Ladies, how do you feel about being a stay at home mom/wife?

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  • bperkins88
    bperkins88 Posts: 357 Member
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    I would like to be a stay at home mom, but I dont think that's possible. My body is completely wrong :/
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
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    If you don't think raising children is contributing to society then you probably shouldn't have kids at all XD
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
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    I would like to be a stay at home mom, but I dont think that's possible. My body is completely wrong :/

    You could be a stay at home dad :P
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
    Exactly, without well raised people (no matter who it is that raised them) there is no society.

    Working parents are still raising their children.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!
    Exactly, without well raised people (no matter who it is that raised them) there is no society.

    Working parents are still raising their children.
    Didn't say they weren't. In most cases theres more than one person involved in raising an individual. All I said was that raising a member of society is contributing to society :)
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    This is very interesting. I do not have children - but I do plan on starting in the next 3 years. I have thought and debating about this SO much. I think i figured I would go to PT...but then for me, that means shift work....so I dont know. Its like mon - fri full time...or pt shift work. But omg I feel like I would go NUTS working full time and then just being a mom when I get home. At least if i was PT i could work, have me time and be a mom. Lots to think about for sure. I try not to.
  • tigerblue
    tigerblue Posts: 1,525 Member
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    I'm a working mom, and I love my job, but it is tough!!!

    Basically working moms have two jobs--we still do all the stuff SAHMs do, plus work 30, 40, or 50 hours in addition.

    I would choose to be a SAHM if our finances would permit.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!

    Because those of us who work aren't raising respectful children?

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  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    I guess I grew up the best of both worlds. My mom and dad owned their own business (a motel) and I lived with them while they stayed home and worked. The downside to having parents that work at home though is that your house is always an office or a place of business, too, and whatever quality time you are having can and will be interrupted by the outside world. I'm sure it was the same for many of the ranching and farming kids in the area: home is not only a home but a place of work, not just for the parents but for the kids. The kids also work as soon as they are able to.
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    To each their own, but it is absolutely not for me - I spent way too long getting an education and building a successful career to give it up. And I want to be a productive member of society, I would not be ok with my husband supporting me and not contributing myself.

    Stay at home moms definitely contribute! Just saying...
  • ImpishVanity
    ImpishVanity Posts: 224 Member
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    Although I think its totally up to the individal family as to what to do, I do find it a little sad that someone said back there they didn't consider raising children to be contributing to society in any way :/

    Huge ditto! Have you NOT seen some of the young adults these days?? Trust me, staying home raising 3 thoughtful respectful young men IS contributing to society!

    Because those of us who work aren't raising respectful children?

    200_s.gif

    I think they meant that someone who doesn't think raising a child is contributing to society probably isn't focused on trying to raise a child then. There is nothing wrong with being working parents.
  • bd0027
    bd0027 Posts: 1,053 Member
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    I'm not a mother, but I don't think I'd want to be a stay at home mom.

    I'm also in school to be a teacher though, so I'd see my brats anyways. (:
  • mamma_nee
    mamma_nee Posts: 809 Member
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    I have been a SAHM since I remarried 14 years ago. I love being home when the kids get home from school , and I wouldn`t have it any other way . Granted I did work crazy hours with 2 to 3 jobs per day from my high school years( 13.5 yrs old) till my 35th birthday Basically I had no childhood, no fun nights out with friends etc . I saved,saved,saved enough to be able to say I am sorta retired !! I put in my work hours. My house was paid off till I remarried and we wanted a bigger house so we are back having a mortgage now but we are still okay on the 1 salary . Staying home, raising the kids, cleaning house, cooking,maintaining the pool, and gardening and all is no picnic either but I love it.

    I do have an a couple of online shops on ETSY but I do that for fun so I do not count it as work from home lol Its the workaholic in me :)
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I'm sure everyone is meaning well, but it's important to try to NOT insult other people's life choices when defending your own.

    OF course staying home with your children is contributing to society.

    AND yes, working parents do "raise" their children and even often raise "respectful" children.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    I'm sure everyone is meaning well, but it's important to try to NOT insult other people's life choices when defending your own.

    OF course staying home with your children is contributing to society.

    AND yes, working parents do "raise" their children and even often raise "respectful" children.
    I don't think anyone here suggested otherwise, or at least that wasn't what I was trying to imply. Raising a member of society is contributing to society, whether you are doing other work outside the home or not.
    Of course I can't speak for everyone else, but I believe the people who agreed with my post are having the same thoughts.
    I just didn't really agree with saying you aren't contributing to society if you aren't working outside the house, raising a member of society is contributing no matter what!

    Hopefully that is more clear :)

    ETA: Probably even more clear now I fixed all my typos LOL
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    Agree, BusyRae
    SAHMS have a career. Not everyone can stay home with their children. Some choose to work. Loving parents contribute to society!
  • 19TaraLynn84
    19TaraLynn84 Posts: 739 Member
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    AND, being a SAHM is just as hard as being a working mom. I can say this because I've done both.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
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    I have been a SAHM since I remarried 14 years ago. I love being home when the kids get home from school , and I wouldn`t have it any other way . Granted I did work crazy hours with 2 to 3 jobs per day from my high school years( 13.5 yrs old) till my 35th birthday Basically I had no childhood, no fun nights out with friends etc . I saved,saved,saved enough to be able to say I am sorta retired !! I put in my work hours. My house was paid off till I remarried and we wanted a bigger house so we are back having a mortgage now but we are still okay on the 1 salary . Staying home, raising the kids, cleaning house, cooking,maintaining the pool, and gardening and all is no picnic either but I love it.

    I do have an a couple of online shops on ETSY but I do that for fun so I do not count it as work from home lol Its the workaholic in me :)
    That is awesome :D good on you
  • hstoblish
    hstoblish Posts: 234 Member
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    I 100% support women who decide to take this route - it's not an easy life (but then again, working isn't either). Just please don't think those of us who choose to work are doing something wrong. I work a job with good work/life balance and my little one loves her daycare and her extra time with her grandmother is really important to all of us. I am very lucky to work in my chosen field and happy that my husband and I both make equal contributions to the household financially and in terms of parenting and housekeeping. My husband is pretty rock solid though so not all working mothers are as lucky as I am.

    Basically, I feel so incredibly lucky in life and happy with my hours and work/life balance, but it can be really really hard when people who are able to stay at home and choose to do so, say things like "I just don't see why you'd have kids and then not raise them yourself."

    But if you're a gold star stay at home mom who is nice to other moms, then awesome. Absolutely awesome!
  • Madilyn1992
    Madilyn1992 Posts: 11
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    Hi, I'm a stay at home mom and sometimes it is REALLY boring but I would suggest staying home until the kid is about 2 years old and then get back into work or have another child. Kids need there moms around for the first few years for all the cuddles and breastfeeding they can get.

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