Punishment for my son. I need ideas!
Replies
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When mine were younger, the best punishment was switching the wireless router off at a set (early) time each night - meant they caught up on their sleep too!0
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I am still dealing with this & my son is 15, but also diagnosed ADHD. After realizing that taking away all the games & privledges didn't really do the trick, I finally had to tell him that he would not be getting his driver's permit or begin the 6 hour driver training until he got on board with the homework And the frustrating thig is, he is a smart kid, just really lazy. In 2 of his classes his non-homework-ways has brought an A- down to like a C or D!
The other approach we are thinking of is to "hire" another older honors student to kind of hang with him afterschool @ the library or something to be sure that he does the homework, and can help him if needed. I think this will play into the attention part well, as he will still be in "school mode". The annoying part of the scenario is the local HS is not even forcing the teachers to put the homework etc. on-line where we parents can track it!
Hope this was some help & good luck!0 -
All of those chores plus more were my daily and weekly responsibilities by the time I was 9, in addition to homework. But we didn't have a dog.
If I'd been given the choice, I would have chosen homework over dishes. And I would have chosen anything over cleaning the bathroom.0 -
Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.0 -
When mine were younger, the best punishment was switching the wireless router off at a set (early) time each night - meant they caught up on their sleep too!
Oooh... I may have to do this. Why hadn't I thought of that already?
You. Are. Brilliant!0 -
Make him listen to Justin Bieber and New Direction on a daily basis..............take away all of HIS music - ONLY Bieber and New DIrection.
Being a 12 year old boy - this might make him snap out of it....................
P.S. I'm fairly certain they employ this technique at GITMO0 -
Put him in a room with books and notebooks and stare at him until he gets uncomfortable.0
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Are you sure this is laziness? You know your son best... I'm just wondering if there's any sort of underlying cause.
* Trying to fail so he doesn't have to go to school for some reason (could be logical in a kid's head)
* Actual problem learning the material and perhaps needs help (we thought the same of my cousin to discover he was dyslexic, and simply jumbled type fonts helped tremendously)
* He's just being a rebellious pre-teen *kitten*? LOL
Or maybe he's being bullied or struggling in school? Try finding out what the issue is besides him thinking he knows everything.. 7th grade was a huge stress in my and my cousins lives so there could be something going on.0 -
just keep walking around the house naked 24/7 until he cant stand it anymore. no boy wants to see his mom naked..his friends might,,,be he won't.0
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I would totally make him wear bum outfits to school, until he starts doing his homework.
Horrible idea.
I was a rebellious teenager, doing so would definitely make me start doing my homework! I had my belongings taken away, grounded, screamed at, etc, nothing seemed to work at the time.0 -
At that age, I found taking things more effective. X-box, phone, laptop, whatever.
THIS.
Whats important to your kid? Whatever it is. Thats what you take away. Most kids today cant live without their phones, internet, computer or video games. Id be willing to bet its one of the reasons hes also skipping homework.
When he demonstrates some responsibility by doing his homework first, then he can have all the toys back.0 -
This is what I have threatened with LOL!! I told him if he didn't straighten up I would drive him to school, hold his hand as we walked into class and help him hand over the homework.
As to actually completing the homework. We told him we wanted to see it every night. Sometimes he claimed he finished it in class and our response to that was that he still had to bring it home and show it to us since it was not officially due till the next day.I saw a video on FB that showed a parent going to school with their daughter who was acting up in class--went to every class with her and sat thru each of her classes until she straightened up and started taking school seriously. How embarrasing to have a parent there all the time!
Don't know if you're in a position to be able to do that...but I sure wish I would have thought of that when my daughter was in school!0 -
I agree with this - they don't care at this age if they fail - but you will as a parent If they are living in your basement. Stay on his butt - make him do the manual labor and remind him they don't let people sleep under bridges anymore...Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.0 -
Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.
I am very serious.0 -
Put him in a room with books and notebooks and stare at him until he gets uncomfortable.
Ha! I really like that one!0 -
Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
I guess I'm one of those dreaded helicopter parents. LOL I don't get why being concerned about homework is a helicopter parent....they still need guidance, right? IDK....
ANYWHO!!
I went through this with my son, I got him additional homework assistance (he still wouldn't turn in his homework). It wasn't until I started taking his electronics away and giving him manual labor that he started to realize he was making his own life more difficult. It took a hot minute, but once he had all of his luxuries taken away and I made it clear what I expected from him - things improved DRAMATICALLY.
Now my daughter has some learning challenges - she just needs the extra time/explanation. So she's in a weekend tutoring program and her anime watching time has been limited to the weekends. This is motivating her to bring up her grades so she can watch Black Butler or whatever after her homework is done.
Btw, my son is 19 now and in college, pulling a B average.
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I'm loving all of these ideas...0
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Have you taken away privacy? I have a friend that took his daughter's bedroom door off the hinges until she started doing what she was supposed to in school. It didn't take long for that to work.0
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How about setting aside a time for him to do his homework and helping him?
Teens and tweens don't want mom and dad helping them with their homework. He will just start lying to her and saying he doesn't have any. Besides, at that age, they need to learn how to work independently.
Sure. Just keep coming up with cool punishments and watch him fail. I went down this road as a kid. Then there was military school and set study hours and tutors. The set study hours and tutoring did what all the punishments in the world couldn't. I'm seeing the same issues with my own kids. Kids need structure and guidance. He can learn to work independently in high school and college, but he has to get there first.0 -
you have failed as a parent and the only logical conclusion is to put the kid up for adoption and hope better parents come along0
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Have you considered that your child is not challenged enough? As a teacher I often see this. Maybe make him do a research paper for you instead. Let him relish in the consequences that the teacher will pose on him for not doing his homework.
The tasks may be tedious, maybe sit down and help him do his homework. Schedule time right after school for you and him at the table every night with no distractions.0 -
Show him a pamphlet for a Military School and tell him if he doesn't straighten out, that's where he will be going.0
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Show him a pamphlet for a Military School and tell him if he doesn't straighten out, that's where he will be going.
This is the plot of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.0 -
Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
Not wanting your child to fail a grade is being a helicopter parent???!0 -
LOL! We've (father = former Marine, me= former Air Force) already begun teaching my soon to be 12 yr old how to fold his shirts!Show him a pamphlet for a Military School and tell him if he doesn't straighten out, that's where he will be going.0 -
Have him write a short essay describing the benefits he hopes to gain by not doing his homework... and he should read the essay to you after he completes the essay!!:glasses: 0
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I agree with this - they don't care at this age if they fail - but you will as a parent If they are living in your basement. Stay on his butt - make him do the manual labor and remind him they don't let people sleep under bridges anymore...Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.
Agree with you as well. Cant believe the suggestions to let their kid fail, or embarass their kid. This shows a real lack of maturity and responsibility. So I guess if that persons kid was playing with matches, they would just let them keep playing until everyone in the house was set on fire. THAT would teach everyone a lesson. Great job dad! *parent of the year sticker for you*0 -
Show him a pamphlet for a Military School and tell him if he doesn't straighten out, that's where he will be going.
This is the plot of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
0 -
Don't be a helicopter parent. There are natural consquences for him not doing his homework. He'll experience them and make changes. It's hard to sit back and let him do that but in the long run, both of your lives will be much better and less stressful.
The all-knowing, all-powerful Max
(pay no attention the man behind the curtain)
I agree, helicopter parents make life difficult for their children. Let him fail. What happens to you when you don't do something you are supposed to do.....there is a consequence. Let him learn about consequences. There is no better teacher than failure.
Are you serious right now? Providing consequences for your children so that they can avoid setting their lives up for failure is actually what a parent is supposed to do. Do you really think he will care if he flunks math now? He might care when he is 30 and flipping burgers, but not right now.
Kind of my thought too. I ALMOST flunked out of school my senior year, That could have affected the rest of my life.. I didn't get into the local university/colleges and went to a community college and struggled to get through one semester. I don't know that allowing your child to fail out of 'tough love' is the right thing to do in this situation.
I know my life would have been different had I put more effort into school and got a degree, my parents just didn't care/ weren't around enough to point out the importance.0 -
Have you taken away privacy? I have a friend that took his daughter's bedroom door off the hinges until she started doing what she was supposed to in school. It didn't take long for that to work.
I did this. Didn't work. Nothing worked (for me), including sitting with her and helping with her homework. She would yell at me and tell me I wasn't doing it right. She just had to learn the hard way.0
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