tattoo argument with spouse

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  • turtledove773
    turtledove773 Posts: 122 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.

    Does he not find tattoos attractive? My best friends hubs doesn't want her to get any because he simply doesn't find them attractive at all.

    Looking at me, I am not your typical tat person either and most people who find out I have them don't believe me! Mine are in spots that no one will see unless I WANT them to. # 3 is being done next weekend! Happy Valentines Day to me! just make sure what you get has meaning to YOU and is not just something you think is cute at the time.. Those are the ones most people regret.. the in the moment ones!

    Good luck!
  • turtledove773
    turtledove773 Posts: 122 Member
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    get a tatt of hubbys name everyone wins
    [/quote

    That one was my first!! We are divorced now so yeah not my smartest move! Definitely don't recommend that, but going for something with the kids would be a good first one..
  • sarahc142
    sarahc142 Posts: 156
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    get a tatt of hubbys name everyone wins
    never do that unless its your kids

    Or your dog! Dog's are angels
  • liannexxx
    liannexxx Posts: 201 Member
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    I have a half sleeve at the moment and going to get my arm finished over the next couple of years! Be careful that this isn't just to shock people as that novelty will wear off.....and quickly haha! As long as you think you will still like the design in 50 years what's the harm in showing off art work on your body :-) tattoos make life that little bit more exciting haha ;-) x
  • westendcurls
    westendcurls Posts: 252 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.

    Perhaps you need to rethink your ability to communicate with one another. This doesn't seem to be about a tattoo. At all. Getting a tattoo is merely a form of personal expression. Having a child has nothing to do with altering your body for personal expression.

    and if you are getting a tattoo for shock value, you aren't getting it for you.

    ^^this and make up sex.

    Lol. well Drunk people rarely communicate well. And of course childbirth and tattoos are not even close to the same thing. Which again is why I laughed at myself for having made such a ridiculous comparison after a mear 3 beers.

    This was essentially his argument. If its for shock its not for me. My argument was I'd do it with or without shocking anyone but I'm not going to deny enjoying shaking things up for a few people.
    That doesn't mean I'm not doing it for me though.
  • emartin17
    emartin17 Posts: 123 Member
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    If the tattoo doesn't cause a huge rift in your life, get one.
    If you have been thinking about it for months, get one.
    If you feel it makes you feel better as a person/ makes you more beautiful in your eyes, get one.
    If it will not cause you to lose your job, get one.
    If you can still move your body the same way after the process is done, do it.

    The only reasons you should not get one is if you care what other people think, and if you are getting anything fad like.
  • PennyM140
    PennyM140 Posts: 423 Member
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    I had this argument with my husband one time as well. I wanted a tattoo and he didn't want me to get one. He doesn't like them and thinks they look "trashy" on women.
    I argued with him that night only and it's never been brought up again. Why? Because it is more important to him than it is to me. That is truly the ONLY thing he has ever asked me not to do. So I decided instead of making a big deal about it I would respect his opinion.

    If it's really that important to you, it's your body, go for it. If it's just something to argue about, think about letting it go and making him happy.
  • nutellabrah
    nutellabrah Posts: 543
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    This woman destroyed you all with one phrase. ^^^

    lol checkmate.
  • Maaike84
    Maaike84 Posts: 211 Member
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    I'm rationally completely aware that it was my boyfriend's decision, and his body. Emotionally, I couldn't help feeling another way.... Sure, you can call me a hypocrite, and I'll still love him and support him if he decides to get one. I just wouldn't love it, not gonna lie. So I do get why as a partner, you'd feel like your opinion should be taken into consideration, is all I was trying to say

    I don't think you're a hypocrite at all, I wasn't pointing you out in that way. That's how you feel, cool. I hope things are great in your relationship.

    What I thought was funny is that while people were lining up to say "No man has the right to tell you what to do with your body!! Get the tattoos and leave your husband!" no one said anything about your comment, which was essentially the same thing the OP is dealing with, except for a reversal of gender roles. That's what I found hypocritical.

    That's it.

    I think the outrage was rather prompted by the woman saying "listen to your husband" than the OP. But thanks for clearing that up. ETA for typos
  • RyanJK85
    RyanJK85 Posts: 580 Member
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    My opinion...may not be the best...

    Its your body, you have the right to do what you want with it...have fun, get the tattoo. None should tell you what you can and cant do. You are your own person.
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Um, what? It's HER body, not his. She has every right to get a tattoo, piercing, or surgically enhance any body part and she doesn't need her husband to grant his permission. This isn't the 50s.

    Replies like this are either remarkably ignorant or an indictment on how people view marriage these days. Either way, it's sad :-(

    I agree with this, if I'm honest.

    If I wanted a tattoo, I completely agree that it is ultimately my body and my decision, but at the same time I respect my partners opinion (within reason) and I wouldn’t want to get anything that would upset him, as he has to live with it too, in a way. He though, shouldn’t be insisting that you don’t have one, or making it a deal-breaker – unless you were planning to get ‘I love Justin Beiber’ tattooed across your face.

    This is all about compromise at the end of the day. Your comment about ‘shocking people’ leads me to believe that this tattoo either isn’t very socially acceptable and/or is perhaps quite large and obvious – which is fine, if you both like that sort of thing! Perhaps you should have a re-think about what you are getting, because really, I see little point in getting a tattoo and upsetting your husband for the purpose of ‘shocking people’. That’s very childish. Perhaps you could look together and find something you both like? Again, compromise.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    I had this argument with my husband one time as well. I wanted a tattoo and he didn't want me to get one. He doesn't like them and thinks they look "trashy" on women.
    I argued with him that night only and it's never been brought up again. Why? Because it is more important to him than it is to me. That is truly the ONLY thing he has ever asked me not to do. So I decided instead of making a big deal about it I would respect his opinion.

    If it's really that important to you, it's your body, go for it. If it's just something to argue about, think about letting it go and making him happy.

    I very much agree with this. If your husband does not have a history of being against anything and everything you want to do, what would it hurt to consider his feelings this one time?
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Uuugg. fighting with the husband over as yet non-existent tattoo = really dumb argument!!!
    So what if I'm honest and like the fact 90% of the people I know won't see my tattoo coming. I'm still getting it for me. It Doesn't mean I can't enjoy just a little shock value...right?
    He said its a life changing thing. I can't possibly know what its like. That set me off! Oh really!?! like, altering my body beyond recognition to have a child??? that kind of life altering thing??? Lets see...Choosing a piece of art versus my body conforming to accommodate a child... yep I'll take the 100% my choice art work thanks.
    Really I only had 3 beers lol.

    Sounds a bit dramatic on both sides. Also to many people get tattoos because they think it's bad *kitten* not because they like them, that is why 90% of guys get them on their forearms first, and women are getting them on their collar bone, or upper back. Then it usually turns into the addiction the rest of us have with them. So it all comes down to that it's your body so do what you want with it.
  • Deipneus
    Deipneus Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Tattoos are just trash!!!!


    Seriously though why are we listening to old peoples opinions of tattoos!? Why are those people relevant!?

    Hahaha yes! THIS!
    You shouldn't. I'm just smiling.

    When I was younger, I thought shoulder length hair was cool. Fortunately, when styles changed, I didn't have to go to a long hair removal studio to change it. This time I'm sure it will be different. Whatever tattoo you get at 20 or 30, you will surely like when you are 40 or 50. Some things are just timeless.
  • Beastmaster50
    Beastmaster50 Posts: 505 Member
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    I love the hypocrisy of some in here. If the husband wanted one and the wife said no, he better not get one or it will be WW3 for the next 6 months.
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
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    I love the hypocrisy of some in here. If the husband wanted one and the wife said no, he better not get one or it will be WW3 for the next 6 months.

    No hypocrisy here! If my husband wants to alter his body in some way, I'm not going to try to stop him. His body, his choice.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    women are getting them on their collar bone, or upper back.

    If I got one it would be on my upper back, center. Mostly because of all the tattoos I've ever seen on women in various places, that seems the most feminine and pretty to me.

    And I'm 37 and don't have any tattoos yet.
  • Soufre
    Soufre Posts: 236 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Shut. Up.
  • MooMooooo
    MooMooooo Posts: 306 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Um, what? It's HER body, not his. She has every right to get a tattoo, piercing, or surgically enhance any body part and she doesn't need her husband to grant his permission. This isn't the 50s.

    Replies like this are either remarkably ignorant or an indictment on how people view marriage these days. Either way, it's sad :-(

    I agree with this, if I'm honest.

    If I wanted a tattoo, I completely agree that it is ultimately my body and my decision, but at the same time I respect my partners opinion (within reason) and I wouldn’t want to get anything that would upset him, as he has to live with it too, in a way. He though, shouldn’t be insisting that you don’t have one, or making it a deal-breaker – unless you were planning to get ‘I love Justin Beiber’ tattooed across your face.

    This is all about compromise at the end of the day. Your comment about ‘shocking people’ leads me to believe that this tattoo either isn’t very socially acceptable and/or is perhaps quite large and obvious – which is fine, if you both like that sort of thing! Perhaps you should have a re-think about what you are getting, because really, I see little point in getting a tattoo and upsetting your husband for the purpose of ‘shocking people’. That’s very childish. Perhaps you could look together and find something you both like? Again, compromise.

    I really liked this answer although I agreed with the first answer and not the second.

    What I find truly offensive about the original post here is the way the responsibility is on the woman to appease the man, with no onus on him to accomodate her. No chance that he could be wrong or unreasonable.

    If it had've been phrased "Compromise with your husband and hopefully he will be your only one" then I'd be happy with that with nothing to say.
    It's not my job as a a married adult to listen and obey my husband in order to avoid divorce. Which is the message I get when I read 'Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one"

    That someone would even suggest the idea that our happiness depends *solely* on my submission and sacrifice infuriates me.

    Anyway, OP, I hope you can come to a decision that you're both happy with. A tattoo is a fun form of art and many people find joy in them.
  • bagge72
    bagge72 Posts: 1,377 Member
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    Listen to your husband and hopefully he will be your only one.

    Dam-it, I've been doing it all wrong. This must be why I'm not married yet. I should start listening to my BF more. I shall try that and I will update with my engagement.....Just kidding I'd rather be single and think for myself.

    How can you be doing it wrong if you don't have one?

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