your worse or humiliating experience when fat?
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My brother's brother deciding, less than an hour after burying my dad, while in the middle of eating at the repast, it was the perfect time to remind me of how fat I'd gotten since the last time he saw me.
But thankfully (or not) I barely had outward teasing, bullying, and such. My most detrimental feelings about being fat almost exclusively generated from a constant, self perpetuated loathing.0 -
when out shopping with my absolutely gorgeous fit younger sister the girls working at one of the stores was laughing at me and pointing out that I should not be in that store
my sister told them they were *kitten*
and we left
people just in general loved to humiliate me or act like I did not exist
but this had nothing to do with my losing weight btw0 -
This is really what prompted me to join MFP. I work in a factory and I went to lean over to look at a machine and my pants ripped right at the butt! Luckily I had some decent undies on, but it was embarrassing....
I've owned those pants for ten years (since high school) and I guess I was in denial because I "always fit in the same pants", although my muffin top was starting to show. On MFP, my food diary is showing me that I'm not eating as healthily as I thought I had been (rude awakening)0 -
The difficulty of buying clothes for the last 3 years and then a few months ago when someone mentioned to me that I should consider getting gastric bypass surgery. That offended me because I never thought my weight was that much of a problem. I guess have just been ignoring the elephant in the room.0
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So if you ask me what my most humiliating moment is, it was failing in front of my kids for so long. Last year on May 5th my daughter and I went for a walk and I couldn't even walk around 1/4 of the block. I gave up, told my daughter we needed to turn around because I hurt too bad to continue. That was the moment I told myself I had to do something if not I would be failing myself and my children/family. I expect alot from my kids so why is losing weight so different? On May 6th I started my journey and here I am today 50+ lbs healthier and working out at curves. Beyond proud of myself and now I can stand straight with a smile on my face with the confidence I never had. I feel amazing about myself and will continue this journey although I still have a ways to go...but no one is stopping me now 0
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I decided to go to a gym and start getting into shape. They had little curtained areas for one to dress in, and they had a small metal foldable stool for sitting on. When I sat on it, it completely collapsed and broke, and sent me sprawling! How embarrasing! At that time, it did not send me on a quest for getting in shape, but rather set me back to the point I just hid and ate for the next several days! I was soooooooooo depressed! But that was then, this is now, and I'm back on track! :blushing:
Oh no! This reminds me of when I was a 13 year old fat kid. I took my first trip to Europe with 13 other students and some chaperones. We were in Paris, in an old 2 star hotel, and they overbooked the room for the boys. There were 5 of us, but only 4 beds. Well, shy one that I was back then, I didn't speak up for one of the beds so I was given a roll in bed. The box spring had wood, not metal, supports. In the middle of the night the wooden supports break, cracking with a LOUD sound, not once, not twice, but THREE times. I could hear a couple other boys snickering in the darkness.
So embarrassing. Looking back though, while I was a fat kid, my weight was such that a typical size adult male would have encountered the same problem. But I was already so, so self concious about my weight, and the bed breaking was just a nightmare of shame and embarrassment.0 -
I've never been really truly over weight. I've just always been "thick"
I remember at a business thing- we all went to big locations for a country wide meeting- and almost everyone brought their kids- so we met lots of other kids from all over- and we were in the pool and someone said I had thunder thighs.
That didn't impact me too much because under water- everything is distorted.
But when I was in high school- or freshman college- I was making a saddle with my friend (the expert) And it's custum fit to your butt.. and we were fitting it and he was like- well you have to do THIS because you have a bubble butt- and it needs to fit this way.
This was about 2 years before I realized bubble butt was a good thing (I come from a typical skinny white flat butt back ground).. but it shook me up pretty badly- I didn't eat well for a while.
I have issues occasionally shopping for pants feeling fat because all the pants don't fit- but that isn't my fault. that's theirs for making crappy ill fitting pants!!0 -
I work in the health care industry and take peoples heights/weights all the time. For the longest time I've been bigger than a lot of men I speak with
My husband recently told me he's worried about my health in the long run. He doesn't want me to end up like my mom.0 -
One more thing, a "look" can be worse than words. At some point, I quit keeping track of my weight. I think I hit somewhere near 250 lbs on my 5'5" frame, before I came out of my funk. The "look" was common, when my husband and I would go out to eat. He does not have a weight issue. I felt the "look" of disapproval no matter what food choices I made. Who knows the "look" I am talking about?
I know the look. It's the one that says "as a fat person you shouldn't be eating that" or "Yeah right, you didn't get fat by eating salad"
My moment was when I was shopping for my niece/nephew when my sister was heavily pregnant. I was in the baby section and a women asked me when my baby was due because I looked close to popping point.
The humiliation of having to explain I wasn't pregnant brought me to tears.0 -
One more thing, a "look" can be worse than words. At some point, I quit keeping track of my weight. I think I hit somewhere near 250 lbs on my 5'5" frame, before I came out of my funk. The "look" was common, when my husband and I would go out to eat. He does not have a weight issue. I felt the "look" of disapproval no matter what food choices I made. Who knows the "look" I am talking about?
Oh I know that look. Here's what's going through their heads.
"Look at that fat guy eating a hamburger! Happy heart attack, fat boy!"
"Look at that fat guy eating a salad! Not working for you, is it, fat boy?"
Oh this. This a million times!!!
It is a can't win revolving scenario. I used to weigh nearly 300 lbs btw. I have experienced this side of the spectrum and the other. Wait until you hit, maintain and exceeded your fitness goals. It will get just as odd and you will still be hearing comments like, "Can you eat that?" or "Are you supposed to be eating that?" It will evolve to more of a personal inquiry latter on along the line's of " Is this healthy?" or "Can I eat this?" In regards to 1000's different food items people around you stumble upon on any given day. Remember these four phrases because you will be hearing them so often they will one day make you want to puke.0 -
Having ask for a seatbelt extension on a flight and the stewardess looking at me like some sort nasty squidgy smelly thing she'd just stepped in.0
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I'd been a little overweight since I quit playing football after high school and slowly gaining since then.
It took 20 years, but last summer, I was at Six Flags with my wife and son (and I bet you can all guess where this is going) and I was told I was too heavy for a ride. My son was confused, and my wife was concerned.
I managed to drop 30 lbs on my own, and came to MFP for better support and to figure out what I was doing for the next 60.
I can ride the ride in question now, but still have a long ways to go.
Edit: typo0 -
To anyone who replied I thank you so far as I can also relate. ive also shared my experiences here
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1191298-your-worse-or-humiliating-experience-when-fat-part-20 -
Someone asked me if I was pregnant. I was not. :grumble:0
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A. Anything to do with clothes shopping.
B. When I had my hair hacked off I was walking through a store when a little kid with his dad asked , "daddy is that a boy or a girl".....
C.right after my gallbladder surgery my mom pops in with, "would you ever consider bypass".
Thanks mom.
god I know all about that too, a and b. also my dad is a nightmare and heartless when it comes to this topic. sorry about your mom though.0 -
This was about 20 years ago. I am 5'5" and I was dating a guy who is 5'2". At the time, I weighed around 275 and he weighed maybe 110 soaking wet. We were at a mall and he kept walking ahead or me or lagging behind. I asked him what the problem was and he told me, "I don't want to walk with you. We look like a circus couple." I was hurt but said nothing. I was at a point where I was pretty sure no one would ever want me. Not long after that, he told me I should try to date other people because he felt he could do better than me and didn't want me to hang around for nothing.
I was pretty hurt by what he said and I actually believed him. I had been picked on for my weight for years, so of course he was right, right?. I did end up dating other people and life went on, but the ego damage was done and lasts to this day. I'm married with a family of my own now, but more often than not, I still don't feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.0 -
This was about 20 years ago. I am 5'5" and I was dating a guy who is 5'2". At the time, I weighed around 275 and he weighed maybe 110 soaking wet. We were at a mall and he kept walking ahead or me or lagging behind. I asked him what the problem was and he told me, "I don't want to walk with you. We look like a circus couple." I was hurt but said nothing. I was at a point where I was pretty sure no one would ever want me. Not long after that, he told me I should try to date other people because he felt he could do better than me and didn't want me to hang around for nothing.
I was pretty hurt by what he said and I actually believed him. I had been picked on for my weight for years, so of course he was right, right?. I did end up dating other people and life went on, but the ego damage was done and lasts to this day. I'm married with a family of my own now, but more often than not, I still don't feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough.
first of all congrats on losing 88 pounds
secondly , I know what its like to still be traumatized from words BUT I can tell you that loser did you a favor by letting you go.
he clearly felt so inadequate about himself he used to try and make himself feel better. hes probably walking around with a napoleon complex until this day , but at least you lost the weight! don't let this creep rob you of your life still, you've lost a ton of weight and I can see from your pic you have a great smile and have probably made more millstones than you've realized . You are good enough.0 -
Way to go!! 90 lbs lost!! 0
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I agree. He did you a favor. Way to go!! 8 lbs lost!!: smile:0
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Aww, thanks you guys! I'm in a better place for the most part, aside from learning to deal with my demons (both food demons and emotional demons), but I have a husband who loves me and two really great kids, so I'm a work in progress.
As for the guy who thought he could do so much better than me.....I do know he's still single, living with his cat in the same apartment that he was in 20 years ago. Hopefully he's happy with the choices he's made. :-)0 -
When my four year old laughs when I take my clothes off. Or says ewwww. And when she says she wishes I could run and play with her. Children are our worst critics.0
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My husband and I both sat down at a picnic table at a huge family reunion. Before we could even set down our plates (which were piled up with food), the bench broke beneath us and we went flying backward. Our food went all over and everyone laughed. We heard the same joke all night long: "time to hit the gym, eh?!"
Another time I was working at a coffee shop and a little kid came up with her mom. She was very sweet and she started talking to me. Then she looks up at her mom and says "I always make friends wherever we go, and I really like making friends with big people!" The kid was so proud that she wasn't judgmental, but of course I was humiliated and so was her mom.0 -
Mine wasn't a public thing, but just sort of the "turning point" where I decided I had to lose weight. Basically, it was the realization that I'd subconsciously started putting my socks on first, and then my pants, because my stomach was too big for me to reach down and put on socks while also already wearing my jeans. It's also partially because I just have really long legs, but that was a bad moment for me because I'd spent most of my life as a really flexible person.0
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One more thing, a "look" can be worse than words. At some point, I quit keeping track of my weight. I think I hit somewhere near 250 lbs on my 5'5" frame, before I came out of my funk. The "look" was common, when my husband and I would go out to eat. He does not have a weight issue. I felt the "look" of disapproval no matter what food choices I made. Who knows the "look" I am talking about?
I do, but it is frequently coupled with "Is that on your diet?" (my response is, yes - diet is what you eat and I'm eating this so it's in my diet)0 -
Someone asked me if I was pregnant. I was not. :grumble:
Many times - I got tired of coming up with a way to explain no, I was just fat.
I lost about 20 pounds 10 years ago and walking around the pond at work a woman said to me "oh, you had your baby". I said "no, I lost 20 pounds but thanks for noticing" I admit I enjoyed watching her sputter and try to walk that back.0 -
I get asked WEEKLY, "How far along are you?!" "Oh your pregnant too?!" Or worse! Some of the doctors I have worked with... "I didn't know you were expecting!" Me.... And almost always my response "I'm not pregnant, I'm fat."
I've had many bad experiences, but this phrase struck me and reminded me of something: two summers ago, I was on vacation. I wore regular clothes (shorts and a t-shirt) in the pool, because a) fat people bathing suits are expensive and b) I would've worn clothes over said bathing suit anyway. My family, most of whom are thin, fit, at least average, etc (with the exception of a few) were by the pool. As I got out of the water, someone asked me, concerned, "Are you walking funny?"
The thing is, I am flat-footed and knock-kneed so I probably do walk "funny," and I was walking around the pool, so I was trying not to slip. I had a foot injury (had sprained my ankle or cut my foot, something like that) and yet I immediately replied, "No, I'm just fat." Everyone looked at me so awkwardly and it was a really strange moment.
It's not my worst or most humiliating moment, but it really struck me. I don't think "fat" is a slur; I was fat, I was obese (still am), so why not be allowed to own it? And at the same time, they were just expressing concern...why did I jump to that?0 -
A. Anything to do with clothes shopping.
Oh yes.0 -
I have a lot, but a horrible one is when all your pictures (that friends upload) on fbk are all over your newsfeed and you're the fattest one in all of them. Untagging doesn't help.0
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Was in a clothing store, had just gotten off of work. I'd worn a corset under my uniform that day because my job required me to stand for long hours and it helped distribute some of the weight of my work equipment around my torso so that my hips and back don't hurt at the end of my shift, but as I was no longer at work, I'd taken off the hideous uniform, so I was wearing a tank top under my corset (under-bust to allow for wider range of movement) and a camisole over that, unbuttoned and my pants from work. For all intents and purposes I looked normal save for the corset, which I didn't think looked that noticeable, but apparently I was wrong.
I was in the lingerie section, browsing on my way to the dressing room to try on a couple of shirts and a pair of potential work pants when another kind of chubby woman approached me, pointed to my torso and asked "Why are you wearing that?" and because I am quite sarcastic almost always, I replied something along the lines of "er... because I'd probably get a ticket for wandering around topless...?" and she completely ignored the fact that everything about my tone and body language were indicating that I wasn't in the mood for a chat and said "Do you think it makes you look skinny? It doesn't." All I could think of to respond with, because I really didn't want to talk to her was "O...k..." I just kind of stood there stunned at not only being blindsided with spontaneous appearance assessment, but at the degree of her rudeness. Then, because apparently I'd somehow done her wrong and she was on a mission to drive her point home that I was somehow wrong in my clothing decisions and it had offended her, she comes out with "Why don't you just lose the weight if you want to look skinny instead of wearing that? You're not fooling anyone." really loudly and I saw a good 5 or 6 people turn to look.
I can't recall the last time I experienced that level of pure embarrassment. Here I was, minding my own business, just trying to get a couple of shirts and pants for work, mentally and physically exhausted from a very long and busy work day, not talking to anyone, and this woman I've never seen before starts attacking me in public and now I'm on display. After going over all the possibilities for a graceful exit, all I could think of was to respond with enough hostility that she would be surprised and flee, so I leaned in and said "What the f*** is your problem, lady? You need to learn to mind your own f***ing business. Go wobble your chins at someone else, you cow." and walked straight into the dressing room while she stood there dumbfounded.
Once I got to the dressing room, I was already regretting attacking her for her weight, but in the moment it was all I could think of, and a little surprised at myself for cursing like that since it's so unlike me. I was also so humiliated and aware of all the negatives of my body and appearance that, even though some of them might have actually fit, I couldn't convince myself to purchase anything I tried on. Actually, I haven't been back to that store since.
There was also the time when I transferred at work, to a position which apparently a lot of the women in the company transfer to when pregnant (I didn't know this), and one of my male coworkers walks in, looks at me and goes "You pregnant?" This time I was more on it and responded with looking down and going "What are you trying to say?" and giving a quizzical look, which made him blush, and I pressed with "Are you calling me fat?" and smiling that smile that all guys know that means they're walking on thin ice and she's just handed you an ice pick.
There was also another male coworker who I'm more friendly with and sometimes have lunch with who saw me eating salad (which apparently a bigger girl can't do without being on a diet) one day and finished my lunch the next with a small piece of cake, and he goes "Oh, no diet today?"0 -
I wouldn't know where to start.... In elementary school I regularly was beaten up for being fat. Maybe the most embarrassing in elementary school was when my music teacher put me in the lead in the musical - as the girl who was always hungry. Every student and teacher made fun of me after and constantly called me fat. It was disgusting, looking back on it.
I get embarrassed meeting new people, especially people like my boyfriend's friends or something. I remember one time I couldn't fit on a rollercoaster, that was pretty damn embarrassing. I was once sexually assaulted and the man told me that since I was fat, it was the best I was gonna get and I better enjoy it...
I've had quite a few awful experiences as a fat women.0
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