Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

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  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    Here's the elephant in the room for me: I work and I support stay at home moms financially. I don't receive a Child Tax Credit. I don't live with a man who receives an Earned Income Credit ($43,038 ($48,378 married filing jointly) with two qualifying children in 2013 is the cap). Yet, money is taken out of my check and redistributed to those with children via Child Tax Credits and sometimes Earned Income Credits for married households even if the moms are not paying into the tax system.

    I don't have any moral issues with SAHM's but I do have a financial issue with wealth redistribution from my household to yours.

    How did I know this would come up? You don't support me, honey! My husband pays his fair share of taxes. I don't agree with the tax rules at all. It makes no sense for people to get thousands of dollars that they didn't earn. But we don't get the huge tax returns that some get. We aren't on any kind of government support, either. Just thought I'd mention that before it came up.
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
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    It's what I plan on.
  • joolywooly33
    joolywooly33 Posts: 421 Member
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    I would be bored stupid :sad:
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    I never understand the bitterness that these types of threads bring out. If you choose to work, that's great. If you're in a position where you can stay at home with your kids, and you choose to do so, that's great. We are not all the same and our goals, aspirations, dreams, and circumstances are all quite different. Learn to appreciate that difference.
  • ravengal
    ravengal Posts: 39
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    OP: The narrow-minded bigotry toward SAHM's here underlines the fact that being employed isn't a panacea for bitterness, envy, and sloppy thinking.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,052 Member
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    To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.

    raising a child is being a productive member of society.

    I find it weird that society would view being a stay at home parent as not contributing. Raising the next generation is a vitally important job. Also it's weird if someone who gets paid to look after other people's kids, e.g. nanny, nursery nurse, gets a high social status because he or she is working (as in getting a salary) while someone who does the exact same thing but with their own kids and not getting paid for it, is considered to be "not contributing" and looked down upon by others.

    I'm cool either way, re stay at home parent, working parent(s)... whatever works for the family (and no reason why it has to be the mum that stays at home if the dad wants to and she wants to work) - I also think a lot more people would be stay at home parents if they could afford it.



    this all feels like a crazy joke. Raising children is not a job, it is part of the family cycle. Yes, it is hard work but I think SAHM seriously give themselves WAY TOO MUCH CREDIT, when there are moms who work...and still do the laundry, make the meals, grocery shop, change the diapers, play with toys, clean up, blahblahblah. Now those moms I give much credit to.

    And there are mums who work and have partners who also do the laundry, meals,shopping etc - people divide the household work as well as the paid work, you know.

    I give credit to all parents who are are doing a good job bringing up their children - whether one or both have paid jobs, one is a SAHP, whatever combination they are doing that works for them.

    There isn't a one-size-fits- all formula for this - everyone is different and everyone's circumstances are different.

    I have been a SAHM for periods of time, up to 3 years at a time. I certainly don't think I was setting a lazy example for my children or not contributing to society. I didn't think I was wasting my qualifications either, just postponing using them for a time.

    That worked for me and now I am working 4 days a week and that is right for me now.

    Let everyone make what decision works for them without condescending judgement if it is different to our own decisions, I say.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    That's the way it should be. A wife should be at home raising the children. Keeping the household running smoothly. Have dinner ready when the Master of the domain retunrs from work. She should be meeting him at the door, with a welcoming home kiss, in her best housedress, wearing a string of pearls and holding a martini in one hand and the paper in the other. JUST LIKE JUNE CLEAVER !!
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,052 Member
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    It didn't work like that when I was a SAHM, road dog.
  • kdb247
    kdb247 Posts: 326 Member
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    I never understand the bitterness that these types of threads bring out. If you choose to work, that's great. If you're in a position where you can stay at home with your kids, and you choose to do so, that's great. We are not all the same and our goals, aspirations, dreams, and circumstances are all quite different. Learn to appreciate that difference.

    ^^:heart:^^
  • Jade0529
    Jade0529 Posts: 213 Member
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    That's the way it should be. A wife should be at home raising the children. Keeping the household running smoothly. Have dinner ready when the Master of the domain retunrs from work. She should be meeting him at the door, with a welcoming home kiss, in her best housedress, wearing a string of pearls and holding a martini in one hand and the paper in the other. JUST LIKE JUNE CLEAVER !!

    :laugh:

    I think that only ever happened on television.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    That's the way it should be. A wife should be at home raising the children. Keeping the household running smoothly. Have dinner ready when the Master of the domain retunrs from work. She should be meeting him at the door, with a welcoming home kiss, in her best housedress, wearing a string of pearls and holding a martini in one hand and the paper in the other. JUST LIKE JUNE CLEAVER !!

    :laugh:

    I think that only ever happened on television.

    We all know that Father knows best.
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent if you can afford it (whether Mum or Dad), probably great for the kids too until they hit school age, however what do you mean by stay at home wife? If that just consists of doing lunch with other wives and getting my nails done, and being a domestic servant to my husband when he's not working I think I'd rather drive a screwdriver into my eye.

    However if by stay at home wife you'd be doing something productive or creative from home because you don't need two regular incomes, that would be cool. But the idea of just being a kept women who's goals were to just look nice, I would just feel like a piece of property or a dependent with a parent if I wasn't making some form of productive contribution, but that's just me.

    Hats off to all the stay at home and working parents though. Raising children does not seem like a cake walk. xxxx
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    That's the way it should be. A wife should be at home raising the children. Keeping the household running smoothly. Have dinner ready when the Master of the domain retunrs from work. She should be meeting him at the door, with a welcoming home kiss, in her best housedress, wearing a string of pearls and holding a martini in one hand and the paper in the other. JUST LIKE JUNE CLEAVER !!

    :laugh:

    I think that only ever happened on television.

    We all know that Father knows best.

    LOL honestly that's my ideal life!
  • AllyBooMommyof2
    AllyBooMommyof2 Posts: 171
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    Blessed.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    God forbid if we have children, he gets to stay home and raise them. I'd lose my mind as a stay at home wife, I can't even take a holiday without going away, I can't cope. Soooo bored.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    Wow so many harsh judgments in this thread..and to the people saying stay at home mom's are "lazy" how dare you! my mother WORKED her *kitten* off keeping the house running, she made sure all the bills were organized and paid, she cleaned everyday all day long, she ran errands and helped my father with his business. She is not a lazy person and not all stay at home mothers are!
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    I feel great about it actually. Obviously, there are pluses and minuses to every situation. But, for MY particular kids, they have truly benefited from me staying home with them.

    I gave up a very well paying job. And in doing so, I gave up a lot of my own personal independence. There are days when I wonder what if??? But the truth is, MY children needed ME. I know this, because I did in fact go back to work for a very short time, a few years ago, and all hell broke loose.

    Like many things in life, you really don't know how something is going to work out, until you are in the midst of it. When you are raising children, you do the best you can. Every day. Whether you stay home with your kids, or you go to work at a job outside of the home, there is no definition of ideal, or perfect. You just make it work, as best as you can.

    As an aside, I really dislike it when I see/read women putting each other down, when it comes to this topic.
  • JamesRustler
    JamesRustler Posts: 45 Member
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    That's funny opie, because I'm not a father, but I'd like to be a stay at home father one day if it's financially able with my wife. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    I feel great about it actually. Obviously, there are pluses and minuses to every situation. But, for MY particular kids, they have truly benefited from me staying home with them.

    I gave up a very well paying job. And in doing so, I gave up a lot of my own personal independence. There are days when I wonder what if??? But the truth is, MY children needed ME. I know this, because I did in fact got back to work for a very short time, a few years ago, and all hell broke loose.

    Like many things in life, you really don't know how something is going to work out, until you are in the midst of it. When you are raising children, you do the best you can. Every day. Whether you stay home with your kids, or you go to work at a job outside of the home, there is no definition of ideal, or perfect. You just make it work, as best as you can.

    As an aside, I really dislike it when I see/read women putting each other down, when it comes to this topic.

    Wonderful for you! Also, I agree. Why do women have to tear each other down? it's sad. We need to support each other.
  • WhisperAnne
    WhisperAnne Posts: 453
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    That's funny opie, because I'm not a father, but I'd like to be a stay at home father one day if it's financially able with my wife. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

    If your wife is okay with it then sure! whatever makes you both happy. My uncle is a stay at home dad, and my aunt and him love it. She works a really good job and is able to make 100,000 a year so their 3 kids are well taken care of. It all boils down to if you have the money or not.

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