tattoo argument with spouse
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Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.
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I have quite a lot of tattoo's.... sat here in my office in my suit.... no one would ever know!! (latest couple of tatt pics in my photo!)
My husband isn't mad on tattoo's, he would never have one himself. But he realises that mine are part of me. Some mean something personal to me, some are just because I like the art!
I could never be with a man who tried to tell me what to, and what not, to do with my body.
Having said all that...... if he really really hated them I would at least try and compromise. Or I'd at least think really hard before having it done.0 -
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I got one across the top of my wrist for my 40th birthday and I love it seven years later (and can't wait to get the next one). My husband was furious and my parents weren't thrilled, but they got over it when they saw it. I got it where I can cover it with a watch if I need to for work purposes on the occassions where I'm in a more professional environment. Otherwise I display it proudly. I didn't even tell my husband I was doing it because it really wasn't his choice; I did it for ME.0
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I'm covered in tattoos. My husband hates them with a passion but he said if it made me happy then it was my choice. If he hadn't, I believe I would've still gone ahead and had them....he does things I don't agree with, but I don't argue with him about it. Each to our own.0
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I love tattoos.0
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Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.
Dam-it, I've been doing it all wrong. This must be why I'm not married yet. I should start listening to my BF more. I shall try that and I will update with my engagement.....Just kidding I'd rather be single and think for myself.0 -
This is a classic case of people who are uncomfortable with an idea trying to make everyone else conform. You should ask him what type of person he thinks you will become if you get a tattoo. Does he trust you to choose something tasteful? Why/why not? Does he think you are aware of the pros & cons? Or does he think it's a blind impulse?
For people who reference "their day" and how tattoos were taboo.. well so was dying your hair or showing your ankles or cutting your beard at some point!0 -
This is a classic case of people who are uncomfortable with an idea trying to make everyone else conform. You should ask him what type of person he thinks you will become if you get a tattoo. Does he trust you to choose something tasteful? Why/why not? Does he think you are aware of the pros & cons? Or does he think it's a blind impulse?
For people who reference "their day" and how tattoos were taboo.. well so was dying your hair or showing your ankles or cutting your beard at some point!
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Seems like you missed several posts from women who weren't foaming about anything.
Generalization, much?
I...um...didn't think I had to comment specifically on what every single poster said.? Yes, I made a generalization. Which was generally accurate.
I'm sorry, did I need to include percentage numbers and statistics or something?
No. "Most" or "many" would have sufficed.
"Generally accurate"? I'm not sure that's a thing.0 -
Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.
Let me get back in the kitchen where I belong, barefoot. :noway:
Well, if you're going to be in there barefoot, remember to be pregnant with a baby also on the hip. And make him a samich already.0 -
Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.
I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?
It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
And does not need his permission or approval.
He can step off.
Not that I believe that she should get her hubby's permission but I love how the women are ripping this comment, even though I'm sure they love the phrase, "happy wife, happy life". Chill out people, it's just that guys opinion on the matter.
I noticed that too. I also thought this was interesting. While the ladies are foaming with anger at the idea that any man would dare feel he could tell them what to do with their bodies, this comment...almost cried when my boyfriend said he wanted to get a tattoo, not gonna lie, I'm not exactly a fan. But I also told him it was his decision, and please pick something nice. I do feel somehow like I get something of a say, or at least a consultation right, b/c I would have to look at it, but in the end it's his body. To this day, he hasn't gotten one
A woman admitting she feels she should have at least partial say over what her husband does with his body gets a complete pass.
Weird. It's almost like some kind of hypocritical double standard or something. Hunh.
He could tell her what to do/She feels she should get a say.. it's no double standard. It's two different situations. But your mature comment about your male opinion compared to your obvious mockery of the female opinion. That is a double standard.0 -
I have two. My husband doesn't like a lot of tattoos, so I made sure the two I have are ones that mean a lot to me, because I won't get anymore. It mean more to me that he be happy with my body than that I get some ink that doesn't really mean much to me.0
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Tattoos are just trashy!!!!
Seriously though why are we listening to old peoples opinions of tattoos!? Why are those people relevant!?0 -
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
So... What do you have in mind for this shocking tattoo that is honest and that people won't see coming?
I have one. Love it. Want another.0 -
While it may be best to come to these types of decisions together in a marriage, realistically, in some cases compromise cannot be reached.
In other situations, one person gets their way and the other doesn't, but they have to agree to live with those decisions and not bring them up later when conlict arises.
And, lastly, some things are deal breakers. You have to have the wisom to recognise which category this situation falls under.
Having said all that, my wife has no tattoos and she is not ever going to get one. Period.0 -
Firstly, comparing getting a tattoo to having a child is moronic.
Second, why does he have to be supportive?
He loves your body the way it looks and is telling you so. If my girlfriend decided to "self-express" a bunch of ink down the side of her as*, I don't need to be supportive of the decision if I'm not attracted to that sort of "art" do I?
You should be happy he's being up-front with you about how he feels about it.
I am not saying don't do it. It's your body, but he's being up front with you that it'll affect his perception of you. You can take that into account or not - also your choice. Thinking he'll get used to it, or that he'll learn to love it is wishful thinking.
Perfect way to look at it ^^. If you think he is being judgemental by telling you not to get one, perhaps you are being just as judgemental by being angry at him for telling you how he feels about it. If you don't care what your husband thinks about your body, then take everyone's advice who has effectively said "you go girl!"
As far as your comparison to changing your body to have children... are you saying that's a decision you regret?0 -
I'm not a tattoo fan.
My thought is, talk with him, take his opinions into consideration. You said Husband so it's not like you can just "break up" with him (as some have suggested). Listen to his concerns and his thoughts, and try to involve him if it's that important to you.
I'm married and neither of us have tattoos. If she wanted to get one I wouldn't be happy about it but I would be OK with it (depending on size, cost, location and what it was). Something discrete and personal I'd be ok with as long as she can cover it. If she wanted a Mike Tyson face tattoo, I would have some serious objections. It would be her decision but she would also have to realize the consequences of it (I wouldn't want to look at her if she had a Mike Tyson face tattoo).0 -
I've seen so many say Tats are hot and in the same sentence they are hidden for work or just hidden. I don't know why work would be a reason to hide a tat if it's an accepted form of art.I love body-defilement! Sign me up for more. Getting my next on Saturday, actually. All mine are in hidden locations, due to work, but I love them anyway. My husband wasn't a fan of me having tattoos, even though he has three himself. I just figure, my body, my choice. No regrets, and I've had my first one since I was 17.
Because some people in upper management have your mentality and say you can have them but they must be covered up. Just like you may not have any piercings other than a maximum of two in your ears for females and none for males. It's a dress code and if you don't like it, you don't have to work there.0 -
I have two. Love them both and have never regretted them.0
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Firstly, comparing getting a tattoo to having a child is moronic.
Second, why does he have to be supportive?
He loves your body the way it looks and is telling you so. If my girlfriend decided to "self-express" a bunch of ink down the side of her as*, I don't need to be supportive of the decision if I'm not attracted to that sort of "art" do I?
You should be happy he's being up-front with you about how he feels about it.
I am not saying don't do it. It's your body, but he's being up front with you that it'll affect his perception of you. You can take that into account or not - also your choice. Thinking he'll get used to it, or that he'll learn to love it is wishful thinking.
1, that's why I laughed about having said such a silly thing after only 3 beers.
2, he is fine with me getting a tattoo. He was only upset that I'll enjoy shocking a few people.
I'd get the tattoo with or without shocking anyone but I'm shy people tend to assume a lot of things about me. So I enjoy being able to not fit neatly into boxes. I really don't understand why that's such a horrible thing.0 -
Um ...2, he is fine with me getting a tattoo. He was only upset that I'll enjoy shocking a few people.
I don't even know what to say to this.0 -
OK here it is... that has nothing to do with a tattoo - this has to do with lack of communication...0
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Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
Really I only had 3 beers lol.
Perhaps you need to rethink your ability to communicate with one another. This doesn't seem to be about a tattoo. At all. Getting a tattoo is merely a form of personal expression. Having a child has nothing to do with altering your body for personal expression.
and if you are getting a tattoo for shock value, you aren't getting it for you.0 -
Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.
I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?
It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
And does not need his permission or approval.
He can step off.
Not that I believe that she should get her hubby's permission but I love how the women are ripping this comment, even though I'm sure they love the phrase, "happy wife, happy life". Chill out people, it's just that guys opinion on the matter.
I noticed that too. I also thought this was interesting. While the ladies are foaming with anger at the idea that any man would dare feel he could tell them what to do with their bodies, this comment...almost cried when my boyfriend said he wanted to get a tattoo, not gonna lie, I'm not exactly a fan. But I also told him it was his decision, and please pick something nice. I do feel somehow like I get something of a say, or at least a consultation right, b/c I would have to look at it, but in the end it's his body. To this day, he hasn't gotten one
A woman admitting she feels she should have at least partial say over what her husband does with his body gets a complete pass.
Weird. It's almost like some kind of hypocritical double standard or something. Hunh.
Seems like you missed several posts from women who weren't foaming about anything.
Generalization, much?
I'm rationally completely aware that it was my boyfriend's decision, and his body. Emotionally, I couldn't help feeling another way.... Sure, you can call me a hypocrite, and I'll still love him and support him if he decides to get one. I just wouldn't love it, not gonna lie. So I do get why as a partner, you'd feel like your opinion should be taken into consideration, is all I was trying to say0 -
I had a similar argument with my wife. She wanted to get a tattoo on her foot. Personally, I don't find tattoos on the feet that attractive so I had explained that to her. I said that she can get one any other place, but the feet were a no-no. I didn't think it was an unreasonable request.0
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I'm of course older than most people on here and have a different view on tats probably because they were unheard of from my generation. People my age with tats usually were "Bikers" and they were basically considered to be a low form of life. I hae a bike but I'm not a "Biker" as far as that definition goes.
Tats aren't art as far as I'm concerned and It take a certain person to wear one. They are a form of defiling the body. Having ink injected into your skin is permanent unless you get surgery and after surgery there is still an are where the tat was the doesn't look like natural skin. Not judging people who get tats. Be very sure you know what you want and know where you want it put. That's just my opinion.
For the record, your "not judging" is very judgemental. I am a professional with 9 tattoos and several more in the wings. What "certain person" am I to wear one??
And if churches can have stained glass windows, why can the human temple have some too?
OP: Get what YOU want, it's YOUR body.0 -
it's 2014, if you want a tattoo then go get one!
My fiancé isn't big on tattoos, so he doesn't get tattoos. I have 3 and I'll probably get more. I don't think they are life changing at all.
However, if you are simply getting a tattoo to shock people, I don't know if it is your best plan. A tattoo should be something for you, not for other people. Also tattoos are very common these days so the shock value has decreased.0 -
While he should feel like you value his feelings and opinions, at the end of the day it is your body.0
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I got one for my 50th birthday. I wanted it for me. didn't change my life, doesn't make me want to have another. you can see it when I wear a bathing suit. I went sky-diving, got a tattoo and I have forgotten about it (it's not big) unless I walk in front of a mirror in my underwear. husband didn't have a problem with it, he got one too. mine? a golden retriever (duh) on my left side (I walk them on my left) underneath the pantie line. if you're sure about what it's going to be, just do it.0
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