Spinning my wheels
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I have a great tendency at persuading myself that there really isnt any problem, and chances are ill wake up tomorrow and will be back into , oh god im fine attitude
like im not even sure have i got an actual problem or what ?
i dont feel like im underweight or anything0 -
i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out
I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?
Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:0 -
It's not a completely irrational fear; I think everyone who has lost weight goes through it a least a little bit. If it's holding you back from improving though and controlling your thoughts, than yeah, it might be a problem.
I will tell you though...that I have been lifting since the summer. I have actually LOST weight. I started slowly, but just kept adding weights. I am down from a size 8 to a 4 in a few months. I didn't change my diet, other than increase my protein. I'm waaaaay stronger too.0 -
It sounds like you've got everything ready for putting some muscle on BUT the fuel to do the work and make use of that protein.
I would slowly increase your calories eaten until you see the scales consistently slwoly going up. Going up slowly should mean less if any fat is put on, though at the expense of not gaining muscle so quickly.
About 4 calories - think that was a day. There's lots of different figures, but the accurate ones are something like 2 calories for fat and 6 for muscle.Think of it this way. Every pound of muscle that you put on in the gym burns FAR more calories than a pound of fat ever thought of!0 -
i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out
I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?
Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:
I opened up to my boyfriend a few weeks back big tear fest told him how I was feeling and we sat down talked he told me he feared I had some problem , then I promised him I'd up my calories the following Monday and I did but I've fell into old habits again he keeps asking and where's your calories now , are you still losing and I'm so embarrassed I've lied to him and told him I've increased calories and kept shut about any weight loss
I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone else , and now that I've been lying to my boyfriend I feel even worse because I tell him absolutely everything and never hold anything from him and if I tell him I've been lying for the last few weeks I don't know how he'll react ,0 -
i mean people come to me if they need a reality check , this is why im so confused at my feelings now, i would have never imagined id feel this way
id absolutely hate for any of my family to find out
I play a similar role for others, but I had to learn that to hold myself to the unattainable standard of being everyone's rock--including my own--I end up damaging myself because I have nothing left to give to myself. You don't have to think that you must go it alone on this. It won't make you stronger in then end--but it may make you resentful, and that's not a good place to be either. Even if you aren't ready to talk to a professional right now---maybe baby steps and talk to someone you trust?
Hang in there. For what it's worth, I deal with some of these same things.:flowerforyou:
I opened up to my boyfriend a few weeks back big tear fest told him how I was feeling and we sat down talked he told me he feared I had some problem , then I promised him I'd up my calories the following Monday and I did but I've fell into old habits again he keeps asking and where's your calories now , are you still losing and I'm so embarrassed I've lied to him and told him I've increased calories and kept shut about any weight loss
I wouldn't feel comfortable telling anyone else , and now that I've been lying to my boyfriend I feel even worse because I tell him absolutely everything and never hold anything from him and if I tell him I've been lying for the last few weeks I don't know how he'll react ,0 -
It sounds like you've got everything ready for putting some muscle on BUT the fuel to do the work and make use of that protein.
I would slowly increase your calories eaten until you see the scales consistently slwoly going up. Going up slowly should mean less if any fat is put on, though at the expense of not gaining muscle so quickly.
About 4 calories - think that was a day. There's lots of different figures, but the accurate ones are something like 2 calories for fat and 6 for muscle.Think of it this way. Every pound of muscle that you put on in the gym burns FAR more calories than a pound of fat ever thought of!
It's funny you say that my boyfriend always says I'd be badass in the weights room if I ate enough
Gaining muscle I've no problem with , gaining fat equals mental block/fear
And unfortunately can't really have one without the other
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Based on what you say in this response and other responses, especially about your doctor's prior concern, I am saying again that you MUST speak with a professional. It really sounds like you have an eating disorder. Besides this, we are a bunch of internet strangers.Ya im really struggling with this fear i have, i have tried several times to eat more and as i mentioned i do good for a day or 2 and then go back to restricting and cutting calories where i can again
my doctor expressed concern about my weight before and i was heavier then so im afraid to go see her again , she told me to focus on maintainance at that stage and considering ive lost weight since i feel like ive let her down
to be honest i dont feel like i can talk to a professional about it, ill clam up and more than likely just cry and not be able to tell them
its frustrating because I do want to be able to lift heavy , but this mental fear is prohibiting my progress i feel
and I 100% agree its not about the scale weight , I just wish i could drill that into my own head Im just petrified of ever being that overweight girl again
The only thing you have fear is fear itself.0 -
I was playing water polo for a while and lifting weights. I actually gained 10 lbs according to the scale, but my clothes fit really super loose! I had to buy smaller clothes! I gained a whole bunch of muscle and I looked pretty good at that time! Eat something and go pump some iron! EAT!0
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I don't think I have a eating disorder , disordered thinking ya possibly but I think eating disorder is abit extreme
Saying eat sounds relatively straight forward , I do eat I don't starve myself by any means just struggling to eat enough, it's so easy to say I say it to myself every god damn day , I think it's going to be different today but my mind plays games with me again and I have been failing to conquer my mind
Believe me when I say I would love to get the mental strength to conquer these demons but its hard and I am struggling I'm just trying to be real and tell ye all how I'm feeling
I could put on my rosé coloured specs and let on I'm the strong minded girl that I put myself across to be to everyone but at this moment I'm finding it hard to be that strong girl0 -
I don't think I have a eating disorder , disordered thinking ya possibly but I think eating disorder is abit extreme
Saying eat sounds relatively straight forward , I do eat I don't starve myself by any means just struggling to eat enough, it's so easy to say I say it to myself every god damn day , I think it's going to be different today but my mind plays games with me again and I have been failing to conquer my mind
Believe me when I say I would love to get the mental strength to conquer these demons but its hard and I am struggling I'm just trying to be real and tell ye all how I'm feeling
I could put on my rosé coloured specs and let on I'm the strong minded girl that I put myself across to be to everyone but at this moment I'm finding it hard to be that strong girl
which is exactly why you should speak to someone who can help you with it all... you dont need to struggle on your own.0 -
Trying to build up the courage , I have a hard time saying to it to myself not to mind saying it out loud
The words almost choke me , I can't get my head around it
I know I can't possibly keep losing weight and I do fear where ill end up If I don't stop
I don't want to throw all my hard work out the window because of stupid irrational feelings0 -
Trying to build up the courage , I have a hard time saying to it to myself not to mind saying it out loud
The words almost choke me , I can't get my head around it
I know I can't possibly keep losing weight and I do fear where ill end up If I don't stop
I don't want to throw all my hard work out the window because of stupid irrational feelings
given that the doctor you have seen before has raised concerns, i am sure you wont need to say much to her for her to understand the problem.
maybe try looking at it another way, if one of your friends, or your boyfriend came to you and said the things you have posted to us, what would you say? what would your advice be?0 -
Oh I'd ***** slap some sense into them , haha no but seriously oh I completely know my thinking is bizarre and I swear I have days where I'm like Jesus get a grip and I feel like I have things in control and then I fall back into the same old pattern again
With seeing my doctor, she's really nice and almost motherly and I feel embarrassed saying it to her I know she's trained to deal with this but I can't help but feel embarrassed , I don't want to admit this is getting the better of me
I know it's a pathetic excuse but again I'm keeping it honest
I just feel like a shadow of the person I was at the moment , I feel weak , afraid and alone
I'm trying to get my mental strength to a place where I can push past these feelings and work towards my goals for the future
I just feel like this isn't me , I don't do things like this but unfortunately it is and I am0 -
It does sound like 'eating disorder' to me, I'm afraid.
Of course it's a scale and that doesn't mean you're at one end of it.
I suspect a majority of people on here are on here through some kind of 'eating disorder' - certainly I am, though eating too much - I will NEVER have trouble "not eating enough".
Have you tried eating more calorie dense foods, like sweets, icecream and so on.0 -
I actually have no problem physically eating more food , its mentally the struggle lays
I still have the cut calories where I can mindset0 -
I actually have no problem physically eating more food , its mentally the struggle lays
I still have the cut calories where I can mindset
Eating disorders are mental, not physical.
Again, please seek help.0 -
Ya that's what I'm trying to say I have no problem eating more food if I wanted to , but its a mental fear that is holding me back
I'm afraid to see someone , I'm afraid to admit I have a problem
Sometimes I think I don't have a problem
I still don't feel like I've a eating disorder but do have disordered thinking around food and exercise
Is it unreasonable to think I could get on top of this myself ? I just don't have the courage to see someone yet I feel
I'm still unsure how big of a problem this is ..
My head is doing cartwheels0 -
Is it unreasonable to think I could get on top of this myself ?
Yes.
You need help.0 -
Ya that's what I'm trying to say I have no problem eating more food if I wanted to , but its a mental fear that is holding me back
I'm afraid to see someone , I'm afraid to admit I have a problem
Sometimes I think I don't have a problem
I still don't feel like I've a eating disorder but do have disordered thinking around food and exercise
Is it unreasonable to think I could get on top of this myself ? I just don't have the courage to see someone yet I feel
I'm still unsure how big of a problem this is ..
My head is doing cartwheels
You need to address it, that is for sure
It is prolly gonna get worse if you don't0
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