Spinning my wheels

MACnificence

Hey

So as the title indicates I feel like im spinning my wheels in the gym at the moment , I have been lifting weights for a few months now and strength gains have been minimal, I had to deload after the gym being closed for 8 days over christmas so im still trying to get strength up from that break

heres the big problem though , ive developed a massive mental fear of gaining weight. I know its silly but I actually cant shift the irratic thoughts so to make sure i dont gain weight i have been continuing to make sure i get cardio in most days ive actually reduced this to 5 days now from 6 so i have made some progress
i run at least 5k everyday , try to run in the morning now and lift in the evening
i have been trying to up calories for several months now , my original goal weight was 120Ibs then 110Ibs , I am now 101Ibs and pretty much still at the same intake even though i should be working my way up to maintainance calories
I do good for a day or 2 where i will get my cals up and then bam I land back down to in around 1450-1500 caloryies

how do i find a balance ? i really want to progress in the weights room but it aint happening probably because im not eating enough i dont know

i just want to find a healthy balance but im really struggling I know cardio wont give me the body i want but my fear is really holding me back in the strength room

norcalskater

Strength gains will come in time. When you lift use a weight where you can do at least 6 reps but no more than 12 and repeat that about 4 times for every lift you do. Also make sure you are getting adequate protein because you need that for gains. If you are concerned about not having enough calories try to find foods that have a higher calorie content. I don't know how tall you are but 101 lbs sounds a little low. 105-110 lbs might be a healthier weight for of you. Use the tracker and find the balance between exercise and food. I say gain a few lbs then find the right balance to maintain it. Everyones body is different so you have to figure it out by your own observation.

MACnificence

I'm 5'2 , so fairly small ..
I make sure I get adequate protein every day normally 100-110g
Will strength gains be more difficult in a calorie deficit anyway?

MityMax96

I'm 5'2 , so fairly small ..
I make sure I get adequate protein every day normally 100-110g
Will strength gains be more difficult in a calorie deficit anyway?

You may get stronger....but you will not put on size....

What are your stats??
age, weight, gender

MACnificence

24 female 101Ibs

Dsanders460

Think of it this way. Every pound of muscle that you put on in the gym burns FAR more calories than a pound of fat ever thought of! Most women do not naturally bulk up just by lifting weights. It is not in our body chemistry. One of my male friends talked me into switching out of the lower weight high rep, into his 5X5 routine. 5 sets of 5 reps. Start at a weight you are comfortable with, if by the 5th rep you are not struggling, move up for the next set. I actually saw much faster gains in strength that way than I EVER did with the higher reps. I also generally stay away from the machines and try to use the dumbells and free weights whenever possible, machines do not engage all the little stabilizer muscles that free weights will.

Now if I just had your dedication to running I could happily eat more calories and still lose weight, but no matter hwo much I wish it could be, running is not my friend

Oh, and if you do a quick cardio warm up ( 10 minutes or so to get your heart rate up), just before you lift, then take only very short ( less than 60 seconds) recovery breaks, then you burn more calories while you lift.

And as far as getting in more calories, if I were in your shoes, I would probably switch to a minimum of 2% milk and even body building forums will tell you that a glass of chocolate milk is just as effective as most protein shakes as a post workout drink. A nice cold 12 oz glass of chocolate milk will give you an extra 270 calories the way I make it, maybe more if you like yours extra chocolatey... A yummy and easy way to add extra calories and some extra protein.

Good luck and congrats on your hard work and results so far!

MityMax96

i have been trying to up calories for several months now , my original goal weight was 120Ibs then 110Ibs , I am now 101Ibs and pretty much still at the same intake even though i should be working my way up to maintainance calories
I do good for a day or 2 where i will get my cals up and then bam I land back down to in around 1450-1500 caloryies

how do i find a balance ? i really want to progress in the weights room but it aint happening probably because im not eating enough i dont know

i just want to find a healthy balance but im really struggling I know cardio wont give me the body i want but my fear is really holding me back in the strength room

Wow, ok you are very tiny.....

The only way you are gonna be able to tell is if you are keeping track of things.

Actually eat at maintenance calories, whatever they are......
Take measurements, not just on the scale......

Do it for 4 weeks, and then assess.....see where you are....how do you feel.....those kinda of things.
Then tweak your goals as needed.

30 days will give you an idea of which way you are going and if you want to keep going....you still have another 326 days left in the year to tweak and correct.

You need to get a handle on the mental aspect....no need to give yourself some eating disorder or fear of food

MityMax96

24 female 101Ibs

Your TDEE should be around 1700 cal/ day
If you were at 115 lbs, you would be about 1770 - 1800
I am assuming 5 days a week in exercise

MACnificence

I actually have no problem eating more food , I've a great appetite its the mental fear of regaining weight that is stopping me eating more.

Ya I exercise 5 days , run every morning and lift 3 days

I know I wont bulk up I'm not afraid of gaining muscle at all , I would like to gain muscle but to add muscle you need to gain fat and that's where my mind won't co operate

I genuinely think my body fat is not at an appropriate spot to start bulking anyway I could def do with losing some more fat mainly around my stomach area but I know you can't spot reduce my problem is though the rest of me is suffering , I've basically lost all shape at this stage so I know strength training is the only way I can get some shape back

My biggest problem is upping calories so I can make that progress in the strength room

I have a massive fear of regaining weight even though I live a complete different lifestyle now I can't shift these stupid feelings

MityMax96

I think you need to come to grips with your eating and do it quick before it gets worse......

Don't be afraid to eat...
From what you described, it sounds like you are very active, so eating more is not gonna be a problem.

Like I said, up your calories....at least to where maintenance is for you.....
Do it for a month, and see where you are......

One of the problems you could be running into is the fact you are exercising a lot but not eating enough for your body and you have been doing it for so long it is causing you problems.

100 lbs is pretty small, even at 5'1"
My youngest son, 8 yrs old.....is like over 70 pounds.....and he ain't 5 feet.....

I would definitely try at least a month doing 1650 - 1700 calories
1.0 gr protein / lb of body weight
0.4 gr fat / lb of body weight (minimum)
And carbs can make up the remainder of your needed calories

supermodelchic

The only way to gain muscle is to lift weights and eat clean /high protein, as a former powerlifted in my youth , I am so grateful that I had a bunch of bad *kitten* guys pushing me in the gym , now 30 years later I am grateful, lifted so heavy when I was young before **** started hurting ect( had shoulder surgery a few back. Do it while you can , while your body allows you to gain muscle, which is way more sexy than skinny fat. goodluck sweetie

BusyRaeNOTBusty

So you are having troubles making yourself eat at maintenance? Is this the problem?

Keep some high calorie food around the house. If you find you are low in the evening have a bowl of ice cream, or a protein shake or something. You are going to just have to force yourself. You won't gain at maintenance (besides a couple of pounds of water and/or glycogen). Focus on maintenance for a while, then you can decide if you want to eat above that for strength or muscle gains.

QuietBloom

I actually have no problem eating more food , I've a great appetite its the mental fear of regaining weight that is stopping me eating more.

Ya I exercise 5 days , run every morning and lift 3 days

I know I wont bulk up I'm not afraid of gaining muscle at all , I would like to gain muscle but to add muscle you need to gain fat and that's where my mind won't co operate

I genuinely think my body fat is not at an appropriate spot to start bulking anyway I could def do with losing some more fat mainly around my stomach area but I know you can't spot reduce my problem is though the rest of me is suffering , I've basically lost all shape at this stage so I know strength training is the only way I can get some shape back

My biggest problem is upping calories so I can make that progress in the strength room

I have a massive fear of regaining weight even though I live a complete different lifestyle now I can't shift these stupid feelings

Be careful. It sounds to me like you might be developing an ED. Please talk to someone about this before it gets out of hand.

jstout365

I actually have no problem eating more food , I've a great appetite its the mental fear of regaining weight that is stopping me eating more.

Ya I exercise 5 days , run every morning and lift 3 days

I know I wont bulk up I'm not afraid of gaining muscle at all , I would like to gain muscle but to add muscle you need to gain fat and that's where my mind won't co operate

I genuinely think my body fat is not at an appropriate spot to start bulking anyway I could def do with losing some more fat mainly around my stomach area but I know you can't spot reduce my problem is though the rest of me is suffering , I've basically lost all shape at this stage so I know strength training is the only way I can get some shape back

My biggest problem is upping calories so I can make that progress in the strength room

I have a massive fear of regaining weight even though I live a complete different lifestyle now I can't shift these stupid feelings

Here is the thing, to gain muscle, you will have to feed your body and gain weight. I'm 5'2" and currently 140, but have been as low as 125 in the past year when I was approximately 20% BF. One thing that I realized is that it isn't the number on the scale that dictates how a person looks. That comes from body composition.

Here is a great link that illustrates that point:
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

As for your mental outlook, I agree that if you are unable to move past the fear of gaining weight and it is preventing you from achieving your goals, you may want to look at talking to a medical professional. You know what needs to be done, but you won't let yourself do it.

SLLRunner

It sounds to me like you have some disordered thinking around food fear of gaining weight. You are also underweight. Please speak with a professional about the issues.

MACnificence

Ya im really struggling with this fear i have, i have tried several times to eat more and as i mentioned i do good for a day or 2 and then go back to restricting and cutting calories where i can again
my doctor expressed concern about my weight before and i was heavier then so im afraid to go see her again , she told me to focus on maintainance at that stage and considering ive lost weight since i feel like ive let her down
to be honest i dont feel like i can talk to a professional about it, ill clam up and more than likely just cry and not be able to tell them

its frustrating because I do want to be able to lift heavy , but this mental fear is prohibiting my progress i feel

and I 100% agree its not about the scale weight , I just wish i could drill that into my own head Im just petrified of ever being that overweight girl again

BusyRaeNOTBusty

Yeah, you need to talk to someone. Even if you cry you need to talk to them. It's time to get help.

MACnificence

Yeah, you need to talk to someone. Even if you cry you need to talk to them. It's time to get help.

I just dont feel strong enough to talk to someone about it , i keep feeling ill get this under control myself
I feel embarassed about it, i know my thinking isnt rational

QuietBloom

Yeah, you need to talk to someone. Even if you cry you need to talk to them. It's time to get help.

I just dont feel strong enough to talk to someone about it , i keep feeling ill get this under control myself
I feel embarassed about it, i know my thinking isnt rational

I had a problem once, and I didn't want to talk to anyone because every time I thought about it I would start crying. But it didn't get better, in fact it got worse. So I went in and cried. And you know what? It wasn't the end of the world and I got the help I needed. It really is OK to stop pretending that you are OK. :flowerforyou:

MACnificence

Yeah, you need to talk to someone. Even if you cry you need to talk to them. It's time to get help.

I just dont feel strong enough to talk to someone about it , i keep feeling ill get this under control myself
I feel embarassed about it, i know my thinking isnt rational

I had a problem once, and I didn't want to talk to anyone because every time I thought about it I would start crying. But it didn't get better, in fact it got worse. So I went in and cried. And you know what? It wasn't the end of the world and I got the help I needed. It really is OK to stop pretending that you are OK. :flowerforyou:

I am genuinely afraid to say it out loud! I dont want to be the girl who took her weight loss too far
Ive always been known for being so well grounded and Im very common sense driven usually, i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out

QuietBloom

Yeah, you need to talk to someone. Even if you cry you need to talk to them. It's time to get help.

I just dont feel strong enough to talk to someone about it , i keep feeling ill get this under control myself
I feel embarassed about it, i know my thinking isnt rational

I had a problem once, and I didn't want to talk to anyone because every time I thought about it I would start crying. But it didn't get better, in fact it got worse. So I went in and cried. And you know what? It wasn't the end of the world and I got the help I needed. It really is OK to stop pretending that you are OK. :flowerforyou:

I am genuinely afraid to say it out loud! I dont want to be the girl who took her weight loss too far
Ive always been known for being so well grounded and Im very common sense driven usually, i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out

I know. That's exactly how I felt too. I felt out of control and it was awful. I felt like my whole family was judging me. They weren't though. It was my thinking that was off and I needed help to get it straightened out, because I just couldn't get a handle on it myself. I'm guessing you are like me - we like to feel we are in control. Controlling your food intake is protecting you from the fear of gaining weight. You know it is hurting you, yet you feel powerless to find a way out of it. There IS a way out, but you need to go and get some help. No one in your family needs to know anything about it if you don't want them to.

MACnificence

I have a great tendency at persuading myself that there really isnt any problem, and chances are ill wake up tomorrow and will be back into , oh god im fine attitude
like im not even sure have i got an actual problem or what ?
i dont feel like im underweight or anything

emjaycazz

i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out

I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?

Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:

lisalsd1

It's not a completely irrational fear; I think everyone who has lost weight goes through it a least a little bit. If it's holding you back from improving though and controlling your thoughts, than yeah, it might be a problem.

I will tell you though...that I have been lifting since the summer. I have actually LOST weight. I started slowly, but just kept adding weights. I am down from a size 8 to a 4 in a few months. I didn't change my diet, other than increase my protein. I'm waaaaay stronger too.

geebusuk

It sounds like you've got everything ready for putting some muscle on BUT the fuel to do the work and make use of that protein.

I would slowly increase your calories eaten until you see the scales consistently slwoly going up. Going up slowly should mean less if any fat is put on, though at the expense of not gaining muscle so quickly.

Think of it this way. Every pound of muscle that you put on in the gym burns FAR more calories than a pound of fat ever thought of!

About 4 calories - think that was a day. There's lots of different figures, but the accurate ones are something like 2 calories for fat and 6 for muscle.

MACnificence

i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out

I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?

Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:

I opened up to my boyfriend a few weeks back big tear fest told him how I was feeling and we sat down talked he told me he feared I had some problem , then I promised him I'd up my calories the following Monday and I did but I've fell into old habits again he keeps asking and where's your calories now , are you still losing and I'm so embarrassed I've lied to him and told him I've increased calories and kept shut about any weight loss
I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone else , and now that I've been lying to my boyfriend I feel even worse because I tell him absolutely everything and never hold anything from him and if I tell him I've been lying for the last few weeks I don't know how he'll react ,

MACnificence

i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out

I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?

Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:

I opened up to my boyfriend a few weeks back big tear fest told him how I was feeling and we sat down talked he told me he feared I had some problem , then I promised him I'd up my calories the following Monday and I did but I've fell into old habits again he keeps asking and where's your calories now , are you still losing and I'm so embarrassed I've lied to him and told him I've increased calories and kept shut about any weight loss
I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone else , and now that I've been lying to my boyfriend I feel even worse because I tell him absolutely everything and never hold anything from him and if I tell him I've been lying for the last few weeks I don't know how he'll react ,

MACnificence

It sounds like you've got everything ready for putting some muscle on BUT the fuel to do the work and make use of that protein.

I would slowly increase your calories eaten until you see the scales consistently slwoly going up. Going up slowly should mean less if any fat is put on, though at the expense of not gaining muscle so quickly.

Think of it this way. Every pound of muscle that you put on in the gym burns FAR more calories than a pound of fat ever thought of!

About 4 calories - think that was a day. There's lots of different figures, but the accurate ones are something like 2 calories for fat and 6 for muscle.

It's funny you say that my boyfriend always says I'd be badass in the weights room if I ate enough
Gaining muscle I've no problem with , gaining fat equals mental block/fear
And unfortunately can't really have one without the other

SLLRunner

Ya im really struggling with this fear i have, i have tried several times to eat more and as i mentioned i do good for a day or 2 and then go back to restricting and cutting calories where i can again
my doctor expressed concern about my weight before and i was heavier then so im afraid to go see her again , she told me to focus on maintainance at that stage and considering ive lost weight since i feel like ive let her down
to be honest i dont feel like i can talk to a professional about it, ill clam up and more than likely just cry and not be able to tell them

its frustrating because I do want to be able to lift heavy , but this mental fear is prohibiting my progress i feel

and I 100% agree its not about the scale weight , I just wish i could drill that into my own head Im just petrified of ever being that overweight girl again

Based on what you say in this response and other responses, especially about your doctor's prior concern, I am saying again that you MUST speak with a professional. It really sounds like you have an eating disorder. Besides this, we are a bunch of internet strangers.

The only thing you have fear is fear itself.

hbinfinity

I was playing water polo for a while and lifting weights. I actually gained 10 lbs according to the scale, but my clothes fit really super loose! I had to buy smaller clothes! I gained a whole bunch of muscle and I looked pretty good at that time! Eat something and go pump some iron! EAT!

MACnificence

I don't think I have a eating disorder , disordered thinking ya possibly but I think eating disorder is abit extreme

Saying eat sounds relatively straight forward , I do eat I don't starve myself by any means just struggling to eat enough, it's so easy to say I say it to myself every god damn day , I think it's going to be different today but my mind plays games with me again and I have been failing to conquer my mind

Believe me when I say I would love to get the mental strength to conquer these demons but its hard and I am struggling I'm just trying to be real and tell ye all how I'm feeling
I could put on my rosé coloured specs and let on I'm the strong minded girl that I put myself across to be to everyone but at this moment I'm finding it hard to be that strong girl