Women with non dieting husbands

Idothin

My husband has an overactive thyroid (graves disease). At one point when his thyroid went haywire, he dropped down to 135 lbs and he's 6ft tall. (for the record, not a good time). In any case, at one point, the doctors told him he was not to exercise (because of a fast heart beat) and to eat as much as he could. As the supportive girlfriend (at the time) I sat around with him and ate and ate...bad move. Now..12 years later, I still have to deal with him getting enough to eat while trying to stay at 1600 calories or so. I've worked hard to find things he likes that don't thrill me. He eats big bagels with cream cheese for breakfast, I do not. I will often serve a type of roll at dinner, I don't eat it. He gets mashed potatoes, I get mashed cauliflower. I do like hot food on a cold salad, so often I put my meat on a bed of lettuce. That helps. It's been 12 years day in and day out and it gets really really old. I get tired of saying I can't go get ice cream with the kids, or no, we can't go out to dinner, I'm definitely debbie downer in his food excitement world but those things are my downfall. Luckily he does appreciate healthy food.

hesn92

We eat the same things he just eats a lot more of it...

CynthiaT60

this is what i do also...and if i indulge a little more, I just workout a little harder that night

Hehe.

mumblemagic

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Ok, fair enough.

Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?

eldamiano

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's mildly irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Touche. Many people on here seem to think that because this is a weight loss forum, that you still cant have any fun...

eldamiano

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Ok, fair enough.

Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?

Oh for goodness sake, stop giving lessons about life. It's not really any of your business to decide what should be directed to the OP. If he/she is not amused, he/she can deal with it him/herself.

DeeVanderbles

My husband generally eats the same dinner that I do, which is pretty healthy. Our differences are breakfast and lunch. He's a night owl so he often only eats "lunch", dinner and a snack or two. He currently doesn't work so he's home all day and always asks for taquitos or hot pockets or something for lunch. I'm not around when he eats it so I'm never tempted.

However, just the other morning he was telling me that he has been exhausted lately and that "something's got to give" so I think he may start to eat healthier. For example, I grilled up some chicken last night for my lunch this week and I'm probably going to end up making more because he said he is going to have some for lunch, too.

Even though he tries to eat healthier, he refuses to eat some things. Like he'll only eat white rice or white pasta he won't eat whole grain anything except he'll eat multi-grain bread. So I normally end up making brown rice for myself and white rice for him. It's just one more little pan.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Ok, fair enough.

Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?

So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it

I suppose I could have said "put on your big girl panties and learn some willpower," but I don't think that was the solution the OP was looking for (too obvious, and probably not "supportive" enough since she is clearly not accountable for her food consumption).

I've also gotten warnings from the mods for being "hateful" in my suggestions, so I will just stick with being absurd/silly.

kroonha

I cook the same meals for the both of us. He just has bigger portions and I try to eat more salad and veggies alongside my dinner to counterbalance some high calorie or carb stuff that might be in there.

Portion control is all you need...that and IIFYM.

nancybuss

Its harder with all the junk in the house for sure. That is why I slip up more than I would otherwise. After awhile some of the 'bad' food looks gross. I try to put that in my head.

Just because someone can eat McDonalds every day and not gein weight Does Not Mean they are Healthy!

Both my husband and I had pretty low "good" cholesterol numbers on my work check-up. I started eating better and working out. He has not changed. A year later... mine almost doubles. his has not moved.


THAT matters to me. I'm an older parent and want to be around as long as possible for the kids

run_way

I cook, he eats what I make (with the exception of my venturing into making a raw food sloppy joe "meat" one time , terrible terrible idea). Generally he just eats more of the meal than I do.

ETA: I still make his favorite meals that aren't perfectly ideally healthy, but I know when it's coming, so I fit it in and if it doesn't fit, then I won't eat the less healthy portions of the meal.

cebreisch

Yeah - all men are b@st@rds - my brother was like that growing up - could eat anything anywhere anytime, and lose weight while he was doing it. I can't believe the amount of food that he could put away, and I'd gain just by looking at it! He actually "came around" to logging what he eats and stuff about 8 months after I started. Now he's "in" on making things healthier.

As far as your husband goes: Teach him how to cook, then let him make it when you're out! I remember when we first got married, my husband would come home and say, "What's for dinner?" I'd say, "Whatever you fix!" "But I worked all day!" "So did I!!"

Next thing: Don't beat yourself up about moderation going out the window. You're human. Sometimes, you just gotta give in! LOL You're doing the right thing by looking at the situation and trying to see what could be done different.

Good luck!

mumblemagic

Wrap his Big Mac in divorce papers. That'll straighten him up.

Why do people always do this? She's irritated that her husband can eat cheese, so she should divorce him? Moron.

It's called sarcasm....

Ok, fair enough.

Problem is, I've seen that kind of post so many times on this forum, and serious rather than sarcastic. People think they're being clever, but actually it's tired, not that funny, and doesn't help the OP. She has asked for help with something she is finding difficult and making snarky remarks trivialises a problem which to her is serious. Without some indication that it is meant as a light-hearted remark it just comes across as jerkish. Besides, would you tell a complete stranger to divorce their husband if you were speaking to them face to face, even in jest?

So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it

I suppose I could have said "put on your big girl panties and learn some willpower," but I don't think that was the solution the OP was looking for (too obvious, and probably not "supportive" enough since she is clearly not accountable for her food consumption).

I've also gotten warnings from the mods for being "hateful" in my suggestions, so I will just stick with being absurd/silly.

Personally I find the "put on your big girl panties" suggestion less offensive than the sarky divorce comment, but that might just be me.

I kind of agree with you to some extent about being responsible for your food intake. However, I know what it is like to crave chocolate and not be able to resist. It's like it's sitting there on the work surface, speaking to me "eat me, eat me". So while broadly speaking we are responsible for what we put in our mouths, it is much much easier if our favourite yummy things aren't thrust into our personal space. You can't always beat your subconscious.

This is why:

Don't beat yourself up about moderation going out the window.

OregonShell

In my house I have my husband and 3 kids ranging from 17 to 25, they all know how to cook so I just call fend for yourselves and everyone is on their own. They can eat what ever they want if they don't want to eat healthy like me.. when I do cook for the whole family I have a small portion of what i make for them with a big serving of steamed veggies.... or I prepare mine in a seperate pan so I can weigh and measure all of my ingredients.. works for most things... Good luck.

ElaineBeekman

We only eat together for dinner and weekends - we're at work the rest of the time. I try to have a high-protein, yummy breakfast (I made Bisquick Impossible Min-Pies with leftovers - they're in the freezer, fast, easy, chicken/veggies/eggs/a little cheese and end up right around 300 calories and filling), then pack or eat lunch at school where I teach.

For dinner I made the same stuff I've pretty much always made but pay A LOT more attention to my portions. I know that was a bad area for me. We live on a farm so I cook a lot of simple/meat and potatoes kind of meals but the traditional rule in our families has always been - meat, carb, and veggie minimum for meal, fruit/dessert after. I'm not sure our diet, with a lot of beef and pork and almost no fish, and meat at every meal would be considered healthy by a lot of people, but we don't do a lot of sauces or gravies, etc. and we do a lot of grilling and baking and we've done it that way for generations so I'm OK with it. It is not a meal if my husband doesn't have dessert. I love the carbs and cheese and stuff that can load up the calories so I don't deny myself, I just have a little. No butter on cornbread (or pair it with mashed winter squash), a 1/4 cup of mac and cheese, load up on the veggies, etc. If I allow myself a half serving of something that's high cal/a guilty pleasure it doesn't make me guilty.

We forget sometimes that food isn't just nutrients we're putting in our body. It's emotional too and fun and yummy! I also believe that getting down on myself about eating something will probably just increase my stress and make it harder for me to lose weight. Don't deny yourself and longingly look over at your husband's plate wishing you could have some. Portion out a little for yourself and enjoy. Put it on a plate, measure it out and then eat it. Don't take a bite out of the pot/pan, because before you know it, you've eaten more than you planned and the guilt sets in. I know that if I denied myself all the yummy things I love, I'd cave and binge, so I don't deny myself. Same with dessert (but not every night like him, I plan or see where I'm at calorie-wise).

I haven't changed what I eat that much since I started MYP in late Sept/early Oct last year. I'm working on portions and snacking and generally have been more aware. I can't even say I eat "clean" exclusively. I still have an Oreo or two for dessert sometimes and stop for a fast food lunch once in a while. But I pay attention to everything I'm putting in my body, and I'm down over 20 pounds.

Don't punish yourself and don't deny yourself. Small steps.

EllaBelleAces

I make whatever I am eating for dinner that day. If he doesn't want it, he can make something for himself, or I make a single portion of whatever he wants added to it. I also explained to him that I am trying hard, and any support he can give me would mean the world to me.

MelRC117

My husband doesn't want to diet, but I'm the one who does the cooking and food shopping. As a result he eats what I make. I just make sure I make the things I want to eat, that fir into my meal plan. He tends to eat a much larger serving then me, and that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing out. The rule in the house about snacks, is if he wants to have a snack that isn't on the meal plan, then he has to eat it in his study away from me. The whole out of sight out of mind theory. He's pretty good with it, he tends to wait until I'm out in our rec room or down at the pool before he goes snacking.

If my husband told me there was a "snack rule" and I wasn't allowed to snack in front of him and be sent to a different room I'd seriously laugh at him.

My response is similar to most PPs: I have my husband, a 12 year old stepson and an 18 month old so it's kind of all over the place as far as food goes and portion sizes. I tend to eat lower carb so I will make myself something different than the others out of basically the same things (for example, they'll have tacos, I'll take the meat and make a taco salad). I also will make the make the protein up to a certain point, take out some meat for me and add the sauce/pasta/rice/whatever else for the others. Making a side for them also works like potatoes, bread, or pasta in addition to the veggies.

neandermagnon

Actually, no it doesn't. If you're talking about an average woman versus an average man who are eating the same amount of food, and she's getting fat while he's not, then the fat in his meals isn't turning into blockages around his heart, it's turning into carbon dioxide, energy and water, because his body needs more energy than hers does. So hers stores the excess as fat (usually around the hips but depending on her body type, maybe around her waist), while his burns it.

The solution to this problem is adjusting the portion sizes to the need of the person and their energy needs.

Who said they were eating the same amount? Not the OP.

I wasn't directing that comment at the OP. I was directing it at the person who said.....

"I remind myself that the body damaging fat goes somewhere, even if it's not on your tummy or tush - usually as blockages in the heart. No such thing as a free lunch. " (- quoted directly above my post)

.....in response to the situation where the husband eats a lot and doesn't gain weight and the wife does gain weight eating the same foods. It's not the case that the "body damaging fat" (whatever that is) is going somewhere else to do damage to his body, if he's not gaining weight it's because the fat's being burned, because he needs more calories.

No idea if the OP was eating the same portion sizes as her husband or not, but it's a common explanation for why the wife's gaining weight when the husband isn't, so it deserved a mention.

Sunshine2plus2

Mind control!

RonnieLodge

How do you women with husbands who refuse to diet stay strong. ......... So women how do you still make things for your husband without eating it.

We have had a discussion and have agreed we do not require family sized tubs of ice-cream or other junk food brought into the house. I believe he has quite a stash of chocolate biscuits and sweets in his study.

If I make something for us to eat together (which doesn't happen often due to our timetables) I will make sure it is something that fits with what I am eating and only make enough for the two of us.

I don't make him anything to eat if I am not eating it.