Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

WhisperAnne

I'm not a mother, but I'd like to be a stay at home wife one day if it's financially able with my husband. And if I ever have children I would want to be there to raise them. What do you think?

Sinisterly

If you can work from home.. Do et.
If not.. NAY!

-likes to work and help out-

summertime_girl

Well, first don't think that if you have kids, and you're not staying home from a job, you're not "raising" them. Working moms raise their kids too, just like working dads.

That said, it's totally a personal choice to work, stay home, or something in between. If you can afford it financially, and you enjoy it, hen go for it. If you can't, don't. Kids will turn out ok either way.

WhisperAnne

My mom was a stay at home mom and I loved coming home from school and having her there to greet me, or when I was sick she was always there to nurse me. Not saying working mothers don't do any of that, it's just my own experience.

skullshank

my wife stayed home for about 18mo when we first had ours.
she missed having adult conversations during the day and didnt really dig it much toward the end.
she was happy to go back to work.

now that hes older (11), we would both love to stay home with him, but that's financially unwise at this juncture.

sillygoosie

If that is what you want to do then great! I've been both a working mother and a SAHM. They both had their benefits. Ultimately, I am happiest while working AND raising my daughter.

I would strongly advise that you don't just set out to be a SAHM. Have some good job skills and education so that you have a career path to fall back on. Things don't always work out as planned and you don't want to be stuck with a crap job.

WhisperAnne

of course I don't want to not have any work experiences. I've been working for awhile and I went to college.

Fullsterkur_woman

It's probably wisest to get some kind of part-time situation at least to keep your skill set up to date and keep yourself marketable. I wouldn't feel good about taking myself out of the work environment for very long with the economy the way it is. Then again, I don't want any children anyway.

k8blujay2

If I could I would... but I would definitely be cultivating some freelance work or something. But that's just me.

baileyang33

I worked outside the home for 15 years at one company & now I work part-time with my husband at his business and cover all off days & time off with my kids. I thought I would hate it, but I love love love it & I get more time to squeeze in workouts!!!!

VelveteenArabian

I think if you want to and you can swing it financially and your husband is okay with it the do it. Doesn't matter what other people think. I wish I could be a stay at home wife!

victal

I had a stay at home husband. And he was fantastic when our son was a baby till he started school. The kids loved daddy taking them to school and picking them up everyday, making tea, and he does a lot better job than mummy!! :flowerforyou:

BusyRaeNOTBusty

I'm not interested.

UrbanLotus

To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.

daliyanin

I was able to stay home with my son for 16 months, before I went back to work. He is now 3 years old. Personally there is nothing I want more in this world that to be home with him, raising him. I don't think there is anything more personally gratifying. Call me old school. But reality is I have to work. And I may never get the opportunity to be a stay at home mom again.

If you can afford to stay home, do it!

Lovely_77

I dont mind it... it is a personal choice right now because I wanted to go back to school to well.... work for more.. If I cant stay home with my child I want to make sure I am making good money in turn for all those hard and long hours.

HeidiMightyRawr

Personally I would want to work, because I feel it's a part of who I am and would appreciate having some time to work on my own projects and socialise with other adults.

That said, spending a substantial amount of time with my children, more than I'd get from a regular job is important to me. Ideally I'd like to be settled in our own business before I have children, so working hours can be more flexible and up to me to decide. If that wasn't possible, I'd rather be a SAHM.

I wouldn't ever be a stay at home wife (with no children). That has no appeal to me, I'd rather be out earning as well regardless of how much money we already have.

PatheticNoetic

The nice thing about being a woman these days is you can choose whatever and it's ok. As long as your kids know you love them and you're doing your best- go to work, stay at home... doesn't matter.

I went from working to staying at home (it's cheaper for us this way). I miss working in my field and I miss adult conversation. One day I'll go back. Right now I'm fine with looking after my kids. I have moments that are hilarious and adorable and make up for the moments I want to rip my hair out.

No matter what- it's going to be hard work. Working mom, stay at home mom- doesn't matter - kids are hard work.

seltzermint555

I'm never having children (by my choice) so I won't even address that issue.

As for being a stay at home wife, I did that for a short time in my past marriage and it wasn't for me. I felt out of touch and bored. I had great plans to get involved with volunteering, new activities, etc...but I found that once I wasn't working, I felt shier and less confident so mostly I wound up thrift shopping, cooking, cleaning, and watching HGTV whilst feeling guilty that my then-husband was working all day.

Everyone's different though.

FancyPantsFran

Personal choice I was a stay at home mom for years. It was a choice I made and for me it was the right one for me and my family. If you can do it and that's what you want then go for it.

Naomi0504

I love (and prefer) to stay at home, Plus I homeschool.

WhisperAnne

It's really great reading all these opinions. I know it isn't ideal for every woman and that's okay. Whatever works out in the end for each of us is what matters. Right now I enjoy making my own money and being responsible. Who knows if I'll even like staying home. It's just a conversation I've had with others.

Gdzgal771

being a mom is a real job..the benefits arent financial but the benefits are out of this world..i never regretted being with my kids at home..being a working outside the home mom isnt easy by any means.. God bless them all.. its not easy and they deserve more ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAN THE WORLD GIVES THEM..

xLittleMissVixenx

If my husband earns enough to support us both then I'd love to be a stay at home wife. I do quite enjoy working so maybe I'd work 2 days a week or something (for the company more than anything) but I'm not ambitious at all so I'd be perfectly happy doing the kind of jobs I've done before.

PhearlessPhreaks

I'm a SAHM, and I love it. It can be maddening at times, but I'm glad I have the ability. I've contemplated going back to work once my daughters are in school, but unless we *need* the income, I think I would rather devote my free time to charity. At some point, if the (financial) opportunity ever arises, I would LOVE to open another restaurant. Beyond that, I enjoy being a 21st century June Cleaver.

Cre8veLifeR

I stayed home with both of my kids until each one was 3. I was lucky we could afford it and I wouldn't take that time back for anything in the world!! It's the hardest, most frustrating, thankless most of the time yet rewarding job ever. It's definitely not for everyone! I did go crazy and needed to go back to work and be around grown ups. Though sometimes I wonder why! :laugh: I like working and got bored staying home - needed more mental stimulation but I love that I got to have that time with them!

obrientp

I've been glad I've stayed in the work force. You know know what life is going to throw at you. My friends and I have been through it all, divorce, illness, death, spouse losing job, donor was good to know we could always provide for our families.

princessofredrock

I love it! Feel free to read my profile! 10 yrs now a stay at home, work from home and home schooling mom! : )

Good luck with your future! My 95 yr old grandma says "there is nothing like being a kept woman!" ; )

Briargrey

It's totally personal. I've been the stay-at-home mom before, and my husband has been the stay-at-home dad for the last 12 years.

What both partners have to realize though is staying at home is a job. And not staying at home is raising your kids. Both parties should work together to ensure the other has time off and not belittle the other's role. For example, my ex felt like all weekend was HIS time off, because I "didn't work" even though I was home taking care of 4 kids under the age of 3. My husband and I went into our current arrangement learning from past mistakes. Weekends are 'our' time off -- so Saturdays I take the brunt of the load (cooking/cleaning for that day, fielding kid questions and schedules and such), and he does Sundays. So we each get one full day that is our own to totally do nothing. And on the day that is ours to handle, we try to keep it to the minimums and simple so we find ourselves reasonably refreshed and rested after the weekend Obviously you have to bend and flex as weird things come up, but by sticking to this and communicating a lot, we have made this work well.

And what all people will hopefully remember is that it is a personal choice and no one should be judged for choosing one way over the other!

lieselLalor

Until the my son was about 2-2.5years I wished I could stay home all the time. As he got older though we both needed more than eachother. He needed to be around other kids his age and in a more creative environment. I needed more of a routine and some adults other than my husband and mom to talk to. I would say it's wonderful until they reach a certain age that they need other stimulation as well.

wozkaa

I'll throw in my .02 cents

I'm a SAHM. I have 14 month old twins. Prior to their birth, I was working full time in the financial industry.
We had planned to have kids, with me to be able to spend as much time with them as I wanted - if that meant staying home until it drove me mad in 18mths, or staying home until they started school.
That said, we never planned to have twins.
So the choice was removed - my wage and how far I had to travel to work, plus my Husband's unpredictable work travel schedule meant there was no option. I was not returning to work because the cost of childcare vs the actual money in pocket & stress was not worth it. I enjoyed my job, and wish I had been able to continue- but it was not the case. Thankfully we don't have a mortgage to uphold, but it also means we are at the whim of the rental market.

So now I do my best with them, and as they get older and start going to Kindy/Prep in a few years, I will look at doing some study to be able to return to work when they start school, but ideally I will work part time. My husband isn't working now, either, but he is not well enough to look after them so I can find work... so yeah. Sometimes the choices are taken out of your hands, and you end up having to rethink your opinion on a situation.