tattoo argument with spouse

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  • westendcurls
    westendcurls Posts: 252 Member
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    Firstly, comparing getting a tattoo to having a child is moronic.

    Second, why does he have to be supportive?

    He loves your body the way it looks and is telling you so. If my girlfriend decided to "self-express" a bunch of ink down the side of her as*, I don't need to be supportive of the decision if I'm not attracted to that sort of "art" do I?

    You should be happy he's being up-front with you about how he feels about it.

    I am not saying don't do it. It's your body, but he's being up front with you that it'll affect his perception of you. You can take that into account or not - also your choice. Thinking he'll get used to it, or that he'll learn to love it is wishful thinking.

    1, that's why I laughed about having said such a silly thing after only 3 beers.

    2, he is fine with me getting a tattoo. He was only upset that I'll enjoy shocking a few people.

    I'd get the tattoo with or without shocking anyone but I'm shy people tend to assume a lot of things about me. So I enjoy being able to not fit neatly into boxes. I really don't understand why that's such a horrible thing.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    2, he is fine with me getting a tattoo. He was only upset that I'll enjoy shocking a few people.
    Um ...

    I don't even know what to say to this.
  • Always_Smiling_D
    Always_Smiling_D Posts: 118 Member
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    OK here it is... that has nothing to do with a tattoo - this has to do with lack of communication...
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.

    Perhaps you need to rethink your ability to communicate with one another. This doesn't seem to be about a tattoo. At all. Getting a tattoo is merely a form of personal expression. Having a child has nothing to do with altering your body for personal expression.

    and if you are getting a tattoo for shock value, you aren't getting it for you.
  • Maaike84
    Maaike84 Posts: 211 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    I'm sorry but are you kidding me!?

    It's her freaking body. She can get a tattoo if she wants it.
    And does not need his permission or approval.
    He can step off.

    Not that I believe that she should get her hubby's permission but I love how the women are ripping this comment, even though I'm sure they love the phrase, "happy wife, happy life". Chill out people, it's just that guys opinion on the matter.

    I noticed that too. I also thought this was interesting. While the ladies are foaming with anger at the idea that any man would dare feel he could tell them what to do with their bodies, this comment...
    almost cried when my boyfriend said he wanted to get a tattoo, not gonna lie, I'm not exactly a fan. But I also told him it was his decision, and please pick something nice. I do feel somehow like I get something of a say, or at least a consultation right, b/c I would have to look at it, but in the end it's his body. To this day, he hasn't gotten one :)

    A woman admitting she feels she should have at least partial say over what her husband does with his body gets a complete pass.

    Weird. It's almost like some kind of hypocritical double standard or something. Hunh.

    Seems like you missed several posts from women who weren't foaming about anything.
    Generalization, much?

    I'm rationally completely aware that it was my boyfriend's decision, and his body. Emotionally, I couldn't help feeling another way.... Sure, you can call me a hypocrite, and I'll still love him and support him if he decides to get one. I just wouldn't love it, not gonna lie. So I do get why as a partner, you'd feel like your opinion should be taken into consideration, is all I was trying to say
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    I had a similar argument with my wife. She wanted to get a tattoo on her foot. Personally, I don't find tattoos on the feet that attractive so I had explained that to her. I said that she can get one any other place, but the feet were a no-no. I didn't think it was an unreasonable request.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    I'm of course older than most people on here and have a different view on tats probably because they were unheard of from my generation. People my age with tats usually were "Bikers" and they were basically considered to be a low form of life. I hae a bike but I'm not a "Biker" as far as that definition goes.
    Tats aren't art as far as I'm concerned and It take a certain person to wear one. They are a form of defiling the body. Having ink injected into your skin is permanent unless you get surgery and after surgery there is still an are where the tat was the doesn't look like natural skin. Not judging people who get tats. Be very sure you know what you want and know where you want it put. That's just my opinion.

    For the record, your "not judging" is very judgemental. I am a professional with 9 tattoos and several more in the wings. What "certain person" am I to wear one??

    And if churches can have stained glass windows, why can the human temple have some too?

    OP: Get what YOU want, it's YOUR body.
  • Erikalynne18
    Erikalynne18 Posts: 555 Member
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    it's 2014, if you want a tattoo then go get one! :)

    My fiancé isn't big on tattoos, so he doesn't get tattoos. I have 3 and I'll probably get more. I don't think they are life changing at all.

    However, if you are simply getting a tattoo to shock people, I don't know if it is your best plan. A tattoo should be something for you, not for other people. Also tattoos are very common these days so the shock value has decreased.
  • punkypenny
    punkypenny Posts: 99 Member
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    While he should feel like you value his feelings and opinions, at the end of the day it is your body.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,553 Member
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    I got one for my 50th birthday. I wanted it for me. didn't change my life, doesn't make me want to have another. you can see it when I wear a bathing suit. I went sky-diving, got a tattoo and I have forgotten about it (it's not big) unless I walk in front of a mirror in my underwear. husband didn't have a problem with it, he got one too. mine? a golden retriever (duh) on my left side (I walk them on my left) underneath the pantie line. if you're sure about what it's going to be, just do it.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    If your husband is seriously against. try and consider his side. It may make the communication about your desire to have a tattoo, go a little better.
  • KHalseth
    KHalseth Posts: 104 Member
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    I like ink. I have two and want more. Waiting to lose weight since they would be in areas that would be affected by body shape change. I have one on my shoulder and I don't say it is hidden from work because we can wear sleeveless blouses and I don't keep my jacket on all day. People are always surprised. They don't think I'm the tattoo type. I did wait until I was in my 30's to start getting ink done. I wanted to wait until I had a really good idea of who I was and what I really wanted rather than getting ink when I was younger and that I might end up growing out of and regreting. As a result, I'm really happy with what I have and what I want to get still. My only rule is no names. Names of children or relatives who have passed on are okay. But never names of boyfriends or spouses. Nothing that would need to be covered or removed when things went south.
  • DuckDynastyMakesMeLaugh
    DuckDynastyMakesMeLaugh Posts: 363 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.

    Perhaps you need to rethink your ability to communicate with one another. This doesn't seem to be about a tattoo. At all. Getting a tattoo is merely a form of personal expression. Having a child has nothing to do with altering your body for personal expression.

    and if you are getting a tattoo for shock value, you aren't getting it for you.

    ^^this and make up sex.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Um, what? It's HER body, not his. She has every right to get a tattoo, piercing, or surgically enhance any body part and she doesn't need her husband to grant his permission. This isn't the 50s.
  • headofphat
    headofphat Posts: 1,599 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Um, what? It's HER body, not his. She has every right to get a tattoo, piercing, or surgically enhance any body part and she doesn't need her husband to grant his permission. This isn't the 50s.

    Replies like this are either remarkably ignorant or an indictment on how people view marriage these days. Either way, it's sad :-(
  • bigbootycutey
    bigbootycutey Posts: 20 Member
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    get a tatt of hubbys name everyone wins
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Um, what? It's HER body, not his. She has every right to get a tattoo, piercing, or surgically enhance any body part and she doesn't need her husband to grant his permission. This isn't the 50s.

    Replies like this are either remarkably ignorant or an indictment on how people view marriage these days. Either way, it's sad :-(

    Really.....well the same goes for the husband. If he wants to do something with his body, that's his right too. Sure, there should be a discussion, but at the end of the day our bodies are our own and we have the right to what we wish with them. Marriage isn't about owning the other person and telling them what they can and can't do with their bodies. If that's what you think marriage is about, then THAT is sad.
  • tattygun
    tattygun Posts: 447 Member
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    Tattoos are just trash!!!!


    Seriously though why are we listening to old peoples opinions of tattoos!? Why are those people relevant!?

    Hahaha yes! THIS!

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