tattoo argument with spouse

tattygun

Lol @ life changing! Nope, you get one and life carries on as usual.

DamePiglet

Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
Really I only had 3 beers lol.

This is what I would do to keep the peace:
I'd tell him something like, "I will take a x amount of time (for example, 2 months) to think it over and make sure it's what I want. If it is, then I would like you to be supportive." And see what he says to that. I would hope then that he would feel like you're respecting what he has to say, but still asserting what you want.

But that's just me.

Edited for the 'but'

LishieFruit89

Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?

It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
And does not need his permission or approval.
He can step off.

so if he wanted those darn dangerous motor bikes she would have no say in it, right?

I like motorcycles.
So he can get one if he wants.

My ex had a Harley.
I told him no on getting a second bike solely because he had no money to pay for it.
And was already in debt from the first one

TavistockToad

your husband isnt a fan of tattoos then??

is it just that or does he dislike the actual design/placement??

but at the end of the day, its your body, your decision!

Nerdybookgirl

I think maybe you should show him online the difference between a crappy tattoo and and nice tattoo. Make sure you check out your shop and let him look at some of the portfolios. Please be sure you invest the money in a quality tattoo. a $250 tattoo is far superior to a $50! That may ease his mind. He may just be concerned because he only has knowledge of tattoo stereotypes. BTW -- My husband is a tattoo artist and I have 9 very large, beautiful tattoos.

HDHogger

Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
Really I only had 3 beers lol.

.Not judging people who get tats.

defiling the body? eh? not judging......come on, if you going to throw bibles at it atleast be honest as well.

I was totally honest. I don't think more or less of people who get tats. A form of defiling the body is what tats do in my opinion. Throw Bibles? I'm in no way a Bible thumper and by you accusing me of throwing bibles I feel you have just judged me!!

where did I state that I HAD a problem judging people.

I don't..

I'm not sure I see the point you are trying to make?

Oldtimer_65

Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

Or just break up and get a guy that respects you and your decisions?

Just sayin.

MrsG31

Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
Really I only had 3 beers lol.

Does your husband have any? Has he ever voiced an opinion of disliking then in the past? If he hasn't, it may be just that he is used to and loves the way that you are now and is nervous about a permanent change like that. Maybe he is nervous this will mean you are becoming "too cool" for him and could lead to other things. My husband has 8 tattoos and I have none. He only had 1 when we started dating. I can say from my experience that I was apprehensive too. At one point he wanted this huge back piece and I didn't like the idea. I know it is not my body, but I was attracted to him as he was, with broad, tan shoulders and wasn't sure he should be messing with what he was blessed with, lol. But in the end, he got something else and I still found him attractive. And there are plenty of guys with more tats that I find extremely sexy. (David Beckham anyone?) I guess I just was nervous about how much it would change his look. But in the end, none of it mattered. I don't love all his tattoos, but I still love him.

Maybe if he helps you pick the what and place, he won't feel so apprehensive? Definitely put some thought into it and have an honest & open conversion about it.

And while I don't know if I would say they are "life changing".....I will say that *most* people I know never stop at one! In fact, most people I have spoken to couldn't wait to get their next one soon after they got their first.

Aside: The reason I have none is that I am too in-decisive about it. Where? What? What if I change my mind after it is already there? It is not like I can wash it off! LOL Nope, I'll stick with dyeing my hair once in awhile and changable-jewelry.

licorice_tea

Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

I don't even have a witty comeback here. This is really just shockingly offensive.

jenbk2

Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

Please tell me this is a joke? Listen to your husband??? So what if her husband beats her and tells her it is for her own good. Ahhh but listen to your husband because he is always right.

Do you sleep in seperate beds?

devilwhiterose

Well... Is it possible that you misinterpreted what he was trying to say? If you work as a professional, and want a tattoo on your wrist, maybe he was trying to point out that it can have a negative affect on your career.

Or, maybe that was something you discussed years prior that set your foundation. The way some people are passionate about wanting/not wanting kids...maybe he had a similar opinion about tattoos?

Arulfr

I think it's a form of self-expression! I started getting tattoos when I was 18 and my first was on my upper left thigh. I spent months researching good artists and yet when it came to the day, I went to the first artist I could find. On the lucky side, he wasn't a bad artist, his work was good, but as the months progressed I couldn't help wishing it was better. So I went to a very reputable, albeit expensive parlour. They spent a long time talking with me about how they could assist, and they have touched up the tatt brilliantly.
I had my second tattoo done by the first artist again and this time, I wasn't so lucky. I hated it as I rushed into it without thinking about the design.
I spent a year getting laser tattoo removal which in the long run, was expensive but I now have a full back piece by the reputable parlour and it is gorgeous.
I've also both of my feet tattooed by them and I've yet to feel any resentment.

Occasionally you will feel some stigma about them but I think that's a by-product of today's society and the worries about tattoos.
My advice: Do lots of research, make sure you will love the design, find a phenomenal tattooist and be very considerate about where the tattoo will be. Can you hide it if you need to?
And remember that 'a cheap tattoo 'aint good and a good tattoo 'aint cheap'!

Always_Smiling_D

I got a lil confused on this - child / tattoo comparison hmmm.

A tattoo is not life altering at all, unless you are wanting to get it in a place where everyone can see it at all times and it is something that your husband believes will call negative attention. I have 5 of them and other than being a bit uncomfortable right after getting them nothing else changed. 2 of them noone can see unless I am in shorts or bikini, 1 of them it is only for my eyes and significant other's eyes, and the other 2 are on my wrist which of course awakens the curiosity of other people as to what they say...

My suggestion is, find out why he isn't really in to you getting the ink. Make sure that you are getting the ink because it has significance to you and not just to get ink. Once you have those 2 things figure out, then sit down and communicate... it is indeed your body and well you should be able to do as you please, however perhaps he is seeing something that you under the excitement of wanting people to be shocked at the fact you got ink'd are missing.

wolfsbayne

I love body-defilement! Sign me up for more. Getting my next on Saturday, actually. All mine are in hidden locations, due to work, but I love them anyway. My husband wasn't a fan of me having tattoos, even though he has three himself. I just figure, my body, my choice. No regrets, and I've had my first one since I was 17.

I've seen so many say Tats are hot and in the same sentence they are hidden for work or just hidden. I don't know why work would be a reason to hide a tat if it's an accepted form of art.

I have a tat on my wrist and I don't keep it covered. I work in an office. I also have one on my ankle that's visible if I wear capris. No one has said anything to me about my tats. Those who choose to get some that are covered up are doing so because they understand that not everyone feels the same about tattoos. That being said, I have tattoos in other places that can be hidden depending on what I wear. When I got my tattoos, they were not for other people to see, but for me and me alone.

DeltaZero

Maaike84

I almost cried when my boyfriend said he wanted to get a tattoo, not gonna lie, I'm not exactly a fan. But I also told him it was his decision, and please pick something nice. I do feel somehow like I got something of a say, or at least a consultation right, b/c I would have to look at it, but in the end it's his body. To this day, he hasn't gotten one

I think if it's something you really want to do and is meaningful, tattoos can be beautiful and very personal. So i can see how your husbands reaction could be hurtful. But I would try and talk it out - perhaps he is just worried about your motivation or afraid you will regret it. A lot of anger is usually rooted in fear.

somefitsomefat

I have two tattoos. Neither changed my life. Silly arguement.

saradord

Personally I think the majority of Tattoos are pretty Ugly. There are very few that are in reality good pieces of Artwork. As with all things its personal choice but 40 years down the road when the Tattoo has bled a little and your skin has changed with age the reason you got that unrecognisable blob will escape you. I have met a lot of people through both work and personally that have regretted their tattoos and yes I know people that love them as well.

Tattoos are really no longer shocking so if thats the reason you want one I'd forget it. If you want to shock people why not run naked through the streets. It's less permanent and you'll only have to pay the fine for public indecency.

I'm sure i dont get tattoos to shock people , mIne are memories that I cant take a picture of that I can view for ever, and everyones skin is gonnna sag and be ugly mine will just be colourful and saggy!!!

SonicDeathMonkey80

So long as you aren't getting Looney Tunes, a Disney character, or a band name, get it done.

westendcurls

Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
Really I only had 3 beers lol.

I'm of course older than most people on here and have a different view on tats probably because they were unheard of from my generation. People my age with tats usually were "Bikers" and they were basically considered to be a low form of life. I hae a bike but I'm not a "Biker" as far as that definition goes.
Tats aren't art as far as I'm concerned and It take a certain person to wear one. They are a form of defiling the body. Having ink injected into your skin is permanent unless you get surgery and after surgery there is still an are where the tat was the doesn't look like natural skin. Not judging people who get tats. Be very sure you know what you want and know where you want it put. That's just my opinion.

Art is subjective to some I suppose. But I prefer the simplest definition of art. Does it evoke emotion? Yes. then it's art.

I'm not religious so im not worried about defiling my body and I've met meany a biker I consider to be a fine upstanding person.
I would have gotten a tattoo years ago only my tattoo artist cousin (and believe me he was very much an artist!) Passed away. I always said he would be the first to give me a tattoo. Its taken sone time for me to get past it not being his hand. The tattoo I want is huge. From my ribs to mid thigh. Easily coverd or shown & big enough to fit my go big or go home mentality. A gypsy for my sister, a wolf-head dress on the gypsy for my mother, the birthflowers of my children & a raven for myself. I know what and where. I only hesitate because I don't know by who. And because I'm putting personal meaning into a very traditional tattoo... I want to make sure it is my own and not flash. The argument was because I said I will also enjoy shocking a few people who like to put me in a certain box.