebrity. There are land mines everywhere, when it comes to weight, and body image, especially on the internet...
It's easy to lose that way too. Invariably you'll have the friend who has lost weight and gets pouty because you didn't compliment them.
umm...I do usually say something like "did you lose some weight? looking great"...so far I haven't had problem. However, after reading this thread, I wonder..actually if that could offend someone. like "do you think I was fat before? " I guess I read into it too much :drinker:0 -
I need to read all these later.....
But for now, I had a nurse weigh me at my OB/GYN's office and said, "You carry it well." My reply, "Thanks?"
And the ever well-meaning compete strangers wanting to know when your baby is due never gets old. Okay. It does get old.0 -
It's funny because my weight has fluctuated a LOT throughout my life. When I was 13 I was my heaviest 190 to almost 200lbs then have been at my lightest in my adult life which is 113lbs. I don't know which is worse to be pointed out for being the biggest girl or to have people accuse you of starving yourself.
When I think about it I have heard things from "You would be so much prettier if you lost weight." to "You should really gain a couple pounds, it isn't very attractive to see you so thin." to "You're allowed to gain weight because you're curvy so it's okay to be chubby." and the infamous "Eat a damn burger."
I hate how much pressure there is on women to be a specific size. And apparently with me there is NONE because I am always hearing some sort of backlash from someone. As a child that overfed herself to deal with problems to someone that has eaten next to nothing to try to be 'perfect' it isn't hard to see how some people put their health at risk to fit society's ideal of what a women should look like.0 -
When I had just completed a diet that had me go from 155 to 137 I had resident (I worked as a leasing agent for an apartment complex) come up to me and look at me and act confused. Then she says, have you lost weight? And I smiled and say yes. Then she says "Wow you look great you used to be" then she puffed her cheeks out and went "pffff". She also had her arms out at her side demonstrating a wider person.
I politely smiled and kind of dismissed it since English was her second language. :grumble:
Ah, the English as a 2nd language problem. Did they mean to offend, or no? That is the question
Long time ago, I was a grad student in a program that took a lot of Chinese nationals looking to get advanced degrees. They were supposed to test that the students accepted had a working knowledge of English, 'cause we sure didn't have any clue about Chinese. Whatever test they used ... it wasn't adequate.
One day, a female fellow student who went out of her way to chat with all the new students was accosted by one of the male Chinese students saying very loudly to her during lunch that she "gave him a great, ah penis!"
Dead. Awkward. Silence.
Took a minute or two for us to figure out that "ah penis" == "happiness" - she made him very happy. I'm not sure the Chinese student ever figured out why we his comment had us laughing so hysterically.0 -
I used to be a waitress/hostess at a Japanese restaurant. The owner's were Chinese and the mother in law worked as a cashier but spoke very little English. I remember very clearly that she would constantly pat my stomach and ask if I was having a baby. It was about a year out of high school and I was blissfully unaware of my weight gain until that comment. It hurt to hear something like that, even though I'm sure her intention was not malicious.0
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When I had just completed a diet that had me go from 155 to 137 I had resident (I worked as a leasing agent for an apartment complex) come up to me and look at me and act confused. Then she says, have you lost weight? And I smiled and say yes. Then she says "Wow you look great you used to be" then she puffed her cheeks out and went "pffff". She also had her arms out at her side demonstrating a wider person.
I politely smiled and kind of dismissed it since English was her second language. :grumble:
Ah, the English as a 2nd language problem. Did they mean to offend, or no? That is the question
Long time ago, I was a grad student in a program that took a lot of Chinese nationals looking to get advanced degrees. They were supposed to test that the students accepted had a working knowledge of English, 'cause we sure didn't have any clue about Chinese. Whatever test they used ... it wasn't adequate.
One day, a female fellow student who went out of her way to chat with all the new students was accosted by one of the male Chinese students saying very loudly to her during lunch that she "gave him a great, ah penis!"
Dead. Awkward. Silence.
Took a minute or two for us to figure out that "ah penis" == "happiness" - she made him very happy. I'm not sure the Chinese student ever figured out why we his comment had us laughing so hysterically.
Um..well, English is my third language in deed. Due to this I try my best not to offend people with my choice of words. In fact I often do. On the other hand, I feel uncomfortable when English speaking people make fun of my accent, or choice of words, although often I don't think they meant to hurt my feelings. It's almost the same feeling as some of you hear those awkward comments on your weight/body image.0 -
I carry the majority of my extra weight around my middle. So as you can imagine, I have gotten the "are you pregnant" comment numerous times. When men do it, I have to laugh...like the bell boy at the hotel in CT that barely spoke English and rubbed his stomach while pointing at mine and said "baby?"...to which I replied "nope, baby is 4 years old, but thanks for reminding me that I have some work to do." Or the man on the airplane that was asking me about my recent trip sailing around the Spanish Virgin islands with my friend and his sailboat...he pointed to my stomach and asked me "so, how far along are you?"...to which I replied "I'm not pregnant, but thanks for that."
But the worst is when a woman does it, because COME ON LADIES...you ought to know better!! I was driving my ex husband's Jeep with the windows out and we pulled up next to a minivan full of older women. The lady in the passenger seat looked over at me and asked me when I was due. I flashed her an evil look and said "not pregnant...you should think before asking another woman that question!!"
But seriously...unless you see the baby crowning, don't ask a woman if she is pregnant.
LOL RIGHT! I used to work with a girl who really looked pregnant but because she never mentioned anything about it, I never said a word and thank goodness I never did, because one day we were chatting it up about weight loss and she made a comment about people thinking she was pregnant and she wasn't. I gave myself a mental pat on the back for being smart enough to not say anything.0 -
Even when crowning it's still never ok to ask if a woman is pregnant lol.
I ALWAYS used to hate it when people told me I'd be so much more attractive if I was slimmer. It made me think being overweight was unsightly for years. Now I just reply that they'd be more attractive if they kept their opinions to themselves.
Also my aunt once told my younger cousin (who is 15 and obsessed with her looks to the point where she's already had a boob job and collagen in her lips *smh*) that she has to watch what she eats so she doesn't end up fat and single like me. I haven't been single for longer than 6 months since I was 19 - am 32 now and my fiance is a surfer with the body of a god so she can shove her opinons lol0 -
Unlike most people on here my mum is actually responsible for the majority of the negative and awkward weight comments. Normally along the lines of 'She's kind of a big one' or 'Your bigger than me' Which is a joke as she's two sizes bigger than me. And if people make comments about my weight she can't wait to tell me. It's like a competition for her.
There was also this man in a cambodian restaurant who simply puffed out his cheeks and widened his arms at me.0 -
Oh dear; I'd completely repressed this! Some excellent stories!
I used to have a very good friend when I was younger; she was always of a leaner build (taller and smaller). She was cared for by her Gran, anyway- eventually they both moved away to her mum's. We didn't keep in touch. When they came back to visit family a few years later, I saw her Gran randomly in the street. After a brief chat she spontaneously said "glad you're well... you're a big girl now". Almost like it was a simple, acceptable fact. I guess I was my biggest (172 lbs) at the time. Ahh, the elderly- gotta love 'em!0 -
When I moved back to California after almost 2 years away, my little cousin who was about 7 at the time looked at me and said, "Melissa, what happened to you?" I said "huh?". She said "You got bigger!" I said "I guess I've been eating too much." and she said, "Well, you better spit it out!"
That was 13 years ago. I still give her **** about it.0 -
This one co-worker that I couldn't stand told me how she went to an abs class, and that I should go to so I could "lose my belly" and I told her I wasn't interested and she kept pushing. I had been riding my bike to and from work every day (besides the fact that you can't spot tone. She has a Ph.D. in some biology field). I left early and rode my bike home and cried, and I think I told my boss (this was a few years ago) or I was about to tell my boss, but one day I came to work and there was an apology card on my desk. She also tried to convert me to Christianity a few times. I just don't think she understood social cues from any angle.0
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I was talking with my then-husband's family about osteoporosis and getting bone density tests, and one of them - for MANY reasons not my favorite person - looked me up and down and said something to the effect that I didn't need that, because I wasn't likely to get osteoporosis. Because of my weight. Get it?
Same person saw movies of me as a 1-year-old; my mom stuck one of my fingers in the icing and then in my mouth. Said person said, "you learned that early".
Toxic much?
Haven't spoken to her in years, but this kind of thing still irks me. I always learned: if you don't have anything nice to say (and your opinion hasn't been asked) then don't say anything.0 -
My most awkward weight comment came from my best friends 3 year old daughter who asked me if I had a baby in my stomach. (I am 59 years old). When I told her no, I did not have a baby, she then asked me why I was fat! What is they saying "out of the mouths of babes come words of wisdom". That really hit me. So I made the choice to come bacck to MFP and lose this extra 100+ pounds that I am carrying.:blushing:0
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When I visited my relatives over the holidays, I was asked if I was sick because I had lost so much weight
My grandmother came over for Christmas and told me I needed to eat seconds because I needed to gain weight, and when she hugged my goodbye she wrapped her hand around my arm and told me that I felt "too thin"... :indifferent:
And this wasn't a comment as much as an awkward moment but when I was getting undressed to put on my dance outift, the other girls all stopped talking and just stared at me :frown:
In their defense, I am a little underweight due to my struggle with anorexia but I don't think I look "too thin". Comments and stares regarding weight are usually rude or awkward regardless.
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Agree.All comments on someone's weight/body are generally kind of awkward and inappropriate, I find.0 -
This one happened a couple of years ago (my weight was almost at it's worst) when my husband and I were out at the park walking our dog. He's got a very heavy double coat, so he looks as round as he is high, but there's a lot of very well-fed dog under there, too. Another man was out with his dog and we were making the usual small talk, joking about how our dog has a lot of coat but he's pretty fat under there, too. The man looked at us and says, "Well, you know what they say about dogs looking like their owners." Ouch.0
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My sister has lost a lot of weight (guessing 100 but it could be more) & she decided to clean out her closet. She dropped the bag of clothes off at my parents' house for my teen daughter & I to go thru. I had lost about 40 lbs at this point but knew my sister was thinner than me. I was wearing around a 16-18 at the time. Well, some I'd these clothes were up to size 26. No big deal until my mom started handing me all the size 24 & 26s, telling me "these should fit you" I promise, if it wasn't for the fact that she gave me life; I would have told her she needs to take another dose of STFU medication. The awkward part is: my mom is truly the one that wears that size. I have folded & put away her clothes recently to help her out.0
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My mom normally makes comments, though I know she isn't malicious at ALL. She frequently says, if you keep getting bigger, you'll burst, or if you'll be my size very soon...even though she wears about three sizes more. Oh well. I love her though.
A guy was talking to me and my friends (and obviously I was the fattest of them all) and he made two awful comments. I have mostly white friends (I'm black by the way) but in this particular instance ALL black girlfriends (Jamaican, Zimbabwean, and Haitian) and my Indian friend were eating together. The guy comes up and says "Wow, I could just put you all on a "brown" spectrum! And weight too." Then he points to me and says "You're the second blackest, but you're definitely the fattest". I was so embarrassed, and I brushed it off, but later I cried. It was absolutely horrendous. :frown:
Though I wanted to kick him for the snarky comments he made about race. I mean really?? :noway:0
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